Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Thank you oneday
I am very happy to hear that you are communicating, that’s a great thing. I really hope he, and you, are getting somewhere. Maybe a spot if counselling might be beneficial to you? Ive found it helpful you might too. A bit like being given a map, rather than trying to find your own way out of the wilderness! Good luck with it all.
How’s the staying off booze? You are right , it has to come from within. But It’s one thing to know it, it’s another to really know it, if you know what I mean! I’ve not managed to stop yet. Im trying, but still, cut down massively and I now notice that you’re right about having a hangover free weekend! So focussing on the crap 12 hours instead of the jolly 2. ( and the embarrassment of dozing in front of the tv) So bored with it!
the very best of best wishes to you and your son. And to everyone else!

2 weekends! Yaaayyyyy! 1 slip up in the week, but 2 nights out with af beer - and the lucky opportunity to drive home! AND be sober enough to pick dd up, so she could escape staying at a mates. It is this thread! I like that it’s very quiet. Feels like we are soldering on but there for each other in the background. Thank you all, hope you are all ok.

Hello everyone. Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing. Well I've woken up feeling absolutely dreadful again. The anxiety, shame, embarrassment that comes with drinking too much wine. Usually I drink alone at home, but yesterday we ran into an old friend and ended up at the local pub. While there we also saw several other families we know through my kids school. I was quite chatty (alcohol eases my social anxiety) and didn't do anything outstandingly embarrassing, but I always fear that I might have said the wrong thing. I can't really remember what we talked about tbh. I can't moderate my drinking and know I need to quit for good. Today it's easy to say never again but I know I will struggle when the weekend comes round again. Just venting really and hope to join you all on the road to sobriety x

Just feel like tonight has done it!! Why do I keep drinking when I hate it? The thought that if I had to take my little man to hospital right now...I would just be a drunken mam!!! Taking her kid there...why be that when I could be a sober one!! Tonight has been shit!! Tomorrow is day 1 (again) but day one how I want it to be..I'm determined! James will not grow up watching his mam drink herself to death!!! Day 1 after 15 years!!!

Hey and hello! Nice to have company! Lovely tee pee, no wonder the wine slipped down, it sounds like a nice night.
the ladywhobakes, congrats on day 1! The longest journey and all that.
lve slipped up and had half a bottle for the last two nights. Dh opened them and well, no willpower. Am trying to focus on how rubbish it’s made me feel. Even half a bottle equals no sleep ( unless in front of tv. Embarrassing mum) and makes me irritable. I used to drink too much to notice. Even if we slip up, we are still cutting down!

Hi all. Popped into say hello.
Day 63/week 9
Spending a lot of time regretting not quitting sooner. Lots of "what ifs." If I hadn't prioritised alcohol I think I would have been a better parent. I would have been more present. I've been to so many school/sports events with a raging hangover and just wanted to get out of there. Also rushing to get away from evening events so I can go home and have a drink.
My kids are in their mid and late 20s. Neither of them drink or take drugs fortunately. They both tried. Obviously they had such a bad impression of imbibing from their parents they decided they'd be better off staying away from it. They recognised their addictive personalities.

Hope you are all doing ok. Quitting doesn't always happen overnight. I've been trying to cut down and moderate for about 25 years. This is the longest I've been af other than when I was pregnant! I need to stop for good. Moderating does not work for me. I've demonstrated this time and time again xx

@JesusSufferingFuck22 nine weeks is brilliant. @Cleanbedlinen12 @theladywhobakes hope you are both well, I know I always say this but just brush yourself of and start again.
I'm still alcohol free I've had a couple of slips since January but back on track now.
Started cutting back on sugar a few weeks ago this has made a difference to my mood and energy levels. I've been doing lots of reading into diet and hormone regulation made me realise my refined sugar intake was at unhealthy levels. I've been journaling and tracking my menstrual cycle too. This has really helped me be prepared for any cravings and put things in place for when my pms peaks.
My initial thoughts were just to get to three months and see how I feel.
Now I'm not even counting days my focus has shifted.
Took a few bumps in the road and I'm not complacent about my sobriety but all I can say I feel I've turned a corner.
The freedom I feel is so good that I never want to be stuck in that prison again. Everytime I read my OP I remember how bad I felt that day, I never want to feel like that again.
Keep trying, you can find a way the rewards are amazing.

Hello all! Well done jesus that’s absolutely brilliant. You’ve cracked on and achieved while I dither about getting nowhere, which seems to be how I run my life, stuck! Absolutely brilliant. I think your children will be very proud.
well done oneday you are made of stern stuff. I hope all is getting better with you and yours.
tuned in today because I thought I’d cracked it, I was feeling much healthier and more positive and then it’s been really stressful here. I forget about self care and then thought I could handle one glass…but no, seems I can’t! It’s not like I’m even out having fun, just cooking dinner, yet again and staring at tv yet again. SO bloody boring.
like you oneday a diary helps. And NEVER being complacent, and certainly not just having one.
well done for waking up full of beans and energy.
onwards.

Totally need some advice that's not alcohol related so hoping I can post it on here.
Me n DH have always had a great trusting relationship..tho arguments about drink..but trust has always been there.
About 3/4 months ago he started going out, not often, with his mate (a mate who openly says cheats on his missus) my DH doesn't drink much at all..only when he goes out which is not often, anyways after being out with his mate, whether it's just me being more eagle eyed or if it's the truth..I seem to see he is having his phone by his side all the time..he may have done this before but cos I trust him so much..I may not have noticed!
Anyways since he started going out with his mate (only once a month) I notice him talking to females differently (again he may have spoke to them like that but I never noticed) I did mentioned it to him..keeping his phone at his side etc..and he said he always has (we don't check each others phones at all)
So anyways being a tad paranoid..as I think drink makes you..
This girl (will call her N) she runs a business in our town..and she's always msged myself n DH for advice..for her business and her relationships tbh...
But the other night..N msged my DH at 3.30am asking him if he was awake (he wasn't) n as soon as he woke up he told me N had msged him..no problem! She had been having issues with her bf n left the house! So as I was off to a market that day n DH was in the shop..I said please let me know if N has msged during the day (I do like her) n he said 'I will'
Comes to picking me up at the market at 3pm..and I hadn't had a msg about her..so assumed she hadn't msged him to say she was ok...but asked him once he came to pick me up..'has N msged?' He then went 'NO, actually yes...' n then went on to tell me a few little msgs she had sent him..'I'm fine etc etc' so I thought no more of it!! Then I msged 'N' herself,.just asking how she was etc...for her to tell me I had a gem of a hubby cos not only did they msg on sat (no issue) he had rung her too!! N they talked for an hour!!!
I do t think anything is going on between them at all..but why did he lie? Why not tell me?

@theladywhobakes texting someone at 3 am is not normal behaviour. This doesn't mean your DH has been unfaithful. Try and keep your cool you've obviously had your spider senses triggered. It's important that you stay sober and clear minded so you can a rational assessment of what is happening.

Ah yes I was. Going through a very difficult period at that time. But I have been successful in moderating my drinking since then. I am not a good social drinker unfortunately and tend to chug back the drinks in social situations probably to overcome social anxiety. But I did then try to live a healthier lifestyle hence the wegovy etc. I am not a natural drinker - if that makes sense. And it's only in latter life that I actually drank alcohol. I have made it a rule not to drink much in social situations anymore...instead always making myself the designated sober driver. This is always my go to excuse for not drinking.