Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Please can I join. I’m awake, again, from alcohol. And realised that it’s getting worse - and I’m soo fed up with it. Thank you inspiring people.

@cleanbedlinen12 morning, how are you feeling now? I get up early most mornings and I know I would feel dreadful when I was drinking everyday. I drank literally everyday. I've had some really good support on here and I lurk on other threads. It's day 13 for me and I honestly didn't think I would be able to say the 2 weeks ago. I look forwards to reading your posts and sharing our progress.
I went into town yesterday and treated myself to a new pair of shoes and bought myself lunch in a restaurant with the money I've saved. Looking forwards to what my next treat will be. Im going to start the nhs coach to 5k on Saturday been looking at the plan seems doable.
@coodawoodashooda how are you?

onedayiwillflyaway1
Thanks so much! I do feel dreadful, tired and muffled head. Well done 13 days sounds immense, that’s incredible! . I’ve been doing dry jan and realised I’ve had 3 af days this year. 😵‍💫I’m totally kidding myself that I’m having a sophisticated glass while cooking. Nope!
Well done all of you. Am thinking of doing the alcohol explained course, maybe I should read the book first!
And thank you for letting me join in

@Cleanbedlinen12 I do recommend the alcohol explained audio book I read it a few years ago but because i was drinking whilst reading it didn't sink in. This time I listened whilst suffering after a massive binge alone one night.

Hi there!
I just wanted to say hello. I bought Alcohol Explained at the beginning of the year because I knew my daily drinking was slowly spiralling and I wanted some motivation to do dry January. What an amazing book!
I didn’t manage to do dry January, but two really interesting things happened: Firstly, on the rare occasions when I did have a drink I only had one or two - never in excess and never any spirits anymore. And secondly, I noticed I didn’t really enjoy the experience! I mean I briefly enjoyed that lovely buzz you get, but (predictably) that never lasted. I think for the first time I realised how the anticipation of a “nice relaxing drink” after a busy day and the social aspect of “all of us enjoying a drink together, what fun” is nicer than the drink itself, if that makes sense? I never realised that about myself and it was quite an eye opener.
I have been a lone drinker, a social drinker and a secret drinker, and I’ve come to the point where I don’t want to be any of these things anymore. I’m sick of alcohol and how it makes me feel.
Paradoxically, ever since cutting down so drastically I really have noticed how shit it makes me feel when I do have a drink. Now, after even just one beer I wake up at 5 am sweating and my heart racing and I have a horrible headache all day. Whereas before when I drank more or less daily I guess I also had these symptoms but they didn’t seem so bad or severe. It has really put me off drinking!
The pitfalls for me, and the reason I still do have an occasional drink are the fact that I travel a lot with work and stay in hotels for several nights on the trot, and when I do I always go out for dinner with my colleagues and we inevitably have a drink. It’s frustrating - I go out telling myself I just have water (I don’t like fizzy drinks at all) but when it comes to ordering I just can’t seem to say no to alcohol!
The other issue is the fact that my marriage is going through a massive rough patch at the moment (and has done for some time). DH is a heavy drinker, and drink was definitely one of the things we bonded over. We both enjoy craft beers and going out together for a few or even getting some nice cans to enjoy at home was one of our things.
Without this, and with me going to bed really early every night because my sleep is still quite disrupted so by the evening I’m knackered, especially without alcohol as a stimulant, it’s like one of the last things holding us together has fallen away.
In addition, I think seeing me not drink makes DH feel bad about his drinking, and combined with his daily hangover he is feeling really low and often grumpy/short. So that really doesn’t help the general mood in the house.
I so wish he would manage to have at least a few dry days every week, and I wish we could instead enjoy doing other things together. But that would mean for him to give up drink for more than one or two evenings at a time, and at the moment he doesn’t even really manage that.
On the upside, I feel so much better. I really want to quit drink for good. I have noticed a difference in my energy levels, in my skin and in the appearance of my face and my under-eye-bags are hugely improved!
I would love for my sleep to be less disrupted, I’m hoping that will come in time.
I am also missing a “treat” drink in the evenings. I have bought lots of Pukka teabags, which are nice, but a nice cold drink you’ll be lovely. I’ve tried elderflower sparkly water but I can’t take to it. Will definitely try Kombucha!
Thanks for starting this thread. I’ve found it really interesting to read everyone’s journey, and it’s lovely to feel others are in the same boat!

God - sorry for the long post

Hello hanswurst!
I was just reading this for inspiration to avoid the 5 pm cravings. And there you were.
Maybe we can avoid them together! You’ve certainly been through a tough time, but that’s great. Have to try kombucha everything else is so sweet.
thisnakedmind.com/ep-13-alcohol-explained-with-william-porter/
Might be worth a quick lesson it’s the guy from alcohol explained chatting to Annie grace. I must say it makes a lot of sense.
More chocolate and tea!

[quote onedayiwillflyaway1]@cleanbedlinen12 morning, how are you feeling now? I get up early most mornings and I know I would feel dreadful when I was drinking everyday. I drank literally everyday. I've had some really good support on here and I lurk on other threads. It's day 13 for me and I honestly didn't think I would be able to say the 2 weeks ago. I look forwards to reading your posts and sharing our progress.
I went into town yesterday and treated myself to a new pair of shoes and bought myself lunch in a restaurant with the money I've saved. Looking forwards to what my next treat will be. Im going to start the nhs coach to 5k on Saturday been looking at the plan seems doable.
@coodawoodashooda how are you?[/quote]
Thanks op. Im fine. I have a lot of work on at the moment so a lot of distraction. Couch 25k sounds good. Did you get a chance to see the walking videos on YouTube?

I’m just reading your thread op and you are all amazing. Thinking of you all and having read some of alcohol explained have done NIGHT 1. Yay! Also roped Dp in. So that’s it, officially off booze for ever. I really hope. Thanks op.

I just wanted to say hello. I have been lurking a bit, building up the courage to quit, and your thread inspired me to download Alcohol Explained and now I have just finished Day 5 so massive thank you. I am finding it hard but managing it so far. Hello to everyone on this thread!

Hi @Borrowbox
Well done @Cleanbedlinen12 ! I also haven’t caved, picked up some Kombucha from tescos this evening but I’m going to save it for tomorrow night. I really hope I like it, and it can be a nice non-alcoholic treat. I finished off the elderflower sparkly water instead - I’m not keen but I hate waste My friend reminded me that I do actually like tonic water too - I just never think of it as a drink, just as a mixer for spirits, which is a bit embarrassing! She drinks it with a slice of lemon and some frozen raspberries, which actually sounds lovely. So I also picked up a bottle of fevertree, in case the kombucha is a flop. As I came home from the shops my neighbour waited outside for me with a bottle of wine, as a thank you for feeding his cat. So lovely but my heart sank! Anyway, I have put it in the back of the cupboard and will pretend it isn’t there.
I’ve also downloaded the NHS app to track my sober days, so I’m hoping that will keep me motivated over the weekend.
Thanks for the link @Cleanbedlinen12 , I’ll give that podcast a listen on my way to work tomorrow!

👍you are welcome. I’ve just read your first post again OP. So that this all finally sinks in. I read it the day you posted and when I found it again, you were 13 days sober and I was STILL hungover. Made me realise how much of my life is being ruined by drinking - and the drink stopped me from realising.
I actually feel brighter this morning! Ooh, it’s nice! Hanging onto that.
Thanks all.

Morning, just catching up on my break had a crappy day yesterday there are a lot of politics going on at work at the moment and it's a bit stressful I nearly caved last night I even had the wine in my basket. I was giving myself so many reasons to have a f*#k it night. Your posts on here really helped. My plan tonight is a home mini spa, footbath face mask etc with a massive tub of ice-cream. Well done to everyone and thank you.

Well done you, OP that’s incredibly well done indeed. And you’ll be able to handle it better today being refreshed and not fuzzy! Respect !💐

Well done OP, you did so well! Hope today is a better day for you.

Sounds like everyone is doing really well. I keep hearing about Kombucha so you will have to say what it is like. So far I have been sticking to water but it would be nice to find a weekend drink.

How are you op

How are you doing op?
I hope everyone is doing well. And whoever has caved, I always remind myself of one of my most favourite movie quote ever:
“Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around”.
I always think of this when I feel I have let myself down. It’s ok. Start again. One day you will start again for the last time.
Big hugs to everyone.

@coodawoodashooda @hanswurst Morning thanks for checking in, I'm ok this morning. I was really down on myself yesterday I had two G&T's on Friday night then beat myself up about breaking my sober streak. They didn't even touch the sides I could have so easily gone on a bender but I stared down the abyss and stopped myself. One thing I did learn is that I get zero enjoyment from just a couple so whats the point. I've got a difficult relationship with my mother and that is one of my triggers, without going into too much detail she makes me feel extremely guilty for not being available to her demands. She does have very complex issues but has the ability to be self sufficient physically. When she lays on the guilt trip i feel powerless and turn to a drink. Im back on track today didn't drink yesterday and ive had a blip. I hope all you ladies are ok wil check back in later after I've done some cleaning.

I think you should be immensely proud of yourself @onedayiwillflyaway1 for managing to stop after two. That took an awful lot of willpower. Also, I don’t know about you but recently when I’ve had a drink it made me feel so rubbish (mentally and physically) and that experience is really helping me stay on track now - whenever I am tempted I just think what’s the point?! So maybe you needed to experience this and it will help you next time?
I am sorry to hear about your problems with your mum. I carry lifelong guilt of not being good enough/trying hard enough and it has really affected how I am as a person and what I behave like in relationships. It sucks!

onedayiwillflyaway well done for stopping. That’s absolutely impressive. Really well done.
Fwiw I caved tonight, not a great track record. Tired and cooking yet another dinner. Drank a glass I didn’t want before I’d notice. Even as the familiar feeling returned, I felt, oh no not this again. I REALLY don’t like dozing on the sofa after cooking, too tired to wash up, waking all night, bleary a.m. what am I doing?!
Well done everyone.

Well done for stopping after only a couple/one! I know it must feel tough to reset but actually it sounds like you learnt something from this so it is all part of the process.

I am struggling with the cravings now, having to tackle them constantly. I am on Day 9 and am already forgetting that I can't moderate. Valentine's Day is normally a nice meal and bottle of wine.

Keep going all, hope you have a good day!

Borrow box..day9 ! That’s immense. I’m beginning to think day 3 will be an achievement. This is SO hard. Smoking was easier in a way because everyone made it clear it was crap. Alcohol? It’s so approved of. All The Time.

@Cleanbedlinen12 it’s so true what you say. Alcohol is everywhere and you are almost a freak if you don’t drink on certain occasions. At least in my social circle, the general implication is that you can’t possibly enjoy yourself if you don’t have a drink.
I hope everyone is doing well and feeling proud of whatever they are achieving, whether it’s a drink free day or just stopping after one or two drink. Baby steps are better than no steps at all!

Yes, alcohol is completely normalised - you are the odd one out to not be drinking. One thing that helped me was to have a really clear reason why I wanted to drink less.

I decided I simply wanted to not want it.

I wanted a drink to be an active choice rather than something I did automatically. Then I built every drinking decision around this. It started by being aware when I drank. This simple step along brought about huge changes so I'd definitely recommend you know very clearly why you're deciding to drink less or not at all. It will help through the challenging times.

Thanks both, and everyone else. I’m surprised at how hard I’m finding it. Even though you know it’s crap.
Hanswurst, you are right, baby steps! Brighspice, that’s a good tip.
I also remember one from another thread where she knew it was the wine witch whispering in her ear and kept saying,’jog on’ which seemed another good tip!
Good luck everyone!