Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Ahh @Cleanbedlinen12 keep it up lovely. You can do this! Think about all the time you can give to yourself. I love a good pamper night now. I've started making some homemade face masks etc... I watched a film called "Her" on netflix bit weird about AI intelligence a guy falls in love with an operating system. Got me thinking about how much we live inside ourselves our own heads at times. I'll check in tomorrow I'm out of tea now so off to bed 💤

Thanks oneday! I found it hard tonight, Dp opened a bottle ad it was a long day. I had a sip, sort of to prove to myself it was horrible, or that’s what the wine witch told me, luckily it was awful and made me feel yuk immediately. And I managed to realise what I was doing. Phew! The film Her sounds good. I think that’s the trouble with alcohol, we are so in our own heads we don’t realise how crap we are being. Hmmm. I’m really glad I didn’t properly succumb. Again thoughts of you all helped. In lovely bed with tea and snuggling. Really Lovely not to feel drunk and yuk. Anxiety seems to be lessening a I too. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking 🤔
enjoy your cuppas everyone!

Hope I can join in. I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread and hoping to use some of the advice on it. My relationship with drink is weird. I never drunk really until I was about 24 and moved to Spain where drink was just everywhere. I’ve had ups and downs with it over the past 14 years. Periods of drinking every single day, to months without it. It got really bad just as we went into the first lockdown where I was drinking every single day. I then quit my job in the may of the first lockdown and never drunk at all for 4 months. But then I started again, just one night a week and then increased to more and more. I am at the point now where I don’t drink every night, I drink 3-4 nights a week but it’s so routine. I will drink every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday because DH isn’t in, my drinking causes so many arguements, I don’t even know where we are in our relationship atm. I literally gulp down the wine, to get hammered as quickly as possible and it’s increased from one btl to one btl and a little btl to 1 btl and 2 little btls to now 2 big btls and they really don’t last long. I feel like I am failing as a mam now though as I’m only interested in getting as drunk as poss as quick as poss. I drunk last Saturday, which I don’t normally do, so feeling I need to get help now before it gets any worse and my marriage completely fails. So I suppose I can say yesterday was my day one, even though I never drink on a Sunday? Or maybes I should wait for Tuesday, my drinking day, to say day one.
I always wake up the next day, dreading looking at my phone to see who I messaged/rung.
This group seems so supportive so I would love to be in it & hopefully help and get help 😊

Hi Theladywhobakes Hang on, it's your day 1 & an opportunity to sort out your thoughts, to unpick & decide to kick this habit. If you can Google William Porter & his book Alcohol Explained, either through YouTube or Facebook that will be a good start. Others on here may suggest other resources they have found effective. I suggest you get the book, I listened to it in small installments on Audible so I could process it. It was my companion & friend at a time when I was feeling very low & desperate to stop drinking, I know the anguish & distress. You have taken the first important step & reached out for help. My personal key was converting the lure of alcohol into self care & esteem. Deliberately rejecting alcohol. Little things like paying attention to my grooming, even sorting out my wardrobe. Waking up with no regret & self incrimination. Try to distract yourself. Get organised with a nice cup & a favourite drink, you don't have to feel deprived. Once you successfully change a routine it becomes easier to the point of being automatic. This book contains the information required to rewire your thought processes & reaction to alcohol. If it's not your day one then plan for another day. Hugs.

That was good to read Cleanbedlinen proper considered choice. It does feel good, and is a poke in the eye of the Devil. I've got an inflamed infected big toe & have just started antibiotics, it's proper ouchy. I can't wear shoes. After slowly pottering doing essential chores I'm on the sofa catching up on some T.V. a few months ago I would have opened a bottle & that would have been it. A couple of hours of detachment followed by 24hrs of physical & mental discomfort. Bo*ks to that

@theladywhobakes as @TheOriginalChatelaine says it was the book "alcohol explained" by William Porter on audible made the difference for me. If you do one thing listen to that book even if it's only a chapter a day. We are here to listen and and support.

@TheOriginalChatelaine ouch that sounds sore!! Hopefully those antibiotics do there work soon. Ps i love your posts you have a lovely way with words.

Hello ladywhobakes please join in. I love this group - it’s small and incredibly supportive. theoriginalchatelaine has nailed it. Though I feel for her/ you! Antibiotics sounds serious, I hope it’s an excuse to look after yourself. Well done, you are so right a couple of hours detachment and hours and hours of lack of sleep, anxiety, feeling blurgh. And those antibiotics wouldn’t have worked!
oneday you are pretty good with words too, I think.
another night down. Though if I’m being honest..I had a sip of dps wine. Yes it made me feel yuk, but I found myself thinking ‘ I’ll just drink through that’ whaaa! Luckily I enjoy sleep more than headaches so..had a cuppa tea instead. Phew! . I do Wish Dp would give up too. He has a super stressful job, which we all now know is not helped by drinking, buy you get in tired and hungry and stressed and it’s so easy to open a bottle of sour poison.
hope everyone is snuggled. Well done ladywhobakes

Evening @Cleanbedlinen12 your doing great. It must me tough if your DH is drinking wine, just concentrate on yourself for now and maybe get your bedroom all cosy fairy lights, candles and have a pamper night or go for a walk now the nights are getting lighter. If he sees the positive effect not drinking wine is having on you then maybe he will follow suit.

I just wanted to say thank you to @onedayiwillflyaway1 and all of you posters for this thread. There are so many sensible tips such as “playing it forward” I’m definitely going to visualise that one.

And of course the book Alcohol Explained. I downloaded it this afternoon and have read the first chapter. I’m more of a reader than listening to audio books or podcasts, but I guess changes in routine help, so I’m also going to download a copy of the audible for listening to in car on way into work tomorrow.

It’s my first day back after month wfh and I’m hoping it will also help on the drive back (to get me in right frame of mind, and hopefully prevent me from heading straight to Deliveroo and ordering a delivery)

Thank you again for such sensible advice and I’ll definitely come back in to check and post if that’s ok too?

Good night all 💐

Hi @Sureen lovely to have you here. I'm normally more of a reader too, but somehow listening to this book worked for me. I did try to read it but the audible version hit home. You've probably read my post's about how bad things had gotten for me... We are all at different points in this bumpy pothole ridden road.

Thank you for the welcome @onedayiwillflyaway1 - I now have signed up to Audible, so will give it a go in audio format too.

When I read your original post, a lot resonated with me (in fact this was same for many posters) you must also be so relieved not to have that awful anxiety every day and feeling more in control of your choices too. You and others (@TheOriginalChatelaine and @Cleanbedlinen12) have done amazingly well and even when there have been back steps, it’s really admirable to see that none of you have given up, and have dusted yourselves off and believed in yourselves.

I don’t have the crushing anxiety this morning, or shame, I just feel pretty flat like last night, but I’m guessing that is all the depressants still swimming around. I drank so much previously, it’s crazy how I’ve not caused more damage to myself.

I know it’s a process and hopefully, shower and listening to AE on drive into work will be boost me a little with some good old logic. 😊

Thank you for the welcome. I've got the alcohol explained on audible now and attempted listening to it whilst baking this morning but it didn't work..I feel like I need to concentrate more on it (and I can't mess up the bakes as that's how I make my money)
This is day 3 for me and I knew it would be the hardest so far as it's a 'normal' drinking day for me but so far so good..The want to go to the shop is definitely there, but I haven't.
On a bonus point tho me and DH have sorted out a lot of our issues and are back on pretty good terms, so that is going to help a lot.

We’ll done on day 3 and overcoming urge to go to shop @theladywhobakes. I hope that feeling of achieving that will give you more motivation to power through any urges tomorrow.

I’m started Atomic Urges on audio on way home from work, and I found that inspiring in little ways, even though it is not a Quit Lit book as such, more a book to help us understand the logic of habits, the ways we can achieve our goals not by thinking of goals, but focusing on the system to get there. It’s really impactful for me at mo, but will go back to AE soon. Just feel soo exhausted tonight.

Hello, checking in! Welcome sureenand ladywhobakes This is such a nice thread, I recommend re reading it to give extra strength! I’m really glad to here you and Dh have sorted out a lot of issues. We’ve been through the mill too, and I think alcohol definitely doesn’t help. I didn’t realise it was really exacerbating my depression. Which obviously ( I now realise) affects everyone else. oneday I have taken your advice and turned my bedroom into a tidy sanctuary. What a difference it makes - now I feel more worthwhile and ‘treated’. Fairylights tomorrow! I poured out a glass, and threw it down the sink tonight. I am worth more than cheap vinegar crap! So am choosing to feel proud that I stopped myself.
I think it’s normal to feel flat ( and exhausted) as everything resets. I think you are all very wise, I love the idea that we are all on the same bumpy road together, what a great image. Oneday.Somehow for me this is all tied up in a pothole of self esteem, feeling lost and unheard, not giving myself time. I wonder what’s causing it for everyone else?
enjoy a good nights sleep everyone!

Good luck op. I've not rtwt yet. I looked up alcohol explained and it looks like the right book at the right time for me.
I've spend virtually my whole life with alcohol. When I was a kid my great uncle used to give me wee glasses of sherry. When I was 11 one new year my granny made a bowl of punch for us kids. We all had colds so didn't really taste the alcohol. Kids got drunk.
My dh drinks too. We were up to about 2 litres vodka per week between us.
I've tried to cut down, stick to weekends etc. but it doesn't last long. I decided last week I REALLY need to stop for good. No more excuses. I've steadily been getting sicker these past few months and I'm pretty certain it's alcohol related. I've spoken to gp and getting tests etc. Hoping I've not done permanent damage to my stomach/gut.
Today I told my counsellor that I was stopping drinking for good. I can't decide whether to tell other people or not yet.
The biggest challenge will be when I am feeling better and actually want a drink.....or my husband wants a drink but wants to use me as a scapegoat.

Good luck and well done to everyone who has decided to stop xx

hey well donejesussuffering that’s great news. You will do great here, they are amazing!
Personally I’m keeping my non drinking to myself at the mo, tho I’ve told Dp. I don’t want to feel ‘looked at’. Well done, that’s day 1! If it helps even a few days off seem to help sleep and, after a few days of being knackered you start to just find yourself having a bit more energy, be a bit happier. That’s what I’ve found anyway, and what I try to focus on when the wine witch starts muttering. You can do it .

@Cleanbedlinen12
This is day 7 af but day 1 of saying it out loud to someone else. The real test will be when I'm feeling much better and full of energy and wanting to celebrate. I've been there many times. This time feels different though.

jesus wow, day 7. That’s amazing. Well done indeed.

Checking in. Another day! I am well chuffed. And well snuggled. Sans fairy lights still tho! Best wishes all.

I'm all snuggled to @Cleanbedlinen12@Cleanbedlinen12

Sorry mumsnet has gone all weird since this new update 🤔You are doing really well. Im trying to tag jesus for a welcome but it's not working. @Cleanbedlinen12

Oh christ I give up 🤣. I'm obviously too old for this new technology.

I'm all snuggled in too. Audiobooks at the ready. I'm starting to feel a lot better, not 100% yet though and as expected I can hear that wee voice starting already " maybe just quit for a month?" among other unhelpful things.
I read the first few chapters (for free) of Alcohol Explained. That helped.
Today I went through all my online shops and removed alcohol from my favourites. It felt good. Also thinking it might be unhelpful further down the road.
Good night all.

Hi all, a lurker here but wanted to contribute. I dont have a huge problem with alcohol, but would like to be able to stop at 1 glass. I've found this useful: 90dayslater.co/so-masterclass. Starts you off with 3 simple things that doesn't involve going back to day 1 (been there done that too many times!) I'm getting sent more things to think about each day around changing my thinking around drinking. It's helping (so far!) so wanted to share.

Good luck to a drinking-less weekend!