Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Day three! Well done you!
You can’t beat crisps - recommend lidls deluxe, range. Very crunchy!
Thank you for the support everyone. It’s because of you I’m not giving up giving up. You are right one day, a good nights sleep is wonderful.
Enjoy baking, what a fab thing to do! And oh, to have evenings back. And mornings for that matter!
I’ve learnt, again, that one drink with a chum immediately becomes a nightly thing, so I need to avoid that. Good luck everyone! Chocolate eggs are better than ethanol anyway!

@onedayiwillflyaway1

Good Morning *@Cleanbedlinen12, well done, its such a good feeling waking up early and fresh isn't it. Hi @sobersue* nice to have you join us. I've been having nibbles in the evening my tastebuds are on overdrive now the nightly wine isn't dulling them. I've really got back into baking again keeps me busy in the evening. Have a lovely day everyone.

Ha ha - I like waking up early and fresh but not at 5ish. I am sleeping when I go to bed but for some reason I am waking at 5 which is about 2 hours earlier than normal. Some mornings after wine it could be nearer 10. I loved wine and chocolate together, never a problem for me but I am eating far too much of it and other snacks now. Thought when I stopped drinking I would loose weight but that is not happening so something else I am going to have to stop, Seriously thinking of going to SW on Saturday, never been before but if I can stop the wine then maybe the food will follow.

Hello!hope you are all well and enjoying being free of booze. I’m posting because I’m back to day 1 again. Darn it. But I am having another go. This time I will change mindset from, ah, doesn’t matter, to..it’s awful stuff! I’ve been chugging it back even as I know it’s crap, just chugging it back quicker so I can fool myself I’m not doing it. Good grief what am I doing?
tonight ended up easy - if Dp cooks I’m not tempted nearly so much. And it was lucky as elderly chums turned up and they do not approve of booze to excess, so I was very grateful I was sober! This time I will stop. Convincing myself white wine isn’t sparkly days in the sun, it’s yucky slug slime and all things gross. Friday am out with the gals but I will enjoy being sober. For sure. Amazing how you can convince yourself that bing awake all night and anxiety ridden mornings is nothing to do with you.
sorry for going on, it’s good to sort out thoughts here, as the thought of you guys helps me feel accountable, so thank you!

@Cleanbedlinen12 How's your evening going? I bought some wireless earbuds to wear when i go for my run (or limp) so I've been listening to some music tonight.
I'm currently drowning in housework as I'm still exhausted from covid but back in work I'm trying not to be too hard on myself as that's when I want to drink.
Hope you have a lovely night out tomorrow you are doing great.

Oh gosh you are wonderful onedayiwillflyaway thank you for putting up with me! I made it through night 2, yay! Even tho Dp opened the red. Well done me!
and well done you - for realising that you neEd to not be too hard on yourself. It’s especially difficult I think, if you are recovering and somehow you feel you should be getting better faster, or feel like you should have cleaned whatever. It sounds like lots of pampering is required! pampering does help, with everything!
well done to everyone else as well, whether you are going strong or tripping up.💐

Hi everyone, I wrote a long post on Easter Sunday which just happened to be my birthday...and it failed to post & just disappeared grrrr. I then had to get up & on. We are away visiting ds & his family...our little grand daughter, fist gc.... I'll see if this posts before writing what I want to say....

oneday glad to hear you are recovering from covid & may you go from strength to strength & enjoy the benefits of sobriety. Cleanbedlinen sharing your thoughts is so necessary, what you say was me just a short few months ago & for decades before that. I was so fed up with myself & felt so low & hollow despite having positive lovely things in my life. I eventually looked at myself as if watching a film & it was that & finding this thread & the book that flipped the switch in my brain. The humility of surrendering to the fact that I cannot drink responsibly was the biggest gift. What a colossal waste of my time, money & health drinking has been. Looking forward noe. People are drinking around me, drink is in the house & I'm not in the least bit interested as I know once I start the whole wretched cycle will start again. So remember, step away. Cooking was the time I would always drink, it took a conscious effort to break that habit & I did so with the instructions from the book, it's all in there & I would run through it as if in slow motion. One more step along the way to victory everyone.

theoriginalchatelaine happy birthday! 🥳🍰🥳💐🍰💐🎄⭐️😜🍰🍰💐Well done you, a sober birthday is a thing of beauty!
thanks for your wisdom, I’m soaking it up, it makes sense and I’m going to be re reading it, that’s for sure. I like the idea of watching it like a film. It wasn’t till I managed to do that that I saw 1, what my actions really were, and 2. They were drink inspired and 3, actually they weren’t very pretty seen from another perspective.
very pleased that I went out and didn’t drink! It was really pleasant not to feel wobbly and to get a good nights sleep. Day 3- again.also you are right, it’s such a pain slipping into it and then having to break the habit yet again. Baby steps! Thanks for the support.

Hi Cleanbedlinen Day 3 is great, I always consider that an important milestone as your body is free of the poison & the rest is psychological as in consciously changing habits, being deliberate & taking control of what happens. I suddenly realised I was not helpless. One successful incident of a change will be a foundation for the next time. I hate to have anything dominate me so I realised I could change my mindset & stand up assertively against alcohol & refuse to let it have power over me. Think beautiful thoughts about your wellbeing & caring for yourself. Hugs.

Thank you. That’s really good to know. Just slept ridiculously long, which must mean something good. I like that you refuse to be dominated by it. I’m working on seeing it as gross and poison. I also think you are right and that a lot of self care is needed- I suspect it’s when we are tired and plugging on that it becomes a temptation. If I could ignore feeding the family for some cereal and bed all would be good!
it’s good to know you are out there and doing so well. How’s everyone else doing?

P.s. this made me laugh - and feel a lot better
Day 3 is great, I always consider that an important milestone …it’s reassuring to know that that means you’ve had a lot of day 3s and you’ve kept going. Fantastic ! And well done indeed.

Yes I've seen a few day 3s through the years for the illusion of detoxification but once I felt better I went back to drinking. Looking back in a detached way now, it was crazy behaviour, a classic pattern as described in the book. I never sought help, thought I was alone. I was certainly ashamed. The energy it took to appear to function normally, well I just can't do it anymore. It's such a relief. My dh rarely drinks & never to excess, he never criticised by drinking but I know it affected our relationship, limited it. We were so focused on bringing up our children we just carried on. He avoids conflict, likes things to run smoothly which they more or less did through division of labour, I wonder what would have happened if he had stood up to me. So I got away with it in a superficial sense. It's now time to pay the piper. I have health concerns due to drinking so my energy is now going into becoming as healthy as possible. So I wish I had stopped when I was younger. That is my life long regret. I won't dwell on it as I'm fortunate in so many ways & am looking forward & outwards. An AF life is not dull, it's just the opposite. Each of us will hopefully journey to that realisation in our own way but I know this book contains an important & profound nudge to quitting.

Hello theoriginalchatelaine ( why did you pick that name?!) I used to really want a chatelaine when I was a kid!
thank you, for such a raw and honest post. I am so glad you have managed to quit now - and not in a years time. I’ve been re reading bits of this thread, and you’ve been af since 15 Feb! Well done! Or that’s when you posted, really well done. Like you, I wish I’d quit years ago, it’s only recently I realised I’ve been trying for at least 15 years, ever since life took a down turn. And of course, booze probably helped it stay down turned.
I’ve done another night, yay! I swept the yard while Dp made tea, and didn’t miss it at all. I’m absolutely shattered though, early night and a cuppa. And a read of this thread, there are some amazing posts and wonderful people. Thank you original for posting. It’s knowing you and others are out there not judging that is helping me give up again, and others I hope. It would be very easy to give up giving up, as people on threads like this seems to crack it and move on. which usually leaves me feeling a bit Betsy failure but I guess is something to aim for.
anyway, well done you, and virtual cuppas to all.

Another day! Im going to say day 5 as the first few days involved the odd sip, so ..Am utterly shattered and aches and pains making themselves known. REally enjoying sleeping. Looking forward to snuggling up in my freshly made bed.

Well done @Cleanbedlinen12 hope you've had a restful sleep. Just take one day at a time, before you know it a day will pass and you won't have even thought about it.
I've not moved on still here reading, my anxiety is pretty much gone and my resilience has increased. I still get a bit antsy at times but my first thought is put the kettle on and have a brew.
You are doing amazing!!

Thank you! onedayiwillflyaway that means a lot. I’m delighted to see you are still here, even more delighted to learn that your anxiety has pretty much gone and resilience has increased. That’s such a massive benefit.
well done! Massive well done! And yes to a ton of cuppas! Tea is brilliant.
im so proud to have done another day . Sleep is now a treat, and I had noticeably more energy. It’s wonderful! Why didn’t I realise?
good luck all.

Reading this to keep me focussed! Sunny night and the pizza oven is out, danger!

@Cleanbedlinen12 You've got this enjoy the moment it sounds lovely.

Thanks oneday
I did it yayyy! Reminded myself of you guys, getting sleep and imagined that white wine is just juice extruded by slugs. And if that doesn’t put a girl off, nothing will!
hope everyone is doing well x

It's great isn't it Cleanbedlinen ? I'm so so pleased to hear your update. Nice things before bed. I really look forward to my hot drink, audio book & taking time on skincare. AF is power.

Thank you the original I read this to encourage myself and there you are encouraging me! Very appreciated. I agree with you, a hit drink and an early night is brilliant. Tonight is tricky - I’m tired and yet to cook and there’s an open white in the fridge! Reading this and making a cuppa and a sarnie before I cook dinner - my theory is if I’m full I won’t guzzle slug juice poison ethanol which only hurts kidneys, skin, lack of energy lack of sleep..phew! Reminded me!
good luck everyone. And thank you 😊

Brilliant update @Cleanbedlinen12@Cleanbedlinen12

I find if i plan my evenings out small tasks then it helps. Eg tonight im mending some clothes and cleaning the bathroom should only take an hour. Then nice shower and as @TheOriginalChatelaine says do my skincare routine. Drink of choice is chamomile tea with honey.
I fancy watching a film tonight so bought some sweet chilli crackers and dips.
Have a lovely evening ladies.

What a lovely update too!
planning small tasks is a very good idea. Especially as I’ve just horrified myself by opening the wardrobe! It’s full of old tut someone has given me and dispiriting old clothes. I think that would make a good task! I’m beginning to think about self care too. Like you both. It’s amazing, it’s only (!) a week, but I’m feeling livelier - mentally and physically and found myself actually looking at an Adrienne video! Haven’t done it yet, but somehow you are right, cleaning skin, hot showers, hot drinks…I’m sure self care would help stop the need to console oneself with booze.
I nearly caved, Dp was drinking and I was endlessly cooking, and tidying. but I didn’t! Mind you I ate so many snacks I couldn’t eat dinner! Baby steps 😀
good luck all.💐

Ps hope the film was good.