Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Morning all.

Went over a friends for an hour last night and took a couple of bottles of fever tree which we drank out of wine glasses lol. It was actually quite a pleasant hour :)
Going to mums this afternoon to do her housework so have a focus for today.

Finished Alcohol Explained last night, and while It makes complete sense I still have in the back of my mind 'maybe one day if my liver heals I can moderate'. I know logically that I cannot do this. It feels like I'm struggling with that last final acceptance.
While Alcohol has been a lot on my mind I haven't had what I would call bad 'cravings'.
Before starting the second book I'm going to reread the first.

Completely understand what you are saying brave Forever is a long time. I know I don't want to drink now but struggling to imagine a holiday without wine. It has always been part of it. I am getting to the point where I don't think about wine as a way too de-stress, but the celebrations are hard.

I think we just have to keep plodding on and hopefully by the time the future comes around we won't want to drink. When are your next tests? Are you going to be able to see improvements. That may help.

Afternoon, Day 37 checking in. Hope everyone is doing OK. Life is piling on the rubbish at the moment but luckily it isn't triggering cravings. I definitely seem to struggle more at good times it seems.

Hey everyone.

Day 24 AF, feels like longer haha!! So much time that was took up with Alcohol...... planning on if In was going to be drinking that evening? Did I have enough to last me? Going and buying it! Drinking the night away. Not waking up til midday - and repeat [shcok]

Had a massive stressful afternoon yesterday, mainly to do with the kids. First what I would call proper craving I've had, as stress was a major trigger for me...
Managed to talk myself through it quite quickly and didn't succumb so that was good.

@Borrowbox

My appointment at the liver clinic is 31st March. Not sure yet if I will just be having blood tests or another Fibrscan as well. The blood tests no doubt will be much longer than the GP for results as I'm assuming they won't tell me until another follow up? If they do a repeat Fibroscan they give instant results.

Damn it, can't alter a post, my spelling mistakes irritate me lol!!!

@bravefacescaredinside it must be worrying waiting for your appointment and then to have to wait for test results. You are doing amazing 24 days AF your liver will be getting the benefit of that.
@borrowbox I keep thinking the worlds gone to shit right now, and a few months ago I would have drown those thoughts out. But like you im resolved not to cave in as getting drunk never solved anything for me. Ive lost count of my days AF currently in bed with a cup of tea and the cat who seems to like me more these days.

That sounds lovely oneday I have just finished my lovely herbal tea and come to bed. Not sure if I have covid or not. Been feeling quite run down but negative lft. Can't really see how I can escape with my daughter all over me. She is like a little covid shadow at times

That must be so hard with the tests hanging over you brave Totally agree with you about the time I have gained from not planning for drinking all the time. What a waste of time it was, as well as money.

Hello, I hope everyone is as well as can be. Hugs, waiting for tests is not easy, but it’s got to be better to not be drinking ethanol
Im day 20or so. Had a slip up which juts reaffirmed that drinking is crap. And it means I can’t count actual days! There’s a reason not to slip up!
Like you all, I’d have guzzled loads to drown worry about the world. Hugs to everyone whatever you’re going through.

Morning all

Hello @Cleanbedlinen12 Lovely to see you, and please don't worry about a temporary setback. Have you got the app Try Dry? It counts all your sober days so you see the sober theme. Maybe download and see how well you have done overall? It also shows you calories/units/money saved which is very shocking.

Wanted to write more but the screen is playing up so just going to post

I had my test results today, although have to wait a week to discuss with the Doctor. Apparently one normal (not sure what) and the other borderline for triglycerides. Have no idea what that means really and Google didn't really help. Could be the alcohol, it may not. It doesn't look like he was investigating the fatigue, just the pain.

The fatigue is so extreme though, although because I have previously been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome he was fairly dismissive. I was hoping to see better results by now. I used to use the wine to self medicate but now just tired and no wine. I really can't face more decades like the last one.

Wow, what a downer Need to try and get in the garden for the last of the daylight I think. Too tired for a walk so that is the best I can manage.

I hope everyone is having a good day.

It was a month yesterday AF for me & it went by unnoticed which I'm pleased about. In the beginning I said I would just remember the date, 15th February. I counted days on previous AF attempts & it felt like a race. Now not drinking feels like a gente state of being. I hope you all are feeling stronger although it's not an upward trajectory is it? There are obstacles along the way. Should a blip occur we have the information to steer our way back from the grip & false allure of alcohol. Borrowbox I hope you are reassured when you get to hear what your results mean next week. My peas are sprouting, I love the signs of Spring.

Morning all, just feeling a bit down at the moment so not very chatty!

@Borrowbox Sounds like things are ok blood wise , I've had my triglycerides done and mine are raised, but from what I can remember they are to do with cholesterol.

Congratulations on your month original I like the idea of not counting days, just having a sense of where you are in the month. I will be 40 days tomorrow and think I might start just noting months now.

Sorry you are feeling low brave You have a lot going on so it makes sense. I was like it last week, just couldn't bring myself to write. Keep reading even if not up to writing.

Hope everyone has had a good day

Hello all, well,done borrowbox, sorry you are fatigued though, that’s hard. Doing a read rather than write atm too. Just very down like you bravefaceinside. Hope it passes soon, for both of us!

Thanks @Cleanbedlinen12 I am actually so much better today which is such a relief. Been a really productive day. There is a part of me feeling sad that I can't reward myself with wine, but the bigger part recognises that wouldn't really work.

Hope everyone is OK, sorry you are having hard times

Morning all, just checking in to say hello. Hope everyone is doing OK and the sunshine is helping. I am going for a walk soon, something I wouldn't have managed to week ago so really pleased.

Have a lovely weekend everyone

Isn't it a lovely day! I wonder how many of our friends who are still drinking are going about their business with sore heads and tummies?

I used to just hole up for the weekend if I wasn't going out, and drink my way through it. Tragic! Not going back there!

I loved the book - would you all recommend the second one? I am waking up earlier and feel I am sleeping so much better. My digestive system is great (trying to avoid TMI) and I have fewer spots.

I am eating chocolate and biscuits so haven't lost any weight, but one thing at a time eh?

Hello all! Super jealous and ashamed. It’s a beautiful day and yup. brightonbunny I have a sore head and feel lousy….Dh has been buying horrible sour ethanol again, and we are not getting on that well, so….which I KNOW is not going to help And I was REALLY enjoying being sober. Lesson to me, and reminder if anyone needs it, no, just don’t have a small one to keep someone company, because you are stressed/not stressed/cooking. It is NOT WORTh IT. I was too tight to buy alcohol explained ( we are rowing about money) very stupid economy!
Well done everyone. I am working on forgiving myself but learning the lesson ( again). This sucks. And I am an idiot, whatever I say. I can NOT moderate. No more at all. Sorry everyone. Don’t be me!

Hugs Cleanbedlinen yes, don't dwell on it, move forward & invest in the book. Emotional upsets were a big trigger for me, I'm learning to let it wash over me & remind myself not to do the damage to ME. AF is freedom but also scary because it's so unfamiliar. You can do this & the rewards are yours for the taking x

Oh gosh, thank you so much for that , theoriginalchetaline that’s exactly right, I am learning to let it wash over me. And yes, that’s scary but true, it IS unfamiliar to feel sober and energetic. Madness. Thank you very much. Just what I needed to hear, thank you I hope everyone is having a relaxing Sunday.

Did it! Hope everyone else did too. Hot milk and a good book and love and thanks to all.

Hello ladies can I join? Just read your thread and feel a mix of inspired and terrified...I think today could be the day but I've had this thought loads of times and thrown it away as soon as the evening begins - I seem to turn into someone else. My morning self is desperate to change but she's never enough....am thinking I need to stop living in secret and reach out to others. Am scared this will be just another failed day but have ordered the book

Evening everyone, and welcome @Lauren850 Of course you can join, and really hope it helps you. Glad you ordered the book. I wouldn't stress too much about the drinking now, as even the book says you can drink while reading. Obviously I am not saying you have to drink

Please don't worry @Cleanbedlinen12 How are you feeling today? I am sorry things are so tough.

Hope everyone else is having a good week. I have had a good (busy weekend), and already showered in pjs after a busy work day. Feeling good though.

S lovely to hear from you guys. I love checking in with you all each night! Thanks borrowbox, I think it’s tough for everyone. We are rowing about income ( not enough!) but today was lovely, sunny, and Dh took a rare day off so I hope we will get on better. Not guzzling alcohol definitely helps.
I hope you are ok. Glad to hear you had a good weekend and are now supnuggled!
lauren850 so nice of you to join us. I’ve never been in such a nice supportive thread and there are plenty on mn. For what it’s worth, in case it helps, I found the first few days I needed to change routine - and eat A LOT of crisps so I couldn’t fit any booze in! and then it got easier. But take my advice and don’t think you can handle a drink - you’ll only have to go through all the crap again. So not worth it! Enjoy the book😀

Found this
www.alcoholexplained.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/1st-5.pdf