The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

Morning all. Just checking in. Definitely feel better overall now AF but it's the repressed emotions that are tricky. However I feel like my life is now authentic and no longer pretend. I used to spend most of my time anxious and stressed and would calm down with a big glass of wine. Now I am so much more aware of my emotions and can't believe how I neglected and ignored my feelings previously. Self compassion is the way forward.

I've been reading an article about gaslighting ourselves which seems mad but I think I've been doing it. Not really trusting what I believe and want for a start. Talking negatively to myself and putting myself down . I'm trying so hard to live in the present rather than the past or the future. Reading The Power of Now.

Have a good day lovely gang.

That's weird I thought the last message was 7pmish last night but my refresh must have been stuck! Going back to read what I've missed. I've ordered a half price case of Kombucha to arrive tomorrow so looking forward to receiving that

Kombucha is from Hip Pop online with a code of BESTBOOCH for discount if anyone interested. I know some people make their own so that's impressive

Hope therapy goes ok @SavBbunny. @ChampooPapi look after yourself sounds like it's tough, hope online smart is useful

Afternoon all. Have done the therapy session. Useful I think. The clinician has experience of alcohol dependencies. Next one booked.

Checking in on Day 3. I’m so interested in the idea of gaslighting ourselves. I think I’ve been doing that for years. xx

Checking in on day 614. Got glasses for the first time today....bit like being drunk actually.

Evening all

Long tough day at work . Eating pizza now and drinking water . Feel drained!!!

Hello everyone, hello new posters. Congratulations to everyone taking pride in another day alcohol free especially at the beginning when the days feel so much longer.

I rode out another strange desire for a drink last night. It had just been a crazily busy day and the thought “well you could have a drink” just popped up out of nowhere. I took a moment to consider what might have triggered it, recognised how hard my day was, cut myself a bit of slack and the desire went away again.

Collected our new car today! I think the anxiety over the bank transfer paying for it was at least one of my triggers yesterday. Because obviously, a gin and tonic would really fix a process that was completely outside my control… It does make me realise that I must have had some really odd justifications for drinking over the decades.

Someone wrote upthread that their husband could take or leave a drink and could go a month drinking three times. I really wish I was like that. The sad thing is I used to be. I usedn’t crave alcohol and I used to be able to not drink for a stretch of time. Annoying how the dependency creeps up! Good to be on this thread! X

Evening everyone. Glad you are doing a bit better @Kindtomyself. I totally try the living in the minute thing too. The mindfulness coach sessions at work have got me trying that and it works quite well. @SavBbunny. I listen to Woman’s Hour whenever I can so super exciting you are going to be on it! I was going to ask you to share the date but you might not want to do that on an anonymous forum of course! Well done you anyway. Your thesis must be pretty darn good!
Was leaving supermarket tonight with weekly trollyfull of healthy food (this bloody diet!) . A guy skipped past me, pizza in one hand, bottle of wine in the other, that was it. Made me feel a bit wistful for a minute. But hay ho it passed….sort of…and on we go! Stay strong folks.

Hallo. Coming late to this - on January 20th I just thought I don't want to drink any more. This came after years of trying to moderate. I was in complete denial about the impact and I feel quite ashamed. I was often too tired/ hungover in the morning to properly get up and see my kids off to school. Just before I gave up there were a couple of times when I would have a large glass of wine if I was out with the kids and still drive knowing that I wasn't quite safe to do so.

Anyway something just clicked. I've been listening to Podcasts and reading all the quit lit I can.

I feel very very tired and flat but yesterday I looked in the mirror and my face looks different - I hadn't realised it was bloated but I can see my cheekbones so that was a bit of a lift.

I'm a longstanding mumsnetter but have never ventured here before. So glad you are all here!

@Blackberryblossom it’s those “out of the blue” thoughts that we have to be ready for . Years of setting patterns in our brains doesn’t just go overnight . We have to learn to recognise and deal with it differently . It will never stop but we can learn to respond in a healthier way

@sunshineforest welcome . My thoughts on moderation are well documented! Keep posting x

In work but not snowed under yet ! Hoping for an easier day .

Whaaaat I somehow missed @SavBbunny is going to be on women’s hour to talk about her PhD!!! How awesome is that!!! Go smash it @Sav!

You are so right adm. The wine witch is still occasionally calling. But I know I can say no now.
I have caught my husband's cold, which might also explain why the last couple of days felt like such hard work. He's on the mend now and dd's school year is closed because of covid so I have gone back to bed. With a cup of tea that doesn't taste right. Inspired by kind and everyone else who's mentioned it, I'm going to find some kombucha online.

I think I need to get on the kombucha band waggon

Good morning all,

Day 1, I am afraid. Horrendous situation with DC yesterday afternoon. They have gender issues and SEMH. Went to view a college and DC became militant.
Drank the poison and ate a curry so hot I needed milk.
Headache and disappointed in myself. Comfort of own home so not shamed.
DH kept well back (probably locked up the barcardi but I put myself to bed).
We get back on the wagon.
Sorry all.

@SavBbunny it happens . It’s a blip not a lapse . Up to you how you carry on counting but I ignored my blip in December . Don’t be hard on yourself today .

Hello my darlings, I've been largely awol in January because work has been crackers, but I've stayed AF! Did anyone else get slightly disproportionately annoyed at people doing dry Jan? I know I abvvvvu but this is a safe space to vent honestly, so I shall. Obviously I should be delighted that other people use that month to look at their relationship with alcohol and cut down, so why did it give me the rage? So many people posting on social media virtuously ( some saying things like "this is so easy? Don't know what the fuss is all about".) Will you just shut your trap already??? 🤣😂 It must be easy when you know you're going to be busting open the booze at 00.01 on 1st Feb, you flipping dickhead. Aaaaand breeathe!

Hope everyone is well- big love to all and I'll try to check in more often and take part more. My birthday is at the end of this month and I've not had a fully sober one since I was 14. Even when I was pregnant I had a small glass on my bday! So this will be interesting!

@Adm1010

Thank you.
Bloody stupid thing to do when I turned down champagne the day before.

I have a day off today so will take my time.
@BunniesBunniesBunnies
Not on woman's hour yet. It was a comment from my editor. I don't start the PhD until October. It is a controversial question about the industry I work in and challenges the impact of male leadership. Hence by the time it is published I need to be retired otherwise I will be seen as a man hating harpie!
Would be great to be a sober one 😀

@CardinalCat welcome back and yes, I hear you about dry January . Thought it was just me!!

@SavBbunny a sober harpie has tickled me

@SavBbunny dust yourself off, it was just a small blip and you’ve done amazingly. Think about what happened, your triggers and how you could respond differently next time, then put it behind you. When I enter the “danger zone” (as indeed I did last night - bad argument with my OH) I just swiftly put myself to bed so I can’t do any damage!!! So exciting about your PhD!!!

@CardinalCat rant away about Dry January😂😂😂 And well done for staying AF!

@SavBbunny It's a blip. Just chalk it up. If it helps, on OYNB you decide whether to start counting again after an isolated blip, or just ignore that day and carry on, depending on how your psychology works. Some people find it too disheartening to start over and spiral into a "well I may as well go on a week long binge before I start again" mindset, whereas some people find the concept of trying to "beat the streak" really motivating. Anyway, I sympathise with the DC dramas- it sounds like a tricky situation. One of my (preteen) DC really pushes my buttons. He's basically a good kid but we are very different people and just clash. My other DC is objectively more challenging, but because she's a mini-me I find it easier to understand why she's being how she's being.

@CardinalCat Your rant made me LOL. That said, I did find having the Dry Janners for company quite helpful and I feel you get a free social pass for Dry Jan with no pressure or enabling. But yeah, the people that normally just have one glass of wine at Christmas and then do Dry Jan can do one

I just found out the party I am going to on Saturday is literally a wine tasting - as in a sommelier is coming in to do a proper one with all his wines. I think I'm going to have to do the "fake sip/ plant pot" technique. Fortunately it's reds which I don't really like anyway. Or I could just say I'm pregnant I suppose [ grin].

@PrisonerofZeroCovid

Thank you, I might say 28 days Saturday and chalk it up to a blip. I have some evil relatives and if I say I fell off the wagon I will get abused (none of them can manage the booze but they like to judge). Family of lashers and scoffers!
I think I also felt a bit odd after therapy. My late mother was super clever and very beautiful. A lot to live up to. Made me feel like crap frequently.
Funny how a lot of us started boozing at 14. St Marion the same.

@PrisonerofZeroCovid could you tell them that you’re not drinking alcohol for medical reasons and say that you’re very much looking forward to sampling their alcohol-free selection?

@SavBbunny - it’s a blip and you can and will come back stronger. It’s like Adm said upthread, we are still learning how to respond to things differently.

@CardinalCat that made me smile! I can’t imagine ever finding Dry Jan easy, I suppose maybe if drinking isn’t such a habit to begin with. I do like that it brings AF into the mainstream though, and that it results in a broader choice of AF drinks over time. The thing that did really wind me up is that my local Lidl was absolutely rammed with Veganuary products and promotions but not a whisper of an AF promotion.