Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite glad to hear you're feeling better! I don't need to wish you luck, I know you've got this. Imagine waking up tomorrow with your first hangover since December. If you do slip though, you know I've got your back as you've had mine. We're all struggling here in many different ways, but the struggle is definitely easier with a friend ❤

@easterdaffsx thank you for complimenting the garden! It was fun. I'm sorry you're having a hard time at the minute you're already doing amazingly well.

Morning all. Sorry to hear you had a rubbish week @Easterdaffsx I did the same and the drinking doesn't make things better but it's almost an easy option to unwind. Loving the mini garden @Haveatakeaway !! I need something to keep me occupied in the evenings. Had a panic attack last time I went to the gym so I've been avoiding it.
I quite fancy drumming @teaandtoastwithmarmite but I think the family might have other ideas. Going to do some baking today. I used to bake a lot but stopped in an effort to lose weight.

@Bizzywater bakings a great idea! I'm eating all the food at the minute, if I gain weight so be it but I'll be fat and sober not fat and drunk 😂
It's my boys birthday today and I am seriously stressed out by the sensory box I got him. Still haven't had replacement Hoover delivered. Tiny foam balls, shredded paper and kinetic sand EVERYWHERE 😖 I am sitting back and letting them crack on and will clean up later, they're having fun at least
Were going to the range later (please don't choose more kinetic sand!) and a drive through McDonald's, I haven't had one for ages and I can't wait!

How was your night @teaandtoastwithmarmite?

I am ashamed but for once not drink related 😂 overdid the McDonald's trip, our nearest ones about 12 miles away so we hardly ever go. I think I'm actually having some sort of sugar rush. I had 9 nuggets, large fries, medium coke, a cheeseburger, 2 x sweet curry dip and a mcflurry
Have you baked anything @Bizzywater? I could probably manage something else in an hour 😂

Haha no I didn't, just made a nicer dinner. Tidied the garden and kept busy

Hi ladies. It was good thanks @Haveatakeaway. I had a moment when everyone around me seemed to be drunk and I fancied a beer but DH was really supportive and asked me how I'd feel after. I also had to get DD back to the hotel as he was going out after the party so it soon passed. We went to a luxury hotel for the night on our own last night and we were given a complimentary bottle of champagne. Was tempted but didn't drink it. Brought it home to pass on to someone. My sis in law said she thought I'd done brilliantly and said as much as she loves me I'm an idiot when I drink
So I'm feeling good

Glad you enjoyed your McDonald's and good to hear you're busy as well @Bizzywater
I'm so pleased for this thread

Sorry @Bizzywater in reply to your drums comment I have electronic ones with headphones

That's amazing @teaandtoastwithmarmite! So many temptations there for you. Are you 100 days yet? It must be close? Before December had you ever tried to moderate out quit before? Your will power is really inspiring and motivating. What kinda of music do you like?

@Bizzywater keeping busys good. Any plans for today? I think we're forecast rain here so might give the charity bookshop a go.

How are you doing @Easterdaffsx?

Happy sober Tuesday everyone

Morning
Was away until last night so Day 1 for me here . Lots of water /Annie Grace on the way to work and starting Fast 800 4:3 today .... Sounds like a recipe to fail but being AF helps me not eat rubbish too !

@Easterdaffsx I'm loving your positive attitude 💪 were all figuring out what triggers us and what doesnt. Let me know about the diet, I know tonnes of people doing it.

I've found two of my triggers and they are really annoying. One is putting on makeup, muscle memory perhaps from getting ready to go out? But I would like to look a little less unkempt so perhaps I'll try it today. Another is certain music and I love music, think I may have to either find some new artists or buy more autobiographies of the band's I like as 99% of the band's I love have struggled with different addictions.

Thanks @Haveatakeaway it's day 107 today. I've tried giving up before but always told myself I can learn to control it. And I'd say 50% of the time I can but I don't drink that often so when I do I binge and that's where the blackouts and anxiety come from. I mean I can go to the pub for Sunday lunch or whatever and have one but I can't cope with the worry anymore.

@Easterdaffsx you are sounding very determined and that's very inspiring
@Haveatakeaway you also sound very determined and positive, I love it!
Re music I love anything from rock, indie to dance and drum and bass. How about you?

Ooh I love tonnes, some faves are zeppelin, black sabbath, rhcp's, muse, Free, Bad Company, The beatles, Hendrix, Queen, the eagles, queens of the stoneage, Chris cornell, Joe Bonamassa, nirvana etc.

Here's a thought for the evening.

Recently I was working with a client on the subject of "falling off the wagon"

She asked me: "Why do I keep falling off the wagon? Why do I keep sabotaging myself?"

My reply was "because you haven't made the commitment to be as uncomfortable as you need in to be in order to be successful."

This is tough reading for some. But sometimes tough love is required. You wouldn't let a teenager lounge around all day and not go to school. You wouldn't give in to a toddler every time they scream for sweets at the checkout. So you need to be willing to feel uncomfortable and not drink when you want to.

Because it won't feel great. When you manage to feel your way through an urge you'll be left with all the other emotions you've been drinking over - the anxiety, the boredom, the sadness... but you are capable of doing this.

You can handle all these emotions and not feel the need to drink. You just need to get used to doing it. It does get easier I promise.

If you're wavering you can do it. And if you're not wavering you can do it too!! xx

Thanks @brightspice your posts are always really helpful.
How's everyone doing? We've been rock painting and reading most of the day and having a roast shortly. I feel nicely content.

@Haveatakeaway

Evening all, just checking in. Felt strange today, anxious and didn't sleep well last night when my sleeps improved so much, I've been sleeping 9-5am normally and enjoying a quiet cuppa before the kids wake up. Dropped off last night after 3 and up at 7. Oh well 😂
Dh went and finally paid our last bar tab off after I asked him for ages, so now I have zero ties to any pub, wahoo!

@brightspice that's very true.

I was cutting down and trying moderation but over the last few weeks my drinking has crept up again, because I'm stressed and frustrated and unhappy with myself - and then it's a vicious circle. So I'm at the end of a new Day 1. Went out for a meal and had fancy lemonade and I feel a billion times better. Drove home, saved money on booze and taxis and I know I'll feel good in the morning. I've got friends coming on Easter Sunday for food and we tend to drink a lot when we get together. I need to be ok with saying no and not worrying that I'm boring

@bizzywater it's tough. I struggled yesterday. I didn't want to drink but my family started the Easter celebrations early and I felt really edgy and almost vulnerable. Hence I'm wide awake now as I had 2 cans of cold coke out of the fridge and slunk off to bed at 8.30 but I stayed with the uncomfortable feelings, had plans ready, a film with the kids or a long bath, i had a massive early tea. The worst of my anxiousness had gone within about an hour, and that's pretty good going for me. Is it bad that I hope they're all hungover today so they won't want to drink later?

This weekend is going to be tough I think for a lot. Oh well, can't change it, accept it. I've previously gone out at Easter, never ends well. One year a broken ankle from a drunk fall, another year being carried to someone's house and driven home because I was so pissed. Oh the shame!! Well, that's really put me off now.
Ooh I was brave earlier aswell, haven't turned my phone on for 20 days after I got so drunk and I was so scared incase loads of people had messaged me saying I was a dick. There was nothing, just a friend asking me to watch her play (sorry, I've missed it now 😣😂).
I'm gonna get up now I think, my backs hurting lying here. Time for a cup of decaf. If I make it through today (I will) I'll be 21 days sober.

Those damn party animals! 😂 Just sent my mother to bed, she fell asleep on the toilet a while ago and my dh and dad have drunk two thirds of a bottle of vodka, luckily they were already in bed

Bloody hell, now husband's just come down. Leave me in peace people! 😂 made himself a ham and mustard sandwich, told me 'John Denver's full of shit man' and wobbled back off to bed, declaring he went to bed really early and isn't drunk (I didn't even ask, no judgment from me, ever, when it comes to drink) maybe it's subconscious because he always asks for whatever book im reading after I've finished and the last three have been quit lit 😂
This could be a long weekend.

I've had an awful day but I haven't had an drink. Go me!

Oh no @Bizzywater sorry to hear that. Definitely go you for not drinking. Well done!!

Evening. How is everyone doing?