Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

I've had a few beers tonight. Annoyed at myself :(

@MinnieJackson it's quite embarrassing when I see the amount that I was spending- and I was completely oblivious because it was part of the household shop!

@youboozeyoulose maybe try writing down how you feel, what the triggers were and sticking them somewhere they'll remind you?

@youboozeyoulose I think we've all been there, and I definitely have. Don't beat yourself up. Have you learned anything from it? I think writing things down is a great idea. I am thinking of delving into my monstrous back catalogue of drunken faux pas and writing down each one (may take a while). It's going to be mortifying and painful, but I'm hoping it will help me long term and help me identify triggers. Our secrets keep us sick as they say.

How did you do with the wine @CheesePlantMurderer?

Happy sober Wednesday everyone

@MinnieJackson I abstained and I feel fantastic for doing two evenings now. I downloaded the Try Dry app as recommended as tracking savings in financial and calorific values will motivate me too.

Been and done a gym session this morning then stocked up on healthy food and sparkling water. Have also talked my self into some extra work on a project that will be full on until the end of March, outside working hours, so ideal right now to keep me occupied- the sofa may have to wait 😁
How did you do?

That's awesome @CheesePlantMurderer! Another dry day done ✔ well done on the gym and shop already. I've got two kids off school poorly so I'm still in my pjamas

Hi everyone. Happy sober Wednesday all. I didn't actually get drunk last night, I had about two pints over several hours, and I feel OK today. So that is an improvement but my aim is to drink nothing during the week.

I'm going out with my running club tonight, so I'm on track for a sober one tonight. Well done on the gym session @CheesePlantMurderer

I decided I needed a hobby for my hands so learning to play the drums. I'm loving it and hoping to get an electric kit second hand.
I went to the pub last night for book group and the conversation turned to work parties and the drunk ones and when the same person often gets in a state and it reinforced the feeling I don't want to be that person. I'm not always that person but probably 8 out of 10 times I am

@Bizzywater glad not just me
@brightspice that's a good idea and a good way of looking at it. I'm not even going to say anything about not drinking as most of the time people don't really notice. At least it won't be me in a state

@teaandtoastwithmarmite something to focus on definitely helps. I'm out this evening, not social so no booze, but will have to be strong when I get in as it's a trigger to come home and need a drink...

@CheesePlantMurderer you can do it. Just get in and go brush your teeth or something. I know it's hard though but think how you'll feel tomorrow.

Gah a craving. Not going to drink but I can't identify the trigger here. I'm On day 6 so maybe it's the length of time? I've just had to tell my Dh I can't go to the park with him and one of our kids. I said it's because I didn't want to, but it's because it's practically opposite our local and I can tell you exactly what the outcome of this trip would be. How pathetic. So to sum up, do I want a drink? Yes. Why? I don't know. Am I going to drink and ruin my mental health further? Fuck no.

@MinnieJackson great job avoiding it though!! I'm craving like crazy! In the past I've found day 3 a challenge, no idea why...!

@teaandtoastwithmarmite great idea I'm home around 845, not late. I can make tea and slope off straight to bed, pamper my tired, dehydrated face and read...I WILL do this.

@CheesePlantMurderer you can and before you know it the craving will go. You won't always have to do this.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite I just wanted to say how brilliant I think you're doing! When did your sugar cravings pass? Mine have come on today, just had one of those Cadbury nutty bars, my God I could eat ten! I moaned it was £1.20, don't complain paying over three times that for a pint though!

I've had wine this evening. I had a rubbish day and I purposely went out and bought it so I have no excuse. I'm counting down to annual leave and my heart is hurting with anxiety and stress. I'd already been to the gym, I'm trying not to buy things when I feel low... so I went out and got milk ...and wine.

I don't know how I feel about it. Disappointed I guess. It's one night so that seems ok. But what if it's not .

@MinnieJackson the trigger will be something you thought. It's important to catch it if you can (so you can spot it at a hundred paces in future). Did the craving come before or after you decided not to go to the park?

@Bizzywater don't beat yourself up, tomorrow just start again. I am still tempted to TRY reduction but abstention. But not sure for me it would work! I'm surrounded by shops that sell alcohol at all hours so it's very easy to take a 1 minute stroll if I'm in the mood, which is what I'm trying to crack

@Bizzywater it was weird. Kind of like one of those days where you've got drinking on the brain constantly, even thinking bad thoughts about it. So I was definitely thinking about it before the park was mentioned but I knew we'd go to the pub. My dh did go after and had one pint of Guinness. So I was right, we would have done.

Oops sorry meant to tag @brightspice. How long did it take you to learn your triggers? To be honest as cravings go it was over much faster than previously which I think is good. Also as soon as I got the craving I told my mum, and she said she was very proud of me, and have I been feeling better without drinking? I told her that 'well, I don't want to die so I suppose so ' and we just cracked up.

@MinnieJackson

@teaandtoastwithmarmite I just wanted to say how brilliant I think you're doing! When did your sugar cravings pass? Mine have come on today, just had one of those Cadbury nutty bars, my God I could eat ten! I moaned it was £1.20, don't complain paying over three times that for a pint though!

Thank you so much, that really means a lot. I'm not sure I've had any. Well I often fancy chocolate anyway but nothing more than normal. I must admit to being in the car today and just zoning out and thinking to myself I can never have a pint again. Then it passed. My mum in law bought me a bottle of Baileys for Xmas and I really don't want it

Do you used to like baileys? @teaandtoastwithmarmite

I feel horrible this morning, really paranoid and anxious like being hungover, it's horrible. Why is this happening? I feel real self-loathing as well that had been getting better. Like I want to apologise for existing. 7 days tomorrow.

Happy sober Thursday everyone

Morning all and here's to a sober Thursday 👍🏻

@MinnieJackson such a horrible feeling, I hope it soon passes, do you have any nice plans today to make you feel better?

I've done the gym, made healthy lunch as a busy work day, but it's sunny and bright so after this mornings calls I'm going to go out for a walk for half an hour and keep my motivation going to not drink!

Weight loss is a big factor in abstaining for me as I've put on 8kg since May and mostly wine as I don't have a huge appetite or eat badly.

@MinnieJackson yes but only the odd glass. I used to buy a bottle at Christmas and it would last all year. I have the Aldi version of disaronno my friend bought me last April which I haven't opened. It's hard to think I won't just have the odd one but rather that than risk having several iykwim.
I had the self loathing horrible feelings for weeks. It will pass.