The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies wise words as always.

@Adm1010 well done on your milestone.

@ChampooPapi all the best for this evening

There is obviously plenty of thinking and reevaluating going on for many of us and while it may not make issues go away it does help to air them and see them in different perspectives.

Checking in and throwing virtual hugs to anyone who wants one.

Congrats @Adm1010 - huge achievement well done.

@ChampooPapi do report back again on AA and good luck for tonight. There's a lot to be said for being accountable IRL too.

Enjoying hangover free January mornings very much. Great way to start the new year. Bath and book tonight, with a bit of home/life admin thrown in.

I've taken the new year to finally start delegating some house chores to DH. All this sobriety and reflection has made me realise the imbalances in our relationship and it's time to address it before it eats away at me any more. So his turn to plan and order the weekly food shop while I focus on other long neglected aspects of home life.

Enjoy your evening everyone

@indiesearcher 👍 what a good idea to start the year this way

Thanks for sharing @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I guess marital ups and downs are more common than we realise sometimes and most long term relationships have dodgy spells. It’s helpful to hear what others have done to fix things. I’m pleased that you have greatly improved your marriage-result! ❤️
@indiesearcher. that’s a good idea for the New Year -start as you mean (him) to go on!
I’m recoiling in horror at the shock discovery our schools go back tomorrow and not Thursday as I’d thought! Thank goodness I finally checked up on it…away to check packed-lunch situation. I may have failed at mum-of-the-year 2022 on the first hurdle….lol

@doorornottodoor that's a good suggestion had not thought of counseling as a couple. It could be an idea x

@Kindtomyself @excitedemmi yes, the thing is, he doesn't fancy living in the UK says it's too cold and glum. The other thing is, let's say he gave up his job and we moved, it would be a lot of responsibility on my shoulders to make it work out, he would be very reliant on me - what if I can't deliver... I don't have the best track record of things working out for me.
I have been to sees psychiatrist, things got really bad a few years ago, she put me on antidepressants. She did that peace and contentment comes from inside a person and not the outside environment, which, I sort of get the point but ...I think that is taking a bit of an over simplistic view

@iamyourequal he does care but I don't think he feels he can do much about it, he does do his best to make me feel comfortable here and comes up with things to look forward tolike excursions and holidays, but sometimes I get the feeling that he feels like it's a personality flaw or a mental health issue, he doesn't think I'd be happy anywhere.

Thanks everyone, checking in 🙌

It was a lot more fanatical and religious this time 😬.

But there is also one on a Monday night so going to try that one out next week. Onwards and upwards

@ChampooPapi

Thanks everyone, checking in 🙌

It was a lot more fanatical and religious this time 😬.

But there is also one on a Monday night so going to try that one out next week. Onwards and upwards

👏 @ChampooPapi

Morning all. 4 months today since I decided to stop the alcohol. I have had a blip since then however I can say without a doubt that my life has changed for the better. My general approach to life is so much more...present. I'm feeling things a lot more deeply and have a lot that I now need to deal with but I feel better equipped to face them.

Good on you @ChampooPapi even if it wasn't quite what you were looking for.
@Touty I know what you mean- that's quite a responsibility for you to take on. I've had similar considerations but not as big.

Morning all !

Tree and decs down today . I’m finding January generally glum as do a lot of people and I’m finding it hard not to drink to “ stop the glum “ My naughty brain is trying to trick me!!

@Kindtomyself well done on four months!
@ChampooPapi well done on another meeting. The religious aspect would put me off though the thought of “radical sobriety” made me chuckle”😂
@Touty although I agree to an extent that happiness comes from within, I also think this is overly simplistic. I would struggle to be happy if I wasn’t happy where I lived. Lots to unpick there.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies yes the women only group was a lot less radical, few hippie Buddhists there as well, you know that kind of layed back 'you can be whatever you want here' attitude. And a lot more focussed on meditation or mindful was then prayer and a higher power

@Kindtomyself you should be so proud of yourself, it made me so enthused seeing your update. We both had our lapses at a similar time and it's just so positive to see you so positive and me cracking on with the booze free life.

Love this thread! 💜

Happy Wednesday all 🥰

I’m also happy to report a new highlight of my sobriety, 20 months in😅

My skin normally REALLY suffers in January with dry red patched and spots (WTF, I’m middle aged🤬). Last year wasn’t as bad but still not great. This year for the first time in a decade my skin looks okay in January!

The lack of booze is helping for sure but I’m also now drinking much more water and taking multivits.

It probably sounds like a small thing (and very vain😬) but my painful blotchy skin used to get me down so much (not enough to stop drinking though😬). I nice to (literally!) feel good in my own skin!

@ChampooPapi the women’s only group does sound nicer. I also think women and men often have quite different reasons (not always) for drinking to excess so you may feel more at home in a women’s group anyway. Will you keep going to that one?

@BunniesBunniesBunnies well done !!! Inspiring x

I also think women and men often have quite different reasons (not always) for drinking to excess.

I think this is true and possibly why I find female "quit lit" far more relatable. I also think women's experiences while drinking are very different. In "Blackout", she says something like "Drunk men do things to the world while drunk women have things done to them". While that is a generalisation (drunk women can also be assholes) I think there's something in it. I find a lot of the male quit lit either shouty or "I was super successful and good looking and had a perfect life but I also drank a lot of wine and now I don't so I'm even more successful and good looking. Be like me." .

Bad day here. I haven't drunk but I've been really tempted. We are basically back in lockdown as the government is pursuing a zero covid policy. Schools are still open but it's just a matter of time. Just want to fall face first into a bucket of rosé. Haven't. Had dinner and just going to brush my teeth and read in bed. Last gym class in who knows how long tomorrow at 6am.

Fantastic bunnies Well done on your 20 months done and dusted!!

And adm101 on 4 months.

And everyone on resisting the pull whatever it is or whenever it hits.

champoopapi I really applaud you trying the meetings, keep going and you'll surely find the one that's the right fit.

To add in the conversation about relationships, it does really change things and when one has made the decision to stop drinking and one not, or both have decided to do it together, it shifts something. Especially when you are each other's drinking buddies.

It can show the cracks that have been drowned out with booze and I think it takes work to deal with them in a different way. I know that dh and I used to have some humdingers of arguments when we were pissed. It's so easy to think we were drinking buddies , we met clubbing and were pissed and more a lot of the time. Even a non drinking friend asked dh if it was good to have his drinking buddy back when I went back to drinking after a period of abstinence!!

But, I definitely think our relationship is stronger now I'm not drinking and he's drinking less.

Yes, we had lots of fun drinking times, dancing, being silly but if I truly take of the rose tinted glasses we also fell out a lot and when we did they were much more likely to explode. Everything feels on a more even keel.

BUT...it did take time to readjust to our new way. Communication is key. I used to always say that if dh and I were to separate it would be (from my point of view) due to his lack of communication. We had a really rocky patch about 5 or 6 years ago and he got it! If it didn't change I was out. He has a major shift and now talks about things. We have a much more healthy communication and connection but it wasn't fun to go through at the time. I do think it has made a massive shift in our relationship, me not drinking. But then it's been a massive shift in my relationship with myself so ut figures that my relationship with people around me would change too. I feel all my relationships are better because I am happier with myself now I'm not drinking.

Oh my goodness I have just typed a huge post on my phone and lost the whole bloody thing when the advert on the app refreshed- I never learn! A big hello to all and thanks for all posting useful/ uplifting advice, (especially about relationships @Breathmiller).

@iamyourequal

Oh my goodness I have just typed a huge post on my phone and lost the whole bloody thing when the advert on the app refreshed- I never learn! A big hello to all and thanks for all posting useful/ uplifting advice, (especially about relationships *@Breathmiller*).

I hate it when that happens!! Hope you are okay? 👍

I’m fine thank you @AlloftheTime and hope you are too? Back to work tomorrow unfortunately. I have spent a pleasant evening eating as much chocolate as possible , as I might join a diet club tomorrow night….although I still have half a Christmas cake left too. I’m pleased to report I successfully completed the mission to dispose of cheeseboard and cheesecake yesterday. Real progress of sorts being made here…from one damn vice to another

Well done @BunniesBunniesBunnies on 20 months and glowing skin! And @Kindtomyself at 4 months. I gave up 4 months ago too. We are getting there. Night all, I was going to try and redo my lost thread from earlier but bed is calling.

4 months is so good. For some reason I thought you had been on here much longer than that Iamyourequal

Oh it’s not actually 20 months for me today, I just meant I still notice improvements and changes even 20 months in. But I will happily take any congratulations😂😂😂

I’m still feasting (if that’s what you meant by “dispose”😂) on Christmas cheese as well🤩🧀