The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Adm1010 aw I'm sorry that happened you must be feeling like crap. Be very kind to yourself today. I think if lapses happen it is part of the process and we can learn from it and start again.

I can relate to that feeling which builds to the dangerous 'fuck it' moment. Reasons for this can be complex to fathom.

Oh adm101. I'm so sorry to hear that this happened for you. You are going to feel physically and emotionally rotten today so today is not the day to do anything other than get through.
I know its hard not to berate ourselves when we fall off the wagon but I want you to turn that round today and be loving and compassionate to yourself.

This is not easy. If it was easy we wouldn't have self help books, groups and these threads.

You did a whopping 98 days. And I know you have done longer periods of time before.

When you feel stronger and better (and you will feel stronger and better again) then that's the time to look at the triggers, see what you can put in place to help it not happen the next time these same triggers come up.

But today I am sending you a gentle hug, a warm or cool hand depending on what's needed on your forehead and lots of love and compassion to you until you feel you can give yourself some too.

You can move on from this. And that is shown by you coming back on here straight away.

I hope today isn't too hard for you. Remember you will have the chemical reaction going on in your body so be extra gentle with yourself.

So, rest as much as you can today and then onwards amd upwards my friend.

Oh @Adm1010 I really feel for you that sounds so difficult. I hope you’re not feeling to horrendous today.

I don’t really have any words of wisdom for you but I wanted to sympathise with you, I know exactly what you did and why, this used to happen with me all the time when I tried to quit cigarettes. I would be doing really well, then I would have a difficult few days (like you say, stressed and arguments with husband etc.) and then I would reach a point where I knew EXACTLY what I was going to do - walk about, but a pack of ciggies and smoke them all. I would feel so disappointed and also ill from overindulging. This happened to me quite a few times whilst quitting. Some things helped:

1. Developing other coping mechanisms for those really difficult moments
2. time! The longer I didn’t smoke for, the weaker that association became between cigarettes and stress relief. Now when I feel really stressed I no longer get that immediate urge to walk out and smoke.

Be kind to yourself. You’ve done 98 days, you can do that again and more. I bet (I might be wrong?!) it was actually really unpleasant drinking those two bottles and then of course being sick afterwards. So hold on to that feeling (of how horrible the whole experience was). That will help too because then the next time you feel like shite you will ask yourself - Do I REALLY want to make myself feel even shitter by drinking? This may take a few times/slip ups (I know it did for me with smoking), but everytime we slip up we learn something about ourselves.

Try to speak to your husband also. Resolving some of my relationship issues has really helped with knocking the smoking on the head.

Anyway, I just wanted to send you a massive hug. Hang in there. You are awesome. Christmas is just around the corner and there is no reason why you can’t enjoy it sober.

I know the money worries must be really hard this time of year but try not to worry, the kids won’t mind or notice it. They just want quality time with their family. (We never spend much on Christmas and they really don’t notice - though my kids are quite young so I appreciate it might be different as they get older).

Big hug. Dust yourself off. You’ve got this!

Thankyou so much all these words are really helping xx

I’m very teary but I’ve made myself take a shower and put a bit of make up on and I’m just eating some scrambled egg now .

One step at a time today and the blip will NOT turn into a lapse .

Day 1

Great attitude @Adm1010, you can do it.
Don’t expect too much from yourself today.
Keep going.

Hi @Adm1010. I’m so sorry you’ve had a slip. You are doing the best thing getting right back at it. We are all here for you and you have been such a good support to others on here. I know you will be feeling crap today. I think the best way to look at it is as a learning opportunity. Keep a copy of your post for today and look at if any time you feel things slipping again. It’s really tough when relationships at home are tense. It’s totally understandable to get those ‘feck it’ moments when we think we are being rebellious and our own boss but it’s just self sabotage we regret later. Be kind to yourself today. It’s out your system now, move on. You can do this.

@Adm1010 I came on to report that I had a major fall from grace this past weekend. So this is my day one. I am so sorry for the way you feel, you did so well writing that all out as well,I was crying reading it myself because I too feel very upset and horrible.

Day one and this time I think I've hit a rock bottom. It was so bad but I know it's over for me and alcohol for certain. The never say never thing is over. Whatever happens moving forward I do not drink alcohol any more and I'm going to be telling people this now. Rather then, oh I'm having 6 months break ect ect.

I'm done and this time I need to step up the support. When I did smart recovery my first attempt I did get to nearly 100 days. I stopped doing it half way through and now I see that I do need something else to support other then this amazing thread and my husband.

I told two friends I was supposed to meet for drinks next week (mine would have been af) that I can't meet them. That I have given up drinking and I had a horrible relaps binge this weekend. I will recover and then meet them in the day for tea in the new year.

So day one, to mark the date on here but I won't be counting this time. I just do not drink anymore and this is my new normal

Thankyou

I genuinely feel like I’ve took a battering today . Emotionally and physically . My husband is very upset as well which is hurting me too .

But I know it will pass . Going to have a quiet day and hope tomorrow is better

Cross post @ChampooPapi we start again together . We have got this . I’m sorry you feel terrible as well . We can get through this day and tomorrow will be brighter xxx

@Adm1010
Thinking of you today and how bloody brave you are to stay here and not quit. You're already back on the horse. Great words from @BunniesBunniesBunnies ,@Breathmiller
Every day from today will get easier and you'll feel better and better - one of my favourite quotes 'we can't change the past but we can learn from it'.

@Adm1010 be super kind to yourself today. But please don't beat yourself up, you are human, and we make mistakes, that's an innate part of being a human being. Keep posting if it helps. I'm only on day 8, so early days for me, but at this time of year there's temptation everywhere!

Also sending big hugs to @ChampooPapi.
It sounds like you have reached the place I reached when I realised I needed to quit. I just knew I couldn’t go back to alcohol anymore. I’m not sure if I believe in rock bottom, or if I was at rock bottom, but I was in a horrendous place mentally and physically and I just knew I couldn’t go on like that. Something clicked I guess.

I’m sorry your husband is upset with you @Adm1010. I’ve been there many times too and it’s so painful to watch my partner suffer due to my dumb decisions. Since I quit drinking our relationship is sooo much better. Many times better than it ever was, even better than before children. I hated the partner I was when I was drinking, whereas now I often think my partner is lucky to have me😝 You can get there too, but you need to do this FOR YOU. Not for anyone else. Once you are happy and looking after yourself, everything else will improve too. It’s time to look after yourself and put yourself first! (Sounds counterintuitive but it’s true).

Just keep going x

Thankyou all again for all the kind and supportive words it’s honestly helping to know I’m not alone . X

@BunniesBunniesBunnies something has clicked and I'm no longer scared of a future without alcohol. I'm scared on one with alcohol in it. Thank you for your support, I'm going to an in-person smart meeting friday

something has clicked and I'm no longer scared of a future without alcohol. I'm scared on one with alcohol in it @champoopapi in just a few brilliant words you have captured exactly why I want to stay alcohol-free. I'm so sorry that you and @adm1010 have had a rough time. Can't really add any more to the wise words above, but know that there are undoubtedly plenty more of us all thinking of you and wishing you well

something has clicked and I'm no longer scared of a future without alcohol. I'm scared on one with alcohol in it

This is amazing. I have had that turnaround of thinking too but have never seen it put so succinctly.

Well done champoopapi

I hope you get a lot out of your meeting today.

On Day 2. A newbie! Really looking forward to the Christmas season (and rest of life) without alcohol. I no longer want it to have any importance in my life. It has had a hold over me for too long.

Hello Excitedemmi and everyone else who is new. December 2020 was my first entirely dry month and I was so thrilled to manage it. The support from this series of threads was key - I’d not even done a week without drinking in years, apart from when pregnant or on meds. It’s a fantastic resource and I owe so much to everyone involved.

Can I ask for any suggestions on alcohol-free desserts at Christmas? I think I might end up making a fruit cake and just accepting that it won’t have the longevity of a booze soaked one. Last year I had enough of a job resisting the drinks and brandy butter but I don’t really want alcoholic puddings this year. There’s always a Yule log I suppose… nice to have an excuse for a Yule log!

I cleared 400 days AF yesterday. Very happy with that. It’s feeling a lot more normal now.

@Adm1010 and @ChampooPapi to say well done for being here and being so open. Be kind and gentle with yourselves. I admire your honesty - I really think I would creep away and hide if I had a drink now as I’m a wimp and would hate having to fess up.

💐

@Breathmiller first zoom smart meeting ticked off. Lots of others saying the same thing as me, made me feel welcome as usual. This time I will keep up with them, maybe do less a week but do them for the foreseeable. There is a lot of bingers on there which is me to a T.

I'm inspired by all of you and I think I'm really starting from a more solid ground then last time. Me and the booze, it's over.

See you for checking in tomorrow

Fantastic to hear champoopapi

Good on you @ChampooPapi. A change of mindset is great. Very positive. Roll with it!!
Welcome @excitedemmi - glad you found us.
@Blackberryblossom. Christmas food is indeed full of booze. I keep reading recipes for Christmas baking where they say just to use tea for everything instead of brandy/rum/whisky. But none of them are actually saying what the end product tastes like and I don’t want to ruin my rather expensive homemade Christmas cake!
It feels a bit like school cookery, where no matter what we made, the teacher would tell the vegetarian girl in our class to ‘just use a tin of chickpeas instead’!!
For pudding, I am going with sticky toffee pudding and a non-baked cheesecake. No booze there, but lovely and both can be made ahead. I love banoffee pie too but I know it’s rather trashy!!
This is my first AF Christmas and I think I will be on here a lot until New Year’s Day. I am frequently overwhelmed with worry at how I will get through Christmas sober.

@AlloftheTime I’ve learnt over the years that if I don’t get back on the horse straight away and own what I’ve done then a slip becomes a lapse and my lapses can last months . By getting straight back up and facing it I feel stronger .

Day 2 . Slept really well last night and my husband is of the attitude “ let’s put it behind us and move forward “ so all good there . Hopefully the bickering will stop now I’ve “ boiled over “ if that makes sense .

I’m going seeing my eldest son this morning , that always warms my heart have a good ( sober ) day all xx

Morning everyone. Hope a good day is ahead for all. Thank you again for everyone's support, I am fully ready for this now. I will not beat myself up I will build myself up instead, I know I can do this. I also know I have to do this now or I could actually loose everything..