Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

[Drybird2020]

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives.

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

@Touty welcome
You will find plenty of support here and good advice if you need to get through something tricky. How helpful did you find Alan Carrr’s book?
Thanks for sharing your journey so far and look forward to hearing how you progress.

I’m into my tenth week and thinking I need to start curbing my sugar consumption soon!
Checking in for Wednesday 👍

Morning all. Day 25. Whoop!

@vilt and @Breathmiller yes makes total sense that you feel more relaxed in social situations. I think that’s a biggie for me which I hadn’t realised.

Morning all, day 11! First time since giving up, I went to bed and actually just fell asleep. I do enjoy always sleeping through now. Just had coffee and about to do yoga. I never ever thought I would be this person!
Well done @Touty and @Kindtomyself!

Hi @Lesina lovely to meet you and welcome. Yes I drank for any reason I could find and I have to say I feel much better without the alcohol. I’m around your age too (I’m 50). Keep posting.

Hi @Sunflowersinthewind lovely to meet you. Your description sounds fabulous; going straight to sleep, sleeping through, getting up WITHOUT a hangover (I added that bit and then yoga. Wow! Congratulations on Day 11

Hi @Touty welcome. I found the Quit Lit really useful. I’m now reading You Left Early which is a Memoir but alcohol related.

Hi to everyone else hope you all have a great day

@Breathmiller you’ve certainly all had a rough ride dealing with the situation with your mum. It would be hard it normal t8mes let alone with Covid going on too. My dad has dementia and a load of other health problems, for me it wasn’t so much of a surprise, I knew it would happen at some point. He had a stroke and then needed to go into home. It was the selling the family home in the middle of the lockdown and sorting through decades of my parents belongings while working and home schooling that broke me. And it was wine every night as my response.

You are absolutely right, it seems at the time that alcohol is the only answer to these stresses. But being Af now for nearly a month and having my heaD so much clearer I think I probably would have coped better if I had not been drinking at that time.

I hope you are enjoying your downtime

Checking in 🥰

I hope everyone is having a great Wednesday!!

Hi all, thanks for the welcome . I am sorry but I am rubbish at quoting / using the @ function so I will just generally answer the questions raised.

I am using the 'I am sober' app which now tells me I have 3 Days and 10 hours under my belt. It also gives units not taken and money saved.

My fibroscan is booked for next Tuesday afternoon, its an immediate result thing, 30 minutes consultation followed by the scan and the results. Telling someone that I have been racking up over 100 units a week will be an embarrassment but needs must.

Blood testing kit has arrived this morning, so that will be sent off tomorrow - will probably get the results after the fibroscan but by mid next week, I should have the complete picture. The whole lot has cost £421 - which is money well spent I think.

Anyway, today is a bit of a struggle. No particular reason why, I can usually identify my triggers - stress is a big one but at the moment, I can't place my finger on it - just a sense of craving. I will ride it out but it is odd that it has come out of nowhere. Odd though.

I shall busy myself making dinner for the family, planning something vegetarian and healthy, then try to find something to watch on telly. I thinki I have just realised how bloody hard this is going to be. Ho hum.

@Lesina You are very brave facing up to potential liver problems head on and booking a private scan etc Good luck with the tests and please let us know the results. It was health worries that finally forced me to go AF, it was the kick up the behind I needed. I'm NHS and having to wait but I am considering going private, which is a massive outlay for me, so am very interested in your experience. Apologies if I've asked you before, but what were the symptoms that have prompted you to go AF and book the bloods and scan, or is it just because you know you have drunk a lot over a period of time? (no disrespect intended, we are all members of this group because we know we've drunk too much alcohol).

@Nosilayak thank you. I don’t feel very brave . I don’t really have any major symptoms, other than a slightly tanned appearance but that could be days at the beach. I suppose more significantly I have pain in my upper right abdomen, which comes and goes and maybe nothing but it is something that is mentioned when liver disease is discussed. I will be surprised if there isn’t something going on.

@Lesina, yes I think we can sense when there is something not right with our bodies. Going AF now can only be a good thing.

Thanks guys for the warm welcome.
This does seem to be a little easier day by day.
@AlloftheTime I found Allan Carr's book really good. It has certainly helped me not pick up a drink so far. He explains things in basic terms but the book is effective, ive finished it now I just have to listen to his hypnosis link.

Ive got a night out with a friend on Friday- I'm trying to work out what I will say about drinking, I don't want to say the truth as it's complicated and too much explaining, so I will just tell her that I'm on medication and can't mix with alcohol, which is true, I'm on antidepressants.

Then another friend will come to visit so that will also be a trying time. I plan to drink AF lager or something like that.

Ive ordered a bottle of AF gin from Amazon. I thought it would help to feel like I'm having a treat in the evenings.

Day 16 today.

Morning everyone, day 12 here. Just drinking my coffee before yoga.

A PP said about getting the weord cravings that you can't put your finger on why. I get that too, there isn't any particular trigger, I think my brain just says shouldn't you be doing something by now?

@Nosilayak I did some home blood tests. Thriva. They do a liver function test. Mine came back OK, which I was very surprised about. I know its not a full body scan but I can refer people to get a tenner off if you wanted to do that

Liver function tests can be deceptive . They can still be clear in the early days of damage . It’s dangerous cause then it can be a “ green light “ to carry on drinking as we think “ well I’m ok “ That’s why fibro scans are so bloody important ! They WILL detect early damage at the reversible stage … because sadly our livers are bloody clever , they keep repairing and repairing and pretending they are ok …. Till the day they can’t anymore and throw in the towel .

Morning all. Day 26.
@Touty I’m sure you’ll have a great time with your friend on Friday and like you say you are on medication. We only need to tell people what we want to tell people.

I’ve got a night out in a couple of weeks and I’ve decided that I will not start to project on what I’m going to say/do. I’m just thinking of today.

I did miss an impromptu early drink last Friday because I had other things going on (bad cold ) and did feel a little FOMO about it. However the people who went have reported a mixture of bad hangovers and losing things including a laptop in a taxi.

I have to admit I definitely felt a sigh of relief- god knows what state I’d have been in.

@Sunflowersinthewind your brain as a pattern of behaviour deeply entrenched … it KNOWS it needs something … it knows that something gives it “ pleasure “ so it will try everything with you to convince you to feed it! That’s what people refer to as the “ wine witch “ but really it’s the reward centre in your brain screaming for its “ fix” it’s normal and you can fight it . It will never go away but you have to learn to control it in order to not relapse . That’s why moderation is rock hard cause it teases the reward centre and keeps it screaming and wanting more more more

Morning to everyone . A little incentive today , ive put 5 pound ( plus change some days ) for every day I’m sober , away into a separate bank account . Today it’s got 129 pound in it . Not a huge amount . But it means a lot to me . I’ve never had “ savings “ ever!

Morning @Adm1010 and @Sunflowersinthewind it took me so long to write my previous post that I cross posted. Hope everyone is ok with liver function tests. I’m very scared to even think about it.

@Kindtomyself it’s ok to be scared . It’s best to know though . At best it’s reversible at worst it’s at the “ stop the clock “ stage and manageable . You are taking positive steps . Ignoring it and carrying in is the danger and what we should be scared of!!

You’re amazing and brave and whatever the outcome it can be managed

@Adm1010 thanks, must be stupid for the situations I’ve put myself in previously- mainly just very drunk and needing to get home . So so complex.

Great news on your savings- I’m keeping a record of my savings and treating myself. I’ve got some lovely earrings, oil for my diffuser and face cleanser - not expensive but nice things for me. Because I’m worth it

@Kindtomyself we can only look forwards not backwards …. A lot of my drunken behaviours are buried . I may face them one day …. Or not .

And you twirl away!!! You deserve it x

To everyone else … keep fighting that voice today . We can control it …. It’s not the boss of us

@Sunflowersinthewind thanks so much for the kind offer of the discounted blood tests. I've already had the liver function blood test via the GP and it showed very high levels of AFL? (if anyone knows anything about thisI'd be grateful for any info as, when they rang me with the results, I couldn't take it all in). I've had other tests and I'm waiting for the scan but I don't know when that will be as things are moving pretty slow on the NHS round here due to Covid.

@Adm1010, yes the blood tests can be deceptive. Especially the ones you buy online. I think there are so many variables that can impact them, time of day, what you have eaten etc. This is why I have bitten the bullet and booked the Fibroscan along with the bloods.. time to face the music.