The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

@boozynamechange glad you are joining us, keep checking in - it really helps.

When I stop and think about it I am astonished that I am actually doing it. But the good thing is that it feels 'normal' now. Me - normal! Like an ordinary person, not going through mental torture and lying to myself.

The benefits were slow (or so I thought) but I can see and feel them now. Dropped 2 dress sizes too!

I don't feel like a drink, I don't want to go back to that.

If I can do it so can you x

Welcome @boozynamechange and @CardiganOfDoom chatting through things on here really helps. I’m like breathmiller with no off button. I can’t just have one, but I used to easily abstain for a week. DH I don’t think has ever abstained for more than 2 or 3 days but he can easily just have one and that’s enough for him. He’s still drinking and because it’s just one or two it doesn’t bother me. I did find Xmas tricky though, just Xmas day, not the other days. But Id only been AF a week or so. It definitely gets easier. I don’t really think about it now.
Like you cardigan DH & I used to chug through a lot of booze putting the world to rights especially on a summers Eve but that’s not actually changed. I’ll have a cordial or maybe a becks blue & we still chatter away around the fire pit. You can absolutely do the same things without the booze - it’s a mindset. I now actually remember what we discuss (mostly)!

Hi boozynamechange well done on over a month! Are you starting to feel much better? I'm only on 15 days but have so much more energy. I think extended anythings are worrying me too. I enjoy e.g. a meal but wouldn't want an extended multi-course affair.

Hepzibar how long have you been doing it and what benefits have you seen apart from the 2 dress sizes - though I'd like those too!

Stayingvigilant So far (very early days) DH and I do manage to sit and chat but find it much harder to get/keep the conversation going, and we give up much sooner to switch the TV on. I suppose our tolerance for boredom was higher on the booze, and we were happier to spout bollocks.

Absolutely @CardiganOfDoom, Although I felt most of the benefits more in dry January when it was a bigger change from the norm. I've lost weight, have more energy but the biggest one for me is I play better with my daughter. I wouldn't say I ever had 'hangovers' but I definitely had less motivation and concentration.

I was on 65 units a week and 'very high' risk level on the drink aware app last year. I'm very proud that even though I had two failed attempts at moderation they were only a week or so long in feb and March so the app now says every month this year I'm low risk. Such a good feeling.

@StayingVigilant I'm hoping by Christmas I'll be well into the swing of things and it will be easier. But I have family that I've not seen in over a year visiting the weekend after overnight stays are allowed. Our time with them revolves around long, delicious dinners with lots of laughter. There's always lots of wine too though. This will be my biggest challenge of all. I have another month yet but it's playing on my mind.

@CardiganOfDoom I've done 111days - started 1st Jan thinking I'd try to do Dry Jan. I knew I needed to stop, I couldn't reduce, when I opened a bottle of wine I had to drink it all and often open another. I was a size 18, fattest I'd been in my life and I felt and looked unhealthy. So on Jan 1st I blurted out to my family that I was doing DJ. There, I'd said it, so I had to do it.

I immediately looked on MN and the Alcohol threads and joined, needed some like minded people for support.

I regret not weighing myself or taking any photos at the start (tempting fate I suppose), after 3 weeks I my clothes were less tight and people noticed I'd lost a bit of weight. That really spurred me on, I bought some scales! It gave me momentum and incentive, slowly I started to eat healthier and the 4 weeks ago I joined WW via the app, because I am in the right mindset it has been much easier. I'm back in size 14's now!

Sleep took a long time to improve, but waking up in middle of night with a racing heart stopped immediately. Skin, definite improvement but slowly, less puffy (didn't even realise I was puffy) and redness/blotchy gone.

Energy - I've got some now, looking back everything seemed an effort, now I've even attempted a bit of walking , never going to get to 10k steps though.

Confidence and a general feeling of being well, I feel like I 'fit in' like an equal, which says a lot about how I felt before, not good enough.

I know it's one day at a time but I just cannot go back to that person, I want to feel like this more than I want a drink and that means I've got to work at it.

I pinch myself every day. And thank posters on these boards for their support and for sharing their stories both good and bad. If I can do it, anyone can.

Hi everyone! I'm completely failing at working out how to change my username, so I'm stuck with it for the time being! I'm feeling good on day 6. All the comments about how our DH's drink and the impact of stopping really resonate . My DH and I drank together and he knows he could do with reducing at least. So I'm hoping me not drinking will encourage him to moderate, but I don't want to ask him to stop. It's me that finds it harder to say no afterall. I wasn't drinking everyday but about 4-5 bottles of wine a week. I feel brighter and think my complexion has improved. Hopes of losing weight are being undermined by the extremely yummy ice cream I tucked into last night though! It's great to hear all the positive stories, and the recognition that no-one is perfect.

On the weight loss subject, it has taken me a while to get my head round not just replacing booze with crap food. I think it helped to begin with and would have been too much to attend to at once. I'm always so impressed by those that can stop drinking and lose weight too.
But now that I don't feel the need to replace booze with sugary treats then I am getting a hold on that too. One step at a time.
I am really enjoying a NotRum on a Friday night with sugar and caffeine free coke. No calories at all and I enjoy it. To begin with I was having sugary AF ciders but I realised I don't actually like it that much, I think I just craved the sugar in it. Now, I find it too sweet. I could have one now and again but that need for sugat as and alternative isn't there so much.
Just need to work on my crisp and chocolate and cake addiction now.

Alcohol took me to people and places I would otherwise have had nothing to do with. I progressed from being the person who always drank too much at parties to almost losing my job because I went awol on a work trip.

Someone many years ago described me as being okay if I was looking through the bottom of a glass but usually quite dull, and as a shy, introverted young woman that was how I saw myself. I was born two drinks behind.

The early days of sobriety were not easy, I won't lie, but to wake up every day, especially after a social event, without the all encompassing feelings of shame and regret was its own reward.

Twelve years may seem like a long time, and indeed it is the lifetime of my eldest GC, but it is made up of thousands of days. I, like everyone else here, just have to live today without alcohol. That gets easier.

breathmiller I too need to work on my chocolate & cake addiction. And now suddenly ice cream!
Wow nellienolan what an awful comment to make. ‘You’re okay when you’ve had a few drinks but otherwise you’re dull!’ Shy and introverted does not mean dull. I’m sorry you were led to believe that but thankfully you were wise enough to see the truth. Although I’m relatively extroverted I cannot bear how society sometimes see quieter more introverted people as somehow lesser. So bizarre!

@nellienolan my guess is whoever said that to you was deflecting!!! They probably felt they needed alcohol themselves to be fun! Or maybe they’re just an idiot😅 I’m yet to meet a person who is more fun drunk than sober...!

It’s amazing that you’ve been sober for all of your grandchild’s life, that is such a gift to you and to them.

Wow nellienolan how rude of them. I found myself thinking of what I told my 9 year old yesterday when someone at school said something mean about his drawing "that wasn't kind of him. But it says a lot more about him than it does you" he nodded sagely and replied "yes, he doesn't seem very happy a lot of the time. Maybe he didnt like his own drawing"

@nellienolan, I'm with bunnies. Sounds like someone justifying their need to drink to me.

I was feeling very low last night, so I'm thinking of stopping my VLCD on Saturday. I'm making things harder on myself - it will make for much nicer evenings if I can eat real food, or we can go out and have a barbecue on the beach.

Good idea catdigan quitting alcohol and doing very low calorie must be so difficult. Can you be sensible with your food intake - so not a ‘sod it blow out’ not ‘very low calorie’ but somewhere in the middle. A bbq on the beach sounds heavenly!!

Yes, staying, I'm hoping that it will be easier to eat better without booze. Fewer drunk overeatings and fewer "feeling jaded pick-me up" carb fests.

Hi, hope you are all doing ok. May I ask for advice. I'm looking at different AF options, and bought a AF cider that says it is AF, but on the back says alcohol content is not more than 0.05%. Is that still ok????

Hey @Iscrewedup! Personally I think anything so low is totally fine, bearing in mind the alcohol % in freshly squeezed orange juice is 0.5% as well.

Some people prefer to stick to 0.0% alcohol and that’s fine as well, it’s a very personal choice.

I do always check the alcohol content carefully as once I accidentally drank a small alcoholic beer (thought it was AF) and it really messed with my mind.

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I've been looking forward to sitting in the late afternoon sunshine with my AF cider at the weekend, and was quite disappointed that I may not be able to! I definitely don't want to mess things up as I was to give my liver every chance to show improvement at the next blood test.

Want to, not was to

IScrewedUp your post has made me look in my AF cupboard/fridge shelf.
There’s variance. Some are no more than 0.5% and others are no more than 0.05%. The latter is seriously low - Heineken 0.0% and Becks Blue fall into this category.
Both M&S and Tesco diet AF G&T say alcohol free but are 0.5%; whereas Gordon’s 0.0% gin says nothing on the back and neither does Tesco’s Nozeco. Suggesting they both are indeed alcohol free. Having said all this, I drink them all as even at 0.5% it’s rather negligible.
Enjoy your ‘cider’ in the sun!!

Oh abs @Iscrewedup if you do want to change your username & are on a phone app, go to top right corner and click on the person. Then settings. If you’re not already logged in then log in. Once logged there’s an oblong with your username in and just change it here, save etc. I’m assuming it’s similar an all devices.

Hi, poster formerly known as Iscrewedup here! Thank you @stayingvigilent!

I'm off to a cottage for the weekend so I think I'm about to be tested. There's a decking area and it's due to be lovely weather so I know a drink would come easily.

I've prepared by packing a tonic water, which I genuinely enjoy, ice cube tray and wondering whether to risk taking my lovely delicate glass that makes AF drinks still seem special.

I know that I'll have a better time the next day without feeling heavy though and not going to ruin 37 days. Here goes. 💪

Great name change choice @Sunlitdreams
Definitely pack your nice glass. If it’ll keep you on track it’s worth it unless you can buy another there easily. I’d take more than ‘a’ tonic water too! We had 4 nights away recently and I took 12 Nevis blue. I knew I’d probs only have 2 a night but what if I fancied a 3rd? I am no way going to start restricting AF drinks. Currently sat in the sun musing over which AF - think I’ll try a Gordon’s 0% as not opened that yet, with some diet tonic & slice. Mmm! Happy Friday in the sun x

Ooh the Gordon’s is a bit soapy (drink straight from bottle). With tonic it tastes... like tonic. A tadge disappointed but the sun is out so 🥳

Hi all. Hope everyone had a good start to the weekend. I definitely understand what you mean about having a special glass @boozynamechange, and I hope you are enjoying your break. I have a special glass I'm using for my AF G&T and it does help it feel like a treat. @StayingVigilant I'm sorry the Gordon's didn't quite hit the mark for you. I find it benefits from having really good tonic, if that helps. I told my DH more about what im doing and why yesterday. He was great, understanding and supportive, and has decided to moderate his own intake. Feel closer to him than I have for a while. One final thing, I realised yesterday evening that I'd had my top on back to front all day - and I've been stone cold sober for over a week! How????😂