Day one and onwards

[Hazelnutmochi]

Thread two for those on the 'day one for those starting out' thread. New joiners very welcome 😀

Hello @Sneachta and everyone. I hope everyone is well. Day 5 here. I'm finding it much easier this time for sure with H not drinking either whoooooop. Altho he's been a right ratty arse... Honestly. He had 10 days off and decides to fucking bake cookies in the middle of the 1st day of home schooling (prior to that he was so busy at work to spell out Christmas to my little one for his 1 piece of work he had to do) I was shouting and swearing way too much felt so bad. Then a lot of u won't know but my in laws are hell. The doorbell goes 6pm pitch black I'm like who the hell.. it's both of them at my door. Mil is holding satsumas in her hand clutched to her chest (she said she was soooo ill recently hut of course it was a cold not covid according to her) I had to go quite close to retrieve said satsumas (I should have said leave them on the porch but was in shock that they were out.. They're old and they were in their way back from Costco!!! It's a fucking national lockdown we live nowhere near one) fil then proceeded to hand me a fucking roast chicken which promptly fell out near my stairs juices and all... H didn't know until much later and he was so grumpy about it and then a bowl broke and all sorts.. He definitely has the rage from not drinking. He has the nerve to say how easy it is and he didn't drink every day.. Oh yes he did!!
So anyway I'm hoping both our tempers subside soon because not fair on the kids.. They haven't been out for 3 days now! I'm going to try and jump in puddles or something with little one but this home schooling is ridiculous. Nesrly an hour phone call with reception and the teacher them showing all their bloody toys... Haha bless them but I was like er when will this end.
Sorry very long post.
Thanks for reading.
Hope you are all very well. @timkerbellx hope you are OK especially working in NHS at this time the brain fog should dissappear I hope!
How are you @spongebobscaredypants and anyone else I've missed sorry. X

Ah at @LegallyBlondeee just saw your post amazing news about the sleep. The better sleep alone should put everyone off drinking!! I had some pretty wierd dreams tho recently... Well done to day 5 snap!

Actually I'm day 6 but same thing lol

Hi gang!!! How exciting we've got a new home. Thanks for tagging me. Day 135 which is baffling! Not sure how I've made it this far but I have and no real desire to drink to be honest. Slept terribly last night so not sure it's fixed my sleep problems but I think that's cos I was worrying about a meeting I've got at work today.

Welcome to newbies. Stay strong, you can do it. It is hard but it does get SO MUCH easier. Still want a drink sometimes to be honest but nothing like the cravings from the early days/weeks. I don't think about it that much anymore and am glad I am not drinking for this lockdown/home schooling.

There have been so many memes and posts from people saying that dry January is over cos of the lockdown and stuff, and I just think, drinking isn't going to make it any easier for you guys. Anyway, I have clearly turned into someone I used to secretly raise my eyebrows at. I'm still not sure what the future holds for drinking for me and will definitely never say never but I reckon I will prob make it to 6 months now which will be 24th Feb.

My h drank every day from 20th Dec through to 1st Jan (after a 118 day break) which was weird to go from nothing to drinking every day. He's stopped again now easily but he never was as addicted as I was. I didn't find it difficult to be around him drinking really but he was drinking red wine or beer, neither of which I like so that probably helped.

Anyway, haven't actually read the thread as busy at work today but I will read it properly later and catch up.

Keep going everyone, you're doing great. My recs for quit lit are This naked mind, Glorious rock bottom, unexpected joy, sober diaries. Podcast - Over the influence. AF drinks - Tesco £2.50 sparkling wine (for fake prosecco).

Welcome to all the new joiners and well done!
I'm ok thanks @Sneachta, have struggled a bit tbh though. Going back into lockdown has made me very tempted to drink, which is ridiculous because I know it would not end well. I've given myself a kick up the backside, I need to keep busy and distracted and tell the wine witch to f** off when she starts chattering away. Dds nursery is open but won't be sending her as DH is shielding, have FOMO on her behalf.

Hello all everyone sounds like they are feeling sorted about the situation with lockdown and not feeling the need for a drink.
I have lost any desire to have a drink at the moment I'm wondering if it's cos I've drank so much all year that my body is now celebrating!!! my little mantra that i keep saying to myself is "just do the same thing everyday- just keep going"

Hello! @PeacheyPeach that mantra sounds awesome! Day 6 nearly done feels good. There was some Nosecco in the fridge from nyd which I threw out. Less shouty today trying to get fresh air but it's impossible..
I bribed one of the kids with a sweet just so he'd come round the block with me.. I'm used to walking every day now but by myself! It's all good could be worse etc etc
How's it going @LegallyBlondeee?
The latest is my H boss wants us to move to France I said feck off

@Ynwa12345
I’ve just finished work so I am very very happy about that! First day today that I’ve walked to work and back it’s around 10k and it really does help me let out all my stress and frustrations so going out and getting some fresh air I think really helps me. Feeling very optimistic at the moment I’m not even tempted to drink alcohol at the moment. It’s my mums birthday this weekend and we have scheduled a family zoom so I’ve said im going to allow myself 2 gin and tonics then draw a line in it, because I know if I tell myself “I can’t” I’ll just feel too restrictive and I’ll go and get absolutely smashed and make a fool of myself and then get up Saturday and have another drink to make my hangover feel better. I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and say it’s my day 6. You’re all doing awesome and this thread is really helping me see the positive side of being sober!

Fay 3 for me .....was feeling rather smug all day until i got home late this evening .
Been short with everyone ? With reason after 12 hour day and Boone lifted a finger at home) but so tempted to pour a large vodka !
Anyway I didn't ... had soda and like instead.
How could my jaw is clenched and a headache . I suspect it's withdrawal as years since I've not drink almost a bottle of wine during the evening .
Good things ..... fit bit confirmed best quality sleep Ive had in years last two nights / definitely more focused ald productive at work today / no desire to binge eat at bedtime .
Negatives .... pretty much none of I'm honest !
So so pleased .
Great reading your posts and tips .
Jane down loaded some of the books too thanks .

The positivity on here is good and is helping me a great deal, to know I am not the only one. day 4 now and surprisingly doing ok. Been working 12 hour shift think that may have helped.

Good morning everyone.... couldn’t wait to say it so here I am. Today is my day 6!!! I can’t remember that last time I was tee total for six days. Probably when I was pregnant 9 years ago 😳. I had another really good sleep last night. And my work place suprised me with a £200 voucher for all my work during the pandemic, where I would of usually of spent quite a substantial amount of that on posh gins and wines. I no have no idea how to spend it. I’m not used to spending any money on myself and I almost feel guilty about it lol! I quite fancy a joe malone candle but spending that amount on a candle is crazy right?
Anyway I hope every one has a good evening and has a really good day today.

Omg @LegallyBlondeee well done on getting £200!!!! Wow that would have given me a much needed boost! Well done on day 6 too I'm on day 7 (probably the 5th day 7 I've done but this time feels different easier in a way) maybe because my H is doing it too? I don't think he's ever gone this long either. He used to always complain he didn't sleep well I'd say its the booze even 1 glass can f up sleep but no he'd always deny it hehe.
I am exhausted but sleeping realllyyyyyyyy good. Had 4 yo wake to say his fingers hurt?? I was like yuck go back to sleep pls (I Co sleep still...) we are buying a bunk bed n ext and sorting out a room for them soon. But as the old timers know my house is falling to bits too so one thing at a time hey? (also had rats arghh)
I think you should buy whatever you want i absolutely love candles. H bought me a neom one for Xmas it's amazing a sleep one. But it was 40 pounds. Lol why don't you buy a lot of stuff you want or blow it all good for you!
Well done for getting through it @timkerbellx you should be proud for not picking up the drink it takes so much so well done.
Great you are feeling positive vibes here @mumgg! Keep going everyone x

Mornimg everyone and many congratulations on your days

@writingsonthewall a new house! How fantastic. Happy housewarming. I also echo what you say about how much easier it gets and you have many less days tempted to drink.

@Hazelnutmochi that was a great article about the wine witch wasnt it. Sorry your struggling, hopefully that will pass again. Lockdown over here too now and schools shut. I also feel so bloody stressed. The poor kids. NOT going to cave though

@ymna France? FRANCE? How random lol

@PeacheyPeach @LegallyBlondeee @22:34timkerbellx congrats on your days, it's such a great feeling when they start adding up and yes I love being silently smug listening to others grabbing the corkscrew @mumgg welcome and congratulations too

Best get ready before my lot get up ahhh

If there are any other book recs that havent been mentioned if you can post. I would like to remind myself and keep on top of it.

I'm off to google jo malone candles lol GET THE CANDLE

Keep posting

Sober sleep is amazing!
Definitely not crazy to get the candle @LegallyBlondeee, you should treat yourself. Sober treats are so important.
My favourite quit book is love yourself sober and the podcast too. Really helped me. And I think alcohol lied to me has already been mentioned. I love reading about sober celebs too.

Hi everyone. Can I join please. I started dry january and lasted 5 days. Let myself down big time yesterday and just feel so down today. So I thought I would come on here as I need support and somewhere to be held accountable. No more excuses. I need to do this for my family.

Hi, welcome @Secretsquirrelsbuddy. Don't beat yourself up, it's hard work! Slips are part of the journey. Plenty of support here.

Thank you

@Ynwa12345 @Hazelnutmochi @Sneachta I’ve been looking at the candles all morning sooo tempted but apparently they have really and reviews. Which I’m shocked about really because it seems every celeb and high profile person on IG seems to have one in their home. So I’ve decided to not splurge on joe malone. But I have spent some money on ASOS this morning as I figure that I may well loose some of my gut with not drinking so I have a pretty dress, some tights and a nice pair of pjs on order ( I’m a sucker for pjs)
@Secretsquirrelsbuddy be kind to yourself. Its not easy breaking a habbit. Its taken me many days 1s to get this far.

Hi everyone
I've been watching these threads for a while on and off but my hand has now been forced and I'm now on day 1. I'm on antibiotics and last night was my first night without a drink for as long as I can remember. I had a terrible night's sleep, sweats, waking every few hours but feel a 100% better today for a bad night than a hungover morning. @Sneachta thank you for your honesty over withdrawal. This really scares me.

I can't have a drink for the next week but I am so exhausted of it all that I really hope I can go longer. Plus I smoke and the two go hand in hand so I am hoping to get rid of these too.

Hi all! Right I’ve finally got around to RTFT.
@Sneachta has given a great intro to sober living and I echo all she has said. Just keep going is my advice. I think having just 1 or 2 at the weekend or even on a special occasion is fine BUT I do think you are just making life A LOT harder for yourself. You’ll just want more, or you’ll want to do it again the next day or the next weekend. Taking it off the table altogether is just so much easier. And I know this isn’t what you want to hear, it’s not what I want to hear either but it is the truth. You can only see the wood for the trees once you do it – for quite a long time – and then you realise you are just not thinking about it as much as you used to.

Also sneachta – I meant this thread has a new home, not I have a new home haha, nothing so exciting I’m afraid 

My anxiety is much better. I’ll be honest sleep still isn’t great but that has been the case for me for years and I am well into early menopause so that isn’t helping. It’s just nice to remember the evenings more and not to wake at 3am with a pounding heart and head. I still wake but it’s a lot more restful! I haven’t lost any weight either but I have eaten my own weight in chocolate whereas I didn’t do that before so not exactly surprising.

Hi @Newernewist and @Hazelnutmochi good to see you’re still going, yay us! Oh god YES the teeth clenching!!! That was the worst. Mine is also way better. @hazel I still have my moments, espec re lockdown and I’m like ‘what’s the bloody point?’

@Ynwa12345 your chicken story cracks me up more every time I read it!! Your inlaws are mad! Quite fancy a move to France though, especially if South, might be a bit warmer. WELL DONE on sticking and getting to day 7 again. I know I’m like a pious old bore but you are honestly doing the hardest bit over and over again so deserve a medal. Love it when kids wake you up in the middle of the night with such gems as “my fingers hurt” argghhh!! Before bed last night my 7year DS said “something came out of my bottom that wasn’t a fart and it looked like snot”. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I don’t need to hear such things.

My dreams are so weird and unsettling at the moment. I keep dreaming about ex boyfriends (not in a sexual way!) and also my h’s ex-wife. It’s so strange.

Newbies - hellooo and welcome. I find it quite funny that I am now an “old hand” at this sober stuff. Honestly and truly, if I can do 136 days then literally anyone can. It just gets easier BUT it does take time so just keep going. Well done on your walk to work @LegallyBlondeee, that is good going and especially in this cold weather. It’s bloody freezing out there. Hmm ideas for your £200, Jo Malone candles are supposed to be nice, but get a small one so you’ve got money leftover for other stuff. Or maybe a Diptyque candle, they are even more money! Spa Day once we’re allowed out again, or new bag, or new shoes, some nice fitness gear, or jewellery. I bought myself a good camera a couple of weeks ago, it was about £300 I think but it’s so good.

Well done @timkerbellx on not giving in – top work. The early days are HARD.

Sneachta – book rec, I remembered this one the other day, it’s not a quit lit per se, but it’s fairly boozy and makes you realise how toxic it can be. It’s called Nina is not ok, by Shappi Khorsandi, it’s both dark and funny. SO good. Get it immediately.

@Secretsquirrelsbuddy – don’t beat yourself up, just start again and this time keep going. I know it’s hard but it is worth it if you can hang on until it gets easier. Read one of the heavier quit lit books like This Naked Mind by Annie Grace – that is the one that probably made the biggest difference to my mindset. I listened to it on Audible as find non-fiction too hard going to actually read. Get out on some long walks and listen to it, if you don’t use Audible already then you get your first book free I think.

@SaladBowlsAndBasinsAndBuckets – Happy Day 1. Pretty hardcore choosing a Friday – I salute you. I think doing cigs and booze at the same time is tough going. I gave up smoking 10 years ago (and I was massively addicted to that too) so I know how hard it is. Ywna has tried to tackle both last year so she is an expert but this time round has ditched the cigs for a good few weeks before attempting booze again. Might be worth some consideration to do one first (although I appreciate they go together like Bill and Ben!)

Anyways, best do some work. byeeee

Morning everyone, how did you all cope for your first Friday? I found Fridays actually harder than Saturdays. (Even though I was drinking every day so there was no difference but meant I could officially drink more on a Friday)

@writingsonthewall ffs I'm 'tick' lol how did I think you moved house funny about your dreams. I dreamt I was with my ex again a few weeks ago. V weird as I hadnt thought about him in 20 years! Maybe I'm peri too

Just on candles I got 2 lovely ones (large 20 quid) from Marks'. They didnt burn too long but smelt lovely. Kinda 'manly' smells (nice not farty)

Sleep becomes much better after a while.

I best fly I booked an online yoga class at 9. 2 pals encouraged me, they are experts!

Keep going and posting, it really gets easier. Hardly think about it now. 170 something days here

Morning how did everyone's Fri go? As @Sneachta said mine was all day every day so it wouldn't matter.. If anything I got to Friday and thought shit I have to give it a break.. But never did.
Slowly but surely its got easier and easier to give it a break. Frustrates me when ppl say oh you are brave doing dry Jan in lockdown... For me waking up groggy and moody would be detrimental to home schooling my kids! I am not working the next few weekends because I'm so paranoid about covid (face to face job).
I always wonder how @Rupertpenrysmistress is going hope you are well and safe...
Well done for yoga! I would never be able to in this bloody household..
I want to go for a walk so I will. My sleep has been fab I really think its this new candle!
Asos haul sounds lovely @LegallyBlondeee I want to do that but my wardrobe is literally overflowing and no charity shops open! I wear same thing daily. My face has broken out in spots and I noticed first time I'm getting age spots so I was freaking out.
Hope everyone is OK. Oh yes the cigs were more difficult than booze but I've managed 8 weeks or so without cigs now using smoke free app it really helped.. The first 2 weeks you get a 'live' bot encouraging u in form of texting etc it really helped. Then once I had that under my belt I started with giving up booze. It helps.
Have a good weekend x

Morning everyone. Another saturday/weekend under our belts sober.

Fair play on the cigs ymna. I'd imagine the breakout is due to that? Dreading tomorrow and home schooling again, 8 year old particularly bad. Special Needs schools were told to open and unions bloody shut them down again. This was my only bit of respite. Govt here is a joke. AND because of brexit we cant even do an Amazon shop to cheer us up lol.

How many days are you now hearmeroar? Yeh I cant have alcohol here either. DH has IPA in the fridge but thats disgusting. He had the cheek to ask me to open him one and bring it into him. Told him was he having a giraffe? And get off his lazy arse himself.

Anyone off to do nothing.......

Morning everyone. I had a little drink last night for my mums birthday. I’m surprised at how quickly the alcohol went to my head after being sober for 7 days. I had a great night though and I’m not mad at myself. I’m fairly confident i can get back on the alcohol free train again. I use to think I had no off switch but I’m proving to myself I have a lot more will power than I give myself credit for. I went to m&s yesterday and treated myself to some of there Californian orange sparkling juice and I’m looking forward to having that tonight. Hope everyone is well.