"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Thanks lads. Am currently on the plane (magic midair WiFi). Took me over an hour to calm down and flinching and crying every time there's even a whisper of turbulence. You have to wear the mask and visor at all times which makes the panicking a lot worse. But I haven't caved yet. The 2nd flight lands on my 5 months date I so badly don't want to spoil it.

Oh wow @Hangingover over you're well on your way so massive congratulations on getting there. You'll do it - I've every faith in you and tonnes of admiration for conquering your fears .

Well
Done @Hangingover!!

I’ve achieved three nights-nearly caves tonight but held strong.

Welcome back @Sneachta. I remember you!
Good on you @Hangingover. You did it!
Stay strong @Haggisfish, Thursday night can
be a tough one I find, especially after years of Tv/question time = wine thinking in my case.
Are you doing okay @BunniesBunniesBunnies? Would be good to hear how you are doing today, no matter what. I hope you are ok.
I have had an ok week at work and I have started doing yoga again, which is a big fitness upgrade for me (read sod all to yoga). I have felt quite strong in resisting drink this week. My nerves normally go to hell After the clocks change but I’m trying to hold strong this year and not let the darkness get me down. I have been enjoying doing some Halloween baking with DC2. I normally hate Halloween but am really trying to make it fun for her seeing as ‘Guising is cancelled in Scotland this year. We have pumpkin carving, cookie making (trial run went well yesterday) and bobbing for apples planned. (If I remember to buy pumpkins,more icing and apples tomorrow 🤣) .

Thanks pals. Six hours in I think, 14 to go...still toughing it out. At least it's nearly empty so everyone has a row to spread out.

Wwll done hangingover any good films on?

Fantastic haggisfish can you find yourself something to distract you at your witching hour? You're doing so well.

iamyourequal well done at doing some yoga (i know, I know, I'm biased but its just so bloody brilliant i think)

**Breathmiller, yes, currently grateful that I’ve just driven everyone home from my friends birthday meal and I’m now in bed watching CBS reality. Actually had nice evening. Well done for another day everyone

@Hangingover bloody hell-twenty hours?! Are you going to the actual moon?! @Breathmiller I’m doing well actually -I’m having dinner early, which reduces my craving. Also making sure I have something I need to drive to after dinner as well (mainly spending my wine money on something from homesense!). I’m feeling really positive this time. Funny how the mental attitude makes all the difference. For the past month I just couldn’t muster the convincing of myself I could do it even though I knew I could. Brains are odd things.

Haha no but I can see it from my seat. It's Perth to London but you can't go directly at the moment so have to do a stop over. No movies for me. I tried really hard to concentrate on Black Beauty but the nerves make me so queasy I can't focus on anything. Currently relisting to the Cazolet family chronicles which are very cosy. Can't believe I was too stressed/queasy to eat my vegan plane food!! Haven't slept which is a shame but every time I drop off my body jerks awake like I've just fallen off something. I must have added it up wrong because there are apparently still 14 hours to go!! Just 14 hours between me and my 5 months booze free.

You’re doing amazing, @Hangingover!

I‘ve relied on the Cazalet chronicles audio books through the worst anxiety. Those and Cabin Pressure, appropriately 😉

Keep going ✊🏼

Hello

I've been reading through the first and second of these threads and just getting so much good feeling from them. I'm on my 20th sober day. It all came a bit out of the blue for me. I'm in my forties with kids and a lovely fiance. I have been drinking more than usual over lockdown but never to the point of being pissed and not every day. However I recognise I have a real dependence on drink and that thoughts of drinking occur most days. I have some serious medical conditions which won't be helped by drinking. But the main reason for me stopping is the fact I have lived with an alcoholic for years in the past and drank my head off to keep up with him. I left him when it became obvious he wasn't going to change and it was affecting our kids. Since then he hasn't seen them much at all and there's lots I won't go into but both my kids suffer as a result of him drinking which has meant I have stopped contact.
Any way, I happened upon the Sober Diaries and read it cover to cover in a few days. It just hit home for me. What was I actually getting out of drinking? Nothing at all.
I do feel better mentally. Still not sleeping well but that's due to my conditions. I am much more patient and calm and not obsessing about whether I should have a drink tonight or not, like I did most nights.
Thank you for the tips and advice on here and to every one who has been so honest.
I hope to chat with you more

It's about minus fourteen o'clock and Ive been awake about ninety years. Currently over Mesopotamia. Still no alcohol but apparently turbulence is expected over Europe. Still feel wretched but at least full of tofu. I'm so close 😭 5 1/2 hours to go and I'm five months free.

Welcome givingitamiss thanks for sharing your story. Well done on 20 days! That's amazing.!

Hangingover you're on your way!! Woohoooo!! You are doing it!! Just waking up here in Scotland and looking forward to you landing and celebrating your 5 months! Sooo impressed by you right now. Got a busy morning but I'll pop in to hear when you land? What time, our time?

@Hangingover you absolute legend - well done, so impressed with how you are handling this and HAPPY 5 FABULOUS MONTHS!!!

Welcome back, and sorry the weather is so shit and the pandemic is so bad, but its lovely to have you with us wishing you lots of luck in your last few hours of flying across Europe, and post us when you are safely back on terra firma...

@Lifechange2020, have you read William Porter's Alcohol Eplained? He talks about something called Fading Effect Bias, which is where you forget about or minimise the downsides of something over time as the memories of the nastiness become less vivid. Its why its helpful to write stuff down or re-read quit lit occasionally, so we don't forget what a trap alcohol really was and how badly it affected our lives.

Welcome @GivingItAMiss, great decision, like you I didn't have a "rock bottom" but alcohol was giving me nothing and taking a LOT in terms of headspace and health!

Is Mesopotamia an actual place? I thought it was an ancient country-doh! Geography is not my strong point.
I still think Amsterdam is a country and have to concentrate really hard to remember it’s a city. Hope the flight continues to be ok.

Hurrah hurrah am five months sober

Congratulations @Hangingover on your 5 months and on surviving the trip back (assuming you've now landed). I hope you can feel some positives of coming home; lovely Autumnal colours and a vegan hot chocolate for starters?

I'm sorry to hear so many of us are feeling low and finding it hard. I think it's important not to underestimate the power the seasons have over us, I'm trying to embrace the Season of Dreams plus I'm getting a SAD lamp in case the embracing doesn't work. Hang in there everyone.

Well done @Hangingover, epic work on all fronts. Welcome home

Welcome home hangingover and massive congratulations on your 5 months. What a huge achievement. You should be really proud of yourself.

I had the first day in a while where I thought about it. Nothing major happened but just one of those days that in the past would have been a "Fuck it- it's a bottle of wine day" but I had a ridiculously large marzipan bar and a nanna nap and it's gone. I just had the Friday and premenstrual grumps.

Not felt the need for AF alternatives so much lately but I saw they had AF gin in Aldi so I treated myself. It was nice actually. I got the lemon and ginger one. Might try the sea one another time. They also had a fire one. It was a good distraction and felt like a treat after my bleurgh day.

Well done hanging! I e managed four nights now. I very nearly caved tonight but stayed strong. Well chuffed.

Love that idea @breathmiller! Going to do that with my daughter, thank you :)

My positive- NO HANGOVERS!!! Hearing people talk about them today, so relieved they are no longer in my life. And the guilts/fears, so glad they are gone!

Sorry to those feeling low, this time of year really doesnt help and the whole covid situation. Sending hugs to you all x

No hangovers is a wonderful difference! It makes me better at looking after myself too, now if I have a headache or a sore tummy or feel very tired I slow down, whereas before I'd put it down to a hangover and make myself plough on as punishment, berating myself for drinking too much again.

I love the mental space. There was an article in the Guardian this week about changing drinking habits, with advice for people going back to drinking after Stoptober and I felt exhausted just reading the list of approaches to moderation (all of which I have tried). Removing the internal chatter about when and where and how much I could have has freed up so much room in my brain. This might actually be my top benefit.

@Haggisfish well done not caving. The first days and weeks are hard, there is no denying it. Eat early in the evening get your PJs on, get plenty of sugar in you. It's Halloween so surely that's compulsory anyway?! Maybe read through the old threads for all the ideas, and for reassurance that what you are feeling is absolutely standard and will improve soon. Keep your hands busy, post here often. You can do this.

I seem to keep missing vast amounts of the thread so I missed your achievement @Hangingover! Well done for getting through that epic fight! Glad you managed to eat and congrats on 5 months! Hugest congrats, that's awesome!

Sorry anyone who it looks like I ignored, I'm not sure if I keep somehow missing a page or my wifi is dodgy but I keep finding my replies after chunks of chat that to have yet to read doh

Welcome @GivingItAMiss, that sounds like a positive decision.

Well done @Haggisfish, the early days see the hardest first sure, once you get through these it gets much easier.

Sorry @Haggisfish that should read- the early days seem the hardest for sure!