Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

@Hangingover sounds like a practically perfect day :-)

Sounds lovely @Hangingover and I like the word “cravy”😂

Glad you're feeling better now, @BunniesBunniesBunnies. How did you get on with the Sweaty Betty leggings? I had a look but almost fainted at the cost, are they worth the ££££? I'm off for a big run at the weekend to offset some excessive weekend eating.

DH has just announced that he won't be drinking on our upcoming holiday. I'm very touched. It has taken him a while to get it but he has now grasped what I'm doing and why, and that it is actually quite a big deal.

I went out for a friend’s birthday, sat in a sunny pub garden for hours drinking only soda and lime. No desire for alcohol. WHO EVEN AM I NOW??!

That’s wonderful, @Drybird2020,

Go @SparklingLime, and @Drybird2020 thats great news.

Surely its @BunniesBunniesBunnies 100 days today? Hope you are having a big celebration Buns!

Day 18 for me, still rolling along :-)

Glad you’re living up to your name @SparklingLime

Keep on rolling @Ravenswick!

Just been for a lovely sunny walk, sat on a bench and read for a bit, and now settling down to work.

Happy 100 bunnies!

These posts are all so inspiring!
Day 8 and loving it here :)
Have a lovely day all.

Hello,
My name is @ontheshingle and I am wondering if I can (re-re)join you.
I was originally on the thread in January, and I got to 110 days. Then I finished a dissertation, had one celebratory glass and ... well here I am. I loved being AF, and since that one glass, I've spent alot of energy in day 1, day 2, sometimes day 7 but always ending up drinking again. I joined the thread again briefly at some point, but this time I am really determined to stick to it. I feel rather embarrassed to be here again, but I know that this is a supportive place, and I know that I have done 110 days and can watch the days mount up again, slowly slowly.
(Hello again @Drybird2020).
I look forward to posting everyday as part of my commitment to being sober.

Welcome back, @ontheshingle. 110 days is a huge achievement. And so is your persistence in keeping starting again.

Hi everyone, I would like to join you if I may? I have been drinking daily for about 25 years in total, have given up when pregnant, have had periods of AF (longest period was 90 days) have had periods where I haven't drunk in the week at all but have always gone back to it and gradually over time it has got to the point where it is every day again and more and more wine on those days :sad: So it is day 21 here and I have found this time fairly easy but am a bit worried about the end of the month. I decided to do "Dry July" and then go from there, in the back of my head I want to try for 100 days as I previously got to 90 odd days but then caved. I would love for it to be forever but that feels a bit too much to focus on right now.

I am a bit concerned about next weekend as going away with boozy friends and it will be the end of July on the Saturday so worried I am going to give myself the perfect "excuse" to have a drink, which would just be annoying....

Nice to join you all, some great success stories here.

Welcome @Loubilou09! Might be good to work out a plan for the weekend... How you’ll manage practically (byo luxe soft drinks etc) and whether/what you’ll tell your friends in advance.

Welcome back, @Ontheshingle. I'm glad you made it back.

And welcome to @Loubilou09, as @SparklingLime rightly says, it's time to plan your strategies. I didn't come right out and tell people straight away, it's easier for me now I'm more secure in my sobriety. But others have found it keeps them accountable to tell people upfront. It depends on you and your friendship group, you will find what works.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies congratulations on your 100 days. Absolutely smashing it, not smashed!

Hi everyone, and Shingle. I too was on the January (or February?) thread and I did 2 or 3 weeks max, then gradually started again.

I think I'm on day 9 now. Feeling so good currently.

I know it will be up and down but here is what I'm really enjoying at the moment:

1. Reading - the concentration is back!
2. gardening - I have the energy to actually do it
3. massive reduction in anxiety and low mood
4. better skin
5. more patience with family

Also a huge fan of quit lit. Read Jason Vale, Clare Pooley, and the fabulous Mrs D (both books). Quite fancy the one aimed at women in particular, reading up-thread about someone who recommends it.

What a lovely positive thread, thanks for having me

Hi all, whether new, old or returning. Some really great stories and I am certainly finding it’s a big help to have the support on here and keep checking in. Happy AF evening everyone!

Happy Day 100 @BunniesBunniesBunnies!
Welcome to everyone New on the thread.

Hope everyone has had a good day.
Just checking in on day 140.

Hello all, thanks for the congrats! 100 days! Some months ago I would have never thought that was possible, but here I am: calmer, happier, healthier, richer, more productive and better looking😝

To celebrate my 100 days I went for a 100 minute run! It was glorious and I felt so happy and proud.

@Drybird2020, Sweaty Betty is expensive (I get most of my work out gear cheap) but the amazing quality means it lasts ages. I wear mine casually around the house/school run, too. They make anyone’s bum look awesome😂 The Power leggings are the best, with their 20% discount it’s about £68 (still a lot I know). I also got a nice pair second hand on eBay.

And how nice that your husband won’t be drinking on your next holiday...! He must be inspired by you!

@jess3817 congrats on 140 days!

Fabulous news, @BunniesBunniesBunnies!! 🎉🎉

Ooh, and @jess3817!! 🎉🎉

Wow, congrats to @jess3817 as well - amazing, 140 days - that is brilliant. Glad you had a good day @BunniesBunniesBunnies :-)

Echo the comments on Sweaty Betty - I've been given leggings for Xmas twice and they last for ever. I prefer the feel of the Bamboo Clothing stuff but it doesn't last quite as long (is much cheaper though). Have a good day everyone, and hope all the newbies and returners are doing OK?

Hello everyone
I've been quiet since my camping weekend because I totally messed up and I'm back where I was. Also had some bad news and drank to deal with it. I'm feeling absolutely awful and now I don't know what I'm doing and whether I can even come back to the group. I was feeling so much better and now my confidence has completely gone. Have any of you been in this position and if so how did you move past it? I feel like I have let myself and all of you down

Hi @wickelfish, poor you, sorry to hear that you have had bad news. Come straight back in here and join us.

I was reading something good yesterday, think it was Ruby Warrington "Sober Curious", and she describes the process of stopping drinking as a series of "reminders" - not relapses - and that with each reminder we get a clearer feeling of why we want to stop and are better equipped to make progress.

Don't beat yourself up, jump back on the horse and kick on, stronger than ever :-)

@BunniesBunniesBunnies 100 minute run, well done that's fantastic, when I use to run to run further than 5 miles, I could manage about 8.5 miles in that time - would like to get back to running that sort of distance but every time I try, I get what I call ' the fear' that I can't do it, and get really anxious about going out, so, I took the pressure off and told myself it's fine to run 5k or 5 miles 3 or 4 times a week. I did use to love the feeling of satisfaction after a long run. @wickelfish of course you can come back, drawn a line under it and try and move forward from it.

Thanks for all the kind messages.

Oh and guess what?! I'm having my hair cut, but a real life hair dresser today- I can't wait😂

Hurrah for all the milestones!

@wickelfish welcome back. Sorry you’ve had bad news, how are you feeling today?

Sweaty Betty leggings are one of the things I’ve treated myself to with my AF savings. Love them! Just got back from a run in my favourite pair that I got in the sale - pic! They make me think of planets.

Nice one on 100 mins and 100 days @BunniesBunniesBunnies. @jess3817 I did 5.5k this morning, I’m working up to a 10K in September. I truly thought I would never get past 5k and started to get that anxiety you describe - I’m slowly getting over it by telling myself to slow right down - take my time, and I stick on an Adam Buxton podcast which helps distract me for the first 10 mins or so til I’m in my stride

I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time, @wickelfish. One think that occurred to me... We’re a great supportive group, but I don’t think anyone should ever feel that they’ve let the group down if they drink. We’re all supporting each other, but at the end of the day we’re totally independent. And I think those boundaries are really vital. I would never feel let down by anyone on here having a lapse, choosing to drink, whatever. I’d be concerned and feel for them of course. Hope you can find your way back and through... 🤗