Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Stay with us wickelfish and don’t be harsh on yourself. This isn’t easy, hurdles happen, that’s why we need to stick together. Every time a slip up happens we learn from it, are better equipped to deal with it in the future and we can use it to strengthen our resolve. Make today a fresh positive start.

Absolutely @wickelfish, Day 1 onwards and forever, this is the place to be. The "rule" is that you are not actively drinking and posting on the thread; a commitment to sobriety is the requirement. Quite a few people have slipped, fallen and got back up again, if you read through the threads you will notice plenty of returnees.

@jess3817 congratulations on your milestone! Thanks for the running advice too, I really want sweaty betty leggings now, but I will try to find some on ebay as a first go. I'm managing between 5 and 6k now but I'm SO SLOW!

Sorry to hear you've had bad news Wickelfish and don't be so hard on yourself, it is so easy to slip back into ingrained habits and learned behaviours during triggering moments. I have been there so so many times.

Thanks to everyone for your comments - with regard to a plan, my friends are all completely cool and we have all had similar battles with alcohol. Out of the 4 of us, 3 of us regularly try AF periods and we talk about it so there are no secrets. 2 of them took my lead of abstaining for 90 days and did it themselves, one got to 100 days and the other one to 150 days so they will be very supportive of me not drinking. They are both "moderating" at the moment and the 3rd friend is fairly controlled in her drinking anyway in normal times, but this weekend will be one where everyone lets their hair down a bit because we are all together and we were supposed to go away in March and it didn't happen, so there will be a bit of a party vibe to the weekend..I know it will be a huge trigger for me to think I deserve it, I've had a month off, yaddah, yaddah, blah blah blah....I am sure you all know the drill!

Bad luck @wickelfish! Up you hop back on the wagon.

I think I'm the only one that isn't saving money from being AF, at least at home. I used to just buy beer and wine... Now I buy AF beer, diet ginger beer, cucumber fizzy water (like a box every two days, it's awful!), Peppermint tea, decaf coffee and cranberry juice

But @Hangingover does all that add up to the same as the beer and wine cost you? I found myself dithering about whether to buy some nice cordial on the grounds that it is rather expensive. Yet it's a fraction of the price of the alcohol I used to buy almost nightly. Messed up.

I went ahead and bought the Sweaty Betty leggings! It's all your fault, teetotal running people 😁🏃‍♀️🥤

Hurrah @Drybird2020! You won’t regret it!

I just had the nicest AF weissbier- totally recommend it if you like AF beer - Franziskaner.

Well done @Drybird2020 on treating yourself!!! You totally deserve it and won’t regret it😍 Another brand I quite like is Tikiboo - Their patterns are absolutely crazy which I love, not the same quality as Sweaty Betty but the slightly thinner material is better suited to summer runs (Sweaty Betty quite thick).

@jess3817 I cover a similar mileage over those 100 minutes. I don’t care at all about speed/pace (I’m slow too @Drybird2020!), but I do like trying to improve on my distance. After completing C25K I just kept adding 10 minutes to each long run and now I can quite comfortable keep going for 2 to 3 hours😱 At my own slow pace! I tend to run to time rather than distance, I find it less intimidating.

Ugh I don’t think I made any sense just now when talking about time/distance. All I meant is I’m slow and I don’t mind being slow, but I do like to run for a loooong time. I love my longer runs! But rather than saying “I’m going for a 15 km run” I’ll say “I’m going for a 110 min run”, I find it less intimidating as I know I can always slow down if I’m feeling knackered🤩🥵😂

I just sat next to my mum who was drinking a glass of white wine and it STANK!! Absolutely foul. I had to get up and walk away. I think I’ve been taken over by body snatchers!!

@Drybird2020 you're welcome! I'm going to have to take a look at sweaty Betty now you've all been talking about them.
@BunniesBunniesBunnies I'm not brave enough for tikibos 😂 that is so wierd, up until I started trying to get the 5k a bit quicker ( no under 30 mins yet ) I had for about a year been running in time ! - 45 min, 1 hour, 1.30 etc. Because the time is the time, the distance will be what it is. I just use to have the stop watch showing on my Garmin, and switch the laps off. Took the pressure right off , so much more enjoyable - usually ended up running quicker as was running to how I feel. I use to look at the watch and think ooh I'm going to quick I won't be able to sustain it and then slow down.
My beloved ginger beer keeps being out of stock😭 3 shops I've been to! Whose taking it all 😂

@SparklingLime 😂 that's cheered me right up - hope it'll be the same for me.
My first test next week. My twin brother and sister in law are coming down - haven't seen them since Feb, can't wait. They're staying in a local hotel. Outside seating area, local meadows surrounding it, family meet up. You get the idea. Wish me luck. Tbf they're all more like to make a thing of it by not drinking booze😂 I've told them all if they don't have a drink ill be cross because, I'm vegan and they're all so lovely and eat vegan of we are all at my mums so I don't want them to not drink just coz I'm there. Iyswim . They're not heavy drinkers anyway. 1 or 2 that's it.

Day 86 and it's my birthday. First time in 37 years that not a drop of alcohol has passed my lips on my birthday. Can't quite believe it.

Happy, happy birthday @myhandsareverycold! What an achievement. 🎂

Good morning
Thanks so much all of you for the supportive messages. I honestly felt yesterday that I'd lost my way and the ingrained habits are too strong to break. But I so enjoyed how it felt to be clean and sober and rested last week that I realised its actually pretty simple to get back on board and carry on doing what feels good.

I have learned so much in the last week. I began to realise that I'm chronically tired and drinking was probably the reason why, poor sleep and going to bed later. I learned that I can fall asleep perfectly well without alcohol, I eat less when I'm not drinking, I lost 3lb without even trying!

I have a really worrying health issue to deal with at the moment and all drinking has done is raise my stress and anxiety levels.

So, thanks for having me back!

Excellent return to sober life, @wickelfish! I think it’s that resilience that is so important for us long-term. 👍🏽

Happy AF Birthday for yesterday, @myhandsareverycold! 🍰 🎈

@myhandsareverycold happy birthday for yesterday

Well done @wickelfish!!!

Ugh I am not feeling it today!!! All my kids are overtired and grumpy and I am overtired and grumpy. I know it would just be worse with booze but ugh ugh ugh. Some days are just brutal!!! Planning a run tonight so counting the hours till then...

Happy birthday @myhandsareverycold and brilliant to see you back @wickelfish. You've got a great start from last week so crack on :-)

HBD @myhandsareverycold

Checking in. AF but half a pie. First period in 5 years FML.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I'm off to France for 4 days on Saturday so that will be another challenge.

Hey @wickelfish, I always feels the benefit of someone in your position sharing your story. It's a reminder of what I'm not missing out on whenever I think about even a return to moderate drinking and I do still have fleeting thoughts of it from time to time. In fact, I'm sure I dreamt about doing so the other night. It's really great that you are feeling the benefits of being AF too and I hope your health worries can be overcome.

Happy birthday @myhandsareverycold and have a lovely time in France.

Belated birthday wishes @myhandsareverycold. Hope you had a great day!

Glad you're back on board @wickelfish. Onwards and upwards!

Having the crapiest few days I've had in a long time. A ' friend' was absolutely vile to me yesterday, some of the things she said were horrid, can't believe it, no coming back from that so I've blocked her on everything apart from text - she's now bombarding me. To top it off my husband has been totally unreasonable / argumentative etc today to. I've done the running and yoga. And no I won't drink because I'm not going to give hem the satisfaction and I will feel really shit if I do bit, wow, I could so do without having to think about anything right now.

Hi everyone, I have been on this thread a few times before and would love to be a regular poster again.

Day 1 for me, I have been moderating but I don't ever feel great, so I need to quit. Alcohol does nothing for me at all.

I have been quietly lurking and have gained alot from the amazing success stories. I cannot imagine getting to 100 days like some of you amazing people.