Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Huge high fives to @Cyllie33, @Hangingover, @Teetotallyimperfect and @BunniesBunniesBunnies - I am so excited for you :-) Day 15 for me and I am loving this more every day, I literally feel as if I have been given a wonderful present. Just need to hang on to that feeling 😃

Loving all these postive messages!!!!!! Well done guys!!!! Day 97 for me and I am feeling SO. FUCKING. ZEN. Which is hands down the best thing about being sober for me. Also running lots and lots and lots!

@Teetotallyimperfect well done you and don’t worry about the smoking, you will get there. One step at a time! Haven’t had a cigarette in a week and it feels really good. When you’re ready to stop you’ll know it!

Keep up the good work all!

Place-marking on this lovely thread and will read through when I have time. I'm currently on a 'dry' spell (in a good way)! and I've forgotten how good it feels to not be low level boozing all the time (little and often is my usual in-take)

Well done everyone 💪

It's so exciting making positive change happen in your life. Did a stinking workout today, made a lovely stew and sipped decaf while listening to a philosophy book and doing my Pusheen embroidery. Early night and melatonin for me Keep going guys, we're doing great!

PS. Who was my fellow vegan on this thread? Got a hack for you for stew liquid. Some "beef" stock cubes are vegan, chuck one in as well as some ground coriander, cumin, black pepper and, critically, a lug of balsamic vinegar and a spoon of sundried tomato pesto. Absolutely umami-licious!

Just wanted to say hi. Hoping to be AF as of today and I think checking in here might help. I've tried a few different approaches with not much success. Just taken four bags of bottles to the recycling so perhaps that's a start. DH has been supportive but I can see how much it hurts him and our child. I just cannot believe I've got into this situation and desperate to find some way to change it.

Welcome @chainsofsilver and @PamelaPeaches, come and join us 😎 It’s well worth going back and reading the old threads when you have time, especially the recommendations for books and podcasts. Once you’ve made the decision there is great support available.

@Hangingover that was me 👋 thank you! I will Definitely try that next time I make a stew.@chainsofsilver @PamelaPeaches welcome to the thread. Certainly helps coming on here for support

Anyone else reading the "how much do you spend on alcohol" thread in amazement/horror! If I'd put my former weekly spend on booze on the thread they'd all reach for their smelling salts!!

Fantastic news on the milestones, it's great to see how people become stronger over time. 😁

@hangingover, Oh FFS, ‘Half a fruit cider every 2-3 months’ people annoy me. There. I said it.

Yah me as well. I text my friend (ex addict too) the other day saying "I've just seen a woman take one sip of her wine in half an hour" she replied "what's her problem"

My annoyance is obviously from a place of envy because some people can moderate and I can't HOWEVER we must remember that people who appear to be moderating may in fact not be. In my book it says half the alcohol sold in the UK is not accounted for in the amount people report they drink.

(but also I suspect people who drink a lot and know they do don't go on threads like that for fear of being scorned. Being addicted to something widely normalised and highly addictive is definitely something we're told to be ashamed of )

"we must remember that people who appear to be moderating may in fact not be. In my book it says half the alcohol sold in the UK is not accounted for in the amount people report they drink"

Must admit this was my first thought as well...

Hello @chainsofsilver @PamelaPeaches, nice to have you! I second @jess3817 advice, really worked for me. And post often to keep us updated with your achievements!

Day 8 for me and happy to have a week under my belt. DP has a stinking hangover so I feel extra virtuous today

Have stopped reading that thread actually because it's making me hate myself and want a whole bottle of wine

Hi hope the weekend is treating everyone well.
Day 8 for me. No real cravings or pangs as yet.
I am a bit worried that as I was not a daily drinker then I won’t really be tested until I’m in a social situation. I am a social smoker and can go weeks and weeks without thinking about a cigarette, but the minute I had a few drinks the cigs would come out.
So my resolve is not being tested at the moment re drinking and I haven’t had to use any willpower in that regard yet.
Anyway, am enjoying a lovely sober weekend after last Sunday’s hangover from hell 🤢

Lovely to hear about people’s hangover free Sunday mornings. I went for a 5km jog rather than wanting to vomit and then shoving McDonald’s or pizza (or both) in my face. So that was nice

Well done on day 8 @EffieJeffie and @Ifnotnowthenwhen5 - you are twins :-)

Enjoyed my AF beer last night and looking forward to another lovely evening AF tonight - I am actually loving being AF even though I am only on day 16.

Like you @EffieJeffie I am loving this right now. My biggest fear at the moment is that this euphoria about not drinking won't last but I am so grateful for it right now as its making everything so much easier. Listening to a podcast right now where someone is tackling about their "alcohol-free adventure" which is a description I love.

Kudos to everyone who is struggling, you guys are incredible. Hope everyone's weekend is a lovely peaceful one.

@Cyllie33 LOL! yes, that sounds more fun ;-)

Being an adventure is so true @Ravenswick - like my Sunday morning what’s really helping me is seeing being AF as exciting and full of opportunity...certainly not a punishment or having to go without something.

Oh my god I’m so upset. I’ve just drunk a beer by accident. I had only non alcoholic in the fridge but a neighbour gave my husbands some beers and I drank one. I opened the other one and then my husband was like - You realise they are alcoholic right?! And of course I hadn’t😭😭😭

I was sick straight away and crying, just feeling so upset. My husband thinks I’m overreacting but I’m so angry with him for putting them in the fridge without telling me.

We have alcohol around (for him, though he drinks very little) but I know what it looks like and I don’t touch it. It doesn’t bother me.

This has totally broken me though. 98 days and now what? Do I have to start from zero? Even if I don’t I will always know I am a liar and a cheat. I feel so upset about this. It didn’t taste any different, I didn’t feel anything.

I don’t know why but I feel so so so broken right now. I just cannot go on. Just why. I was doing so well.

By the way it was not just a sip, it was a whole little bottle (Beck’s style) and a few sips from a second one.

I find my husbands reaction so upsetting as well. All he cares about is the children, and shielding them from my emotions. He doesn’t seem to care about how I feel right now. I feel so betrayed.

I know it’s not his fault. I just feel so low right now.

@bunniesbunniesbunnies, deeep belly breaths! This is not a disaster. It was a mistake and entirely unintentional. You have permission to make a mistake, we all do. I do appreciate that you are upset and thrown right now, but with a little time and perspective I hope you’ll be able to see that this is still day 98 (99?) of CHOOSING not to drink alcohol. Nothing has changed on that count. Truly, this does not have to ruin anything. You will wake up tomorrow and carry on, AF and doing a great job of it.