Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Ravenswick I have though about that and currently have an outfit sitting in checkout at sweaty Betty! My DH is nearly having a heart attack at the daily amazon et al deliveries.

hangingover I am very envious I have previously experienced the pink cloud but not this time.

I had it for like a day right at the beginning but generally after that has been a bit of a grind. It literally may just be because summer seems to have suddenly come back to West Aus and it's utterly, utterly gorgeous. I hope it last although it makes me feel slightly unhinged!

Only for those who say they enjoy reading about my ridiculousness here follows a field report on the nude photo shoot - disregard if not as completely off topic.

DP, who just like me likes novelty and is vain, was the one who was keenest to do the photos so I found it really funny when in the car on the way to the sand dunes where we were doing the pictures he developed nervous verbal diarrhea and started jabbering on to the photographer about how the four wheel drive worked (he didn't know) - it was a facinating and rarely seen moment of man to man interaction where they are both straight and one knows he's about to get his lad out in front of the other at the top of a sand dune with a panoramic view of the town... Anyway when we got there I was slightly taken aback to see that, far from the deserted miles of empty sand dunes I'd seen when we visited during lockdown, the dunes are in fact a tourist attraction complete with bloody quad bikes and sandboards for hire... So we drove to the furthest bit and I kept a wrap close by to dive under whenever a quad bike came near...

Was actually a real hoot once we got going... Photographer put us right at ease (picture a 20 ft tall broad Aussie accented ex-soldier bellowing "nah, DPName, bit more to the right mate your dick's still in the shot) ...
Also any lingering prejudice I had against him for being a bloke and therefore maybe having deviant intentions were put at ease when he made me sit in one position for ages to get a close-up of a particular muscle in my back or the bottom of one foot etc. rather than any rude bits.

Did loads of arty shots of me draped artistically over DP looking like I've been hit on the head with something heavy with both of us sucking our tummies in as hard as possible.

Also one rather sweet one of us holding hands from behind with our little white un-tanned bums. Might have the one on the bedroom wall.

TL;DR topped up all-over suntan, good craic, sand in places one should never get sand. Would highly recommend.

@Rupertpenrysmistress please can we swap for a bit😂 You can have my exercise vibes for a bit, I really need to be productive around the house😂

@Hangingover your pink cloud sounds nice!!! I’m not sure I ever had pink cloud but even now (19 weeks in) I get days were I feel so utterly content, and I just feel in a “good mood” for no reason. This comes after a winter of feeling miserable and really low so it’s lovely to feel in a happy mood😍

@Hangingover your story of the nude photo shoot really made me laugh😂😂😂 I cant believe your DP got naked, too!!! Mine is far too British for that😂

Are you still coming back to the U.K. or are you staying put in Aus for a bit?

He's also been following me around the house all afternoon. He even brought me a coffee without asking and said, "I made you this, hope it's okay".

No we have to leave at the end of October because Visas It's for the best really as I have flat/pets/total lack of job music to be faced (and am broke as two broke things) but it's bloody annoying given the weather has turned heavenly again. Maybe will be life model. Would mean endless cuppas from DP at the very least.

ROFL at you and DP @Hangingover 😂 Just so you know what you’re missing, it’s passing down here, blowing a gale (of course, it’s still “summer”) and even thought of flinging kit off and scampering in the buff through sand dunes is enough to make me shiver 👀 it sounds a right laugh in the right climate though and interesting effect on DP 😎
I can’t imagine you are looking forward to coming back and tough time of year to do that From Oz as well 😱 Don’t think about that right now...😬

Sorry, passing should have been pissing, naturally...👀

I am sure your elderly relatives will be delighted with the 2021 calendar, @Hangingover 😁😁😁

Great to see you @BunniesBunniesBunnies! Glad the holiday went well. I was wondering where you'd got to. 😊I've been running loads too, but not this week as have a stinking cold which unfortunately necessitated a covid test for me and the kids, and time off work and school while we waited for the results. I think there will be a lot of this over the next few months... It's made me realise how much I now depend on running to keep my moods steady, I'm missing it badly.

@Cyllie33 you still with me pal? I can smell day 90!

@Drybird2020 @Hangingover I’m crying at the thought of a calendar😂

Sorry to hear you’re stuck at home @Drybird2020! Hope the test is clear and you feel better soon!

I’m quarantining right now after my holiday😭😭😭 and really miss running!!! My eldest and I have started a fun “staircase mountain challenge”: You calculate the height of a step on your stairs and then multiply by number of steps. Once you know the height of your stairs you can work out how many flights you need to climb to get to the top of famous mountains. It’s quite fun and you get surprisingly sweaty running up and down your stairs dozens of times!!!

Brilliant stories Hanging! Meant to ask.. are you Irish? I love the expression 'Lads' as a 'listen up now' phrase... noticed Marian Keyes uses that. Love it.

Think I'm slowly getting into the bit someone else mentioned where I don't need a special AF drink in a nice glass, or as much AF beer. Just feels normal to not have that in an evening. There's no trigger. Think that must be good thing.

I'm not but I'm highly impressionable and have listen to the Marian Keyes and Aisling books over and over and over

We spend our Friday evening being educated about stars at the observatory by an insane dutchman. It was brilliant - beats getting shitfaced on the sofa. Unfortunately it was too cloudy to see any actual stars but we admired the telescopes with enthusiastic noises.

@Hangingover loving the photo shoot story 😂

@ Bunnies - grear idea you have there with the stair case challenge, have seen a few people on Facebook doing similar.

@PamelaPeaches I've been feeling the same recently, well apart from on holiday, not really needing or even thinking about drinking anything in the evenon at all, wich like you say, I guess is a good thing.

@Drybird2020 hope the results come back quickly and negative so you can get back out there running as soon as.

Hope you all have a fab weekend.

@Hangingover the photoshoot sounds like great fun . Love the idea of calendars for the rellies! And how lovely to have those photographs to look back on in years to come.

Feel better soon @Drybird2020.

Actually finished C25K today and felt so amazing! And it's day 13 of no smoking. A few mild cravings but nothing terrible. I swear so many positive things hsve started with me stopping drinking. I keep thinking back to my drinking a few years ago and wondering what my life would be like now if I had carried on. Feeling so grateful today.

Morning everyone! Dropped off for a bit as work is crazy but day 29 here Just popping by to say hello!

Hello again team, last day of hols for me, making the most of a lazy day @iamyourequal glad all is well - realised I am on week 8 not 7, day 56 done and dusted yesterday 😎
Had a week of more than usual thinking about wine - only momentary, not cravings, maybe as I’m on hols, but not really tempted. Would love to get to your stage @PamelaPeaches and @jess3817 - step by step (or stair by stair - go @BunniesBunniesBunnies👍).
Have a good weekend folks, take care ❤️

@Teetotallyimperfect massive well done on finishing the C25K!!!!!!! Such a great achievement and what a great gift to yourself. What’s your next running goal? (Come ooon you know there is one😱😜)

And a huge well done on the not smoking. I’m doing better than before on that front too (though still wary I might slip... Waiting and hoping for that feeling to pass)

Checking in at my nearly 3 week mark (tonight ). Not finding it too hard, a couple of moments of a thought passing by, especially on a Friday but it goes. Saturdays have never been such an issue. I even managed a small outdoor pizza party last night with a couple of friends who i would normally join them in wine but i took along a nice ginger beer.

I am most impressed with all the C25K tales, i have started about 3 times in life and love it for a few weeks then for some reason stop. I do like walking though and used to be part of a women's walking group in the hills i live in. Might catch up with them and rejoin.

Well done to all the AF birthdays, holidays and high days and well done too the AF normal boring days. Maybe just as hard sometimes. And loving the sand in your bits stories from Oz hangingover.

I have been treating myself to books instead of wine. I have absolutely no guilt about downloading a book onto my kindle app and am devouring them at the moment. Just finished Life after Life, An American Marriage and Station 11.

This weeks view from the yoga mat - I was listening to a book on one of the Yoga philosophy texts this week and the author was talking about habits (samskaras) and how self will can have the power to change them. Everytime we have a thought and don't follow it down a path then we strengthen our self will a little more. (And everytime we follow it , self will is weakened or lessened) I liked that. So instead of topping up a glass with red wine last night i topped up my self will. And when my self will is stronger it all becomes so much easier. And new healthier samskaras are made.

Happy AF weekend folks

@Teetotallyimperfect well done on finishing c25k and not smoking!
@Ifnotnowthenwhen5 29 days is amazing well done!
@Ravenswick you will do - just carry on doing what you're doing, just one day at a day eh. Does get much easier as time goes on.

• one day at a time

@BunniesBunniesBunnies loving your mountain step challenge. I've seen a few people doing it on my walking group. I might give it a try. Although I'll wait until my new fitbit strap arrives because as everyone knows steps don't count if they're not actually counted

Congratulations on 3 weeks, @Breathmiller, that's a solid start. It gets easier, too.

I'm covid free but still down with a shitty cold. It's been a tough 3 weeks since we went back to work/school but I have had absolutely no desire to drink and have barely thought about it other than a twinge of satisfaction when marching down he booze aisle, unperturbed, in search of ginger cordial.

I have had absolutely no desire to drink and have barely thought about it

I dream of this. Teach me your sobriety ways, cordial wizard.

Pink clouds are SO fucking gone it's unbelievable. In fact i had a wild fantasy of taking a bottle of rum to the beach last night and drinking myself into a coma in the waves. I don't like rum nor have any nor had any means of obtaining any means of obtaining any but you get the idea.

It sunny again today but DP is cross with me and I've slept all morning.

Ho hum. Rough with the smooth I guess.

@Drybird2020 “... a twinge of satisfaction when marching down he booze aisle, unperturbed, in search of ginger cordial” - This really made me laugh! I often march down the booze aisle in that way😂😂😂

Eek @Hangingover that sounds tough. What brought on the wild fantasy and why is your DP cross?

@Breathmiller congrats on your milestone!!! And I sooo relate to your Fitbit comment😂😂😂 I did 100 flights the other day without my watch. I was sooo upset! Then I really had to give my head a wobble, I still did the fucking flights after all😂😂😂

🤩🤩🤩🎂🎊🎉 20 weeks for me today!!!🎉🎊🎂🤩🤩🤩

I am feeling so grateful and relieved today. When I quit booze 20 weeks ago today I never thought I would still be here, 20 weeks later, booze free. In my darkest times I desperately wanted to be like my “old” self again. I’m a bit like my old self now, but sooo much better. I am calmer, stronger and happier. I am kinder to other people because I know what it is like to struggle myself. I laugh more, I sleep better, I enjoy family time. And the other night I realised that for the very first time in the longest time, I was proud of myself. I hadn’t felt that way in forever.

Thank you all for being awesome inspirations in your own way, whether you are on Day 3, Week 3, Month 3 or Year 3! Pretty sure I wouldn’t still be here without you all! Okay, soppy speech over😂 Next goal - 6 months!🤩