Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Thanks for sharing @Oldhabitsarehardtobreak

My DP didn't take me completely seriously at first either but once I spelled it out to him he eventually got it and supported me. Have you sat him down and really explained that this is very important to you? I know doing that is scary because that's your "way back" gone!

@Hangingover he’s spent months telling me I need to stop drinking so much/give up so it’s not as if he’s unaware alcohol is an issue. I think he’s so used to me saying ‘oh go on then’ so he can have a guilt free drink & make it my fault! Glad your DH is supportive.
Still, I held strong so will be able to get up and do my yoga with a clear head in the morning

Hi all, checking in on a night I desperately need a drink. Not sure I’ll make it to day 70 with you @Hangingover even tho only two hours to go. had no time off work this year and am just about at breaking point. Thought of just drowning myself in a bottle of wine is very tempting. Not sure I even care about the consequences even tho I need to be back at work in less than 12 hours. I’d just like to sleep.

Will catch up with everyone’s messages. You’re all amazing.

And my sodding try dry app is sodding broken. I haven’t checked a day off since weds as been so busy and thought I’d tick them off to stop myself having a drink. It just gives me an error message saying ‘there seems to be a problem’. No shit try dry app, I definitely have a fucking problem.

Oh no @Cyllie33 that sounds so hard!!! Will wine really help you though, especially with work tomorrow? Hang in there, you’ve got this

@Cyllie33, sorry, I didn’t see your post til now. I hope you got a good night’s sleep without drinking, I know that would have just made this morning so much worse 😞 for the app either delete and reinstall or try a different one. I use I am sober; you can set your original start day so you won’t lose the whole count.

Thank you. I’ve read what you all shared and thank you to everyone on here for those and all the posts. It’s a wonderful thread. I might share mine at a future date. I have reinstalled the app and ticked day 70 off. I have two apps @ravenswick - no half measures here (there never have been that’s my problem...) but my other one is Sobertime which has a timer. I might download the one you suggested two. I had three AF Brewdogs and chain smoked the cigarettes I quit months ago but I didn’t drink alcohol. It was helpful to check in here. Back to work after I’ve chainsmoked some more (but with coffee not a morning vodka).

Day 70 @Cyllie33 well done, that’s amazing! Sorry last night was a struggle but you got through. 👏🏻

@Cyllie33 WELL DONE!!!! Sod the fags, you didn't drink. I am so glad for you.

It's so interesting to read the responses to @Hangingover's questions. I'll do them one at a time if that's OK - my phone has a habit of eating long posts I make.

Well done @Cyllie33 for sticking with it and congrats on day 70! That's amazing! Starting day 26 here.
Thanks all for this group!

Thank you @BunniesBunniesBunnies and @Ulysses. I'm going to order today!

I am loving reading your stories and found myself nodding along to much of what you've shared. I'll add mine later.

Well done @Cyllie33. You did it! Day 70 ticked off - amazing!

I was so tempted to drink last night. Had an awful day at work (resulting in tears) and then we went to the pub with family for the first time since March. I so wanted a large glass of wine to drown out the day but kept doing the 'play it forward' trick so many of you have talked about. I also thought about all of you and this thread and knew I'd be cross with myself. And this morning I'm so glad I didn't drink.

Well done on day 26 @NeedAUserNameAllTaken. Almost a month!

Checking in and high fiving @Cyllie33 and @Teetotallyimperfect - FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC :-) Now have a big smile on my face, you guys rock!

Congrats too @NeedAUserNameAllTaken - all for one and one for all - on we go :-)

Well done for having the resolve @Cyllie33 and @Teetotallyimperfect you made it!

And congratulations @NeedAUserNameAllTaken.

Thanks for sharing your stories as well. It's a beautiful sunny day here, and I don't feel like soul searching too much and in short drinking alcohol was something that crept up on me during the past few years. Life's has had it's ups and downs and it's on the up now so it's given me the strength to let go of something that's been a drain on time, money and energy and I'm so much happier without it.

The four of us went for a meal yesterday and DH knows the owner, and he was offering us beer and wine on the house. He was just being a lovely host and I must admit for a moment I did have a fleeting thought of why not just the one, but it quickly passed and I am so glad I didn't. In fact it was really easy for me to say I'll have a lemonade instead and had a great time regardless.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

@Cyllie33 huge well done to you for not drinking, don't worry about the cigarettes.
Haven't had time to read everyone's stories, wI'll do mine once I'm back off of holiday. @Ulysses well done to you to for sticking with the lemonade.

Had a bit of a moment myself earlier after arriving and checking in, took the kids to the massive park that's here and every one seemed to be drinking. Was thinking, I'm on holiday, I'll have one or two, cam go back to not drinking at home, etc etc you know the story. You'll be pleased to know I've had 3 af beers. Was glad to have swevered that one. And the thought I won't be feeling like shut in the morning feels good

Nice one @jess3817, the AF beers have really been a life saver for me in this hot weather I must admit, and no hangover and no dehydration are a serious bonus 😎

Well, my extension to dry July is going well. I’m not even missing the Friday and Saturday night drinks. It didn’t even occur to me, until 10pm last night, that it was a Saturday and I would normally be drinking wine. I was quite happy with sparkling water (I got through a whole 2l bottle last night!).

A few things that have helped me:
Organising books, some quit lit and some fiction, into a to do list. So that I have a plan and a distraction ready.

As above with films and TV series.
Planning something for early Sat/Sun morning, ideally something active like a hike or run. Plan it with a friend so you would feel bad about dropping out last minute due to a hangover.

I read a book called The Outrun by Amy Liptrot this week. It is about a young woman with an alcohol problem who returns to Orkney, from London, to fix herself. It’s absolutely beautifully written.

I’ve seen it mentioned on Reddit a couple of times, so thought I’d give it a go. I’m glad I did, as it’s one of the best I’ve read so far. Along with Wild, by Cheryl Strayed.

Well done @jess3817 - it's hard when people around you are drinking. And I get that voice that says "you can always just stop again" except I know i might stop again the first time, but then soon the drinking days would start to join up again. That's what happened to me last time I stopped and thought I could have a 'day off'.

It's interesting you mention feeling hydrated @Ravenswick. I actually get thirsty now and I'm not sure I used to when I was drinking. Not in the same way as I do now anyway. I love an AF beer but hardly ever drank alcoholic beer. I mostly have ginger cordial with fizzy water these days unless I'm at the pub. Although the pub I went to friday didn't keep their AF beers in the fridge which i thought was crazy! Who would want a like warm beer?

Thanks for the book recommendation @RachelLyg. I'll add it to my wish list!

@RachelLyg I loved Wild, amazing book. The film isn’t quite as good but watchable. I will try to track down The Outrun.

@Ulysses @jess3817 @Teetotallyimperfect well done for resisting in those circumstances.

@Ravenswick I’m finding I am extra thirsty now I’m not drinking alcohol. Odd.

We had a bbq yesterday, as the coal lit I did think how I’d usually be 2 (large) glasses of wine in by the time the food was cooked. I did have a talking to DH after he suggested alcohol the night before, he apologised & said he wouldn’t mention it again. We both had sparkling water last night. I was up 5 times in the night. How come I don’t need the loo all night after a bottle & a half of wine but a couple of glasses of water has me up all night?

Day 44 AF.

"How come I don’t need the loo all night after a bottle & a half of wine but a couple of glasses of water has me up all night?" Dehydration is a big factor when drinking alcohol :-)

Interesting that you and @RachelLyg are more thirsty - I'm finding that unless I'm really careful I am drinking too much (water) now that I am AF and like you then find I'm up in the night. I think its because drinking (say) half a litre of liquid (AF) hydrates, whereas the same amount of something alcoholic dehydrates.

I think I was thirsty last night due to going out for a long afternoon walk in the heat . That said I can’t seem to get enough sparkling water at the moment (considering investing in a soda stream, so I can make my own).

Thanks for all the messages 🙂 very glad to wake up clear headed this morning -well I didn't sleep well really as the curtains in our bedroom in the caravan are thin and flimsy - so I was out on a run at 745 am! I never run this early, it was great, got a few youre mad looks as I was running around😂 hope you're all having a good weekend.

loved Wild, amazing book. The film isn’t quite as good but watchable. I will try to track down The Outrun.

I think if you liked Wild (book) then The Outrun would also be your cup of tea.

Wild (book) is more real and hard hitting than the film IMO. The FOM (as Hollywood tends to do) is more glossy and aimed at a wider audience. That said, the real star of the film is the Pacific Crest Trail itself, it’s worth watching just to see that, absolutely stunning.

FOM means film - don’t know what autocorrect did there .

Another one here peed like a horse for my first month's AF.