Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I get it about running now. I'm still going every other day as part of my strategy to protect my ageing knees but I itch for a run on my rest days. My new leggings were waiting for me when I got back from holiday, I see what the fuss is about now!!

@Ravenswick I have the drinking dreams too. It's always a relief to wake up, sober.

@RachelLyg I read Blackout. Scary stuff, particularly as some of it reminded me of me. I always had a narrative that the cultures of my school and university were booze oriented and that everyone was partying hard, but now I wonder how much of it was me partying hard and not noticing that not everyone did? I met up with an old friend the other day and told her I had stopped drinking. She has always drunk very little and received the news with zero drama. For some people it's just not a big deal not to drink. I always saw it as a big deal because I had a problem with it. That's the end of Thought for the Day. 😊

The biggest imminent fear is actually the flight (or flights as it will be) themselves.

I have a life long crippling phobia of flying and only started doing it in the last 5 years.

At first a combination of white wine and valium made me calm enough to at least quietly cry rather than completely freak out.

However after the valium addiction/rehab saga I switched to white wine and OTC cocodamol (not as good but helped).

I've flown once without wine (was late to airport) and it's not so much a case of making a scene as making a three act play.

I can't help it, I have panic attacks and can't stop myself from saying things like "I can't breathe" and "my chest hurts" which (understandably) completely puts the shits up the cabin crew. I even did a little yelpy scream once when it was bumpy I can't imagine that the visor and mask they make you wear is going to help either

I've got a few options:

• seek valium from a doc here as a one off (they'd never know about the previous addiction but I imagine DP won't be at all happy)
• drink as a one off (doom)
• do neither and risk not getting on the plane (I get this overwhelming desire to bolt when in the walking tube thing - wtf are they called?) or being asked to get off. £900 down the drain and cause huge delay to other passengers (loads of hold baggage).

I prefer option 1 as I'm far, far less worried about going back to vallies than drink. It was only because I had access to such an easy bottomless supply before that I used them so much.

Sorry to be such a drama lama.

Thank you dry bird I'm doing ok. Slept much better last night. I have the naked mind arriving today so will be getting stuck in to that. Hanging over that sounds really tough ☹️

@Hangingover, some of the airlines used to do courses for people with fear of flying - worth looking into? You sound like you need a strategy for coming back, and there must be better options than alcohol or valium (I hope so anyway!). What a nightmare though

@Drybird2020, once you've had really good running leggings you can't go back - call it self care

Air bridge! It's called an air bridge 😂 Not walky tube.

Noel I found Valarian Root and melatonin spray really helpful at the start with poor sleep, and keeping all the lighting low for an hour before bed 👍🏻

Derail but what are the runners doing about your hair?

I've been exercising every day and therefore having to wash my hair every day and it seems simultaneously greasy and too dry!

I'd be apprehensive about taking valium for the journey and suffering from jet lag on your return @Hangingover. That's not terribly helpful but I've been suffering with sleep recently and I've been resorting to Nytol OTC recently and I'm using them more and often than not it seems. I don't think I am hooked on it but when you are craving sleep you'll resort to whatever it takes.

Saying that jetlag isn't as bad if you are heading west, or is that a myth? We went to Oz on our honeymoon via Japan and I looked like death warmed up for the first few days!

Anyway, I've been having so many issues with my Sweaty Betty leggings - ordered them nearly 2 weeks ago and still waiting on them. They seem to be lost in transit - again! I hope they are worth the wait but I'm losing faith that I'll actually get them and their customer service isn't the best .

I've been running every 2nd day and it always looks best the few hours before I go for a run. I wash it afterwards but I'm resigned to not having great hair (fine, wispy and blond highlights to cover the greys).

Hmmm I’m maybe a bit gross (though I also don’t get too sweaty!) but I don’t wash my hair after every run as I run most days and my hair would look like shit if I washed it that much. Mostly I just wear it in a bun though...

@Hangingover that must be hard with the fear of flying. I definitely went through a phase of taking too much diazepam (Valium) but I never found it as addictive as booze?! So for me I’d probably take some diazepam to easy flight nerves, but only you can make that call depending on the nature and level of your addiction. Definitely lay off the booze, though, it really will just make you feel so much worse.

Thanks hanging over 🙂

Checking in. Busy thread! Happy holidays those of u holidaying. I am too and it's my first sober holiday for years. Amazing i actually feel quite rested!
I love running. Have a dicky knee so can't run as much as I like but went on a four mile walk today. It was lovely

Thanks chaps! It wasn't actually Dizapam I got hooked on I just tend to say that as it's quicker and easier...the drug I got addicted to is a much shorter acting benzo that behaves very similarly to lorazapam. From nervous wreck to blissed out in ten mins flat. Diaz I find is a slower up and down which is why the rehab place gave me that to wean me off them. They were, at that time, unregulated in the UK so I got my hands in them very easily. They're illegal now and I wouldn't know where to get them. I think I'll have to ask dp how he'd feel about it. He actually has some Diaz in his medicine kit for if his back goes so he might be able to help me out. Urgh feel like such a gross addict messhead!

Saying that jetlag isn't as bad if you are heading west, or is that a myth?

I've only done it a few times but for me it's SO much worse coming home. I felt awful for three days when I got back last time! If you get the direct flight and leave at night it's dark for the whole 19 hours!

@Hangingover how about finding a hypnotherapist and getting some support that way before you leave Oz? One of my DC has recently had some for an issue and it had helped so much.

always had a narrative that the cultures of my school and university were booze oriented and that everyone was partying hard, but now I wonder how much of it was me partying hard and not noticing that not everyone did?

I always think the root cause of my drinking was at Uni. I was at Uni during ladette culture - 1998 to 2001. Although, as you say, not everyone was doing it. I think I subconsciously surrounded myself with other binge drinkers, especially people who were worse than me - as that made me look not that bad, in my own eyes at least. The binge drinking carried on through my young professional years. I’ve toned it down since then but slip up frequently.

I’ve been taking an OTC “old style” drowsy anti histamine, called Phenergan. You can definitely buy it in Aus, as that’s where I first got it. It’s cheap as chips. Packet of 56 for about £7. I take two if I know I’m not going to sleep - if my mind is racing.

Hi everyone - just checking🙂 hope you're all doing okay. Regarding the hair washing for runners, I have very short cropped hair so doesn't take long at all for me to wah in the shower. Not much help I know sorry. The thread has got busy!. Am off on holiday ( UK caravan park etc) on Saturday, so excited to be going somewhere else!
5 months wine free today!

Wow well done @jess3817, amazing 👏have a great holiday, you deserve it! I’ve got short hair too, too lazy for anything else 😀

Congrats @jess3817!!! You are awesome!

Thank you both of you.@Ravenswick I love it ! So much easier short.

Congratulations, @jess3817!!!! 🎉🥤🥧🎉
Have a fantastic holiday. Don't forget to take your running shoes 😊

Thanks @Drybird2020! They are packed 😂 I may need a holiday afterward to recover, holiday and 4 kids isn't very relaxing 😂
Just about packed - will still be running round Saturday morning packing the last bits I expect.
Hope everyone is having a good day

@Hangingover walky tube
I hate flying too, so you have my sympathy. I hope things are easier on your return than you'd imagined.

Those of you with Sweaty Betty leggings.. would you say size up or down? I'm between sizes at the moment. I've chosen the leggings I would like and they're sat in my basket. They're going to be my reward for completing c25k (currently week 7). Hope yours turn up soon @Ulysses.

That's brilliant, @jess3817, well done! Have a fantastic holiday. I'm jealous of all of you who are off on holiday at the moment! Have fun!

@Teetotallyimperfect I would probably size down, only because the worst thing about leggings is when they fall down! Having said that I’m not between sizes though. They’re great witty returns though so perhaps size down then you can always return? Good luck!

They arrived today @Teetotallyimperfect! I'm a 10-12 and they are a small and fit perfectly, though I haven't been out for an actual run yet.

I'm quite short so got the 7/8 length and they come just above my ankle so will be fine in winter too. I went for boring black.

Have an awesome holiday @jess3817 and congratulations on your latest milestone.

I have a pair of black ones too! I wear them all the time!

Mine are black too. I love them so much. I ran 8k this morning (but it took an hour 😜)

@jess3817 I regret to inform you that I am still recovering from my "holiday" in the wilderness with my three feral children. And there are bin liners of washing still waiting, lined up in the hall.... Have fun tho!! 😜. Running will save your sanity.