Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Thank you both, thought I'd pop in and report back. Very determined and super Saturday won't break me.. I'm not a pub person anyway!

Thank you for this thread. I have committed to 1 year of being tee total. My problem is binge drinking, I dont go out much at all and when I get together with my friends I get over excited and drink too much. I cant handle it and it brings my evening to a premature end and I feel a fool.
A couple of weeks a go I had 2 pals over in the garden but they ended up having to put me to bed . In the morning I saw that I had puked on my bed and I was so ashamed. I've also had to buy all new bedding.
Next weekend is my birthday and my cousin is doing a bbq , I have already decided to come up with an ' antibiotics ' story , as she is the type of person to keep trying to make me have a drink.
Phew ! Feels so good to get all that out.

Hi All. It’s been good catching up on the thread and seeing how everyone is doing. I’m afraid I’m on a bit to offload, sorry. I’ve had a bit of a rubbish week and nobody to talk to in RL. I started a new role (same organization) and it looks like they are giving me full time workload again, athough I now work 4 days a week and this was a restructure in which this was meant to be acknowledged. This is something I can deal with but the worst part is my DH has been in a terrible mood all week, there has been a terrible atmosphere a lot of the the time but he won’t discuss it. He started the week feeling a bit unwell, to which I showed sympathy, made lighter meals, asked how he was, but it then morphed into grumpy near-stonewalling for a couple of days. He is now talking again but when I asked him what was wrong, he wouldn’t say any more than that he ‘wasn’t feeling very well’ I think I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself. I do all the shopping, cooking, laundry cleaning for the family, have a really busy job, am sick fed up being taken for granted. This week was meant to be a really happy one. But I started a new job and nobody has even asked me how it is. I hit 30 days AF earlier in the week for the first time ever. When I brought up my sobriety with DH he just kill the conversation with a one line response and that was that- didn’t want to discuss it. Nobody else knows I’ve given up alcohol for good, so he knows I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about it. I am sorry for the rant, especially on a Saturday. I know some of you have much bigger issues to face. Thanks for listening.

@iamyourequal you have done SO WELL to pass 30 days with all that going on. I'm really sorry your bloke is being a bit of a dick. Is he a drinker himself and perhaps threatened by your sobriety? And the work situation... Can you speak to someone soonest? If a week in it's nothing like the restructure was meant to be then it needs reassessing. Feel free to offload here whenever you need to, it's what the thread is for.

It's not super Saturday here so I'm watching nervously to see what happens in England. I think if I was there I'd be staying home too!

We are having a lovely first weekend of the holidays, a run for me, lego and baking, and the rain has finally stopped so we can get out in the garden to do a million jobs.

Welcome, @Dontforgetyourbrolly. Your decision is made and that’s major progress! 👍🏽

Thank you :)

@iamyourequal - I agree with drybird, he is being a bit of a dick - if it's any help I'm feeling a bit fed up too..Work all the hours and doing the majority at home. And well done on 30 days, that is fantastic.

Welcome @Dontforgetyourbrolly
@Drybird2020 what country are you in? 🙂

Today is my 4 months sober anniversary.🙌
I need a little off load to if you all don't mind. I'm a self employed cleaner, I've been back working 5 weeks now, and have now got all my customers back on board - horray! - I've actually got 2 more but one wants 7 hours a week and is being really demanding, not quite getting the point that she has to fit in around my regulars already because those are their time slots. Anyway, my husband doesn't work - he was made redundant end of last year, tried looking for work, nothing turned up - I want to expand my work by hiring someone if I need to, well I can't take any more work on unless I do, and he's told me I cant. Because he doesn't want to pay out for someone else. I suggested I train him up and he come and work for with me, kills two birds with one stone, nope doesn't like that idea either, so many excuses not to, but no, not allowed to hire someone. The same with learning to drive, I want to start that, even though most of my customers live very nearby, I could take on ones further afield, if I had another worker with me, but no, he doesn't want the expense of a car. I thought HE doesn't want to expense, it's me earning the flipping money!
Anyway..Sorry for the rant..As you were....

Jess I am in the uk

There’s, erm, quite a theme of controlling/selfish/unsupportive* husbands on this thread... 🤔

• delete as applicable

“Because he doesn't want to pay out for someone else.”
How would he be paying out? Why does he think he gets the final decision? Sounds like you’re getting ready to put your foot down, @jess3817 👍🏽

@iamyourequal well done on your 30 days🤩🤩🤩 Have you written a little list of all the main highlights of quitting? I’d love to hear! Two people on the thread did it the other day and it was so inspiring!!!

@jess3817 Your client doesn’t sound very understanding...! As for your husband... Is he even bringing in any money at the moment? If not, and childcare allows it, what on earth could be his excuse for not working alongside you???

It is YOU earning the money, and even if it wasn’t, if the family can afford it you should absolutely learn how to drive!!! As a self employed person it will increase your earning potential!!! (Also good grief, don’t you have 3+ children? How do you survive without driving?!?).

Honestly, please learn how to drive! It will feel so liberating! You will be so proud of yourself! Ask around among friends or a local Facebook group for recommendations for an instructor and off you go!🤩🤩🤩 🚗

That's exactly what I was thinking, @SparklingLime, so many of these awesome women have to live with men who sound not at all awesome. I notice this as a theme IRL too.

@stoptheride I omitted to congratulate you!!! Jolly well done. And you too, @jess3817. Do learn to drive (when feasible) and do grow your business if you want to. You don't need your husband's permission.

I am in Scotland. Think we might have a few Scots on here 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I have noticed that theme IRL also Drybird

Thanks so much ladies for your kind words of support this afternoon. I was welling up thinking that people I will probably never meet have such kind words for me. It’s such a support, especially now booze can’t do that job! Things have improved as the days gone on. His mood seems to have lifted and he even tidied up a bit when I was out. I think he must have at least reflected a bit on how he has been. I cheered myself up the way I usually do without wine- by buying a car full of plants! Now all planted, that’s why I’m late replying. Jess I really feel for you. Another DH who seems to think he has all power making decisions. I hope you get the chance to grow your business. Have confidence, stand your ground and go for it! Also congratulations on your 4 months . Fab!
Drybird your day sounds lovely. I remember the LEGO days fondly! My DH does drink most nights but thankfully not to noticeably drunk. I do worry for his future health though.
Welcome to The thread Dontforgetyourbrolly you have come to the right place.
Bunnies I love (because you kindly asked):
getting up fresh without an acid stomach and cloudy head;
Having better skin and eyes,
no longer feeling bloated,
Being more present for my kids in the evening,
I have more time to do things.

I am more productive at work in the morning.

My anxiety is much better (except this week..lol).
I love being able to drive at any time, not that I do much but nice to have that freedom!
I’m still living in hope I will start losing weight too.
Basically everything is better except the witching hour, and that occasional look on DH face of disappointment that I’ve refused real wine!
Have a lovely Saturday night everyone!

I’m in Scotland too Drybird. I think we checked before and quite a few of us were. People know the Scots can fair drink. Well, we can show them we can quit well too!

Glad things got a bit better for you @iamyourequal and I love your list!!!😍👍

Thanks for all the support 🙂 I am very exasperated to say the least. Bloody men! Everyone wonders how we cope without driving. But up until wanting to expand the business we've got on perfectly fine without it, go on holidays etc lol, obviously a bit more time consuming for days out but I guess you don't miss what you've never had 😂 but I do want to learn.
I have just eaten a nice big bowl of sweidsh glace ice cream with chocolate sauce😋 feeling much better now.

Hi all- dashing out so can't stop and chat but wanted to check in and give a big to Jess and iamyourequal and everyone.

And to say that one of the dreams of my entire life has been to go to visit Scotland so [wave] at our Scottish friends. :)

Hi, can I join please? 8 days AF.

I'm not sleeping well but feel much better overall. Clothes are looser, more calm, etc.

Morning all and thanks Bunnies & coldtea (you should definitely visit Scotland. Lots of it is beautiful but our weather is rather potluck!). I get your point Jess, I didn’t learn to drive until my late 20s it all depends where you live I guess and how easy it is to get around, but learning just keeps your options open a bit.
Welcome Bluewavescrashing nice to have you join, and you already have your first week under your belt. Nice one on the looser clothes. I need to lose a stone or two and just can’t seem to manage. Anyway, have a lovely Sunday all. Dead windy here this morning.

I love Scotland!!!😍 Had some of my favourite holidays there! The outer Hebrides are probably one of my fave places in the whole world!!!😍

And oh yeah - 12 weeks for me today!!! It will be 90 days on Saturday😱😱😱🤩🤩🤩

Welcome, @Bluewavescrashing. That sounds like a great start.
Happy Twelve Weeks of Success, Bunnies!

Checking in soldiers...day 36 and sunny here in Aus.

Thanks for the welcome

Hope everyone has a good day. I've sent DH out yo the garden centre with the DCs as I've had enough of them all bickering

I screwed that post up, please ignore. Will repost properly. Didn’t mean to tag Drybird twice either 🤦🏻‍♀️