Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Thank you, Ghost. Unfortunately I'm working today so pretty much stuck in front of a screen/on the phone all day, but I will definitely make an effort to get outside as soon as I finish

I'm very much an all or nothing person too - in just about every aspect of my life. I've been really good about curbing my sugar intake and then yesterday I had lemon meringue pie with double cream for breakfast and continued in that fashion for the entire day. That's probably why I'm grouchy!

Have a good day everyone

@avoidingthewineiasle, thankyou but all I’m getting at the moment is it will get better, that’s why I’m keeping the diary, to show them, I’ve had the menapause from hell and just want a hysterectomy now, I’m registered blind crippled with arthritis and really don’t need this crap on top of everything else,, but I’m not drinking and thank god every day for it. Hugs.

To everyone who slipped it can can happen hugs to you as well, we’re all here for each other.

A wise woman once told me that stopping drinking is easy, it's stopping the DESIRE to drink that's hard. Because when you desire something and are told you can't have it, you feel deprived and usually want the thing even more (also known as bloodymindedness!!).

She taught me to create a drink plan 24 hours in advance. Make it realistic. If you're drinking a bottle of night at the moment, going to zero at one go is unlikely to be a long term solution. Make a drink plan that says you'll drink a bottle. Then on day 2 make a drink plan that says the same thing or perhaps you'll drink 1 glass less than a bottle. Stick with that until you feel like reducing it more. While you may still not really be drinking much less when you first start this, drink plans give you back CONTROL over what you're drinking.

All the while figure out why you like drinking (if you do) and what your reason is to stop. That reason has to be so much more important than the reasons you give as to why you like it.

When you start getting one good night's sleep after another, that's a really good reason to work on getting rid of the desire for drink.

I’m sorry to hear you don’t keep well Holothane I hope your pain is easing up.

Ghost I’m really glad you posted, you too Haggisfish If we had all perfected sobriety we probably wouldn’t even need this thread! We learn from each other. I’m doing ok today, have my trusty Beck’s blue and I went for a walk when I had cravings earlier. BTW I Am loving the breakfast suggestions. I would love smoked salmon & eggs and lemon meringue pie! Way to go. It sounds a bit like The day after Boxing Day when I only eat trifle and cheesecake. . Here we are heading into a holiday weekend. Enjoy it everyone. It is my full intention to get through it completely AF. Fingers crossed. DH and I are decorating tomorrow so that will be a true test of my resolve!!

Thanks for your advice AnnaC. It all sounds a bit like dieting. Plan ahead, stick to it, and it will get easier once you start reaping the rewards....

Bit of pain this evening but bearable compared to yesterday, must put in diary, got apple and black currant juice in the bedroom, new routine hollicks at 11 Then talking book for a bit hopefully I’ll sleep better.

@iamyourequal not dieting as much as a plan. A diet is usually a restrictive thing, but this plan isn't. If you want to drink 2 bottles you put 2 bottles on it. The point is that you learn that you are in control, not the desire to drink.x

I'm glad I decided to stop rather than cut down. We bbqd last night (me and DH only) which was normally an excuse to have a glass or two extra. It was easier to just say no and to pour myself a lemonade, than to try to 'just have one' and decide which one . DH had 3 different drinks. As AnneC said it's stopping the DESIRE to drink that's hard , once I'd decided no for me I didn't miss it.
Thinking about it I don't want to let DH see me give in. He has always had more willpower, eg stopping smoking, than me.

Well done everyone for hanging on in there, even with the odd slip, 35 years @littlemeitslyn, amazing. Doubt I'll make that though as it would make me 101 - haha.
I get first my state pension this month. gin wine

Hi all
I'm still here, still dry and still fed up! No, actually, I do feel better, but just a bit flat...probably lockdown rather than sober-down!
I haven't had a chance to read the thread for ages, because work is manic trying to prepare for a possible re-opening of school after half term, and I have a lot on with other stuff too.
I'll catch up over the weekend, and am sending you all my best wishes - stay sober, stay alert etc., etc!!

34 years sober

I’m the same as you @EdwinaMay.

It’s actually easier for me to completely abstain than it is to try to moderate or ‘control’ my drinking (easier...not easy).

I find that constant self-policing of my drinking exhausting, and ultimately for every one time I successfully moderate, there are 3 or 4 times I don’t manage it. Soul destroying. I’d rather just stop.

Repeating myself, sorry

@Holothane I’m sorry you are in pain but I’m absolutely crack up at co codpiece autocorrect

How are you all doing this evening? Hope you aren’t having a hard time with cravings. I had to go shopping earlier and picked some beer up for DH ready for this evening. It’s the first time I have felt like I’m missing out. I decided to try something new to cheer me up. Tried Peroni 0.0% and Bottlegreen cordial sloe & juniper. Peroni on its own tasted gross IMO, too hoppy. So I added lemonade and that tasted pretty good, thanks @Pensylvan. The new Bottlegreen cordial tasted really nice with lemonade. It’s now my non-alcoholic alternative to pink gin.
I have quite a collection of cordials going now. The majority of them I have with soda water. 🙂

Those cordials look lovely. Most of the ready made drinks I find too sugary but I'm very bored of diet coke!
I'm on day 6, though did 6 days last week so I'm really hoping I can keep going this time. Listening a lot to Annie Grace (I have her two books on audible) and I'm really running with the 'i could if I wanted to, but let's think about it, do I really want it?'. I'm doing the shopping (DH doesn't drive and we're trying to go infrequently) which means I've bought him rum and beer.
So tonight I did an indoor bike ride for some endorphins, then had some pink grapefruit juice with tonic and lots of ice. I'm sat here feeling like I've cheated almost - my 'buzz' from the cardio is better than what I'd get with alcohol, I've got no fuzzy headedness or headache and I've got some new art materials for sketching tomorrow and a plan for more cycling and gardening (I could guarantee you that even if I just had 1-2 drinks tonight my sleep would be affected enough that I wouldn't do half of that tomorrow)

I taste tested these drinks.
The red one, pomegranate and hisbiscus, smelt of rose water and reminded me of old fashioned talcum powder. So a no for me.
The yellow one which I'd assumed would be lemon turned out to be pineapple and hisbiscus and tasted sherbety.
The green one, guava a lime, I liked best, quite refreshing and i would buy again but they are only 250ml (most cans are 330ml) and 1.20 each so pricey but only 45 calories which is good. So I will keep some in the fridge. And would be handy for after lockdown to take to social events as they're not too bulky.

Yes @AvoidingTheWineAisle, I've probably lost count of the number of times I've decided to 'cut back on my drinking'!
But could I just drink when out socialising? Have been pondering this. But probably shouldn't go down that path.

I'm on lockdown at home which imv makes it easier, just me and DH (I'm determined not to be annoyed by him!) , it must be hard if you are working. Any work stress (which was normally colleague stress) was always an excuse for a larger drink than usual in the evening.

@SophieB100 hope you get some time switch off and wind down this weekend.

@heatseeker14 I'm going to build myself a little collection of cordial too. Great idea! Might even try some mocktails!

@EdwinaMay thanks for the review. I definitely wat to try them. A good alternative to a tin of G&T on a picnic.

I also could not moderate. I've tried. The trouble is, one drink in and I wouldn't care less what my original plan had been. I've lost count of the times I've promised myself I'd just have one only to wake up with a hideous hangover.

Morning all!

@heatseeker14 and @EdwinaMay
They are some good no-alcohol hauls!
I’ve been going a bit mad with 0% drinks lately, too. I like a big gin glass of something cold and fizzy on the go when the weather is nice enough to go into my garden. At the moment I’ve got diet tonic water, bitter lemon, ginger ale, a few different Fever Tree tonics & some Fentiman’s pink lemonade in the fridge, plus plenty of ice & lemon stocked up. I’ve been trying out various ‘noseccos’, too, but nothing that’s really hit the spot yet.

@Teetotallyimperfect one drink in and I wouldn't care less what my original plan had been THIS IS ME! I’ve tried to moderate for years and the cold, hard truth is that after one glass of wine I tell my sober self to ‘do one and stop spoiling my fun’ and just want to crack on and get drunk. Good to remind myself of that on a daily basis.

Day 41 here. I was up at 7am this morning, no hangover and feeling pretty positive. I honestly never thought I’d be one of those annoying people who woke up early on a weekend with a smile on my face .

Make change fail! It’s Avoiding here!. Trying to separate my booze ramblings from other ramblings on MN. But obviously failing

@EdwinaMay, the guava and lime sounds really nice. I like good old lime and soda, but my favourite lime cordial had sold out. The soda water section has also taken a hit. Reminded me of what it’s like during dry January. It looks like the lockdown party has come to an end for some people.
I am enjoying trying new drinks for a change. I like to put the pear and elderflower in a wine glass with soda water and some sliced strawberries. I did the same with the lime and mint cordial trying to replicate a summer jug of pimms. It was nice but a bit heavy on the mint. Probably good if you like mojitos.
@Teetotallyimperfect, I find I can’t moderate. I’ve told myself so many times to just stick to Friday and Saturday, but I can’t keep it up for long. I like a few beers when I’m stressed. Something I need to change.

Has anybody found they have been unbeliveably tired as a result of giving up alcohol?

@randomer, Yes, very tired. In the first week or so I seemed to be waking up throughout the night and I felt exhausted and drained during the day. This phase seemed to last longer last time I stopped drinking but I was drinking more then. I'm sleeping really well now but I've noticed that in the evenings I can barely keep my eyes open. But it's not that horrible exhausted tiredness...it just feels like I'm ready to sleep. I'm asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow now (day 34).

@Tee, what causes the fatigue do you think? My thoughts are that I was constantly on a cycle of extreme high ( drink induced) followed by low.

@Teetotallyimperfect, thank you, I have had a relaxing day, been gardening and saw my DDs (socially distancing of course) which was lovely.

You are all doing so well, I am still not drinking and I suppose it is becoming the new normal, but I'm now at the stage (after about a month, which is where I got to last time), that I think I could moderate, and just have the one. Now, before you all tell me off, I'm not going to because I can't do that - I had just 'one' on Christmas Day, and it lasted until April!! So now I'm trying to shut down that stupid voice...

Yes, @randomer, the tiredness has been an issue for me when I quit, a couple of weeks of insomnia, then lethargy, apparently it's normal. I read that it takes a lot of effort for our brains to rewire to being a non drinker, and it's exhausting. Or something like that.

Those of you who have been dry for years (amazing, well done) do you still miss drinking? At what point did it really become the new normal?

I still haven't read all the thread, but I hope to catch up later.

I go to bed really early with a book and a mug of decaf tea (how exciting) just to avoid drinking. I'm not confident enough yet to watch TV with a glass of something non-alcoholic. I have a Becks Blue or a glass of AF wine with dinner, that's ok, but it's around now until later that I really struggle.

I don't miss the hangovers though! I never wake up thinking, oh, I wish I'd had a drink last night. So I keep that in mind.

Well done all, this thread is an amazing support.
Sx