Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

@Haggisfish.... did you find it surprising when your husband said he wouldn’t drink if you weren’t drinking? If it was the other way around, would you have still gone to the shop for wine? I ask because I’m always amazed at how ‘easy’ the decision is for others to just ‘not drink’. I guess that’s why we are all in this situation. I wouldn’t have cared less whether my other half was drinking with me or not. My decision to drink was never dependent on others drinking. In fact, I liked (preferred, even) drinking on my own. It’s strange how different our brains are wired.

Hi all I just wanted to say incase its it’s not been mentioned

AA are doing a 247 live zoom meeting that you can just join. With AA you only need a desire to stop drinking to be a part of it. It’s actually very good and it’s international so anyone anywhere can go on. Every one there is in the same boat!

Year 35 here !

Morning all. Well done littleme that’s amazing and good on you Haggisfish for resisting....
Well I screwed up AGAIN and had a few drinks with DH last night as he was work stressed and I was sick fed up with lockdown. I feel so cross with myself and slept badly. This is my day off this week. I’m going to buy the kindle quit lit books today, get lots of lovely soft drinks and fruit and the shop and start doing this all properly from today. No more slips or excuses. Please join me.

BTW we miss you Saltypotato*, and others who haven’t been on in a while. We are here for you!

Morning all lovely soberistas, struggling a little, a lot or not!

I’m going to post properly later on, but just wanted to say I’m still here (day 38!) and reading the thread every day, just been a bit tied up with work and doing my AA step work.

Have a good day all x

@Teetotallyimperfect I thought it was yesterday Sunday the 19th was when I last had a drink.

@Peaches2222 absolutely me too. Didn’t bother me at all and that’s where the association with drinking and cooking is. I’d cook a nice meal and a bottle of wine would be consumed in the relatively short time it took to cook. I’d enter the kitchen sober and serve the meal squiffy!

@iamyourequal as I said to someone on here before. May have been you We are all quite capable of doing the same. The two cans I bought the other day sounded really nice last night as DH is pissing me off. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of doing so well then giving in because of him. I would have been even angrier today.
Maybe think of it as continuing your streak that contains a little ‘blip’ somewhere along the line.

@SophieB100 you ok?

@Ghostonthedancefloor You're right! I get confused because I have 2 apps and they both count differently. One tells me what day I'm on, and the other counts how many full days I've done.

@iamyourequal you haven't screwed up - it's just a blip. Great idea to treat yourself to some lovely alcohol free drinks. I want to get some of those Angostura bitters I've seen mentioned on here but I've yet to spot them in the supermarket.

Well done @AvoidingTheWineAisle that's brilliant!

Hi all
I am still here, but mega busy trying to help timetable school returners - so very stressed!
Thanks for asking Ghost, am fine. Well, have had loads of cravings lately and really want wine! But I'm hanging on (by my fingertips!)
I'll have a good read and catch up later.
Just trying to sort 'bubbles' out for HT!

Take care all
Sx

I’ve been lurking since the start of the thread. Please can I join you? I’m on day 38 today and finally feel able to commit to posting here. I have had alcohol from Friday - Sunday every weekend for the last 20 years. This started to creep into drinking in the week, not massive amounts but the units still add up. I would try to stick to the weekends but would always crack if I had a bad day at work etc.

God to hear you are doing OK @SophieB100!

It’s really nice here today and I’d love to spend the afternoon pottering in the garden with wine. I’ve got a feeling if I feel like this still quite regularly, I’m bound to give in sooner or later. Sorry to sound negative. I’m not down or anything, just seems inevitable.
Having said that, I’ve come close many times and every time it’s more of a stubbornness maybe that I don’t give in. I do think of the negatives that will follow if I do give in and in that moment it stops me from picking up a drink. Who knows.

@heatseeker that’s amazing! Glad you have joined us! How are you feeling?

Hi Ghost, I’m feeling okay. Fleeting thoughts about having a cold beer, especially on a nice hot day like today. Can’t bring myself to say this is forever, even though I’ve been less moody and have lost weight. Yesterday I was comparing a craving for cream cake to beer. I told myself I just prefer beer to cream cake. 🙄 I talked myself down by reminding myself that eating a cake doesn’t make me feel tired and snappy the next day.

Thank you for asking, Ghost. 😊

Heatseeker have you tried AF beer? There are many available now and most are quite nice. Or do you think AF beer would lead to real beer? I quite like an AF shandy on a hot day. I am lolling on sofa feeling shattered. my sleep is very poor atm

Hi Pensylvan,🙂 I have tried a few non-alcoholic beers. I usually drink stronger lager like Stella, but I don’t like the non-alcoholic version. I hadn’t thought of adding some lemonade to make shandy. Will definitely give that a go, thanks. Ice cold Becks Blue is quite nice. Not as good as the real stuff but it satisfies the craving.
Sorry to hear you’re not sleeping very well. How many days in are you? My sleep patterns were not good to begin with. Had lots of strange dreams.

Welcome Heatseeker!
Thanks for the posts today Ghost & Totally. They have helped me. I am enjoying a Beck’s Blue before dinner. We are having fish, which I always like dry white wine with. But we don’t have any in, I didn’t even buy an emergency mini Prosecco at the supermarket today. Just AF cider and beer. Let’s do this! How has everyone else’s day been? Mine has been a nice mixture of walking, baking, gardening and napping with minimal housework. Shame I have work in the morning.....

Hello everyone dreadful day today no not drinking or wanting too but period pains all day today hours of it, hot wheat thing now on stomach and a co codpiece tablet tonight, this coil has been hell from the week after it was put in, I’m keeping a diary now, sick of hours of pain.

Good morning everyone. Just catching up on the thread. How is everyone feeling today?

@littlemeitslyn 35 years! Bloody hell, that’s amazing. I’m here on day 39 feeling really pleased with myself . It must feel wonderful to have had so many sober years. I aspire to that!

@Peaches2222. I’m also amazed at drinkers who can ‘just not drink’. Since I stopped drinking, my husband - who I’ve always seen as a fellow boozer and who would always join me for a drink, although would stop at 3 glasses of wine rather than 2 bottles! - has hardly had a drink! He had a single glass of wine with dinner a couple of weeks ago, and a couple of glasses from the same bottle last night. He seems genuinely not bothered. I know for sure - absolutely 100% and no kidding myself now - that I could NEVER drink like that and never will be able to. And if he’d been the one to stop drinking, I couldn’t have joined him, unfortunately. That, to me, really clearly shows I have a big problem with alcohol....

@SophieB100 Nice to see you . I also work in education AND my DC are both eligible to go back to school on June 1st, so I’m in stress mode trying to work out what the best thing to do is, and fielding all sorts of stuff from my boss. It’s all very confusing and stressful! It would be worse with a fuzzy wine head, though, that much I know!

Hope you feel better soon @Holothane. I suffer with gynae stuff too, and I know how draining it can be. Can you go back to your GP? The medical profession can be so dismissive of ‘women problems’ but you shouldn’t have to live with that level of pain.

Anyway, I’ve prattled on. Resentful of work today - I just want to sit in the sun with a good book! - but off I go to turn on my computer. Ha! Have a great day, all.

Hello everyone well done to those of you managing a run of af days. I get to two nights then cave in. I had almost a whole bottle last night, but feel so crap now. I’m definitely winning the mental battle though. I’m cross with myself and I didn’t actually enjoy the wine really last night. Will start again tonight!

@Haggisfish don't be too hard on yourself. I was listening to a podcast yesterday and she was saying how every slip is important because the experience gives you the tools to get through the next trigger. I've had so many day ones. All we can do is keep trying and one day it will stick. The important thing is not to give up.

Morning all.

I doubt you will be shocked to hear, I had a drink yesterday evening. Only one though. One of the cans of g+t I bought on Sunday.

We had a lovely time in the garden. DH sat down beside me with a beer. I was envious. Went to play with DC and a full on water fight ensued. We had so much fun. I sat down in a bubble of happiness and thought sod it.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, but of course I wanted more.

I’m not sure what this means. I don’t plan on buying any more. I don’t see it as a set back strangely. I’m terrible for beating myself up normally when I mess something up. I think because I had the one, enjoyed it, and moved on maybe? I don’t know. I’m aware this will probably temporarily increase the cravings but I don’t have to go out for anything for a while so I won’t be buying any.

I hope my post hasn’t taken the wind out of anyone’s sails. I wasn’t sure whether to post as I don’t want someone thinking “she’s done it so sod it I'm having one”.. stay strong all. You are smashing it.

Morning everyone.
I am still lurking, still want to do this. Had a sober night the other day and felt so pleased and good with myself. However I have not stuck to it. Well done to everyone!

Good morning everyone. I am now on day 4 and feel so happy, woke this morning with a really positive mindset which I havent had in years! I usually awake worrying, stressed and full of negative thoughts but I've been waking up feeling...happy.

I'm finding myself taking joy from things I never usually would have given a second thought, like this morning I had some smoked salmon with poached egg and a creamy coffee and it just made me feel happy. I also bought a new thriller on my kindle and knowing i have it to read today also gives me joy.

I've been drinking fever tree in the evenings and options Belgian hot chocolate.

Hope everyone has a good day!

I'm glad you did post, @ghostonthedancefloor. It's good we can support each other when we need it. It does sound like you had a lovely time with your family. As for what it means, only you can decide that. I have been exactly where you are, had one drink, stopped, and thoroughly enjoyed it. And then thought that maybe that means I can have, and really enjoy, the very occasional drink. Except before I know it I'm back where I was and angonising over whether enough time has lapsed since my last drink to have another one. But that's me and it may be different for you. You're right, it's not a set back - it's just part of the process.

I've definitely fallen off my pink cloud. Feeling tired and grouchy today.

Yes @teetotally I’m going to try and not get into that mindset. Of oh I can have one or two here and there. I am the perfect example of someone who goes from one extreme to the other. Same happened with my diet. I lost 5 stone in 2018. I’ve put back on 4.5 stone of it

Sorry to hear that. This pandemic is very up and down. I think everyone is starting to hit a wall now. I’m not sure where you are but we are still not allowed far here in Wales. Are you able to get out somewhere? I always feel better after a small drive somewhere for a nice walk. Hope you feel better soon