Wankerbastards standing together. Moderatin' may take a hit while around us things are shit. But we stand arm in arm, heart to heart but a respectable 2 meters apart.

[Frouby]

Thread 10 for the tryers.

All welcome for support and tips and chat about controlling our relationship with alcohol.

Previous threads knocking around.

No rules except we don't do politics about the C word. And because there is so many other C word chats we ask that we limit mention of it once a day for things that are worrying, followed up by a positively Pollyanna point about something nice about the situation.

Debating AF or not here.

Had sad news over the weekend, FIL passed away. We weren't expecting it despite the CV diagnosis as he had been discharged to a nursing home but went rapidly downhill and passed away early hours of Easter sunday.

It's going to causes us a whole shitshow of shite to sort out. His girlfriend is 76 and has diabetes so (now eventually) shielding. She lives in his council bungalow. Bot on tenancy and owns her own property so won't be able to take the tenancy over. Also a hoarder so am dreading how bad it is. Also no money as far as we know for a funeral. Also girlfriends family is bloody hopeless. Also have 4 weeks to empty property including of girlfriend who can't return to her own property as it's uninhabitable. Also lockdown and 2 dcs at home. Also scared of bungalow being coronad. Also dh back at work tomorrow cos we need the money. And also only other family is dhs dsis who has been NC for 12 years and doesn't want to know other than the contents of the will. There is no money so will be disappointed.

So yeah. Probably not dry.

Frouby, you absolutely don’t need to be beating yourself up over being af or not, lovely. What a time you’re having. I’m so so sorry x

I’m so sorry Frouby 💐

Frouby what a horrible Easter for you. And now the funeral arrangements to sort out (and pay for). I'm so sorry. Don't beat yourself up about not being AF.

Naps how did you get on with the rest of the Easter weekend? Did you continue to be AF?

Water good luck on your AF stint. It was the same here for me, I drank at least 3 bottles of wine over the Easter weekend and Day 1 AF here again. Waiting for the President's TV address this evening to find out how many more weeks months we will be locked up for and if he will be tightening the already very restrictive 1 hour physical exercise (jogging or walking only within 1km of the house) a day rule.

Day 2 AF here if I don’t drink tonight, which I won’t. Bit fed up, slept badly with nightmares, hope tonight will be better.

And if I’m AF tonight that’s day 7 in April and day 52 in 2020 overall. I’m still drinking far far too much though on the days I do drink, so I need to work on cutting down now.

Well done water for staying strong. Wish I could have some of your strength right now. Drinking far too much. Hoping for a dry (or dryish) night tonight. Let’s see tho hey!! 🙈

Dion, how are you?

@Dionysa how are you?

AF last night, hopefully tonight and tomorrow. Didn't manage Easter Monday after all despite good intentions and it made eating the last of my chocolate egg easier as no guilt. Lots the following morning however!
7 AF days so far this month, would like to finish with at last 15. With another 4 weeks at least of lockdown it is quite a challenge.

Hi everyone, how are we all? I’ve woken up with The Fear and so I’m going to see if I can do a month AF.

My plan is to put all the wine in the garage, which usually works. So far I’ve had 56 days AF this year but I’m still drinking too much when I do drink so I need a reset I think. I might do the online hypnotherapy session again.

Water good luck with your month off. I'm not strong enough to do that - 4 days a week is about my limit. Working really long days at the moment renovating and decorating and wine at the weekend is really appreciated! This week was AF 3 nights, then gave in Thursday and shared a bottle of red with DH.
So 11 dry days in April so far out of 25 not enough it should be at least over half

I’d like to join if I can - I have lurked for a while - I had three months dry and downloaded the teacups app and have now returned in the last six weeks to booze with determination to moderate. I find it easier to drink at lunchtime and tail off, than in the evening. So far so good!

I’m going to try to just drink really nice wine when I reeeeeaallly want it, only if I’m in a good mood. Like a chilled Sancerre on a sunny Friday afternoon in the garden with seafood or a great book.

I know there’s more to this thread than moderating booze, but that’s the aim! No drinking when angry basically and making it a pleasurable, gentle, enhancement to my life.

We’ll see!

Hi @ModConnie, welcome to the thread.

@MadameF - 4 days a week is good though. I’m not sure I’ll manage a month but I’m definitely cutting back again and need a good stint AF. You really seem to have cracked moderating though - any tips?

Today is day 12 AF in April but I drank wine on Weds, Thurs and Friday last week (but not last Sun, Mon, Tues nor last night or today) so that’s 5 days out of the last 8 AF, which is something I suppose, even though it includes today.

I slept better last night but had odd dreams. Still look like shit! Never mind, onwards!

@Dionysa how are you lovely?

How are you modconnie? And Dion, how’s it going?

I’m checking in to say I’m day 5 AF today, day 15 AF in April and day 60 in 2020 overall. I do feel better for it so that’s good.

I think my aim is to get to a habit of only drinking on Friday and Saturday, I’d be pleased with that. Looking back at my app March went a bit wrong for global pandemic reasons but in February I pretty much did that, with the exception of half term when we went out a lot and 1 night where I drank during the week. Although I just looked back and weekend drinking crept into Sunday a few times so that could be improved. And I did most of January AF.

This past week makes me feel like I’m back on the right track tbh.

Hi Waterandlemonjuice -

That’s a pretty good moderate April I think? And two months in total AF cumulatively!

I’m doing well I think - AF since Sunday lunch time. I was tempted last night when DH poured a G&T but only because he did - so I decided not to. I sort of hope I can stick to under 14 units and Friday and Sunday.

What I want to avoid is alcohol making me feel ill basically. No drinking crap wine, having loads of water while drinking and not saving up the booze for socialising. (Unlikely in the current circs!). And no drinking for the wrong reasons. It worked last week but it always does after a bit of abstinence!

There are so many benefits to not boozing (being able to drive home, much more spare ££, slimmer, better sleep) but I want the best of both worlds. I think sleep is the thing I really mind about - so both occasions last week, I had my booze at lunchtime and thus no 3am wakefulness.

I think I skipped Saturday to give myself 24hrs off the alcohol and give the liver a break again but don’t know that that will last.

We’ll see anyway. The real challenge will be “normal” life - though lockdown did send me back to the bottle. I couldn’t stop thinking about the perfect sunny weekend lunch outside and the wine was a key part of that - and I haven’t had such a crazy strong craving since I gave in. The whole week built up to it. Vacuvin ordered so I really could have one glass of the good stuff without throwing away the rest of the bottle, delivery from wine merchant, fevertree stocked up, favourite gin bought.

God I can bore on about moderation! I read a lot online about how alcoholics CAN moderate successfully as part of their recovery and it’s not solely all about abstinence. I want to be one of those people.

Modconnie I want to be one of those people too! Well done, you’re doing well.

I think your April sounds genuinely moderate. My drinkaware app would regularly show 50 units a week. And on one jarring week’s holiday; 122 units. I logged as meticulously as I could and scrolling back is certainly interesting. Even if I can’t end up like that, I think my awareness of units and abv on wines etc helps a lot.

I’m looking forward to glass of wine tomorrow for sure! And I think “looking forward to” rather than “craving” - hope so anyway. It’s quite hard to test my current saintliness in lockdown - I want to choose to meet up with friends dry, not because I HAVE to be sober to drive or have to be sober because I binge drink, but because they are good company anyway and I don’t need to get drunk to have fun with them. I really want to be able to take it or leave it.

The teacups are satisfying. I really like this app.

Evening all. Mind if I join you?

If I'm honest, I was drinking too much pre-lockdown, and this has just given me an excuse to continue. But I can't carry on this way so am going to try to go cold turkey for now - I've said to DH that my next alcoholic drink will not be at home, which seemed like a good target (i.e. whenever we can go to a restaurant or pub again).

Will I stick to it? Who knows? But am going to read through the rest of the thread now motivate myself and will keep posting for accountability.

Hi BookSkark, how did you get on yesterday? Seems like a good resolution, to drink outside of the home for the next drink.

Waterandlemonjuice - how are you? Is an AF May going ok?

I had a couple of small glasses of wine with lunch in the sun yesterday which was really lovely - I could very happily have carried on. But it took me to 14.2 units for the whole 7 days which was very annoying as it just tipped me over.

Considering whether I drink tonight (probably not) or tomorrow instead. I need to get more water down me anyway.

Hi @ModConnie, it’s not going well, just had 5 days in a row of drinking and feel shit! But today has been AF and I’m wondering whether I might do the rest of May AF. We’ll see. Have had 66 days AF this year so I suppose thats something but my units are still too high. How are you? How was the weekend?

@BookSkark welcome to the thread!

14 units is v good @ModConnie, well done.

Had a bit of a hiccup last night - just a rubbish day all round with work, school and DS's various friendship dramas meant that Chinese and wine seemed like the order of the day.

And now of course I'm beating myself up for it this morning, not least because I had all these grand plans to get up early and start doing couch to 5k now that Boris says we can go out for more exercise, and a late night means I haven't got the energy for it.

But never mind, tomorrow is another day and all that.

Agreed, I'd be feeling okay if I drank 14 units a week (isn't that terrible!). Just counted and I've had 51 AF days this year. It's just way too much so I HAVE to do something.

@BookSkark 51 days AF is better than nothing and you’re right, today is another day. This is day 2 AF in a row for me, day 6 AF in May, day 67 AF in 2020. I know because of the Try Dry app btw, am not obsessively counting daily! I’m pretty sure I won’t drink tonight as there’s no cold white wine in the house and I’m feeling motivated. Definitely will stay AF until Friday and will see how I feel then.

Waterandlemonjuice - do you feel shit physically or just wish you hadn’t? I think beating oneself up afterwards is what makes drinking torturous. Was the drinking at least fun and delicious? These are my two requirements. Good quality alcohol and a positive mood and atmosphere in which to enjoy them.

I drank half a bottle of wine four days from Thursday to Sunday (the sunniness on Thursday was the trigger!) and that came to 18 units. I might try to find a Riesling or something with a lower abv to try.

Monday to now is AF - I had a disagreement with DH yesterday evening which made me want to pointedly mix a huge G&T while staring angrily at him but I held back.

Like you my drink is Friday - looking forward to it! And all those AF days count! What was your AF number for April? Can you just beat that? One more day than the month before?