Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Bunnies I just had a look back at my posts from early February, when I was a month in, and I was still in a grump; emotional, blobby, frustrated.

I'm saying this because I wonder if you might be expecting a wee bit much from yourself at this early stage. You just have to not drink, that's your one job. Loads of people feel like you, and take it one day at a time because forever feels scary. It's a standard, effective strategy. You're doing great. 😊

The good physical effects have now arrived for me, I've lost almost a stone, I'm eating less sugar, and I'm beginning to feel like I can start running again, but it did take a while. Still no fucking pink cloud, what's the deal with that?

Thanks for that lovely encouraging message @Drybird2020

But what is a pink cloud😂😂😂

Hello everyone
I was on this thread when it started, but dropped off around half term when I went away. I'm so glad to see that it is still thriving. Thankyou @Drybird2020.
Anyway ... I got to 110 days, and last Friday, having finished my dissertation the night before, had a celebratory glass of champagne. A one off I told myself. Then a glass of wine the next night, and the next night, and last night it crept up to two. We all know how this goes. I was enjoying being sober SO MUCH in every way, and I am determined to halt this in its tracks. So - day 1 for me. Yet another lesson learned, but those 110 days still happened, and the important thing is to stop the slide now.
I think I did stop being so conscious of the benefits - going to be completely sober, being total present for myself and those around me - and ending the dissertation was like pressing an off switch. I think the lesson for me is that I need to keep making use of all this lovely support.

Bunnies a pink cloud is when you start to feel overwhelmed with joy and happiness! There is a reason for it neurologically.... alcohol is a depressant. Eventually when you stop your brain starts to repair and then it releases all these endorphins. It is magic!

After longish alcohol free periods in the past I found the first couple of drinks tasted vile - vinegary and thin, and I got an instant headache and then a slump like a sugar crash. But I kept going until I regained my taste for it, such was my addiction.

That is such an important point, @Drybird2020. Previously I would have just drunk through it. And that would always be a danger for me. No intention to meddle again.

I’m definitely not recommending it, @Growingboys and @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I feel I was just behind indulgent and a bit cocky and wanting a “treat”, a pick me up (don’t we all?!).

I’ve never had a pink cloud. I think I moaned my way through Jan and Feb on this thread 🙄. The benefit for me was mainly in simply not drinking. I have to take on trust the benefits for my health/wellbeing as I haven’t felt an awful lot. ...Until we got to lockdown and then I am so glad to be AF! Christ knows the mess I’d be in by now otherwise.
Thank you everyone on this thread!! 😘

Welcome back, @Ontheshingle 😊

Thanks @SparklingLime. I see you've been through a similar journey. Looking forward to staying AF with you.

Absolutely, OntheShingle ✊🏽

@Drybird2020, I feel so much happier now I'm sober. Never heard of pink cloud before, but that's exactly it. In fact, I have to rein in my exuberance sometimes.

I am mentally stronger and have so much time and energy. And my bank balance looks a lot healthier. I haven't lost any weight, but I am eating better. It's about time I addressed that, I think.

Welcome back @Ontheshingle, no one can take those sober days off you. Lots of help and support on here if you need it.

I'm so glad you shared your experiences @SparklingLime and @Ontheshingle, they have reinforced my resolve not to do something similar. I have read a few different sources saying that around the 3 month mark is a danger point for a blip, I wish there was a guarantee that after a certain point I wouldn't be susceptible. I feel like I need to be vigilant all the time in case it suddenly ambushes me.

The 100 odd days DO count for A LOT - think of all the learning, and long term changes to your thinking. The wobble is a bump in the road to sobriety, not a wrong turn that leads to a dead end.

Hello @ElsaCragg and @Drybird2020.
I definitely found the 3 month mark to be a point where it felt like I'd got this, I could have just one drink etc etc etc. I'm just glad I've 'caught' myself before I slip further. this thread is a godsend. This evening, it is helping me so much to know that it is here to hold me to account, when for the last 4 days, I've had a drink at this time.
Next time I get to 110 days I'll know more about myself I guess.
Well done to you both for sticking with it.

I'm having a bad day and its constructive to hear from others that drink is not the answer. I don't really believe it is anyway but it does reinforce the issues that it would create. It would be such a step backwards.

I'm going to potter about for a bit and keep out of everyone's way as they are sure to do something that will grate on me. It's me, not them but I could really do with spending time on my own. When I was drinking I would be happy for the first couple of glasses then I'd get really shouty about having to do everything and no one doing anything for me and it would scare them. Who want's to be around that kind of person?

Have a lovely evening ladies. I am hoping tomorrow will be less stressful.

Hello everyone, hoping I can join. I've really enjoyed reading your posts and found you all really inspiring, so thanks for sharing. 10 days in and this is the first really hard time this evening wanting a drink. It's a strong urge pulling in my chest. I'm not giving in and I do feel stronger than the pull but it is a reminder I am in some way, addicted and have a long way to go. 10 days is definitely the point where my body and brain are wondering where the drink is.
Brain: "Surely she'll have one tonight?
Body: "You'd think so, I know let's give her a bit of a kick to remind her eh?"

I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so glad I've decided to get sober though, I read The Sober Diaries and loved it, and I'm reading Quit Like A Woman now, but it's taking a little longer to digest.

I love sparkling water with lemon slices and teapigs green tea. I'm overhauling my entire lifestyle so usually eating in a healthy calorie deficit but tonight I've allowed myself some snacks. Walkers paprika max crunch and haribo 😋 to get through tonight.
So hi, I'm Lu 😁

@Ulysses, hang in there. Not drinking will give you some control over the situation, and you won't be that angry, shouty person.

Take it one day at a time. As long as you don't have that first drink, then you are winning.

Thanks @ElsaCragg. I've no intention of drinking at all. I think my hormones are wreaking havoc with my mood today. I've started taking Norithesterone to stop my period which has now been on the go for 4 weeks, so I am hoping it's that. It's the relentless that's bugging me. I have all this time on my hands as well and I'm counting down the clock so I can wake up tomorrow in a better frame of mind.

Hello and welcome @Lupellegrino . You've come to the right place and that sounds like a well rounded meal to me you are having there. Haribo is my favourite - enjoy!

You know I’ve just subscribed to Mumsnet premium on account of this thread. It’s very much worth the fiver a month and I really do think it’s been a godsend. I am not working for Mumsnet by the way, just evangelical about what a support you guys have been. I don’t think I could have done this without checking in now and again and I’ve definitely saved a fortune.

Thanks @Sparklinglime I thibk you're right. I don't think I will enjoy a drink after so much time off. But I like thinking I might have one.

No frigging pink cloud for me either.

Maybe weight loss? I don't know. I'm a normal weight anyway and don't really need to lose any. But I did think today my shorts felt loose. That's more likely lockdown nerves preventing me eating much than giving up booze.

For me the benefits are feeling up so much headspace that used to be devoted to shall I drink/shan't I, how much, etc etc. And sleeping better, not feeling like crap in the morning, and better, more stabilised mood.

I love being booze free. Though I do still mourn the fun I used to have.

*freeing up headspace

Also I think maybe I miss fun because of lockdown, not booze. I mean it's just not fun is it?

Hi everyone- hope you're all ok this morning. I've had a few bad days, personally. But no wine was drunk and am now on day 50.
Keep strong all of you. Sending love and strength.

@jess3817 sorry to hear you’ve had a bad few days, well done on keeping off the wine👍👍👍

Am doing well but worried about when life gets hard(er), and what that will do to all my good intentions...

Welcome, @Lupellegrino! 🍋
Im so glad, @Drybird2020, I did hesitate to post.
Bloody well done, @jess3817!
Those are great benefits, @Growingboys. I wonder if my mood is better but I don’t notice? A journal would help, but I don’t keep one.
I still find filling in my DrinkLess app satisfying, but it’s just normal now, I’m not counting the days down like I was. Which is good: the new normal

@BunniesBunniesBunnies thank you! I did wonder that myself, I got to 25 days ish, and it feels like a switch has gone off in my head, hasnt felt like that before whne ive tried, so that I know I can't have another drink as I know I'll just go back to how I was before, but under no illusions that I won't crave it again. Because I'm not drinking, I feel more rational and calmer, getting less stressed over things...I think? Only had a few times where I've reverted back to ' I need some wine ' default, but haven't .
Thank you Sparkling.

50 days, @jess3817! Hurrah!

Welcome @Lupellegrino and congrats on a good start. I'd not worry too much about overhauling your entire lifestyle at once. Just don't drink. After a month or so you can think about other aspects of self improvement.

@Growingboys I know what you mean about the absence of fun, it's all rather drab. For me a big piece of work is to divorce the concepts of fun and boozing from each other in my mind.

That’s interesting @jess3817, the main thing I’ve noticed from not drinking is feeling calmer as well, and more patient, also with the children which is a lovely feeling.

I’m about 10 days in, just went for a long run followed by an AF beer in the sun. Feeling pretty pleased with myself right now😊

Really I do not recommend doing what I did.
I had a few glasses of wine for a few nights and I am set back by so much. It's not just the days. It's the feeling that the option is there again. It's a struggle! and I just want to get back to where I was.
Agree bunnies that being calmer with kids is one of the best upsides. It really motivated me to stop myself falling back down into the alcohol hole.
I need to just not drink and not worry about anything else.