I need your help please

[Dotty2019]

I need your help to enable me to stop drinking.

I'm drinking every day and far too much. I couldn't get out of bed this morning to take the children to school. Probably a good thing as I would have been over the limit anyway.

I'm sick of feeling crap all the time. Why do I do it? I can't just have one glass. As soon as I start I think sod it and just carry on drinking until I physically can't any more.
I have so many problems in my life but this is one I can control so I'm starting with stopping drinking.
I'm going to use this thread to keep reminding me how much I need to do this. I would love some support and positive stories if anyone wants to join me.
Day 1 starts today! Thank you for reading

Dotty2019 . I am ok. Trying to get in to the drs with regards to my depression and then hopefully the drink will no longer be needed as such. Still hate the idea of never drinking again. I know my depression is what is causing me to reach for the alcohol. Urges have already started today and i really want one. Even after all that happened on saturday 😭
Is your other half aware of your problem drinking? Does he drink too? My other half doesnt drink or suffer with depression so he really doesnt understand it and thinks it ahould be an easy fix

Lovemyfurrywuff. You have done really well to get through the weekend. Is this the 2nd weekend you have managed?

Dotty - that's day 8 for me, never thought I'd see the day!
Struggling - that's only my first weekend. Still got Christmas night out and Christmas itself to go. People keep telling me it's the wrong time of year but I just needed to stop ASAP. OH was shocked I was stopping. Finally on Saturday I told him I'd stopped. He said you didn't drink that much though (so he thought) and you don't have a problem (yes I do), I was obviously good at hiding it...

You can do this OP.

My DH is in recovery, he has blipped a few times but AA is really helping him. He accessed help from his GP and local alcohol support service before moving on to AA. He also started antidepressants which was long overdue for him.

I don't have a drink problem myself but I'm very impulsive and could see myself going that way. I used to find it hard to stop once I started drinking. Now I only buy mimi bottles of wine to limit myself. It is very hard to moderate once you get into dependency though.

Good luck, you are very strong for speaking out here

Thanks all
I'm really going to keep trying

Struggling, yes my DH drinks. Although he was proud that I stopped for a while I think he actually prefers me to drink so it doesn't make him feel bad when he drinks. He isn't a problem drinker but I think he is drinking more than usual lately due to our problems.
He has never suffered from depression and is normally a very positive person.
I had to take antidepressants a few years ago as I got quite bad. I actually stopped drinking for around 3 months as the gp said alcohol can sometimes stop them from working.
I was in a real bad way though and I was desperate for them to work.
I'm glad you told your other half. Even if he is supporting you as much as he should. The hiding it must have been so stressful.

And struggling try and resist today. Remember how bad you felt and if you don't drink that will be 2 whole days without it.

You can do this. X

Thank you dotty. I havent drank and the urge has passed and i feel a lottle better this evening now. Normally id be hiding it now and fretting if other half gets home and he notices. Today i feel a little weird actually being sober.

Ive managed to get an appt today at 6.15 with the doctors and my step mum is taking me. I do def think i need anti ds again. The ones i took 3 years ago havent been working this time around. It seems it creeps back up on us in low times... the first thing we reach for.

Lovemyfurrywuff - just curious. How much were u drinking?

Infact how much were all of us drinking. I was having upto 2 bottles of wine a day... mid morning and 1 at night. But i was craving it all day. Could have easily drank more... i probably have on some days up to 3 bottles. Dread to think how my liver looks but dont want to worry over that just yet.

Be nice to have a whatsapp group if anyone is interested? Xx

Struggling - I was having up to a bottle of red every night or 5-6 large rums. Always able to stick to my 6pm due to work though.

I was drinking 1 bottle a night and then I would sometimes get 2 mini bottles after that.
So I guess 1-2 bottles.
I can never have just one drink, ever . As soon as I start I find it hard to stop.
Never really drunk spirits, just wine.
And never really wanted a drink during the day. Just evenings after 6, sometimes Sunday lunch.
How did your appointment go Struggling?
How is everyone else feeling/doing?

Im doing well. I went docs and they have changed anti ds so started them last night. After an hour my eyes were so heavy i went to bed. Baby mid 18 month sleep regression atm so def a good time to stop. Im feeling good today to be fair. Just on with making lunch. Teen is home poorly. May have an hour this aft with baby as dont think ill get through the day if not xx

That's good news your tablets have changed. Mine made a huge difference to me. I thought I was loosing my mind. Been on them for about five years now. Life changing. Hoping that stopping drinking I'll maybe be able to cut them down. Plenty time for that though. Other things to concentrate on first.

I quit smoking by just reducing the amount and soon enough I wasn't smoking anymore. Mentally is easier to reduce than to quit. Also may be dangerous I'll talk to your GP just in case.

Thorn hill - I stopped smoking and didn't have another one. I couldn't do the whole cutting down thing sadly. Think that's why I just stopped drinking. Always had an inner conversation with myself to reduce but couldn't do it.

Struggling - naps are great! Good to hear about the new anti-ds.

Love - I've been on anti-ds for about 15 years - like you I wonder if being AF will help me cut them down/ out. Hadn't realised alcohol was such a depressant.

I'm on day 10 today - fingers crossed it continues!

Silver - day 10 is meant to be a good one, seemingly that's when your body is totally alcohol free as it takes 10 days to get it out your system. I was struggling tonight after nightmare journey home from work. Wanted to go straight for the wine. Had some CBD oil instead so hopefully that'll ease the anxiety. Sometimes I just find the world overwhelming, alcohol numbed that previously.

Would any of u fond it helpful to have a whatsapp group instead? Messages more instant for desperate times.

Im really struggling today. Really tired cause of meds. Really stressed. Toddler is fed up and i cant find anything to keep her entertained for a while. Pouring down and generally feeling pissed off as stuck in

I can't do WhatsApp at work so that's no good for me. Sorry. How are you feeling now?

Struggling -did your day improve? Soft play places were great in bad weather - and of course decorating biscuits or some quality TV!

Love - CBD oil is supposed to be good - must try one day.
I'm on day 11, watching some sad documentaries about alcohol on Annie Graces website.

How are you all today? I'm not great. Emotions seem very heightened. I feel like I could cry. I feel quite fragile. I think the slightest thing could push me over the edge today. Also feel folk aren't taking me seriously. I'm getting grief at work for being a spoil sport and not drinking at the night out, saying I'm boring. I don't think anyone really gets it....

@lovemyfurrywuff - I’m on day 67 AF and apart from my husband, I haven’t told a soul for the very reason you said above. Even with my husband, I just told him I’m not drinking for a while (he works away and I see him every 6-8 weeks). In a way though, by keeping it to myself, I feel I’m sort of undermining ‘my sobriety’. I quote it like that as it still feels very early days to even call it ‘my sobriety’. I am literally taking one day at a time. I read blogs / online stuff (quite obsessively if I’m honest) each day as I’m absolutely petrified of going back to the way I was and I feel if I ‘have a day off’ from the things I’m doing to keep me sober then I fear I’ll drink. I feel a bit stuck in some ways I suppose. I don’t know if they way I’m doing this is correct or not. Maybe I should tell people. I was drinking in secret and now I’m abstaining in secret. Not sure what to do next.

@lovemyfurrywuff I haven't had the challenge yet of a social sitution like that - I'm not very social! That must be shit though. Just keep saying no.

When you feel overwhelmed try to do something else and just distract yourself for a bit.

A few people have mentioned boredom and that is a kicker, but a wise poster said: but how entertaining is alcohol?

Is sitting there getting pissed by yourself in your own house, and not liking yourself for it entertaining? Fun? No? It's really useful to try and find little new hobbies, even crafting and things like that. I'm cooking my way around the world and doing cross stitch. Still more fun though.

Hang on in there everyone.

Thanks for replying Emma and George. I'm throwing myself into crafting. It does work as a distraction. Just feeling really flat and know a glass of wine would make me feel better albeit for a few hours. I quite liked the drinking alone bit at night but the next day felt bad.
George-I'm starting to think I shouldn't have told anybody. I've probably got myself to blame as I say everything with a joke and a laugh so understandably they think I'm joking. It's just too hard to say 'I can't drink anymore, ever'.
Even my OH was saying last night that'll be able to drink for Xmas, I just kept my mouth shut. He likes us having a problem together.
The works is overwhelming, the noise, the people, drinking blocked that for me. Now I'm dealing with like sober it's hard.
Thanks again for replying.

That was meant to say he likes us having a drink together!

Hi all. Also wanting to beat the booze here. Been drinking far too much for the last few years and generally fat and miserable.

My husband is a big drinker and sometimes I end up drinking just so he drinks less. We both need to stop, I told him this morning our daughter deserves better than alcoholic parents, which is the first time either of us have said that out loud.

Both stereotypical middle class habitual drinkers. Holding down good jobs, nice house, life seemingly perfect, but getting though 2-3 bottles of wine a night between us. He's out tonight with work so at least I'm sober.

Welcome to the gang Tiny. Are you planning on cutting down or going alcohol free?

Literally no idea. Just know I need to do something.

I would like to get to a position where I only drink when I'm socialising. Its making me hate myself.