Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

Buckeejit - I’m coming over to yours....50 bottles sounds like something dreams are made of!

Sauvignon or Pinot here. Maybe champagne if I’m lucky. Nothing else will tempt me so surely I’m not an alcoholic??.............

Dion 3 days is fab! Even if you have been poorly it still counts, glad you are feeling better.

I can ignore wine, usually have a few bottles in. Can ignore gin. Can ignore cans of carling.

But I can't ignore little bottles of beer. Like Budweiser or desperados. Wasn't dry last night, 4 bottles of Budweiser but they are all gone now so should be AF tonight. Feel very bluergh.

Urgh. I would be tempted by absolutely anything, once I have pressed the fuck it button.

Which is why it is probably a good thing I have managed three nights. Even if nothing else, it has given my system a break.

And, as always, it reminds me that I gain absolutely nothing by drinking. I actually slept for 7 hours last night without waking up, which is a miracle for me. Knowing this will not help me get through Day 4, though.

Crossed with you Frouby. Thank you!! Literally can't remember when I last managed three days. No doubt I will make up for it with a blow-out.

I wish I could resist gin, or wine. Or anything. I have to have absolutely nothing in. I'd be tempted by Night Nurse if it really came to it.

How you feeling Dion? You’ve done amazing with 3 days under your belt. Even when I’m ill, I make excuses such as ‘oh it’s medicinal’ ffs. Hope you’re on the mend.

Frouby - that’s still loads less than you used to drink so I’d say that’s a win 🙌

I had a large glass and a small glass last night so fairly chuffed with my moderation there.
Was planning on going to a lovely yoga class today. Went last week and it was fab. 90mins of pure indulgence and meditation. Dd2 has come down elaborately with a virus of some kind and can’t go to school. So no yoga for me. Fml

Oh Flossie, you couldn't make it up. for you. Good moderation, though.

Still feeling rough, but I suppose it's a good thing if it's stopping me drinking. I'd like to feel all pleased with myself, but I know it's only because I've felt too crap to eat or drink anything much at all.

That's rubbish Flossie, it's always the nice things that get sacrificed. I have realised that if my day is busy it's the ponies that get sacrificed and that's very much my thing. And the whole point of me not working in an actual real job is so I have time for the ponies.

So have decided that although I enjoy the walk to school, am going to take the car and go straight to the yard from school. I can be at the yard in 20 minutes which is roughly how long it takes to walk home. Then do what I need to do, be home for 10.30 to 11am, work until 1pm then run around for an hour doing housework before walking up for ds.

That way I don't get tied up doing stuff at home in the morning, then it gets too late to go to the yard. I do about the same amount of steps at the yard as I do on the school run, and have being taking the dog for a longer walk as well.

Housework will suffer a little bit. But housework doesn't make me happy. And because I have literally an hour to do it in, I am not faffing as much. Hoping to get into a good routine and stuff gets done more regularly than a 1 day a week blitz.

Plus it should mean I lose weight with more riding. Or at least develop thighs of steel 🙈🐎.

I’d deffo do it that way frouby. Prioritise what’s best for you. Dh and the dc won’t even notice if things are done differently. But you’ll feel better inside.
I used to clean every day, I did it when I got home from school run. Raced round for an hour or so then knew I was on top of it and in control. Deffo was best way. We then moved and routine changed. You’ve reminded me tho that this was the best way and freed my mind also of job overload!!

Dion, you poor thing. Sounds dreadful!! Really hope you’re back to normality soon. X

Flossie that is rubbish about your yoga :-( hope dd is better soon. And you Dion - though hope you are reassured it is a classic virus. Though sounds a nasty one - well done on AF.

I am not doing too well. Dh was in a flap and talked me into wine again and i stayed awake fretting about a work thing. Which us daft really when you look at the fiasco that is playing out. Quite funny to see my crew on the front page, even if not covered in glory.

Am not sure how sustainable new childcare model is. Dh had them 2 days after school and 2 days has called me to come home early for extra support. FML Am not v sure what to do about it though as at the moment dd2 is too knackered to cope with after school club. Going to give it a couple of weeks to settle.

On the plus side i love my new bike and i have signed up to a swimming challenge at work to force myself to go. Like frouby i find it is the first to suffer a time squeeze.

Ps i literally cannot find time/energy to squeeze housework in. I have a cleaner for 2 hours and manage the dishes, cooking and endless laundry ihan between but the kids make mess quicker than i can clean it. Is a source of stress but one i think i am just going to have to let go till they are older

Longest, no cleaning gets done around here. Dishwasher goes on, gets unloaded (slowly); laundry and cooking grind is endless. No chance of anything else getting done, ever.

Just checking in.

Hearing you all loud and clear on the time crunch struggles, housework, childcare stuff, and the order in which things get jettisoned.

I think I'm heading for a crunch point at my work. I'm not sure how long I can hang onto this job. I'm looking at numbers to see how little I can live on. Up to now I had always thought that if / when it's time to change jobs it would be best to look for something similar, with similar pay (even a pay rise / promotion) in order to use the skills and experience I've acquired over the decades. Now I'm not so sure. I am wondering about taking drastic pay cut in order to stay closer to home, reduce the childcare panic and just get away from all this bullshit. And be free to talk about it. Free to talk about how badly I've been treated, without putting on a brave / professional face in the industry. It's not that easy to just conjure up a local job though.

I need a break so badly. I can't think straight.

I've been ok with the booze. But the world feels like a very scary and inhospitable place at the moment

Well done on the 3 AF Dion. Sympathy on the childcare longest sounds tricky. I have weird strict rules to attempt to limit the amount of laundry in our place. It drives me nuts for a host of reasons to wash t-shirts used by the kids for 10 minutes. I have it down to 4 loads a week but policing this likely costing more than it's worth in time and aggravation. It's cooking that eats my time at home but that's ok with me most of the time. I'm baffled how exercise or hobbies for myself outside home would work for me. No time nor energy. The 2 hour window after work with the kids is just endless foodprep-wrangling-cooking-wrangling-wrangling-cooking-losingmymind. So I've had 10 AF days so far this month. That number hides a shit load of units though. That's something I really have to tackle. We pretty much always have wine in the flat due to bulk order 4 times a year. I think I'm getting better at not reaching to open a bottle every night but drinking moderately once wine is open is harder for me.

x-post senseless your work environment sounds grim, sorry to hear. Is it a really niche line of work?

I used to be great with housework but again this seems to another thing that i have let slip. I really hope i am coming down with something rather than just becoming even more useless at life. Just need to stop smoking, spending, drinking, eating too much, start exercising and cleaning. Oh and remember to be nice to everyone while doing it so i don't end up single, friendless and jobless. What could be easier than that!

Frouby - good idea as flossie said no one will notice and if they do 'great thanks for offering to sort it out, also while you're at it can you put a wash on'

Longest - i am sorry about your childcare not going to plan. Maybe you could get ready meals of their favourite dinners to make it more of a treat and it's one less thing for your DH to do while they are getting into a routine?

Dionysa - hope you feel better today and well done on another AF!

Flossie - sorry to hear about your little girl and yoga :(

Anyway have a good day everyone

Thanks guys. I think it's the stress wrangle that dh is finding hardest- overtired dds shrieking at each other are no joke for anyone but it does trigger his ME. Which is something we obviously have to manage somehow but it's hard not to be able to properly rely on him. Am hoping it settles as dd gets used to school.

longest give it a couple of weeks and see if it evens out perhaps? My husband doesn’t get a handle on the weekday kid stuff because he has a high pressure professional role and is an insomniac but mostly because he has learnt to rely on me. He would admit it too in most moods.
Btw my £150 lawyer appointment at their scheduling (during my bloody evening) today was a no show on their part. FML.

@Dionysa lol at night nurse!

I'm a little embarrassed to ask having been around MN for a great many years but what is FML? I've seen it More on this thread but still can figure it out!

@Frouby definitely change routine to sort your interests best. In order to get any housework done I've started wearing my headphones round the house listening to my audiobooks so I can pretend that I can hear the dc when they whine at me.

@SenselessUbiquity that sounds utterly shit. I took a massive pay cut & love on next to nothing but can do it now as there's lots of lovely cheap countryside around me to escape to.

@leavingAqaba I've recently started taking things out of the laundry basket as I think my lazy dc are in the habit of putting things that could be worn again in as it's easier than putting them away

@longestlurkerever Dc are the worst straight after school when ready for a meltdown. Hope your dh finds ways to cope.

I'm longing for wine tonight as no school tomorrow but also wrecked. At BB with dc so will be almost 9pm before I get a glass & a bit worried that I will get carried away....

Fuck My Life!

@buckeejit its fuck my life

Hello everyone. No news on Mil but I’m going at the weekend not tonight as others are there tonight. She’s stable still.

AF tonight so that’s only 2 days this week. Drank last night, felt shit today. WHEN WILL I LEARN? FFS at myself.

Evening all

Have had a lovely, productive day today. Did ponies straight from school and had some lovely work from BabyPony. She's also benefiting from more routine and enjoys her work which makes it easier.

Then got home about 11am, worked until 2pm, did some laundry and had a quick tidy round. Picked ds up, hoovered upstairs while he ate his tea. Took them kayaking/dragon boating and it was absolutely beautiful down there. Really calm, warm and then the most amazing sunset.

I have also made lots of friends down there. My couple of hours of peace while ds is on the water is no more, have loads of people who come chatting to me. I have one of those faces apparently. Most are lovely, 1 or 2 oddballs but I can live with that.

Just having a cup of tea and going to bed to read, stone cold sober and very content. Knowing I can physically make time for the ponies by juggling a few things around, and deciding to do housework after ponies and work has made such a difference for aome reason.

Good for you frouby bloody awesome pictures too.

Lovely pictures frouby and so pleased you are having such a good time! So happy about baby pony i am about to take one my little crazy critters training on sunday and i am so excited. I just moved too! When did you move and was it far away? I moved 3 miles down the road but sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. We were living in the middle of the city and now we are in the burbs. But it meant we get house with a garden and dogs. Who are the light of my life! Excited for you to wake up tomorrow and i effing did it 😄

How brilliant, Frouby. I am organising a kayak session for woodcraft folk at the place where dd1 did her holiday club. Should be fun!

AF tonight. Easy because enabling dh is out. Have had bath and am batch cooking lentil soup and 3 bean chilli. Off to bed soon.

Night all