Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

At some point every day I consider starting C25k. Unfortunately, it's never at a time when I am free to put my trainers on and get on with it. By the time that time comes I'm too knackered and have forgotten that I was even going to.
I'd very much like to be a size 12 again though. That's going to take some serious lifestyle compromises but it is achievable.

Ffs 1/2 lb on at fatclub. Fml.

Have been relatively moderate apart from friday. And walked lots. But also been eating too much bread. So that will be why.

And I have jeans rather than leggings on so that won't help. Still disappointed though.

Sat sipping a glass of ginger cordial but really, really want a consolation Budweiser. Omelette and salad for dinner. If I still want one after that I will.

frouby 😂 consolation Bud. Carbs are a killer for weight loss so you’re likely right. Annoying. Got to —run— walk a ton to burn off a bit of bread.

Madame yes, FODMAP but also no lactose, gluten, red meat, high fat, caffeine or spice. There is not much left apart from fish, rice, peppers and courgettes. Oh and wine. Thank God he has eased up a tad because when wine is your only treat it is easy to overdo it.

Sorry about fatclub Frouby.

Frouby half a pound is nothing! Weigh yourself in kilos and you wouldn't notice it. You are doing really well with your walking and steps. I manage around 25000 a day when working at home (physical work)but only because I run a lot, I wouldn't have time to do that otherwise. And of course it's less when I teaching or I cycle or swim instead of running because those activities don't count.
Longest the DP of a friend sort of follows that diet. He eats salmon, tomatoes, potatoes and chocolate. And red wine. He is very thin as he does a lot of sport.
I had no breakfast, ran 20kms then homemade veg soup for lunch, and veggie chilli for dinner. Plus a few prunes. I will have chocolate. Oh and most importantly, no wine. DP had wine but I resisted, the fact is Rosé helped as I only like red.

NC4, I'm so sorry that your lovely relaxing night away didn't happen. You couldn't make it up. Madame is right about Air BnB changing things in a way that isn't good for guests. I hope the host has been banned from Air BnB.

Sorry about fatclub too, Frouby. I know it isn't really much and could be sorted out by a good poo, but that's no consolation when you want to see a change for the better.

Flossie, how is your dad getting on? I hope he's on an upwards trajectory.

Crap day. Hungover. Have convinced myself that I have several forms of alcohol-related cancer. Terrified that even if I stopped drinking today and never drank again, it would be too late as the damage has already been done. AF tonight, though. Have cleaned the kitchen floor instead. Exciting times.

I might swap my scales at home to kilos, fatclub weigh in lbs but I only go once a fortnight so I am accountable to someone 🙈. I don't really even follow the diet, I aim for homecooked food, plenty of veg and a small amount of treats.

It's been hard getting out of the habit of a sandwich at lunchtime. Had chicken salad today which I enjoyed more than a sarnie and didn't leave me wanting a nap at 2pm, I just don't think I do well with carbs. Going to make a big batch of soup when I get round to it and bought a couple of cartons of fresh soup today. Tomatoes are finally going mad at the allotment so can make a tomato soup, and obviously a salad is much nicer with home grown tomatoes.

Just need to get more organised for lunchtimes, and have got into the habit of freezer surprise on tues and thurs because I am not home until late. But am going to start having dinner early I think before we go. Shepherds pie tomorrow, so will make mine and ds early, then dh can just do his when he wants. Or shove everyones in the oven at 7.30 then all eat at 8pm when we get home.

Managed to dodge a consolation bud, remembered there was a meeting at the boathouse I said I would go to, and have somehow volunteered to be volunteer coordinator. Just means drumming up volunteers and directing them to the relevant person to organize the volunteering they can do. Seems like an easy job to me. .

Just had a cuppa and off to bed.

Bet tomorrow morning I am 2lbs lighter. Always the case. My legs and arse do feel more toned tbf, and are a bit smaller in my jeans. And am definitely fitter. I couldn't run to save my life but I can definitely walk at a brisk pace for 20 mins without passing out.

Water - I too think fuck fuck fuck most days about my health. I’m actually really healthy. Walk about 16k steps a day, eat mega healthy. But just drink fucking wine!!!!!! And lots of it!!!!!

Frouby - next week, go to fat club with your lightest clothes you own!! Shave legs, take ear rings out etc. I used to even think ‘shit, I won’t wear make up today in case it weighs too much’ 😂😂. Must’ve been the jeans lovely 😉

Madame, your meal today sound gorgeous. I made some butter bean houmous for lunch and had it with a Greek salad. And home made pizzas for dinner. Dh had crap on top of his, mine was covered in spinach and olives!!

Was going to be dry.....then was going to have one glass of red........then had over half a bottle of Sauvignon ffs 🙈

NC4, sorry, i forgot to comment re airbnb. Omg how shitty. I am so glad you had somewhere to stay.

Flossie you made me lol re makeup weight! Intrigued by butter bean hummus.

Managed AF despite severe temptation at wine o'clock. Aiming for tomorrow too. Going for a bike ride with woodcraft folk which should help a bit.

Hi everyone! Long time lurker on this thread, so please can i join? I have got into the habit of drinking a bottle of wine most days and sometimes more at the weekend

I want wine to be a treat again, at the moment it feels like i am depriving myself if i dont have any

Hello Melmos and welcome. What you say about depriving yourself chimes with me.

Welcome from me, too Melmos. We are all in the same boat, in our various different ways and for our various different reasons.

Longest, well done for resisting.

PMSL at Flossie and the make-up 💅🏼

I have now decided that in addition to various forms of (hopefully imaginary) cancer, I've also got withdrawal symptoms after one sodding day AF. I feel absolutely horrendous - stomach ache, headache, either starving or feeling sick, more tired than I can ever remember being, etc, etc. FML a million times over. I am hoping I'm just coming down with something, because that would be better than being so dependent that I become ill when I give up!!

I'm tempted to try having a drink to see if this is the case, but OTOH I need to resist.

Welcome Melmos you will find lots of wine tea and sympathy here, as Dion says we are all in the same boat! I got into very good habits of only drinking one bottle over the weekend, but since living with someone who also likes a glass or two or three of red wine in the evening wine has become a habit rather than a weekend treat.

Dion I hope you aren't going down with anything too bad and feel better tomorrow, but it's good that you are AF, probably the only positive.

Longest struggling through Day 2 here. I have running club on Tuesday evenings and after the effort a reward of a cold beer or a glass of wine is always soo tempting, but I resisted tonight. It helps DP has also decided not to drink!

Melmos- I too see it as depriving myself if I don’t drink!! I hardly
Ever deprive myself fml

Dion - hope you feel better soon. Sounds like you’re coming down with something. Sounds horrid. Hope you on the mend soon.

Madame - I used to love running club. Such a positive place to be.

I’m in a bad place. Convinced myself I have cancer yet again. So pissed off with myself. Going to go back to gp I think. I need reassurance. Trouble is..no one can give me that reassurance as I never believe them ffs.

Dh being a dick tonight. I told him so too. Didn’t go down well..he’s now sulking and saying he won’t speak as he won’t be spoken to in that way!! Oh ffs he needs to get over himself tonight. He treats me like shit sometimes and now he’s gone all ‘victim’ on me!! Can’t be arsed so ignoring him!! And drinking Pinot!! Fml

Flossie, how fucking annoying of dh

Dion, bizarrely I sometimes look better with a hangover and feel better and feel shit after just one night AF. I get The Fear.

Drank last night but less than a bottle (only just)

AF tonight, knackered. Want to not drink tomorrow and Thursday but will see. Going to see MIL on Thursday after work, she has a biopsy tomorrow. Scary.

flossie stab the fucker if he doesn't like being spoken to like that. Twat.

dion I hope you feel better this morning. Hate feeling rough.

melmos welcome. I also feel deprived when I don't drink. Then feel happy when I go to bed that I haven't drank. I am Frouby and I am a knobhead 😁.

Wasn't dry last night. Got back from kayaking at 7.30pm so had time for 2 Budweisers before dinner. Sigh.

Probably won't be dry tonight either. Only have swimming after school so possibly will have a couple of gins. Mega busy today. House is minging, need to get some work done and need to get to ponies. 5.5 hours approximately to do it in, as well as do some food shopping. Fml.

Flossie you don’t need that shit. My kids are the bloody masters of becoming the victim but they are kids so it’s perhaps to be expected. And while I’m at it I’ll have a whine about the fact that I’m apparently the only adult in my immediate surroundings that bothers to figure out what needs to be done and than does things? Why do I have to think for everyone else too? Sure for the kids but they are kids but why for my staff at work all fucking day long and nanny and husband? Then of course everyone is damned if they do damned if they don’t. When someone actually takes it upon themselves to actually do something themselves without my direction them I’m all WTF? Why the hell would you do that?

Hi @melmos - this thread has really helped me to reduce.

I agree with @Frouby about stabbing the fucker if he doesn't like being talked to like that  my dh is a bit like that. I spend my life phrasing things in nicer way for other people but think dh should be able to put up with a bit of straight talking ffs.

I was AF again last week-that's 9 days! I was sorely tempted though as I just feel life is so fucking dull without drinking. I got a bottle of Sauvignon out of the fridge & carried it around the kitchen for about 10 minutes like a baby & then returned it.

Wine is the only thing I'm desperate for - friend & I used to say that we probably weren't alcoholics as if there was no wine we wouldn't be as tempted by other alcohol, maybe beer but I wouldn't be salivating over all the whisky etc.

@Dionysa I also have the fear of alcohol related illness. That & my weight are the main reasons for reducing. I couldn't cope with the guilt of having a self inflicted illness if I hadn't already taken some measures to improve my life. At least this way I'll be able to plead 'but I'm a reformed character now gov!'

My biggest struggle is leaving a half bottle of wine. I always things it needs used up. Think I'll treat myself to a reduced alcohol handbag when my wine savings add up.

@Waterandlemonjuice Hope mil is improving.

Morning Everyone! Thanks for all your replies it was such a lovely surprise when i got into work

Dionysa hope you are feeling better - it does sound like you are coming down with something. Try to not to worry (easier said than done i realise) i am forever worrying about some terminal disease that either me, DP or the dogs have (we don't have kids). The mind is so powerful and tricksy - honestly feel like my subconscious likes to take the piss out of me sometimes

MadameForest That's amazing! One bottle over the weekend is where i would love to get to. Totally agree it's so much harder when you both enjoy drinking as you both have to be in the right frame of mind (as i demonstrated last night!) I know that DP and I are terrible for enabling each other

Flossie Ha me neither! There's normally about half an hour before i leave work i start to feel sad and deprived and by the time i am in the car on the way home i think sod it i've have tough/good/boring/ending in y day so i deserve it. Sorry to hear about your DH, sulking is just so irritating, hanging around you like bad smell to show you how upset they are - go away! Or better still say sorry then make up for it be being nice. Also don't worry about the cancer thing (as i said to Dionysa) but definitely go to the GP so can get some reassurance

Frouby Sounds like we are singing from the same hymn sheet! Your baby pony is so cute btw. Hope you managed to get everything sorted and if not there is always today.

Wanted to come on last night but was too embarrassed - ended up having a bottle of wine Basically when I got in from work my DP said we'll be AF on Wed & Thurs but have a drink tonight and it seemed like the best idea in the world - you couldn't see us for dust skipping down to supermarket.

I thought that if we do something different tonight it should help, as if we just remove the alcohol for the evening it will just be worse version (!) of our normal evening. So we have said we'll go down to some nature reserves nearby for a walk with the dogs. Normally if i can get to 7pm without having bought alcohol it's not hard to do the rest of the night (famous last words).

Hope you are all having a good day and good luck with your goals for today

buckeejit Sorry i missed your post as it takes me an age to write a post. Well done for being AF for nine days that is amazing. It's bizarre reading your post as (other than being AF) i could have written it about myself, I would only really choose to drink a dry white or fizz. My fav is sauvignon blanc from NZ or Sancerre for a real treat (YUM).

Years ago i did sober for october and life sober is little dull static i thought, less lows but also less highs. I remember i got to first Sunday evening i thought wtf have i done with the weekend i might as well have been at work! Which sounds terrible rereading it.

Love the image or you carrying the wine - it's so impressive you've managed to do this with wine in the house

Flossie it is good to hear you are taking no crap. I often argue with dh about this. I am pissed off about something and it turns into a side argument about how i handled my complaint, which to me feels like deflection. Why not be sorry that you've done something to piss me off?! He has been better recently to be fair.

But also nodding along to Leaving. I asked dh to be sure to be home in time so i could leave dd2 behind as she was far too knackered to come to woodcraft folk. Surely it is then reasonable to expect that when i come in from woodcraft folk she might be somewhat more ready for bed than when i left? And then the fucker talked me into wine (ok it didn't take much) and we even opened a second bottle. Annoyed at self.

@melmos don't worry - I can't keep up with everyone on this thread & have to write notes & im quite difficult to offend! 

However I would never have no wine in the house - there's usually about 50 bottles!

@longestlurkerever - have similar with my dh - unless I specify all the things that need done, I get home to the bare minimum, it's like he doesn't have eyes. As I've said before he's sometimes one of those men who are too lazy to think! I'm trying out a written communal list of things that need done & hope that helps things

School is off on Friday so will struggle to get through tomorrow night AF if I manage tonight!

Dion how are you feeling today?

Flossie sorry about your DP, tell him to grow up.

Water I hope the results of MIL's biopsy are OK.

Just flying through, it sounds like if we got rid of our DPs being AF would be a lot easier. They drive us to drink either because they behave like dickheads or because they manage to persuade us to join them in a bottle glass or two - as they don't want to drink on their own. Wankerbastards.
Day 3 here, not sleeping brilliantly but that's probably partly the menopause. Have a lot more energy today despite a lack of sleep and eyes starting to better.

Hi everyone so unfortunately i am not writing this post from some cutesy nature reserve sober i am on sofa with a bottle of wine watching reruns of house. Had an absolutely useless day and felt awful this afternoon then foolishly called dp who went out to get me wine and pizza. Sweet but eugh. And then when i went to the park i found flyers about animal mutilation in the area we have just moved to with our lovely doggies. Double eugh. Literally wtf is wrong with people. I have huge amount of anxiety about the dogs and in constantly terrified something will happen so i am now terrified to let them in the garden alone. Its actually been a pretty lovely evening snuggled down so have decided to write off this week with alcohol and have monday and tuesday af rather than make myself feel guilty.

Madame - agree that partners can be a effing nightmare and know the right buttons to push. I told mine tonight that if we don't start sorting ourselves out soon we'll either end up alone or dead. Cheery! But true.

Buckeejit - holy moley 50 bottles! Ha you have some willpower. Ps your house sounds epic

Hope you've all had good days

Thanks for the good wishes, Tryers. Still feel like shit. No idea what's up, but I fell asleep sitting upright this afternoon, just because I sat down. My stomach hurts, but my head seems better. On the positive side, Day 3 AF (snap, Madame), and I have barely even noticed it. I didn't even have a fizzy drink substitute at the witching hour. Counting down the minutes until I can take DD's phone and go to bed.

Melmos, tomorrow is another day. Madame is right about partners being either nice enablers, or the causes of psychological torment that leads us to drink.

9 days is amazing, Buck.

Hugs to Flossie, with all you are going through. And to you and MIL, Water.