Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

Longest, good luck to DH.

Grin, welcome!

MadameF, your farting post made me laugh.

Water, Freudian Slit 🤣🤣🤣

Yet again, very much not dry. I would say DP is being horrible, but he isn't. He is just being the way he is.

Hi. Checking in

tick - yes, health anxiety when hungover
tick - yes, struggle to make down time and leave stress behind without drinking

I had dreams about losing my bank card last night. I had no way to pay for things, kept looking in various purses and bags and pockets for different cards and had nothing. This is not a complicated dream to interpret

Agh case in point. Bedtime has been going on for well over an hour and they're being pretty sweet really but omg am I ready for a bit of peace and headspace. Dd1 has been jabbering non stop about her theories about harry potter and dd1 has been so excruciatingly slow. So want wine to relax my mind. Will resist unless DH suggests it and then will crumble.

Dd2 being excruciatingly slow. Told you head was spinning. My reserves are so low at this time of night.

Haggis I the opposite, when I teach I hate drinking the night before as Il not 100% otherwise. That is one thing guaranteed to keep me AF. Although I make up for it at the weekend with a bottle of wine a night no problem.*

Grincheux* I love your pseudo, je suis très grincheuse if I've drunk too much the night before

Dion whatever DP is doing it isn't normal that he makes you feel so shitty.
Even if it is normal behavior for him. Hugs. Can you make yourself unavailable for a day or 14? You deserve better.

Not AF. Shared a Boyce with DP.
Saw DD at lunchtime because I work in Rennes where she is at University. Living with her friends isn't as easy as she thought and she is missing us (at least a little bit) Teaching has re started. Just as well because British people don't seem to want to holiday in France much at the moment!

What do you teach Madame? I thought all your time would be taken up with your gites. Lovely that you saw DD and she admitted to missing you, though I hope she settles really.

Not AF either. Resistance crumbled at DH's first suggestion of wine.

I’m in a pit of Pinot again. Altho I’m moderating of sorts. Had just over half a bottle and am stopping there. Am sipping this glass sooooo slowly.
Back to school today. Was the weirdest of feelings ever. Both dd’s went off really well. I can’t believe I’m writing this but dd2 did a WHOLE day!! I know this probably won’t last but I’m so very very proud of her. So why of fucking why am I feeling so shit. I feel like I’ve been dragged through a mangle emotionally and physically and mentally!! I’m done in!! I walked and walked today because I didn’t know what else to do. I walked 20k steps, went to the supermarket, tidied the house and basically paced. But she did it. I collected her and the smile and enthusiasm she brimmed with was jaw dropping!!
So why am I drinking?! It’s a kind of relief and release.

Oh Flossie I’m glad she made it. Madame, I’m not 100% in teaching after a drink either which is why I need to stop! 😂 tackled bedtime so much better tonight-screens off at eight and did activities with dc which they loved. Managed not to drink-hurray!

Longest I teach English to employees of French companies mostly, and some high school students studying entrance exams. Nothing like as pressurized as teaching in schools I'm sure
Flossie 20k steps is excellent, a is half a bottle instead of more, but nothing is as great as DD doing a full day at school after the holidays. I so hope it continues for her!

Oh Flossie, that is so fab. Though I can see why you had a drink - I would have, too.

Madame, you wouldn't believe the imaginary conversations I have with DP.

Yet another soaking wet evening here.

Morning!

My drinking app is saying 7 days AF. WOO! but it's counting today - Friday night is a flash point.

I have just looked at the week ahead. I'm making strict plans for the first time. If I can stick to these it will be unique. My whole life could be different.

Saturday - hanging out with a friend and her kids. If she stays to dinner I aim to have 3 glasses of wine max. If we only hang out in the day, no need to drink at all.

Sunday - I'll see boyfriend. I'll have a glass of wine. I never feel the need to drink a lot with him. Hoping it will be the same this time.

Monday - boyfriend has asked to stay at mine monday too. I've said yes. Think I may need to change this to no to give me a chance for exercise and headspace before the onslaught (will he understand this? Don't know. not sure what to do. Haven't seen him for nearly a month! Dying to see him, but... I need a gap in my week)

Tuesday: massive work event.

aiming for 3 glasses.

Fuck. T

Flossie that’s fab about DD. 20k steps and just a half bottle also excellent. Well done you and long may it continue.

Dion what would your life be like without DP? Just you and the kids? I mean once the attachment pangs wear off because of course you’d miss him dreadfully at first. I still miss XH from time to time, a year on.

Senseless you are smashing September out of the park! Would your boyfriend stay home while you exercise so you still have him there but get some time out? Whatever, I’m sure he won’t mind. It’s good to take care of yourself.

Busy for me here. Working my arse off. It’s ridiculous really. My app says day 6 too.
Went back to fat club this week. It was bad. Very bad. Almost broke the scales 🙈

@SenselessUbiquity that is amazing. Been years since I've done 7 days AF but have managed 3 this week while feeling down & v hormonal. Can't stop crying & feeing gloomy & am so bloody sick of myself.

@longestlurkerever - glad you had a good start with dh. Fx for next stage

@Flossie44 - sounds like great progress with dd, long maynit continue!

@blissa1 my dc are 6 & 9 & though they are lovely they make such a fucking mess everywhere, I could drink morning, noon & night. I have terrible guilt - I also like to smoke a wee roll up when I drink & am v overweight so double guilt about it!

My dh has pledged to be sober for the month. The whole month?!! I don't know how to navigate this as he won't be sharing my wine & I can't have any left over on Monday or will be tempted. Has anyone any tips for surviving an AF weekend? it's bad that this seems so unachievable & so so dull.

Thanks!

I posted too soon because dd walked in. I was going to say: if I manage 3 glasses of wine (1 champagne, 1 white, 1 red) at the work thing on Tuesday it will be an absolute miracle. I have never managed to do that event anything other than steaming drunk or white knuckling it stone cold sober with an early taxi booked. I'm going to try moderation and a taxi at a reasonable hour. REALLY going to try.

which is why I may need space on Monday evening to get my head together

Buckeejit - can you drink wine in little bottles?

If really gunning for the sober weekend - what can't you do while drinking that you like?
Driving somewhere fun and cool?
Do you drink in the bath / bed - long bath and good book in bath / bed?

I have a totally different attitude on drinking nights and not drinking nights. If you can identify an activity that can plug you into a non-drinking brain it might help you just see those nights as different - maybe something completely different for you?

Solidarity to all those tearing their hair out with kids. the UNTIDINESS - AAAARGH!

Buckeejit go out to the cinema, or something else and drive - that always keeps me AF without a problem. If your DH is going to be AF that will make things a lot easier for you.

Well, the force is strong this evening. I was hoping to make it through to a day 7 but not sure I have the inner strength.
Why does Friday = drink? It's just a day. It does though.

Day 7 NC4? You are doing brilliantly and a million times better than me. Good luck Senseless and Buckeejit too!

I have just poured a glass I am afraid. Knackered after day off with dd2. Went ice skating and to burger place (her choice).
Also braved shoe shopping for DC after school. Managed to get pair for dd2 at the Clarks outlet shop after much drama (she wanted ones with flashing lights but, being the outlet shop, a lot no longer worked. Eventually located pair with lights that satisfied shoe fitter and my wallet. But dd1 wanted boots. Of which there were none. So spent an age in traffic to go to recommended place who then said they "might have some in next week". I was slight snippy about kids" shoe shop possibly wanting to consider getting their winter shoes in for the start of term and stomped off to outrageously expensive but rather lovely kids' shoe shop 5 mins walk from home where dd1 fell in love with gorgeous bronze boots that don't fit very well. Obviously shopkeeper could see I had no fight left one so she allowed us to take them on sale or return for the weekend as long as she doesn't wear them outside. So battle deferred till tomorrow at least.

Still have rotten throat and no energy but at least have wine and both kids in bed by 8pm. Winning.

How are everyone"s DC settling back in?

I'm seconding the awe at Day 7, NC4.

Longest, I feel your pain. I'm so glad we don't have to do school shoe shopping any more. Mine are both glad to be back at school. Though DD came home in tears because one of her friends has been stirring with another one (about her). Joy and delight.

Day One, astonishingly, tonight. That's despite being upset about DP (constant theme ATM). It is in fact because I'm hungover and headachey and just can't face it. Even more astonishingly, I cba to be that upset with him, either. I'm too tired.

Buck, three days this week is fantastic. Especially if you're down and hormonal.

Senseless, I am full of admiration.

Not much else to say. Miserable and tired.

I've caved as was really wanting a glass hit the battle has made it taste less good. May just have the one glass or 2, (I'm using tasting glasses so quite small) & save the rest for tomorrow.

I can't do all month as I'm in the wine society so have to go to the monthly meeting & drink 8 wines then!

@longestlurkerever - I haven't even bought ds new shoes yet. I got really angry at Clarks 2 years ago as they were advertising shoes with a hidden pencil & app & they were £15 more than normal ones. Ended up with Asda that year & they were great. Waiting for Harry Potter ones to come back in to Asda now...the shoe stress is real!

Yes Friday = wine. I've been up pretty much since 4am so will want an early night which helps (hopefully!)

Gave in and drank wine last night so did 4 AF days this week.

Drinking tonight but enjoying it, in bed watching crap tv and feeling happy!

Flossie, so pleased about dd 🙂

NC4 well done on 7 days!

Dion sorry you're feeling rubbish

Bloody hell you are all doing so immensely well!! Well done to all those AF days you have under your belts.

As for me, I just can’t do it!! I have no will power. Not even a conversation in my head about trying!! I’m drinking and not thinking about it!! So pissed off though, I’m immensely healthy every other way. I walked 17k steps today, eat a vegetarian, almost vegan diet, no processed food. Then wash it all down with bloody wine!! And because of that my health anxiety is horrific!! Fml!!

Fml, did a big post then lost it.

To summarise, you are all fabulous amazing people who are doing so well.

Not dry last night and have a banging headache this morning. 3 x cans of lager, 3/4 bottle of wine. Enjoyed it though, got to admit.

Will be relatively dry tonight, probably just finish the wine. Have to get dd to lake for 8.15am for her dragonboat racing. So dropping her, picking my mam and auntie up then watching for as long as it takes. Think they do heats so if they get knocked out early will be a short day. Last race about 4.30pm so could be a long day, but it's their first race so not anticipating too much. Dd is ridiculously excited.

Off to see my mam this morning as it's her birthday, then going to get a few jobs done and collapse on the sofa for the evening. Ds is knackered from the first week back and says he's going to get his pjs on when he gets home and chill 😄😄😄. Funny little thing he is.

Flossie I am totally with you. Seem to have lost all willpower. But I have no excuse really as things are ticking along a bit better than previously. Need a kick up the bum. Taking a leaf out of Frouby's book and attempting shed clear out. Got ugly plastic one for free locally and although it's a bit of an eyesore it's better than whole garden being a pile of junk. But am at the stage where everything looks worse than before I began and am getting bored. Am also going to try and get rid of various little tykes plastic stuff that has been well played with but is becoming outgrown, sob.
Sophisticated, grown up but soulless garden here I come! To be fair it is still dominated by massive swing and slide set that is going nowhere fast.

I think I had a similar amount to you last night Frouby. A bottle of red and two cans of G&T. I actually really enjoyed the G&Ts and thought I could have happily had just those. It was too late by then though.
I reckon my head would have thanked me this morning too. Ah well.
That’s my drinking done for the week. I think I might have cracked weekend drinking.

Shoe shopping. My god. I’m glad we’re done with that for the most part. DS2 and I were in and out of Sports Direct quick enough for the half hour free parking.

I need a shed. At the moment I have 3 BMXs cluttering up my dining room. I only have a small yard though. There’s a great wood yard near me that recycled wood and creates new things. It’s all done by adults with learning difficulties. I keep meaning to ask them to build me a bike store. Then I can join Frouby and Longest in the shed crew.

Dion just some virtual hugs for you.

It’s definitely starting to feel Autumnal here. I’ve never been a fan till I lived here but now I have wood burners I quite enjoy the darker nights.