Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

I thought my pelvic floor was nice and tight after 2 elcs (breach babies). It's not you know. Bounce, bounce, piss. Fuck sake. It also explains why I can't use tampax anymore. Feels like they are choking me from the chuff upwards.

dion x posted with you. My dd has been relatively pleasant since finding watersports. I think it's more to do with who she is watersportsing with tbh. A very nice, very boybandesque lad who just happens to be the headcoaches son. He's a lovely lad, well brought up, kind, very polite and lovely to dd. But he's 17 to dds 15, he's in upper 6th, compared to dds year 11. So am hoping he sees her as a nice, young girl who he should support and encourage in the teams, but definitely not get romantically involved with.

Think dd already planned the wedding, how many dcs and names. Sigh, she's smitten. Apparently they chat by txt message, am hoping it sticks to text message as I don't know if I am comfortable with the age gap. Dd is only just 15 (July) and a very young 15 when it comes to boyfriends and stuff.

So while its nice she's so pleasant, am aware of a potential issue rumbling away in the background. Added to the age difference I have also pointed out to her that if she did become more than friends and it didn't work out, she would feel very awkward dragon boating and canoe poloing, especially as it's his dad that coaches the polo team.

Oh God, Frouby, it's a complete minefield. My DD is also a summer-born 15 yo. She's very grown up in some ways, and very much a child in others. I am hoping she's immune to 17 yo boys as a result of having a loathed 17 yo brother - but I fear this is not the case.

I hope your DN gets on ok with the change in meds.

Fail here. DD launched an attack on me, as DS is out so she has nobody else to argue with. She claimed I was looking for an argument because I spoke to her. FFS. I was looking to have a quiet dinner and go to bed. However, I have finished my gin instead.

Frouby I'm the same, both my DC were emergency CS so I thought no pelvic floor problems but I suffer too. If if had had a 3rd baby I would have qualified for a pelvic floor operation but 3 is the magic number for family allowance as well as a tight pelvic floor. One specialist I saw told me it was ridiculous to run as much as I do and one day all of my insides would fall out, but I think she was just jealous.
My DD has no serious boyfriend before 17 and a half and talked to me about everything when she started having sex. I'd never have talked to my mother about that and I was far worse starting just before 16 y o. Saying that she thinks she is grown up now, on holiday in Lisbon with her friends but she has phoned most days for help with something or other 🙄although I'm quite pleased really. It's nice to be useful at last 😂
Nc4 Enjoy the pub
Longest enjoy your web after 2 nights AF
Dion enjoy whatever you are drinking and don't forget DD will be leaving home before you know it.
Not dry this week but no more than half a bottle. Making the most of the dry weather and last week of the holidays by being outside and doing lots of sport gardening. Also cleared out wardrobe which was we'll overdue. As long as I have good jeans and enough running clothes I'm happy.

Gah, boys! I guess I will be dealing with that before I know it. Sad to say Frouby but a 17yo nice lad from dragon boat racing might be one of the better options. I remember lots of my 15 year old mates going out with much older guys. It seemed normal then but now I just think wtf!!!??? I met DH at 16. He was 2 school years ahead of me but only 6 months older in real life as he skipped a year so was just about to go to uni when I had just finished gcses

Ahh frouby, my daughter is a year behind yours and I’m hoping it will be a while before I’m facing boyfriends or potential crushes. She doesn’t seem interested in anything apart from sport right now. Also, she’s having enough problems with friendships. Any advice on dealing with bitchy friends?! She asked me what to text back to one of them..I wanted to say ‘tell her to piss off’ but dd is so diplomaitc and kind, she doesn’t want to offend her!!

Dion - ahhhhh recycling bins!! That broughbback so many memories about ds. Was farrrrrrrrrrr too busy to do it..but everytime I checked him, he was asleep!! Hope you enjoyed your gin.

Madame - was it wierd dd talking to you about sex?? Ds talked to me about it and told me of a one night stand he had. But I’m wondering if it would be harder with girls..

NC4 - how was the pub?? I’m ok thanks lovely.

So I’d planned Day 2 yesterday but failed!! Dd1 had a friend over for the day. I was taxi, followed by slave. Dh then came home moaning about work. So despite probably being able to stay strong if I’d tried a weeny bit harder. I caved and had 2 gins. Stopped there despite wanting more though.
Wrote off yesterday diet wise..ate my body weight in chocolate too!! Ffs.

New day today..good food and a run this evening.

flossie I think friendship groups issues are harder than sorting boys out! It's a nightmare when they fall out. Dd has one really close friend at school then a group of about 4 or 5 girls she is close to. Luckily by about year 9 they had formed their little group and don't seem to fall out. But year 7 and 8 was a nightmare.

I try and be really open with dd about sex and relationships and boys. She hates it lol, but have told her that if she ever needs to discuss anything with me she can, and that if she can't discuss it with me then speak to my sister who she is close to. Told her that if she ever feels she wants to discuss birth control I will make her the appointment at the docs, have given her the docs number incase she doesn't want to speak to me first and told her it's her body and her choice.

Had 3 250ml peroni last night, had 4 so have 1 left for tonight after kayaking if I fancy it. Me and ds going to do some baking this morning, just off for some ingredients now. Wish me luck 😂😂😂

Flossie I never really had to force a discussion with DD, we've always had quite an close relationship I suppose because I'm a single mum and we live fairly geographically isolated from other family who are in the UK. She has always spoken to me and asked advice about things like that. It's a completely different relationship to the one I had with my own mother - but the times have changed. There is no way I'd have worn my mum's clothes or spoken to her about sex, normal or bum
I'm not sure it will be as easy with DS, I think he will confide in his big sister rather then me. She is more of a mother to him than me in many ways because of the 6 year age gap and me being busy doing everything dads as well as mums usually do.

I have always had a mega open relationship with ds when it comes to talking about all kinds of sex, inc bum lol. I’m glad we have. He’s even had to explain things to me while playing cards against humanity 😂. Dd however is so closed. I’ve tried. I’m generally very open about everything and often get told by dh to tone it down. I just hope that dd feels comfortable enough to open up to me when she’s ready. She’s mega shy.

I’m due to start a 4 week residential rehab programme in a week. Quite frankly i’m absolutely bricking it. I’m majorly stressing about being away from my children and what to tell them but also things like whether my husband will cope with all the crap (the delude of sodding ParentMails and manage to keep our kids and pets alive) and how to deal with work - it’s keeping me awake at night and is going round and round my head in the daytime.
Does anyone have any success stories which can reassure me i’m doing the right thing? Right now I feel like i’m being an incredibly selfish cow by buggering off for 4 weeks however things have reached breaking point with my drinking.

That’s the same as in my house Flossie. DS1 will talk to me about anything, told me when his relationship with his girlfriend moved to the next level etc.
DS2 absolutely cringes at any mention of sex.

Hi puppysmum- welcome. We can all be here to support you. With alcohol, plus the strains and stresses of life that send us all looking for a drink.
Well done on getting help. Please don’t see that as selfish. You are doing that to become healthier, in body and mind, that in turn will roll on towards your children and their perception of the world. I think you are brave. And in fact a billion times stronger than me. I’m too scared to even mention it to my gp. So hats off to you. Is dh supportive in terms of you getting help? Good luck. We are all here for you x

Hi all. Welcome Puppys. Really good luck for the retreat. Sounds like a really life affirming thing to do. Are you aiming for AF or moderation afterwards? On this thread we are aiming for moderation but many say it's the hardest route.

Had day out at theatre with DM and DC. Was great but I did have a drink at the theatre - ok 2 halves. Resisted carrying on though and was all set for bath and early night as shattered but friend wants to come and get her passport form signed. She's walking over and is still not here. Is it antisocial to offer tea instead of wine? Half fancy a catch up but am done in.

I hope all goes well @PuppysMum1 you are incredibly brave. Your dcs will be fine. Have you ever watched the old Meg Ryan film, When A Man Loves A Woman? It's a brilliant film, the lead played by Meg Ryan goes into rehab. It's very difficult for her and I can't remember the ending but it did cover the relationship side. I think it did have a hapoy ending. Know it's fiction but it's a lovely film, and worth watching just for a young Andy Garcia. It's nothing like her other films of the same time, quite dark in places.

Am just sat with a beer, been kayaking/dragon boating. Well supervising from the side of the lake. Watched dd and her crush tonight, it's very flirty from both sides 🙈. But he is a lovely lad, and actually although physically he looks 17, he's quite young like dd is. I suppose it's going to be one of the things I have to just stand back and watch to a certain extent. My first boyfriend when I was 15 was my age, but a proper scally. When I was just 16, my next boyfriend was 17, but 2 school years older so the same age gap. And he was lovely. He's now in the police force which I found out when MIL died suddenly and unexpectedly in the middle of the night.

Me in my pjs, and absolutely distraught FIL and dh, though he was dp then, and SIL screaming on the floor. Only me coherent enough to give information to police, sat down and looked up and there is my teenage sweetheart. And I broke his heart for another scally after 2 years together. Awkward much.

Dd hates me talking about sex or periods but I do anyway lol. She does like asking about ex boyfriends though. Poor little thing would die a thousand deaths if she knew half of it. She was shocked to the core a few months ago when she realised my brother occasionally smokes weed. Maybe when shes not as naive and inncoent I will tell her more. Or maybe not. I think it's so important to be able to discuss sex, periods, relationships, drugs, alcohol.

She is very anti alcohol though. Have said since she was 14 she's welcome to have a drink at home with us if we have a party, a fruit cider or prosecco or beer. But she's tried them all but doesn't like the taste. Which is good as I don't think I could cope with the giggling 😂😂😂.

Oh God, teenagers and sex. Mine tell me either too much or too little. I have warned them that if they tell me too much, I will reciprocate. That normally deters them.

DD is quite happy to blether away about she's going to try a ONS when she's older, but still dies on the spot if I even so much as whisper the word "periods".

Puppysmum, good luck. As Flossie says, you're doing a fantastic things for yourself and your whole family. I did mention it to my GP, then backtracked about 1,000 miles.

Sulking through Day 1 (that is now my expression for it, Longest). Had to, as I have just had to collect DD from a friend's. So can't claim any Brownie points for it.

Isn’t it wierd how teenagers either tell you toooooo much or run a mile when you talk about fanny’s!!
Well../was going to be dry tonight but after an hour in Clark’s shoe shop, I’ve demanded dh bring me wine home (I don’t keep it in the house anymore!)
Dd isn’t talking to me. She’s bollocked me about health. We are doing couch to 5k together. Generally we are mega healthy and are openly conscious about healthy eating/processed food etc. I mentioned wine and she told me I was a hypocrite and not to drink blah blah!! Anyway, dh brought wine home.....now dd not talking!! Whatever!! Fml!!

I thought I had done a really good job with dd about periods. From the age of 9 I discussed them, bought her every kind of sanpro possible, got the 'whats happening to me' book, was really open and discussed everything even though she was mortified.

Was really proud when she came and told me. Gave her a cuddle, bought her chocolates and flowers, ran her a bath, we had hot chocolate and watched a GBBO together.

Left a top up of sanpro on her bed 2 weeks later. She came and asked why. Said for next time love, did you want a different brand? What next time she wanted to know, is it not just once?

She cried when I told her it was once a month 😂😂😂. Poor bugger thought it was once, then non til you had a baby, then another one once you had had the baby.

Oh bless her Frouby 🤣 As a newly uncoiled I can relate to that. What? I bleed? Every month? FML 🙈
My mum was always pretty open and honest about sex. She thought she was totally radical and cool and I suppose for her generation she probably was. She did ok at sex ed.
Not sure I’m so cool. DS1 is all open and honest about sex as long as it stays a young people thing. People my age don’t do it, the HORROR!!! 😂

I wonder if it’s a broken home thing? I grew up knowing my mum and dad had sex (although for the first 15 years I thought it had only happened twice - me and our kid).

Mine haven’t got the security of a solid parental relationship. I feel a bit sad now.

I think everyone is grossed out by the idea of their parents having sex NC4. Is the natural order.

Friend had tea but then because I was still up when dh got home from pub quiz we had a sherry (saddos we are). And now we have visitors (different ones) for five days so can't see those being dry. dsis is pregnant but it's Saturday night that she's here so would be tough.

Agh I am so pissed off with dd1. She is being so rude, defiant, surly and a bully to dd2. We are on a day out with her friend which doesn't help but the rudeness started before her friend even arrived and she is always unkind to her sister. I don't really know how to handle it. Getting cross makes no difference. Threats just escalate things so she is pissed off as well as behaving badly - they don't seem to actually have an impact. They also make me feel like the ogre parent because I am the one that's forever barking at them and issuing ludicrous threats. The other parents all seem to stay calm but I don't know whether they just never say no -if I believed the friend that's the case "my mum lets me wear no sun cream" "my dad lets me have just crisps for lunch" "I never have to use a booster seat in my car" . They all seem quite defiant tbh. tlThere's no way I would have acted like that with friends' parents- but I can't blame the parents as dd1 is among the worst offenders. Doesn't help that my period has arrived so I am on a very short fuse but I think they are genuinely being brats too.

I am so ready for next week and back to school longest. Ds is lippy and gobby too, answers back when dd would never dare and just generally feral.

Just taken him to barbers, an hour and 20 minutes we sat there fml. If I had realised it would be so long would have just booked in for tomorrow instead.

My house is scratty and dusty and untidy. All the windows need cleaning. Fridge is desperate for a clean. Pile of ironing up the wall. Sofas and carpets need cleaning. Every skirting board is dusty and all the doors want wiping down. Kitchen needs a blitz and I need to sort a mountain of paperwork out.

Obvs I am going to do all that between now and Wednesday when ds is back at school 😂😂😂. So Wednesday I can drop him off then just sit for a couple of hours in complete silence.

I really ought to be doing something now, but tbh am bloody knackered and am not sure why, didn't get up until 8.30am, been to M and S and Next and to barbers and that's it really.

M and S 2 dine for £12 is on this weekend. Might have got 3 🙈. 1 veggie pasta thing for dd and ds to share tomorrow, 1 for ke and dh to share tomorrow and 1 rotisserie chicken for Sunday lunch. But obvs you get wine. So have a bottle in the fridge for later.

So not dry but hopefully not soaking wet either.

Ah thanks Frouby. Have come to the playground at activity farm place and I am sitting in the sun rocking quietly and ignoring them so feeling a bit better. But I do need to go home at some point and tackle hideous tip of a house as my aunties are coming to stay (short notice as they got the date wrong). They're pretty forgiving but house is in bombsite territory at the moment.

Ds has surprisingly been OK with doing less the last couple of weeks, I don't think we've been out out for 2 weeks. Feel slightly guilty for him, and for my mste round the corner who I said I would do something with and txt, but it's a bit late now. But have been busy with ponies and allotment and kayaking and had a party this week as well. So not got round to it.

Walking up to the lake tomorrow morning though, it's an Asian dragon boat festival, loads of races and Asian food stalls and dancing and stuff. Apparently 3000 asians are attending, so will be busy and bustling. Dh working and taking my car as his needs a repair doing so will be nice not to feel housebound and wouldn't take the car as it will be so busy.

Tidied round downstairs, cleaned the living room window and debating starting on the paperwork cabinet.

It's either the cabinet or carling 😂😂😂

Frouby the Asian dragon boat thing sounds fun tomorrow! I hope there isn't too much wrong with your car. I've just cleaned my fridge. There are at least 10 bottles of ketchup and 10 jars of mustard thanks to gite guests leaving them behind. Enough stock for the next year.
Longest I hope you manage to get your house tidied before your aunts arrive. Visitors are always a good excuse for a blitz.
Just buried one of my guinea pigs. He was at least 5 years old so I guess not a bad age.
I had some blood tests done and I'm borderline anaemic again. I wondered why my muscles felt tired, why I was getting dizzy when running and why my hair has been falling out. I'm worried the lack of iron is because of alcohol abuse. Its unusual for a menopausal woman to be iron deficient because we no longer have periods so no regular blood loss. Of course it could be because I rarely eat meat and haven't been eating enough vitamin C (oranges are my favourite fruit but disgusting in summer).

Awww poor piggy, we have piggys too, lovely little things they are. Really interactive and quite intelligent for little furries. It's dhs car needs mending, just a spring he thinks so not too bad.

Will take photos of the dragon boat thing. Ds will love it, he's really interested in different cultures at the moment. Am hoping they have some Asian sweet stalls. I used to work in Manchester on Stockport Road sometimes (the curry mile) and some of the sweets are beautiful.