Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

Longest what Flossie said you are definitely not lazy! You do so much with your DD, for the family and you have a demanding job. My DC are older so I have more time to do sport etc. You are a fab mum, I wish I had been as good as you with my two.

Aw, it is nice to hear that I give that impression. I enjoy doing stuff with the kids - days out and outdoor stuff. I am less good around the house. It's always a tip and I am snappy and impatient getting them ready. I just stropped at dd2 and stomped off because she was adding about not getting ready for bed.

You are all bloody amazing.
Just got back home after three weeks of travelling which in large part was dealing with super old in-laws and my not so old but sick, bitter and twisted parents (they are lovely but challenging these days). It’s heavy combined with young kids who are occasionally delightful and often a pair of little dicks. frouby what did you end up doing while ‘taking one for the team’?

Ah my house is a tip, too. We are all doing the best we can. Im making a crib sheet for dh with a response to all of my excuses reasons for wanting to drink in the hopes it will stop me in my tracks.

Oh god leaving that sounds tough. A generation up or down are generally hard to deal with. Both together and I’d be seeping booze from every pore.
I love hearing what everyone’s up to.
I took my two for a day out in Manchester yesterday. It was Pride so it was pretty heaving in places. They bickered a fair bit till I darted into Pizza Express, fed them and had a large glass of wine. After that the day picked up!
We found a Northern Soul festival which me and DS1 loved. DS2 said it was just old people dancing but I love the way they dance to NS.
Then there was a beach set up with deckchairs and sandcastles so DS1 and me drank cider in the sunshine while DS2 had a massive Oreo milkshake.
My days of sitting by the edge of the park while they play are long gone, but it’s still nice to show them the world a bit sometimes.
AF tonight because I also went to the pub when we got home, and woke up in a panic this morning.
I’m all for a healthy September, with the rest of you.

Morning all

leaving we went to a little country park we hadn't been to before. Its got a mill museum, a little petting farm and a reservoir to walk round. Ds enjoyed it anyway.

Am mega pissed off with dh. He's worked the last 3 Saturdays so this weekend was the first I have had a bit of help really as when he's done 6 days I don't ask for anything as I understand he's tired.

He's been incredibly selfish. And actually tried to be quite controlling. He knew Sunday I wanted to go bath the pony, so kicked off wanting 'family time'. Which was just to stop me going. Yesterday he got up and suggested we go to the wildlife park, which he knows I wanted to go to, but I told him Sunday I was going to bath pony no matter what, and he was trying to get me not to go. He hates me going to the yard at a weekend, thinks it should be kept to the week, weekend is family time blah blah fucking blah.

It's only family time because he cba to have ds on his own. Told him I would take ds with me but he wanted to stay with dh. Then he went for a walk around the lake with ds and the dog for 'family time'. I was busy cleaning up, so said I wasn't going, trying to mend the bastarding washing machine. Phonecall 25 mins later, could I pick them up as ds was tired. He walks round that lake 3 or 4 times a week, kayaks around it too, but couldn't manage to get past the cafe?

So picked them up, and I pissed off to stables, they went to allotment and came back with a bag of cooking apples and a bag of blackberries for 'mummy to make apple and black crumble, it only takes 20 mins mummy, and we really want one'.

Told dh to make his own fucking crumble. He's fucked off every morning for an hour (to the bookies which I hate as I know its a fucking mugs game), invited the ndns round friday despite me saying not to, qe had bbq Saturday which involves him moving the bins and building up the bbq then declaring that he's done his bit, fucking annoyed me Sunday by ignoring what I wanted to do because he didn't want me to do it, then tried his best yesterday to stop me doing it.

He said last night he aches with 'all the running around with ds he's done'. I just laughed, pointed out we were out 2 hours sunday with him, which is nothing and he did about 1/3 of the walk we usually do on monday. Then phoned for a lift home. And that I had had 5 weeks of taking him out and keeping him busy.

Am having words with him if he tries this shit again. He seems to think I should limit ponies to week days only, as they don't interest him unless we are going to a show. Problem is I work in the week like him, then have dcs to deal with, and after school ds isn't always wanting to go, and to be honest ponies are my down time and I occasionally like to go on my own, especially to do BabyPony as shes not a kids pony and I am watching ds like a hawk. LittlePony is pretty good round the dcs, BabyPony is but still a baby pony at the end of the day.

Oh he also moaned because he suggested we all go bath BabyPony and I said no. Said I would take dcs if I had to but didn't want dh to come as he doesn't enjoy it, moans about the yard, moans I am taking to long then starts chivvying me along when he thinks we have been long enough. He's also a liability up there and I need to watch him doing stupid stuff more than the dcs, and when I tell him he takes offence and strops like a spoilt kid.

Sorry, know that's an epic moan. Am glad he's gone to work this morning anyway 😁. Dcs are booked in for a kayaking fun day so dropping them off for 9am, got my VAT return to do then check ponies, clean house, feed chooks and all usual jobs. Fml. Wasn't dry yesterday, had a few beers. Aiming for dry tonight though, and have downloaded The Sober Mummy or whatever it is as inspiration for September.

But BabyPony looked lush all scrubbed up so worth all the drama I think 😁

Aww frouby. Sounds like he’s being a bit of a tit and wants attention. Is he jealous of you going to the yard? Wants your attention?
I know I’m the worst one to give advice on husbands right now, but he seems mega peeved that you have a hobby that doesn’t involve him, and will try all the tricks in the trade to stop you going. You sound so strong and you did great in putting your foot down. My friend calls them man-babies. They’re spoilt brats really aren’t they. He’s acting like a child, treat him like a child.
As for the bbq....why do men feel they’ve done a bbq when in reality they sit by it with a pair of tongs in their hand, shouting demands for plates, and other equipment. They can’t possibly go get it because they’re ‘watching the bbq’ 🤯🤯

He is a brat Flossie, constantly wants my attention like a bloody spoilt child. I am quite independent, happy with my own company, happy as a pig in shit at the yard just pottering around, happy doing the same at home or on the allotment and I try to be aware that he craves company and doesn't like being alone. But when it's affecting those few hours a week I get doing what I want to do it's fucking infuriating.

Have got from now until 4pm alone though. Loves my kids and they are good company generally but am so ready for them to go back to school now. Ds is feral, dd seems to think that I am a bloody taxi service and sick of hearing them squabble. Add a moody, attention craving husband into that mix for 3 days and it's no wonder I feel like running away!

Maggot eared pony nutter just sent an apology text. Leaving her to sweat, yard owner back tomorrow and I know it's not a sincere apology, she just trying to get out of trouble 😁.

Well he dropped himself in it earlier, said he 'let me' go to the yard on Monday to bath pony.

Might have gone nuclear on his arse 😂😂😂. Said at 41 years old no one lets me do anything, I either do something or I don't. And he was lucky really it's only playing ponies I want to do, could be more like some people and go clubbing of a weekend, or for beauty treatments or spa weekends or on girls holidays. And after 5 weeks of school holidays, not working because ds, not having a break because he has worked 6 days a week I don't think 3 hours (an hour of which was driving) was too much to fucking ask.

As long as he 'lets me' that is. Silly twat. It's not often I kick off like that but the fucker has really annoyed me. Told him that for his information I will be going to the yard for at least 3 hours every weekend over winter, and he can like it or lump it. Of course he can take 3 hours to do what he wants as well. Then the rest of the time can be family time. Fucker.

What a twat he is frouby. I’m enforced af tonight as we don’t have cash for the cash only bar! I’m quite glad now, but I was a little irrationally cross at first.

Although I have just hidden in the bathroom to have a fudge, so the dc don’t hear!

Arghhhhhhh frouby!! What was he thinking saying he ‘let you’?!?! What a knobber!!
How did he react when you went nuclear?? Did he realise what a twat he’s sounded??

He did I think realise he was a knobber. He's not usually to be fair. An annoying fucker sometimes but not a full weight wankerbastard.

I jumped on it so quickly he didn't know what had hit him. Was stuttering and stumbling over his words, trying to explain he didn't mean it that way, trying to say sorry blah blah blah. I didn't even shout, just said 'you let me? You let me do what? No one lets me do anything, who do you think you are?' Then went boom.

He's not felt well since 😂😂😂. He's just got up for work then came back up saying he feels ill, he's not sure if he should go. Told him to do what he wants cos he's an adult, but I am out most of the day so he will have to look after himself if he doesn't go.

haggis a cash only bar and no cash would have me in the car looking for a cash machine . You're a better woman than me.

Frouby “then went boom” 😂😂😂😂

Haggis - I’m with frouby.....I’d have been in the car looking for cash machine too!! Many a time, I’ve dragged the kids out just so I can go get a bottle of wine!! You certainly are a strong ‘un!!

Hi all. Have sulked through two nights of AF. Even turned down glass of wine at neighbour's yesterday. Dunno whether to stick with it a couple more days. Is just as much about the food really. Badly need to lose weight.

Frouby glad DH is repentant after his uncharacteristic knovbery. I sometimes have to have words with mine too if he starts taking on man of the house airs.

Ended up staying at home yesterday after dd1 got invited round to neighbour's. Was kind of bored tbh, though finally managed to tackle brambles in the garden. Discovered that neighbour has tackled our shared stolen railway land and it looks a bit more inviting- like a proper extra bit of garden, so dd2 and I camped out there on a hammock reading in the shade. It is painful listening to little ones read though - like pulling teeth. I am glad I am not a teacher.

Have been to park this morning with a family from dd2's new class. Have said I'll take neighbours' kids to trampoline park later. Then tomorrow am off to theatre with my mum and kids to see Peter Pan. I love Peter Pan. Am more excited than the kids. Friday I am meeting dsis at Peppa pig world which was my idea but am now regretting as it's expensive and a long way. Would probably have been better combined with a weekend in the new forest but I left it too late and everything is booked up or expensive. Oh well.

Deffo going for wine tonight I am afraid. On the plus side we cycled to the trampoline park and I joined in the jumping so have done a bit of exercise. Was contemplating a swim as well but is getting a bit rainy.

Neighbour whose DD I was minding was at the hospital and it turns out he has kidney cancer. It sounds like all should be ok after an operation. Really hope so- he's a good guy and friends with DH.

My dd1 does behave so badly when their DD is here though. She's so rude and demanding - I think she thinks it's impressive to her friends. I am not very good at dealing with it calmly though- feel like I am always barking at them.

Catching up after a BH weekend of family things which have kept me away from my computer.

Frouby, I really, really need to channel you in my dealings with DP. It's the reverse here. I asked him the other day if he minded me going out and doing something, and he just looked at me as if I was weird and said "why are you asking for my permission?" I then apologised . I need lessons from you in standing up for myself.

Longest, I love "sulked through two nights AF". That's always how AF feels to me. Haggis, you did well not to be finding a way to get some cash.

I had written off the weekend as one great drinks fest, but in the end, it could have been worse. I saw a friend on Monday, who's normally a terrible enabler, but she'd been unwell so was relatively restrained (a G&T each and a shared bottle of white). Yesterday, friends came but were driving, so we only had two bottles between six of us. I didn't want to be the only drunk one in the room, so that was ok. In fact, it felt like 'normal' drinking.

I'm pissed off tonight, though, so will no doubt have a drink soon. DD has been a complete PITA all day. Everything is my fault. Including the fact that we have no milk and no bread, because she used them up at 4AM but didn't bother to tell me. Urgh.

I wish I could be a bit more like DP when it comes to alcohol. He drinks loads, but then decides to have a break. Which he then does, for a week or so, just like that. He seems to be able to stop and start at will.

I always find other kids change the dynamics in the house as well, I really don't like kids round miserable git that I am. Although ds seems better than what dd was at the same age, but he's generally more gobby anyway so perhaps I don't notice as much.

Been to great nieces birthday party today at local soft play. Now on the peroni as a reward for not only doing soft play hell, but seeing all my family at the same time. Lo e them all, like them separately but together they make Shameless look like classy people. Dd buggered off for a sleepover at my dsis house which is fine because it's my lovely sister.

Her dd, my niece is the little one with epilepsy and as she hasn't had a seizure for a couple of years they are withdrawing meds, dsis is in a bit of a state over it all. The seizures she has are severe and life threatening so it's going to be stressful but the meds don't have nice side effects and the ones she is on now can't be taken through puberty and she's 8 this year so they have to change them anyway.

Dh huffing and puffing he's ill and annoying me, he's taken himself off to bed. Ds wittering away and I just want 5 mins peace. Good job I have peroni really. Sigh.

I’m envious of your pelvic floor Longest. I don’t trust mine at the trampoline park, much as I love to doss around like a child.
I’ve sulked through two AF days too, but now I’ve about sobered up from the weekend I’m teetering.
I’m meeting my friend/colleague in the pub shortly so it will be a challenge. I was going to drive but as I’ve barely moved my arse all day I’m fancying the walk.
I think we can see where this is heading...

Frouby glad DHs wankerbastardry is out of character. My ex used to have his moments of thinking he was the boss. Then moan that he was always on the outside of me and my boys. He wouldn’t join in with family stuff.
Are all men hard work?
Flossie how are you now my love. You don’t have to answer the above question!
Right, this brew isn’t cutting it. Pub time.
Laters Tryers 😘

Good to hear from you Dion, though sorry you are pissed off. My family have been getting on my nerves too, but feeling better after our bouncing. Well done on the moderate weekend.

Saw a poster about "back to netball" in the park. Depending on when they meet I might give it a go as part of fitness drive. I tried it once before though and it was full of Aussies who were amazing at it- I couldn't keep up.

Oops, cross posted with you Frouby.

Get DS to bed and crack on in peace I say.

And Dion - urgh!! The 4am milk users drive me mad too.
My bugbear today is I walked into the kitchen to find the laundry basket on its side and clothes spilling onto the floor.
And ‘I didn’t knock it over. It must have been the cat.’
Right. I’ll just ask the cat to pick it up again then shall I? While you’re at it Toby, can you stick a wash on?

NC4, your laundry basket and mine are twins.

I just asked DD to bring in the recycling bins "when you have a moment" (she was lying on her bed with her phone, as she has been for most of the day). You'd have thought I'd asked her to walk to Australia and back. She did, after endless huffing and puffing, manage to move them from outside to inside the front door. However, taking them through the house and into the garden was evidently far too tiring for someone with such a hard life. Hope you have a good time at the pub.

Longest, I'm glad you enjoyed the trampolining. I wouldn't dare. I feel your pain with DD1. Some friends bring out that side of them. It's still the case with my DD now. It's hideous.

Frouby, you need more than a Peroni after soft play.

I wouldn't be jealous of my pelvic floor. Is hit and miss at best but held up ok today. I don't generally mind kids here as long as they keep dds out of my hair! Trouble is that dd1 has two good friends on our street and dd2 has no one so she moons about bored or tries to join in and gets pushed around. Might be easier once she starts school and playdates start. Tbh dd1 can pretty rude and entitled without the influence of friends but today reminded me I haven't had to pull her up on it nearly as much since school finished.

Enjoy the pub NC4! My laundry basket is pretty empty (smug) but every piece of clothing we own is now in a pile on the kitchen table, as per usual (less smug).

I hope the meds withdrawal go ok for your DN Frouby. Can see why dsis would be worried.