Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

Well done flossie brilliant job, enjoy your evening.

Oh Flossie I’m so proud of you!!! Well done. Those two little wines are well earned. Good for you.
Longest even on holiday you astound me with how much you do! Sounds fun though.
Just work here. Day 2. I could do to be AF today even though I’m fancying a wine. I need to give DS2 a lift in a bit so I need to not take my purse.

Snap on kite flying today longest

Well done Flossie! I’m having two glasses of wine in preparation for gcse results tomorrow. I’m a teacher.

Well done Flossie, you survived and enjoyed it a little even? Sometimes it is good to step out of the comfort zone. I hope the consultation went well, any progress for DD? You deserve your mini wines.
Haggis you too as a teacher!

I'm letting the side down big time I have spent hardly any time with my DC (DD has a car now and has been working and next week on holiday with her mates before starting university) DS (12) in the activity centre, today they cycled to Mont St Michel and back, 70km in total. He was knackerd.
I've been working, not 100% but not enough to make me AF. So with DP drinking half a bottle each night. But have time to run 60 miles a week plus cycling and swimming too so that helps eliminate the toxins. Will try and be better in September when teaching starts again.

What do you teach, Haggis and Mme? Good luck for results day Haggis!

Leaving that looks amazingly empty! Is your kite in a massive tangle now like ours?

70k Mme? Wow!

NC4 the kids just won't do nothing. Left to my own devices I would lounge around reading a book on the beach like a normal person (though it was a bit chilly for that tbh) but they are feral if not kept active.

Yay Flossie!!!!! I knew you could do it. I know you don't always feel it inside, but you are so strong and brave, and just the very best mum to your DDs.

Longest, it's lovely to hear all about your DDs and what you do with them. It makes me a bit wistful as it's a bit like going back in time - but what I have to think now is that my DC probably have all this stuff stored up in some kind of memory bank, even if I don't get to do anything with them now because of work, post divorce. I've barely seen them for the past week, other than sudden requests for food or lifts. I'm partly grateful, given that I know I have to work - and I'm partly sad, as I remember what it was like when they were little and I was so intensively mummying them.

Anyhoo, Day 3 is a complete and utter monstrous fail, for no reason at all, other than that I bought a bottle of gin in case friends came round (they didn't).

Madame, even my DS (who's a bit fitness mad - runner and cyclist) was seriously impressed by 70k.

Love the photo, Leaving. I last flew (or failed to) a kite on an East Coast beach in about 1974.

Good luck with the onslaught tomorrow, Haggis. This is my year's break from results, so I might as well enjoy it. GCSE and A level for my DC next year..

70k?! That’s amazing! Run 60 miles? I’m jealous. I’ve right royally fucked up-had 3/4 a bottle of very delicious wine. Ah well.

I teach secondary science-I have 3 gcse groups tomorrow. I’m so nervous for them.

That was the east coast too dion, longest one kite broken by lives on another planet two minutes attention span son and a second afternoon season with Mr Serious son. The beach was a bit busier further up by we are dog sitting and no dogs allowed on that bit.
Good luck with results haggis

Morning all

That beach photo is amazing, love the east coast. It's our nearest seaside, the north yorks coast is amazing.

Flossie told you you could do it 🥰🥰🥰.

Dion all I do for dd is act as a taxi, this holiday in particular. Have realised she hasn't been out with me and ds once, apart from to ponies or watersports, and at watersports she goes off and does her own thing. They are both booked onto an all day fun day on Tuesday though, it's probably a bit young for dd but don't trust ds on his own all day so she can bond with him down there 😁.

Was so not dry last night. Huge glass of wine, followed by 4 cans of lager. Urgh. Feel shocking this morning. Wasn't technically my fault though. My yard owner (for ponies) is on holiday so I am in charge when she not there. There's me, and 2 more diy livery owners. 1 of them is lovely, he doesn't have a clue what he's doing but loves animals. The other is a woman who has been there for 6 years, doesn't check her pony when she should, low level neglect but we all keep an eye on pony and when she needs something, yard owner intervenes.

Anyhow, been a problem with her pony since Monday, fly infestation in both ears. She was told Monday, came for 5 mins on Tuesday then asked nice but not knowledgeable livery to check her yesterday. He phoned me at 5.30 to say there were maggots in ponys ears . Which is a medical emergency.

I phoned ponys owner, told her she needed vet asap and got a torrent of abuse 😯. Then another torrent of abuse by message. Fml.

Obviously I kicked off back, not been spoken to like that, then yard owner phoned me to ask wtf going on. Yard owner says she's dealt with her and just ignore her. But like I said to yard owner, there is no need for it, am not being spoken to like that. Am no precious little flower who gets all da sadz over someone mouthing off but won't be putting up with it. Am too old for that sort of carry on.

Will see what today brings, but if it carries on its another nail in the coffin for staying where I am. It's 20 minutes away these days, the yard is run down and there is very limited amounts of off road hacking. It's cheap as chips and my ponies are looked after well and are happy, and because it's a small yard ds is safe pottering around with us.

But am not being spoken to like that because I have told someone they need a bloody vet!

Will be dry tonight I think, kayaking later so its gone 8pm by the time we get home. Good job really, heads banging 😁.

Frouby, sorry you got an earful for giving the proper advice. I bet you would have done if you hadn't spotted it as well. Some people are just arses. But I wouldn't move yards because of it (though I know there are other reasons). Unreasonable woman should be the one to move really.

I love the North Yorks coast too - we used to go to Bridlington and Filey with my grandma. Mind you South Wales is also good. I like Tenby. It's unpretentious but not down-market. It is fun, and the beaches are gorgeous. The restaurant we were at yesterday had the sort of terrace with a view that would command top dollar in the med.

Bit drizzly today though. Dd1 wants to go body boarding anyway. I am trying to tempt her with blackberry picking and rock pooling instead but I suspect I will lose. Ah well, the sea is not so bad once you get in.

We get free entry to castles with civil service sports club and they normally love those - dd1 is a sucker for a trail. But the local castles are privately owned so not free and the nearest equivalent is a bishop's palace. The DC's faces when I suggested it! Dd2 just looked at me in horror and said "We are NOT going". I laughed.

Dion, I bet your kids' memory banks are chock full. How are the holidays going? It sounds like things with ds have been going ok?

frouby sounds like you got an ear full cause she knew she was in the wrong. longest is right, some people are just arses.
What is your DD’s beef with a bishop’s palace longest?

Dunno leaving. Philosophical objection to the concentration of power in the hands of the church? But then it is in ruins so who knows. The opposite maybe?

Yeah woman is nuts. Vet been, apparently no maggots but ears badly infected. Got a course of oral antibiotics and antibiotic ointment. Her vet is bloody useless though so who knows and I doubt she would admit to maggots anyway. But pony been poorly since monday, she was told monday and pony has stood for 3 full days without a vet or even been checked by the owner properly.

She's messaging me on fb, said what vet said and what treatment is, then a load of messages about how she's partially cleaned her field but has to go to work now and will do rest tomorrow if that's ok with me, but in a way that makes it clear she doesn't actually give a fuck if it's ok or not.

She has also sent the other nice livery a barrage of abuse as well cos he's sent them to me. Some people shouldn't be allowed out 😂😂😂. Yard owner won't tell her to go though, shes daft cos she's lost more customers because of this 1 girl but that's livery yards for you, always a village idiot there.

Am just ignoring the messages, she will know I have read them but not responding which will infuriate her, so will see what happens today. And presumably this ointment is a twice a day thing so will be interesting to see if she asks me or other livery to put it on for her tonight as she will be working until 10pm.

It'll be a no from me. She can go after work, there are lights on the yard and for me the pony needs to be kept in away from flies for a few days to let them heal. £5 whole British pounds says when I get there this afternoon pony is in field. Because she won't want to muck out and I don't think she even has any hay or straw for her. And anymore medical problems with that pony I be messaging yard owner to deal with. Not great when you on holiday but not my problem either.

Could do with staying where I am for now. If I move I either have to pay more, or pay less and do diy which is twice a day. Which I don't actually mind but it takes a big chunk of time away from work. So swings and roundabouts at the moment.

Need a bloody lottery win to buy a big house with land and have them at home. Sigh.

God what a nightmare. Good for you for not taking that shit. Also love the north east -I grew up there. Science results strong again thank goodness, and some really lovely individual results-was lovely to see students again. However, I drank 2/3 bottle of wine and feel like absolute death today!! Has put me off drinking so fingers crossed I can repeat my amazing length of dryness!!

Am through all the anniversaries of things that make me drink so hopping back on. Frouby poor pony. I have horses and have done so all my life. Never come across one with maggots in ears that is disgusting

Hi you bloody lovely lot 😊😊

Not had time to properly read back but will do this evening. Apart from frouby and the horse..omg that’s cruelty isn’t it. Poor pony. People like that don’t deserve to be in charge of animals. Why does she own one?? She sounds a nightmare all round tho!! Well done you for standing up for the horse and yourself.

Haggis - well done on results!! That’s fab!! I’d see that as a green light to celebrate with wine tonight..and you’re not..that’s major strength!!

So I’m finally home after a bloody hideous three days. The appointment went brilliantly. The rest of it was disastrous!! Family woes. Too outing to put here unfortunately. Left me crying all the way home as I drove!! Won’t be repeating it!! I’ve learnt that you can’t rely on anyone!! I’m now in need of a bit of emotional nurturing 🙄
Anyway..both dd’s were great. We tackled London and I’m so proud. We enjoyed our time there, even though it was brief.
But soooooo glad to be home. Am utterly exhausted. Slept about 8 hours in 3 days. Was in the car 7hrs Tuesday. And 6 hours today!!
Am ready for the bank holiday now!! Living in Cornwall, locals avoid going anywhere this time of year, but especially bank holiday. This is music to my ears. Having a Tesco delivery, and pottering about..walk to the pub, maybe a local trip on the river. Generally relaxing!! Bring it on!! Won’t be af til Tuesday..and don’t care 😂😂

Yeah stupid cow is an absolute knobber. One of the only reasons yard owner lets her stay is because the pony is better off with us keeping an eye on her, and forcing her to have vet than being on a big diy yard where no one knows what they are doing, run by a farmer who doesn't know horses and doesn't care as long as they get paid. The pony is very prone to lami, yard owner won't let her have too much grazing and tells her when to muzzle etc so although owner for me would be booted off, at least the pony is watched. Have never known anything like it either Rightwayup. And have 30 years experience under my belt. Had to google flystrike in horses, know sheep have it as we have pet sheep so they are jagged to prevent it. The flies weren't the usual flystrike flies, they were like bigger fruit flies but light brown. Never ever known anything like it, 5 ponies on the yard and she is the only 1 with them so it says a lot.

Really wish I could afford to have them at home with me but can't ever see that happening.

Been to kayaking so dry here. Usual chaos and bonkers kids all over. Ds loves it so much, it was really choppy and windy tonight and he kept up with the older, more experienced kids who do slalom competitions and the river trips and stuff. Coach wants me to take him on a river trip bank holiday Monday but am a bit reluctant as ds just doesn't listen and can see him being a pita. Will have a think about it.

Flossie it's lovely to get home after a trip, am sorry your family let you down, but you did fabulous. Your weekend sounds perfect. We are having curry tomorrow and having a bbq on Saturday. Not sure on sunday and monday yet. Will probably not be dry either 😂😂😂

Ffs. Fml to fucktown and then it can fuck some more!!

Was so excited to be home last night. Dh got home and I cooked delish meal for us both. He was distant. Tired. Etc etc.
He wasn’t interested in the shit is been through the last 3 days. The abandonment, the feelings of loss (I wish I could say here but can’t). I basically had hit rock bottom. But I had put that behind me and I spent last night listening to him. About his day, about work, about HIS tiredness. His life. His wishes for golf and a massage this weekend etc.
Anyway, straight after dinner he started laughing at me (basically dd had knocked an entire bottle of soda water over me in a restaurant in London and I’d had to rush to Zara and buy a new outfit!!). He was laughing saying it was bollocks and I would’ve had a new outfit anyway and I was lying about the water. His laughter turned into spite suddenly. Was wierd and cold. Dd stood up for me bless her and he carried on. She starts crying. I try thank her for trying but say it was grown ups being silly etc. I settle her into bed and go back into kitchen where he literally tears me to emotional shreds. I stand crying and that’s when he shouts ‘little miss hard done by is off again’.
Those words have torn me to pieces. Just writing them makes me cry. I’d seriously had the most intense 3 days. An emotional roller coaster. That I faced alone and didn’t drown him with my shit but still listened to his. And he said that to me!! He carried on and on.
I sat in the garden crying and he locked the door and went to bed. Had to knock on the door to get back in.
I can’t say how those little things have made me feel like a child again.

Why the fuck can’t he scoop me up when I need him to. Why can he only be nice to me when all the things in his life are going his way?!

I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so shit in my life. Sounds stupid but I feel so alone.

Flossie, that is heartbreaking. I don't know what to say. I am eternally making excuses for other people, but this is just shocking. And your poor DD. This is the very last thing you deserve.

Am flying by on my way to work, but will be back later. Maggot woman sounds vile, Frouby.

Meant to be dry last night as I was hungover, but went out and didn't get back until past midnight. However, I "only" shared one bottle of wine with a friend. So it could have been worse, I suppose.

More later.

Flossie he's attacking you because he feels guilty that he should have been there for you over the last few days, or at least there for your dd at the very minimum. So he's turned his guilt into something else, making it about you and causing an arguement to keep you in your place, make you feel you are silly and inconsequential.

I won't say ltb because it gets said so often on here and it's not as easy as just deciding to ltb. But I would seriously consider my future with him, it's not a healthy relationship, he isn't supportive or caring. He seems quite cruel and as though dds illness is solely your problem to solve.

Fuck that shit. You are worth so much more. You are amazing.

I agree with Frouby. Locking you out struck a particular chord because DM's unsuitable dp did this to her. She had to sleep in the car. She broke up with him for a while but has made excuses for him and is back together. Even there I know it's not as simple as ltb and she has no ties, never mind kids together, but I wish for so much better for you Flossie. The cruelty and spite in particular must have torn you apart.

Frouby would you consider running a business if some kind from a house with land? You sound so good at horses and growing things and cooking and so on. Someone I know from another group has started a business letting catered holiday yurts. I can see you making a success of something like that. Probably bloody hard work though. Mme Forest would know!

Dion I would defo be pleased with making 1/2 a bottle last all night. I have not been very moderate on holiday. Generally a half at lunch time and a bottle shared with do plus an extra pint or sherry in the evening. Need to get back on it when home. Has been a good holiday though. Just beach stuff and good food. Turns out apartment woman thought we were leaving tomorrow though whereas I am sure I booked till Monday so just trying to sort that.

Flossie that is a disgusting way for your husband to treat you. Absolutely appalling. And in front of your DD too.
I’d also be considering my future. He just sounds cruel.
When I was thinking about leaving my marriage I reflected a lot on the vows we had made to each other, and whether our marriage was true to them. Not so much all the ‘foresaking all others’ part, as there was no-one else involved, but the things about love and cherish, in sickness and in health etc. Basically, were we a team? Did he have my back? Your DH doesn’t seem to be on board with you. It’s a lonely and disappointing place to be.
As others have said, it’s not a simple LTB but it might be worth you getting some support.
What’s he being like today?

Longest I love your holiday updates. Sounds like you’re having a whale of a time.

Dion half a bottle is a win by this time in August. I’m a lost cause....

longest I would love to! Would love a livery yard on the trans pennine trail which we live next to. With spare stables and some kind of accommodation to let out to people with horses, then offer either guided tours or just give them ideas of where to ride to. Plus have a kitchen garden at home to feed us, chickens and just generally be like a modern, more sweary version of The Good Life.

Problem is the money to set up. And tbh if I had the money to buy that sort of business I would want to buy somewhere smaller and be a lady of leisure lol.

My mate where I keep the ponies frustrates me. She has the yard and the land to offer decent livery, shes a qualified riding instructor as well so could offer lessons. The yard has a sand school and about 12 acres plus 18 stables and a large barn and tack room, electric and water. So the facilities are there. She's just let it get so run down though it needs about 5k spending on it just to repair roofs, fencing, stuff like gates and stable doors. She could fill it with diy liveries at £30 per stable, so another 13 or so. Then charge a few quid here and there for additional services and be making £600-£700 a week easily.

She busts her guts working in care on not much more than nmw. Nothing wrong with that but it's such a bloody waste. And she isn't the easiest person to deal with, if she were I would have offered to invest with her and share the profits but I couldn't work with her.