Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

Don’t be sorry Longest. This is the place to splurge.

Has your DH ever had CBT? I’ve been on SSRIs for years and have had depression most of my adult life but can keep it under control mostly with a combination of meds and CBT strategies. I have a relapse prevention plan to recognise it rearing it’s head and heading it off. Sometimes I forget I have it till I miss a few days meds or let life get on top of me.

The physical stuff sounds hard too. It’s bound to take its toll. Do they know what it is?

I think poor health really affects the dynamic of a relationship and you need a lot of love and goodwill in the bank to see you through. It sounds like you guys have that, but it can’t be easy. I always really root for couples who have gone the distance.

As for me, yes - he’ll know I’ve swiped. 😂
I’m not that bothered. Last time I saw him I’d been stood up by an OLD guy, and we ended up in a nightclub. All very silly but a right laugh. So if he’s interested he can let me know and if not, I can laugh it off.

Rejoining.. Last 2 nights half a bottle each. Feels like such a love hate relationship. X

Thanks NC4. They don't really know. They were saying post viral IBS and ME, which are really diagnoses of last resort having tested for everything else. But then they found out he has pancreatic insufficiency, which means he doesn't produce digestive enzymes. So he has treatment for that, but they don't know the underlying cause as there usually is one. Hence the CT scan at Christmas time, and more bloods since then, but still no answers, and he seems to be declining again even with the enzymes which were previously helping. He's thin and grey skinned. It's a headfuck tbh.

I am not sure he has had CBT actually, though I know it was mentioned as something he could self refer for. Will ask him .

That all sounds really tough longest. Dh has had 2 periods of ill health and it's really tough, even for a short time. I think MH issues are even worse because it's something you can't quantify and has such an impact on people around the person who is ill.

It's wearing and tiring and leads to resentment and frustration. for you.

Going to be dry here! Which on a friday is unheard of, and it's only because I am mums cabs for the night.

Ds is going to have a meltdown when we get home from the schoolrun. Have been boiling onions, ginger and garlic up for a curry sauce base for tomorrow night. It bloody stinks to be fair and he hates it. Luckily we are straight back out again so he won't have to stand it too long, then it should have faded a bit by the time we get home.

Had 3 cans last night which I was happy enough with but really noticed the impact it had on my sleep. Woke up at 3am for about 45 mins then woke up again when dhs alarm went off then struggled to get back to sleep.

I think next week I may try to be dry Sunday to Friday. I need to be up early and on the ball so it will definetly help. But will be long days as well so will be thirsty come 5.30pm. .

It’s an eerily quiet Friday night......!!

I’ve had a g&t followed by one and a half pinots. But actually i could’ve got the whole lot in a full glass. So not too bad considering I’ve got more wine in the fridge! I need to put the kettle on to stop me drinking anymore wine!!

How are you all??

It is indeed! I had a bit of a grump at everyone earlier. Kids were giving me sensory overload and wouldn't go to bed, and DH arrives home and adds to it all. Have calmed down now but DH still moping around and mood is a bit catching.

Had dd2's forest school parents' evening at 9am 😉 which was a bit annoying. They keep going on about her snottiness and unclear speech but I have followed it up with the gp and a speech and language assessment who have both said not to worry so feel a bit hounded now. She was suggesting I change gp or pursue alternative medicine . Started a thread about adenoids in case it's that bit have not had many replies.

Not much else to report to be honest. Had nice coffee and chat with friend.

Longest, splurge away. That sounds so hard - but how lucky you and your DH are to have a solid relationship to weather this (I'm not trying to minimise the effect on you, here - just that you and he are lucky to have one another). As I have said before, it's not surprising we are all here, really. Thank you, too, for being so lovely about DP.

Wet again tonight.

Did you manage dry, Frouby? I also notice that even a bit of drinking has a terrible effect on my sleep.

Flossie, that sounds like a win (and better than me). I have also put the kettle on now. DD has suddenly decided she is ill. I was waiting for this to happen, as she has a Maths test brewing. Thank you for what you said about DP. That is very sweet of you.

NC4, I thought I'd die happy if I could shag DP even once (when we were just friends). But the truth is that I'm very soppy and would now die happy if he said he wanted to hold my hand for ever.

Morning all

Had 1 gin in the end Dion and that was only because dh had poured it when I finally got home from picking dd up. Little shit left me waiting outside for 25 fucking minutes. Was not happy and she got a bollocking about respect and taking the piss.

So it was 9.50 before I got home with a lukewarm curry I had ordered for 9.25 but was still 8 miles away at 9.25.

Busy today. Going to my cousins for curry/pizza night later. Got to finish making my curry, clean the house as there is a chance we will end up here later if ds starts struggling and get ready.

Hate fucking cleaning when everyone is at home. Dd can do the bathroom and dust the bedrooms but is the queen of procrastination. Ds walks around making gun noises with my hoover attachments and turning my dusters into hand grenades and dh feels uncomfortable enough to start hiding his shit in cupboards but not actually uncomfortable enough to actually help.

Ds will also have a fit when I start making the curry as he doesn't like the smell. Did the worst bit yesterday (boiled onions, ginger and garlic for an hour) but still got quite a bit to do.

So today will be soaking wet. Am looking forward to it though, my mum and auntie are coming and our old next door neighbour and his partner. Cousin is really excited about hosting her first curry night (I usually do them). Her wife is going out so it's very much her night to shine. 😂😂😂.

She has just had a very expensive dining table delivered, it's beautiful, solid oak in white and oak. With fabric covered dining chairs in a checked pattern. She looked a bit bewildered when I handed her an oilskin table cloth and told her to MAKE SURE THE FECKING CHAIR COVERS ARE ON. Explained guests plus curry plus alcohol was not a good combination with new furniture and she should take the relevant precautions. They don't have dcs (going through fertility treatment for years) and don't really entertain much so I don't think she understands the potential for accidents.

Shes also dragged a load of games out of the loft to play. I hope she isn't disappointed when everyone wants to eat and chat instead bless her. And drink .

Can I join? Want to knock wine on the head. I find drinking it every night as simple as biscuits with coffee, both habits I have to stop making normal.

Welcome ragmayo, you are in good company here.

Curry looking good for tonight, just having it's last simmer then it's all good to go. It's a chicken madras and a bit warm but very nice even if I do say so myself. Its one of those heats that creeps up on you too.

Just my tikka to pop on skewers, then am having a bath and getting ready. Definetly wont be dry, worked up a thirst in the kitchen today .

I had three pints after work last night. After two AF days in a row and four over the week I think that’s ok.
I’ve got a bottle of wine open but may take it to my friend’s later. I’ll have DS with me so we won’t be late (or lashed 🤣)
Frouby, I’m well jel of your curry.
Welcome Ragmayo. I’m also a Cookie Monster by day, wine fiend by night.
We’re all a work in progress here

Salivating over Frouby's curry. Have a fabulous evening Frouby.

Welcome ragmayo. Kids had me up and making cookies at 7am. Might have eaten a few already. Have also had two glasses of wine already after calling in at friend's for a brew.

Managed to sneak in an outdoor swim after the party dd2 was invited to turned out to be drop and run. I have truly entered the golden age.

We had a lovely night, was brilliant. Lots of lovely food, we played cards and talked bollocks and generally had a lovely evening.

Curry was a success they were fighting over the leftovers 😂😂😂. Dd felt ill late on though think she got that bug I had last week so we shot off and I forgot my cheesecake and left my glass of wine I had waited all night for 🙈. So just had Budweiser in the end which isn't so bad.

But staying in is definitely the new going out. Was lovely.

Yep, I’m with you there Frouby. I popped round to my friend’s for a couple of hours after tea with DS2, and our other friends came in for a bit. Home by 9.30 so had another hour or so sat with DS1.
Had about 1.5 bottles of wine but it was over about 5 hours, so didn’t feel more than a bit tipsy, which was good.
Back on the wagon now. I did quite well last week with 2x2 AF days. I’m going for a run of 3 now.

Having friends over/going round there is one thing I really miss about DH being ill. We still do it sometimes but he's often too knackered. Or they come and it's kind of awkward because he's clearly struggling with the noise etc, especially if they have to bring DC.

Hi everyone, welcome Ragmayo, I hope you manage to cut down on your wine consupmtion. This thread is friendly and non judgmental and most people aren't aiming to be teetotal, just drink more moderately.
Frouby your curry sounds and looks wonderful, can you post a recipe sometime?
Longest I'm sorry about your DH's health, that must be very difficult to deal with.
NC4 glad you had a good night at your friends.
Dion I hope your DD's Maths test illness is better!
Flossie how are you and your DD?
I have been reading daily but have a lot of teaching at the moment so not much time to post. And running is taking a lot longer because I have no energy, the medicine for the hyperthyroidism isn't working yet.This week I've drunk less than last week although still way over 10 units, only one small glass Monday and Saturday because we went to a restaurant last night and I drove, so only one glass of wine. DC were with their father this weekend, they see him every 3 months at the moment, so it was nice to have some grown up time with DP. He is still behaving himself, the ex does appear to be history now at long last.
Have a good Sunday, and good luck with Cheltenham this week Frouby and Dion

Glad the ex is behaving Angalaise but sorry you are feeling rubbish, it's so hard when you feel crappy.

The curry is from The Curry Secret book and uses a base curry which you then turn into a madras or jalfrezi or bhuna etc. Its done in 4 stages so a pita but worth it. Will try and photograph the recipe but its just a little paperback so not sure how well it will come out.

But if you like cooking curry I really would recommend the book. Its only a few quid. I have recommended it to a few people and they have all been really pleased with it.

The recipes are a faff, but worth doing and it freezes very well. And you could make a base sauce then use it to make different dishes. I would recommend doubling the amount of spices, and also doubling the simmering times to get a more intense flavour. It's taken me a few attempts to get it how I wanted it but the one I did yesterday was absolutely beautiful. The people that I cooked for are currently arguing on FB over who should have the leftovers 😂. Cousin put some in Tupperware that was leftover, friend wants half and cousin doesn't want to share.

We are fussy buggers about curry and I would rather not have one than have a rubbish one, but the recipes in the book are spot on.

Frouby, you're just going to have to invite us all for curry . I want to eat the one in the photo NOW. Glad you had a good time at your cousin's.

Anglaise, I'm really sorry to hear about the medication not working yet. I know how much running means to you. Hugs.

Welcome, ragmayo. As NC4 says, we are all works in progress.

A bit headachey as I was invited round to a friend's last night. She said she wasn't going to drink much, so we got through two bottles of wine.

Onwards and upwards.

dion you would have to be quick to get some, friend going to cousins later tonight to pick her share of leftovers up, cousin devastated by this but has been bribed to swap it for cheesecake 😂😂. They are bonkers.

Dry tonight, had too much last night. Didn't feel particularly hungover just tired after a rubbish nights sleep. Had McDonald's this afternoon, dirty but needed. Can't face cooking so will probably chuck some toast at people who say they are hungry later.

Have a feeling it will be an early night though, dh is hanging, dd isn't very well think she has that bug I had last week so have told her to stay in bed tomorrow. She looks shocking bless her. And I want to read my book.

Hopefully a dryish week. Going to be mega, mega busy .

I’ve just come on to tell you all about my tea. Epic pork, roasties, Yorkshire pud and veg then DS2 did pudding - warm chocolate brownies with Oreo ice cream - all home made by him.
It was incredible!!
God, I am so stuffed. Christmas level, but it was lovely having the three of us round the table.

Wow, good on ds2!

Lovely to read this, NC4. Fail here, despite good intentions - but so good to hear about others' success. x

Totally freaked out after dd2 managed to fall backwards down the stairs. She's fine - I just keep picturing her tumbling down. Have managed to avoid wine though.

Oh Lordy Longest, how scary. Is she ok? Are you?!

Thanks, yes she's all right. Cried a bit but it was just a bump. It was just the way she fell, it looked like she was going to break her neck, and I keep having "what if" palpitations. She's too old for stair gates but she suddenly said "I am going to say night night to Daddy and Anna" and then for some reason before I could stop her decided to go downstairs backwards, then fell. Hopefully she won't try that again.