New Year, New Start. Probably dries and lows as we Tryers to be Dryers try 2019.

[Frouby]

New thread for the New Year.

Support thread for those who want to moderate and reduce alcohol. Absolutely no judgement, just advice and support. Absolutely everyone is welcome whatever your goals or hopes for 2019.

Am no good at clicky linke but there are previous threads and we look forward to continuing to moderate and reduce in 2019.

Especially today. 14 coming for 3 courses at 3pm and I have a raging hangover to start the year. Fml.

Flossie - wishing you all the very best with getting your DD’s schooling sorted and obviously her health.

Zoflora - get well soon.

Lemon juice - we’ll done on day 22!! Lost track with your plans for after DJ - what’s your goal for Feb?

Dionysa - how did you get on last night?

I’ve completed my 3 day AF pledge for this week so got my star on the App - that’s 3 weeks in a row so I’m hoping that the Mon to Weds AF thing is becoming my new habit. I really ought to try and include Thursdays too - that’s my next goal.

DH was moaning this morning about AF wine saying it tastes shit and is nearly as expensive as the real deal and he’d prefer to drink tonic water or ribena. I have actually found one white AF which is ok and really helps me stay off the sauce so I told him to get his lazy arse to the shop and find his own AF alternative!

However, tonight I am looking forward to a couple of glasses of proper red after DD’s options evening. I have some seriously competitive mummies to contend with whose option choices will obviously be more worthy and academic than those my DD are interested in!

is interested in

I’ve got Year 8 parents evening tonight...: and a boy who’s refusing to go to school. He’s been off poorly for two days. I think he’s well enough, but this is how his ASD manifests. Health anxiety and school refusal.
I feel terrible but I’ve given up for today.
Just been reading up on strategies so I’ll try some of them when he gets up. I thought I’d nailed it telling him all day yesterday he was going today, and getting him to set his uniform out last night.
Clearly not 🤦‍♀️

Flossie thinking of you and DD today. Hope you manage to make some headway.

Canshop ignore the other parents. My oldest opted for the subjects with least writing because of his dyspraxia. Leaving school was the best thing to happen to him. Not at all what I expected for my child. I’m a swotty pants with a degree and post-grad, but I’m cool with it. He’s still got a great career ahead as a tradesman.

@NC4Now - your poor DS. Hope you find a way to help him.

I am not as worried about DD who is quite smart but my DS (yr 7) has dyspraxia and I worry a lot about how he going to cope as he goes through secondary. He struggles with writing and spelling and also maths. He can’t seem to retain information. He is a big worrier also and is always saying he’s dumb and he’s going to fail his GCSE’s. I try to build him up and give him support but it makes me so sad and I worry about his future. It’s heartening to hear that your oldest DS is doing well.

Good luck everyone. When I was blagging it at the kids' careers day last week (also y9s picking their options) I told them unless they wanted to do medicine then to pick whichever subjects they enjoyed most and felt they would do well in, concentrate on the core English and maths, and then try to develop their soft skills- which was mainly putting themselves out there and looking for opportunities that arise - like if they are in the football club see if they can persuade the team to try a new practice technique or if they're in the drama club offer to take on the job of making posters or whatever. No idea if that's good advice, and the school left me without much to go on, but it felt right at the time. My mum was a careers adviser but was really anti closing options down before you have to.

DH and I were discussing dry Jan. We basically feel we have learned as much as we are going to so might bring it to an early close - DH suggested Tuesday when his project launches. I said if we are jacking it in early we might as well have a glass on Friday. Not sure who won. Either way am a bit nervous. I think this transition will be the hardest. Am already thinking that if i am not doing dry Jan it'll be hard to resist a glass with mil when she is here on Monday, then DH wants to celebrate his project launches on Tuesday but I have rare work drinks on wed too - and if we drink at the weekend that'd barely moderating at all. I can see why people find it easier not to drink at all

NC4. I really sympathise. With DS and with you. My DD is much younger but is already difficult to externally motivate. It is exhausting just getting her to do the basics like get ready for school. I can just imagine how you feel when there's literally no way to persuade him. Are school supportive?

I think you all sound so strong by the way. It's easy to say those of us who have had lots of AF days are doing well but my life stresses are pretty mild in comparison to a lot of people on here and I still don't feel i am copying very well with life. Though I am feeling a bit better this week which I hope is down to the new hormone free coil. Will see though as it's always cyclical.

Can shop have you tried the natureo one? I drank it while pregnant and it's not bad, though imthis time I have stuck to the beers. Nanny state is the best. It's pricey but cheaper than the real deal and I drink less of it.

I wonder if it's any coincidence that so many of us are having problems of one sort or another with DC?

I feel horrendous this morning. Had half a bottle of wine and two large gins last night. Went to bed at midnight. Woke up at 4AM in the usual panic and with a hideous headache. Lay in bed until 8, feeling too awful to get up (DD at her dad's, fortunately). Now feeling angry with myself (for drinking last night), paranoid, like a failure, sick, headachey, tired. And so on. It is time I learned that drinking does me no favours at all. The really awful thing is that it's tempting to think 'oh sod it', because the idea of Day One all over again is horrible. But I will just have to pick myself up and try again.

Canshop my 16 year old is a real inspiration. High school was terrible for him, he had so many problems, which I won’t go into because it’ll fill you with dread, but his saving grace was being allowed to go to college one afternoon a week to do construction Level 1 NVQ.
With a lot of pushing and support from me, and a tutor to help with English, he came away with 7 GCSE passes and his NVQ.
When he went to college they bumped him up a year as he already had the groundwork in health and safety etc. He is a different kid.
I left exH at the same time he did his GCSEs, largely because he wasn’t nice to him, and he’s really stepped up, helping round the house, looking out for DS2 etc.
Leaving school and moving here has been the making of him. And in the trade he’s doing, he’ll be out earning me in a few years!
Hang in there with your DS.

Oh I should say, he was given a laptop which helped a lot with his writing. You’ll need to push the SENCO as they don’t have much of a clue about dyspraxia ime.
He was assessed by the Ed psych at the start of Y11 as he was at risk of exclusion and the results were quite eye opening.
Too little too late, sadly.

Longest - yes it’s the Nateuro white that I’ve narrowed it down to. It’s nit too sweet like the others

Checking in to stay dry. Was really tempted earlier, but had to go and get dd so just got back. Gonna get my pjs on, crack open an AF Budweiser (dilly dilly) and see how I feel after that. Think I will make it.

Thanks for the tips on the natureo wine. I will add that to the list. Been existing on nanny state and seedlip, plus the occasional Heineken 00.
Absolutely no weight loss whatsoever, but that’s because I’ve replaced one bad habit (daily drinking) with eating chocolate and all the kids sweets from Xmas that were put out of reach (maybe they will forget?)
Starting to regret talking up this AF idea, as committed to two months and the end of Feb feels a bloody long time ago.

The careers advice (was that longest?) is spot on. Do what you enjoy. I f-ing hated physics GCSE and never ended up being a vet after all!

Zoflora hope you’re better soon

You’re all bloody saints!! Absolutely amazing strength!!
I most definately won’t be dry...again!! Fml over and over!!

💪 Frouby. I am not tempted to drink tonight, as I still feel so awful after last night.

Agree with Tired about Longest's careers advice.

How are you feeling, Zoflora?

xx for Flossie.

Have survived. Just. Dd is being miss stroppy knickers, think shes due on. Had a big case of food disappointment. Offered her ready made macaroni cheese (normally a favourite), homemade veg soup (also a favourite), vegi burger and chips, quorn nuggets, vegi bolognaise, beans on toast, egg on toast, omellete. Said I would make it for her (shes 14) if she washed the pota afterwards.

She didn't fancy any of that. Didn't know what she wanted. But would make her own as she is too tired after school and her d of e volunteering to wash pots. Can't be arsed to argue. Think shes due on.

She has also ran out of conditioner which is apparently my fault as I never go shopping anymore and that's why there is never any food in.

Offered her £100, told her to go to Tescos, do a big shop and get a taxi home. Because I haven't had time to shop because I have either been working or cleaning or taking her to the docs or sorting her pony out for blacksmith or walking her dog or washing her clothes.

Think she's due on, she's stomped off upstairs with a slab of chocolate cheesecake .

So am dry. But only because I daren't go in the kitchen for a beer because she was cooking. Cheers dd 😂😂

Aw poor stroppy DD - I know how she feels! Am waiting for dd1 to finish in bath then will get in and into my jammies. Have just made her an epic snack. Someone broke into the church hall so after school club merged with another one at a different school. It was TERRIBLE. Full of STRANGERS. There was NOTHING to do and the tea was TINY. She seems on good form generally though. Who robs a church hall anyway? There's nothing in it. Apparently they nicked all the Brownies' pens.

I love the news from the Frouby house.

I have come to the conclusion that a filthy hangover is the best way to be AF.

Longest, I hope they find the pen thief.

@Namechange4now - thanks, I’ve just had chance to read your message to me. We’ve got a tutor for English and Maths. I’m waiting for our first parents’ evening so I can find out how he’s doing. I’ve wondered about getting an Ed Pyshc involved but haven’t gone down that route. I’ve had no contact with SENCO yet at this school but he does have English/Literacy lessons with a specialist Dyslexia teacher and does ‘Reading Plus’ etc. I am so pleased that your DS has found his strengths and is doing well.

Longest - brilliant career advice!

Dionysa - it occurred to me the link between issues with our DC and our drinking habits.

Well, that Swampy’s a robbing bastard. Not AF tonight. After parents evening and both kids being “too ill” to leave the house, I thought I’d treat myself to a bottle of red and chug the lot.
Poured glass two, went to put the bottle down, misjudged it, smashed the glass and spilled a generous glass all over the worktop.
I feel like I’ve been ambushed by Swampy, the fucker.

Sorry Canshop I went off on one earlier! I’m a bit passionate 😂

I’m a bit of a paradox in that I find it way easier to parent solo. We’ve found our groove, mostly. I just hope I can get DS2 into school tomorrow 🙏

Can't quite believe it but I have done four weeks today - 28 whole days! I am sipping a sleepy herbal tea and wondering if I will have a drink at the end of the month. I am going to carry on til end of January anyway. Today is my daughters birthday and we took her out for dinner. It was so nice to just get in the car and not have to worry about getting there and back, particularly as it so cold.
I just hope I can keep my resolve as I don't want to go back to how I was.

😅 NC4Now - maybe you’ll thank Swampy in the morning. I hope your DS2 goes in ok tomorrow.

Mollysmummy, you are a Dry January rock star!! That’s amazing!