New Year, New Start. Probably dries and lows as we Tryers to be Dryers try 2019.

[Frouby]

New thread for the New Year.

Support thread for those who want to moderate and reduce alcohol. Absolutely no judgement, just advice and support. Absolutely everyone is welcome whatever your goals or hopes for 2019.

Am no good at clicky linke but there are previous threads and we look forward to continuing to moderate and reduce in 2019.

Especially today. 14 coming for 3 courses at 3pm and I have a raging hangover to start the year. Fml.

It's great to hear the positive stories. And thanks for all the welcomes.

Dionysa tons of experience with CAMHS here for dd, good and bad. She started with them when she was about 10 for OCD but has been on and off since then. She got an ASD diagnosis last year although a part of me just can't see it in her still but it does explain quite a lot. Happy to talk to you about it if it might help.

Another CAMHS veteran here. Good luck.
Welcome Littledog. You’ll be ok here.
I slept like a baby in my weed infused bed. 10 hours straight through!! Amazing.
I feel ready to tackle day 3 now.

Dropping in again. I'm sorry I miss most of the progress in this thread I'm just really finding keeping active and busy is doing the trick. I don't weight myself as I have issues with weight and eating and i can become quite obsessive but I'm definitely smaller than I was 3 weeks ago when I decided to go AF and just generally get my finger out! I can't remember the last time I was sleeping after 10pm but I feel great for it and I am genuinely tired from all my exercising. I'm now 18 days AF which apart from pregnancies is the longest time I've ever been AF even when I was a teen and I only drank on a Sat night! We all just need to take it one day at a time and celebrate any reduction in our alcohol intake. Wether that's 2 be a day down to 1 or 2 days with nothing. Its different for everyone.

Anglaise - you’ve reminded me that my fridge is definitely due a clean. There’s likely to be all sorts of horrors in varying stages of decay in the fruit and veg drawers!

Frouby, your poor DSis and nephew - that sounds truly horrific.

I hope your DS uses the sink in the downstairs loo, not the loo water 🤢 That’s one way of putting you off your g&t!

Hope the smear was ok - did the nurse talk about the weather or your next holiday whilst she was down there?

Ffs why the hell did u spout on about moderating in my last post!! Fml a billion trillion times over right now!!
Dd has an ambulance called to school this morning because she couldn’t breath. School have now decided it’s unsafe for her to be schooled so she is now at home until further notice. Ffs ffs ffs ffs. That was my only respite!! Just feel so devastated. Sad for me and sad for her not being socialised like she loves to be. How the hell am I going to get through this without chugging Pinot!!

Why the hell did I spout on. Not why U spouted on. Fuck..why don’t I read them back!! Sorry guys..how to sound rude in one hit!!

Oh no Flossie, so sorry for you and your DD. What a tough time. I’m sorry I don’t have any practical advice/experience/knowledge - bugger all really to offer except a hug.

Oh god Flossie. How awful. Will you have to home school or is there a medical unit she can go to?
I may have missed it in among everything but do they know why she stops breathing?
Sending you a virtual hand hold and a squirt of pillow spray. You sound like you need it.

flossie oh no, not again...didn't the school do this before? I'm so sorry 🙁sending lots of virtual câlins your way to you and DD

Can they just do that Flossie?

I’m going to be AF for a few days as I’m in hospital with suspected biliary colic or cholecystitis. Have spent the last 12 hours sat on a chair with a drip up. Now I have a bed!!

Ah Flossie that's shit for both of you. Dsis been similar for about 4 years though for so different reasons. It's so tying and so isolating. I don't know the rules about education but she is entitled to one and if you say you don't feel able to home educate I don't know what your local education authority will have to do. Maybe provide a home tutor. Does she have a social group at school? Maybe ask if they can come to yours or a regular basis just so she doesn't feel so isolated. for you both.

Would she possibly be able to attend with a 1 to 1 or with you present? Just for the key subjects maybe? It will be hard but less isolating.

Smear went Ok as these things go. We discussed the weather as she played 'hunt the cervix', giggled about cold hands on my bum (my own hands) and generally had a good chat as you do. She was lovely though and we discussed alcohol. She says she likes a drink every night but has only been drinking Saturdays during january as she thinks shes drinking too much. Told her about AF becks, she said bugger that I like to feel pissed .

I feel it's important to know a little bit about anyone who has seen your fanny.

Determined to be AF tonight. Felt a bit rubbish all day. And might go for AF tomorrow as well. Got loads of work to do tomorrow so need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Oh Flossie. How heartbreaking for you both. When you have had a chance to reel please please don't give up. The LA have a legal duty to ensure she is educated unless you withdraw her and home school. So she may be able to attend a hospital school, if he provided with a tutor at home. This might ultimately mean you get more support, though like many similar things there could be a battle to enforce your rights, and even find out what they are. It's not a specific area I know anything about but I have experience in public law and am happy to help you try and navigate the system if it's unclear.

On that note, Anglaise, i am a government lawyer. New role is with in international negotiations. Actually sounds quite fun, and a step up from 24 hour regulation drafting which is what they told me it would be initially, but at the same time I have no directly relevant experience in that and am kind of terrified! Also am a bit sick of being shunted from one role to another and was hoping for a bit of stability but meh. On the plus side dsis works for the new department so we can have lunch!

Haha Frouby. I had a similar nice chat while nurse changed my coil. Is very disconcerting.

Oh Flossie I'm sorry about your dd..perhaps this can be the start of a new plan for her education.

Longestlurker, your job sounds interesting. Mine is low key in comparison.

Welcome to the new joiners.

I came on to say fu*k, dh bought home wine from work which was a gift. I seriously know I have an issue with it sitting in the fridge.

@Zofloramummy. Get well soon. Hope you don't feel too poorly

Oh God, Flossie.

All I can say, which is no use at all, is that nothing will seem like a good option for you at the moment. In due course, you will see a way through, but it will be awful now. I understand first-hand what you mean about school being respite for you (for very different reasons. But if it had been an 'apparently forever' thing, I'd have lost the plot completely). I am thinking of you.

Anglaise, CAMHS is the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. I am no stranger to them, having had many dealings with them about DS. Sigh. DD was a bit more forthcoming than I thought she might be, but is now not speaking to me. I found it quite hard, as I had to re-live my marriage to XH and had to go into some of his abusive behaviour. It was not fun, and I don't think I will be dry tonight. There has been half a bottle of wine in the fridge since Sunday, and I think this might be its moment.

Frouby, at least you have given us all a laugh with your Tales from the Fanjo.

Longest, the job sounds like a good one. How I wish I had qualified as something useful 25 years ago.

Really sorry you are unwell, Zoflora.

Dionysa. That sounds really tough. Well done for getting through it.

Dipping in..

Thanks guys, you are all truly wonderful. I don’t often express emotion outwardly irl. I don’t want to put my crap on someone else’s shoulders. But just want to say wow wow wow..what great friends you’ve all become. Thank you.

Longest - thanks so much. We’ve tried and tried to get her an educational health care plan. However county say she doesn’t warrant one as the school seem to be coping ok. However they are currently paying for a full time TA from their own budget to be able to keep dd at school. Without that she couldn’t go. Shot themselves in the foot really!! So the decision has been made to withdraw completely from education and go to the top with regards to praying for help!! Hopefully they will see she needs help and needs to be on school and finally give in!! Surely also..a child who stops breathing several times a week due to her throat swelling shut warrants help?! Ffs

Fml..I am just putting it out there..tonight won’t be dry!!

I can’t believe she doesn’t have an EHCP!!! Good grief. I can’t think of a clearer cut case. I’ve been told my boys don’t warrant them, despite getting DLA, but in your case it’s shocking.
Does she have a social worker? I have a friend who works with families with complex health needs to get the support in place they need.

Flossie. This page is very brief but quite clear - the LA has a duty to provide full time education unless part time is best for your DD's health. It's important you don't agree to the decision to withdraw your DD and remain willing to take her. If you withdraw her and decide to home school/go private, the LA's obligations end. Unfortunately this might mean you have to become a pain and pit yourselves against the LA, which I realise won't feel nice if you've had a good relationship with the school. I wouldn't appeal for help from the top dogs but rather ask how they plan to fulfill their obligation to educate your DD. Good luck and I will do my best to help.

www.gov.uk/illness-child-education

Oh God. Flossie, what a nightmare. It's bad enough having to cope with your DD's illness, without having to deal with bureaucracy as well. I so hope some of NC4's and Longest's suggestions can help you. and [hugs, despite MN rules], and [xx too].

@CottonSock there's a bottle of wine in my DH's car that my lovely pregnant friend brought Me on Saturday when she came round for lunch. I knew I'd never be able to resist it if it was in the house! I have bottle upon bottle of gin and all the mixers you can think of on the house that I don't even bother with but wine is a completely different story!

I’m so sorry flossie 🍸💐

Frouby, during my last smear the nurse said “I live in your village, which house is yours then? “ As I feel smears should be impersonal, clinical and practically anonymous I wanted to tell her to fuck off but managed not to

Cotton sock I would be v tempted if there was cold white in the fridge

Lurker ooh err, what a time to be a government lawyer in your area!

Zoflora, sorry you’re in hospital, I hope you’re better soon 💐

Dionysa, hope the appt went ok.

Thelittledog welcome

Today is day 22 AF so I’m pleased with that.

Longest - I can’t thank you enough. I appreciate that more than words can say. Thanks so so much.
Basically our school went from outstanding to poor within one ofsted gap!! The head then retired immediately!! We’ve got a temp one just started this month who is on secondment to help. She’s fabulous and is now doing all she can. I appreciate she has to protect her staff should anything happen. The poor TA has stated in a written statement that she is concerned that wine day she will have to give cpr on the classroom carpet due to failings in the system!! I listened to her say that before in a multi agency meeting back in June, yet nothing was done!!!!! She’s said it again yesterday to the new head..then today dd’s throat closed over and the head has acted. I don’t blame her at all. She’s protecting everyone until she can sort the situation and make it safe.
Thanks so much for your help.

NC4 - we have a social worker from the disability team. We are new to her so hope it might help x