New Year, New Start. Probably dries and lows as we Tryers to be Dryers try 2019.

[Frouby]

New thread for the New Year.

Support thread for those who want to moderate and reduce alcohol. Absolutely no judgement, just advice and support. Absolutely everyone is welcome whatever your goals or hopes for 2019.

Am no good at clicky linke but there are previous threads and we look forward to continuing to moderate and reduce in 2019.

Especially today. 14 coming for 3 courses at 3pm and I have a raging hangover to start the year. Fml.

Flossie I hope that the latest round of tests help them find better avenues of treatment for your daughter. Wine is certainly what’s needed at times such as these. At least it would be for me.

Longest - I am day 19 and feeling fed up, miserable and generally meh. What I have noticed is how much my DCs and OH take me for granted. Maybe with a few wines in me, I didn’t care or see it so much.

Dion - other than the (much hyped by the medical profession) internal benefits of giving my poor liver a break, nothing positive to report on AF living.

Raising you a glass of AF beer, tired! I think I've moved on from thinking wine is the answer to my existential despair to thinking there perhaps isn't one. Not sure this is progress. Hey ho.

Not dry here but ok with it.

I opened my naice bottle of prosecco. It's very naice and bubbly and very dry. Have had 3 glasses and left 1/3 of a bottle for swampy. I really want to drink it but will feel lousy tomorrow if I do.

flossie for you and dd, that must all be terrifying.

I couldn't be permanently AF. It's not the answer at all to existential despair (not written existential since OU philosophy course a million years ago 😂😂😂) but wine or gin or beer definitely makes it more bearable.

Maybe I should finish my philosophy degree (I was good at arguing with myself) and discover the answer for us all then we could all be happily (or unhappily, depending on what I find) be AF for evermore.

Don't think I could stand to go back though. My OU course leader was also my A level teacher. I saw him a few years after I had done my last module. At my newish boyfriends sisters house. Newish boyfriend had come to collect me (he was called Spencer and very serious about sex, and quite well endowed) and were perusing the demo models and debating between a rabbit and a more traditional model plus a cock ring. A level teacher had come to collect his wife who worked with new boyfriends sister. He'd grown a full beard since I had last seen him and as he was staring I asked what he thought (I just wanted him to stop staring) cock ring + dildo or rabbit?

He asked if my name was Frouby, then it clicked who it was. Fml over and over again. With a dildo wearing a cock ring.

😂😂😂 Frouby. And you tell it so well...

So much for Day Sodding One. Half a bottle (of wine, not gin) down.

Flossie.... I was on here to see if there had been any updates. Being AF is the very last thing for you to think about at the moment. How very shocking for you to see it so graphically. I so wish I could do or say something useful.

Thinking of you Flossie, that sounds fucking awful 💐

I was dry all week and wet Friday and Saturday. Didn't sleep and every week I wonder why I do it. Hopefully day 1 again, although I may have a small one later to see me through

@Frouby that prosecco sounds right up my street. What kind is it? I'll maybe treat myself to a bottle to take on my DSis hen. Then I can share it as well.
Day 15 AF! My lovely preggers friend was over for lunch yesterday and brought me a lovely bottle of wine for hosting. I gave it to DH to put in his car and take away to work with him. If it's not here I can't drink it. Bit extreme maybe but it worked! Currently sitting enjoying a lazy Sunday morning coffee feeling fresh as a daisy. Going to haul DD's out a little later for a fun walk with DDog. They'll not be impressed but they need some fresh air as does DDog. Going to do a nice roast chicken dinner for DH coming in from work as well. What are you all doing with your Sunday?

User I desperately need some fresh air! We are in London but I am eyeing the heath. Dd1 just arranged a playdate with the girl next door though. Am hoping it's there and long enough that I can drag dd2 out (we don't have a ddog). I have my piano lesson later. I laughed and smiled at dd2's dancing and then got a note from Dd1 saying "I get the attenshun of a mouse. From: Somewon who is not loved". Sigh .

How old is DD1 longest lurker? My DD1 is almost 8 and that sounds like something she'd do. They seem to be very melodramatic at that age!
We're central Scotland and in a little mining village so some decent walks around here. It's not the nicest days but I've promised we'll walk to a swing park which seems to have appealed to DD's. Just need to peel them off the screens now. I've got a chicken roasting in the oven for the next hour so I'll work on them slowly! DDog didn't get a walk yesterday (he's a small pug so missing 1 isn't a big deal) but he's desperate to get out today. Keeps looking at me with his big eyes as if to say "mum when are we going out to play?"

She's 7 as well user! God knows what her teen years will be like. Though dd2 (3) is driving me mad too insisting on playing board games and then objecting to any kind of rule at all. Just play something else then! I need to get out of the house, clearly.

myuser it is Freixenet prosecco. Someone bought it to my room when I was getting ready at my wedding, its very nice and light and dry but easy to drink.

Still got some left, am tempted to finish it this afternoon while I do roast beef. Supposed to be dry today but its so lovely I dont want to waste it.

Am hiding upstairs from dh. Or from me having a pop at dh. Trying to clean and tidy and the fucker is a 1 man wrecking crew. He's made breakfast. Beans and egg on toast. Jesus fuck, the mess. Am pissing off to Tescos shortly and it better be fucking tidy when I get home.

Then I have to pick dd up from my mums, she had a sleepover at my sisters last night, then do sunday dinner.

Dh has really annoyed me this weekend. He got pissed as a fart friday, dossed about all day yesterday, sprung an hours paperwork and invoices on me this morning and thinks he is getting comfy on the sofa again today.

He can do the ironing while I cook. I am working all week too, plus do all the school runs, see to all the animals, clean the bastarding house, cook all the fucking meals and generally run myself ragged.

You know what? Reading all that makes me glad I’m single. It’s just been me and DS1 this weekend, with the odd 17-year-old mate dropping by.
My aim as the mother of boys is to raise them to pull their weight, respect women, and not expect it all to be handed to them.
Little boast here, but yesterday DS was in his room and heard the hoover, came down: “What are you doing, doing all this by yourself? Come on, I’ll give you a hand.”
So he cleaned the bathroom while I did downstairs.
It paid off for him, cos I did nachos for tea and bought him a couple of beers to take to his friend’s house.
Now I’ve just got the 12 year old to train.

NC my mip was a lovely woman, but worled full time as a nurse, did all the cooking and cleaning and decorating and everything else. Had 2 dcs, a useless fecking husband and was generally like wonder woman.

Then she got ill and died and now fil is being looked after by a new woman, who also does everything for him. As well as junking his bungalow up with her hoarding.

DH does work hard and tips every penny up. Have worked part time since we have been together so I have always done everything. Then I had ds 5 years ago and he had to step up and it nearly broke us.

The problem we have atm is I work between 25 and 40 hours a week. But those hours are at home, and I work for myself so no one to answer to. So I think dh expects me to work less hours to accommodate cleaning and housework. Which I already do some weeks. But I have put my foot down about not working as many hours, therefore not earning as much just so I can pick up shit and clean up after everyone else.

And I refuse to stand and wash the pots after someone else has made a meal. Unless they want to implement a rule whereby whoever cooks doesn't wash up which suits me just fine.

Am back from tescos and he has started the ironing though, so he obviously knew I wasn't happy, and he has done the pots and cleaned the kitchen sides etc.

Dd can clean the bathroom when she gets home, ds (5) can tidy his room this afternoon and then tomorrow I will finish off.

It really bothers me when the house is a mess and I have a busy week coming up. Blacksmith to ponies tomorrow so thats until 12 wrote off, swimming after school with ds, docs after school tuesday with dd, Ive got my smear wed am but might cancel as I feel a bit pmty and am not mid cycle.

Just feel a bit overwhelmed with everything today.

I get it, I really do Frouby. Your work pattern is similar to mine, but my kids are a bit older and I only have a cat to look after. No horses!
I suspect my house is smaller too.
I lost my shit at the boys when I got in from a job on Friday, the house was a tip and they were both sat on their backsides surrounded by the mess they’d made.
It’s that feeling that you cano just sit in a nice clean house and read a book or whatever. There’s always bloody work to do.

I love my kids dearly, but those two days a fortnight when they go to their dad’s are absolutely necessary.

DS1 has been going less but he knows the deal is he pulls his weight while he’s here, and fair play to him, he does.

I’d also resent having to reduce my work when there were two of us. I have cut back a bit since I’ve been single, because the finances and logistics didn’t stack up, but that was my decision. Also I’m happier working for myself. I’m basically feral 😂

NC4 you should be proud of your boys! Could hug neighbours. They've had dd1 for hours, the rest of us had a nice squabble- free walk in the sunshine, went to the park, ate sushi, blew the cobwebs away a bit. Feel a million times better.

That sounds lovely longest. I’ve just been for a walk too. I wished I’d taken my purse, cos the pub looked very appealing, and a Sunday afternoon pint is one of life’s great pleasures, but I didn’t.

I hear you on the housework. I reduced my working hours starting jan from 4 to 3 days, now I'm wondering how much housework dh expects when I'm off with our 2 year old. The weekend burden has not reduced like I hoped it would. Got some big jobs done though like carpets professionally cleaned, moved girls rooms around. I hope things will get easier over time as youngest approaches 3. I've found the baby/ toddler years bloody hard. Driven me to drink in fact!

Good job I stayed sober today, have to take dd to out of hours gp later. I poured one g&t and that is going down sink now. We went to pub and bowling today, which would mostly mean drinking but I drove and didn't have any.

Ds is 5 now and tbh not much bother 90% of the time. Hes a twat when he feels like it but usually come the weekend he's happy to either play minecraft or play with his toys when we aren't doing anything.

But I found it very, very, very difficult when he was small. Dd was an angel child, I remember decorating the living room when she was 2 and she sat and watched peppa pig for the day. Ds would have been up 'helping'.

But now I just don't seem to get time to tackle the big jobs. Have done 2 cupboards and 2 drawer this weekend instead of all the kitchen. Ffs.

I am either too knackered or too busy.

Was hoping reducing the drink would give me more energy but although I feel better in a morning I am still knackered by teatime and counting down til bedtime.

I drank the last glass of prosecco while peeling veg. Thoroughly enjoyed it but didn't go onto lager or gin, just enjoyed the one glass. Which is progress I suppose. Usually AF on sunday, but am counting that afternoon glass as a continuation of saturday night, because normally I would have drank the full bottle.

Sunday dinner was lovely, really enjoyed it but feel really full and bloated now. Having a shower, getting my pjs on and watching call the midwife and vera.

I’m lucky because we only moved here in June. I bought the house from my friend who left it immaculate, so the really big jobs haven’t mounted up yet. I’m dreading them.

DS2 was an angel baby. I used to count my blessings daily as that was my first stint at solo parenting. I’ve since learned a lot of it was probably his ASD. He’d spend all day watching Thomas or playing with his trains. He’s not meltdown-y luckily. Just very stubborn and set in his ways!

I’m on my second glass of red. This is the danger zone. I need to stop now. I’ve got a great fire going and the two just seem to go hand in hand.

I think everyone has a stage of parenting they find hard. I found the toddler years ok. My only stress was TTC dd2. Bit i have found the school years have come with expectations as to discipline that in failing to deliver on and emotional neediness that I can't satisfy. It's hard.

I think late primary/early secondary school is my biggest challenge. The tween years. I’m ok with children, and fully fledged teenagers but that in between bit is tough.

For me teenagers have been the hardest, give me toddlers any day over teenage stuff which so far has included suicide threats, self harming, drug use, sexting and university drama.

Although my children do seem really happy right now so fingers crossed the worst is over!

Today is day 19 AF. Really wanted wine this afternoon as we had a roast and an open fire and it was sunny so we went for a walk this morning. But I didn’t! It’s all in the garage anyway and wouldn’t have been cold.

Longest I'd be sad if I didn't have a drink at all. I moderated strictly for 17 months but always had a bottle of wine spread over the weekend. That was enough. 4 nights AF and a very limited intake gave me the benefits of being AF without giving up completely.
Water well done on 19 days!
Flossie can the doctors do anything for your DD?
Dion so glad you had a good night with DP
Frouby your posts always make me laugh
DS (11) is fine now the playstation has been banned. He was always a nice bright boy but that really polluted his brain and school results. DD will leave home to go to university next year, she really hasn't been a horrible enough teenager for me to be glad she is leaving. But then I've never been a mother hen type mother and have lots of interests so hopefully it will be OK. I've brought both my kids up alone as their father lived in England when we were together (still does now we are apart) and everyone says they are nice kids so that's good. I did a 7.5km race with DD yesterday which was lovely to do, her longest ever race, my shortest and slowest but I was really proud of her.
DP has blocked his batshit ex and no contact since last Tuesday, he has promised that is it he won't have any further contact and her blackmail has failed (yeah right, until the next time).
Found one of my hens dead on Saturday morning, no idea why, so had to get another as otherwise the other hen would be lonely. The new one is very active and keeps escaping over the fence to see the cock next door even though I've cut her wing.
Apart from a bottle of wine Friday night which I regretted but had to have it out with DP over his behaviour, last week was 2.5 bottles of wine in total so less than the week before.
Good luck with everyone for a dryish week!

Everyone is doing so well.

Day One again here, having failed with all the other Day Ones this past week.

I think having a child with AS skews your view a bit. But DS is now pretty civilised. It's DD who's the teen from Hell. I think I find toddlers easiest and most fun.

Oh FML. Day one again. It’s wine. I just can’t have a glass or two apparently. I know this. Why do I keep thinking it will be different? FM hungover L.