Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

Oh, how I love this thread and all who sail on it.

I woke teenage DD up at 2 PM. I may have uttered some sarcastic comment about the day being over. She wished death on me. Then Mr Perfect Smuggypants DS asked if she had a psychological problem which meant she couldn't get up early in the way that he does.

Things then went even more wrong as a friend came round to show me her Christmas gin present. She felt the need to share, so tonight is a write-off. I am pinning all my hopes on 1st January.

Sorry, Flossie, but your most recent post made me laugh!

Longest, I will keep my fingers very firmly crossed for good news. x

PS Frouby, you have reminded me to look at school calendars. Whatever it is, it can't be soon enough.

My attempt to go AF yesterday resulted in me rolling in rat-arsed at 3am. My best friend is such a bad influence. I really was going to stay home.
I’ve spent most of the day between bed and the sofa. Tonight I’m off to visit other friends.
It’s getting ridiculous.

Longest....sending you oodles of love and strength for tomorrow. Xx

Teen DC are an alien world to me and I never know how to respond to you guys, though I hear you catch glimpses of loveliness and eventually they blossom? I am genuinely terrified of dd1 becoming a teenager. At 7 with potential ADHD she is alarmingly impulsive but it generally manifests as climbing into cupboards or pouring paint everywhere. At 15 who knows....

longest I hope all goes well tomorrow xxxx

Thanks everyone! After years of digestive and mental health issues/chronic fatigue they eventually diagnosed pancreatic insufficiency and he's been quite a lot better since taking digestive enzymes with every meal but they have never said what the underlying cause might be. I am kind of thinkin if it was anything that terrible he would know about it by now, and he's had endless blood tests that have come back clear, as well as a colonoscopy bit they've only recently honed in on the pancreas. Most likely is it was damaged by some kind of infection and is not an ongoing problem so i am reasonably confident bit obviously they wouldn't be doing the scan if there was no risk of finding something sinister so your thoughts are appreciated x

Sorry about my terrible typing!

Longest, I will be thinking of you both.

Teenage DC are a law unto themselves. One of mine has AS, which is an additional challenge. I thought toddlers were quite hard work, but they're not a patch on teenagers.

On the brighter side, I am back online so can moan at all you lovely lot!!

NC4, I think your friend is related to mine...

Since Christmas eve I have been pretty much sloshed. As I function quite well no-one even notices. Got to have a drier
January though . Please advise.

Froglet, I'm not sure we can advise (or I may be speaking for myself), but you will find huge amounts of support here. We all genuinely want to reduce.

Welcome Froglet. Snippets of advice I have gleaned include - have set AF (alcohol free) days each week to exclude the will/I won't I angst. Get in some treaty non alcoholic drinks. Try to shake up your routine to avoid your trigger points- eg a shower when you come in from work instead of opening the fridge. Early nights and baths to get you through difficult days. Post on here as it keeps you accountable. Play the film to the end - what will really happen if you open the bottle? Iam still looking for a good evening activity to stop AF nights feeling dreary but piano playing and books help a bit to make me feel more me. Once you're into the swing of moderating you'll see some benefits like better sleep and weight loss to motivate you. We have all relapsed a bit over Christmas so will be joining you with renewed vigour. There are some books and YouTube clips some people have recommended but I have not tried them.

So much good advice from Longest, here, Froglet. I have written off Christmas and NY, but will be trying harder from 1st Jan onwards.

Another one who’s written off Christmas and new year. My diet consists of gin, wine, cava and champagne. Seriously never drunk so much night after night.

Right....I can’t say this anywhere else and if I said it out loud in real life, I’d be stoned to death!! So....I had ivf for my two gorgeous girls. Was hell, reacted bad, nearly died!! Same year I got caught up in Asian tsunami and dh’s dad died. I found him having a stroke. (I was v close to him).
Anyway..since dd2 born, she’s been critically ill. Every day is tricky. Love her to bits but always wondering if today will be her last. A completely hideous way to live but one I have to!! I drink too much, far too much but it’s my one enjoyment, one thing that takes away the pain and fear.
Anyway, I have a ‘friend’. Everything goes right for her, she has no check on reality. She told me last week she’s pregnant. Today she went for gender scan and was so desperate for a girl...low and behold it’s a girl!! I know I shouldn’t be pissy but I am. All I want is my little girl to be safe and not poorly. For her to manage school and for me not to worry if I turn my back. For her not to have to carry life saving equipment on her back wherever she goes. For us not to have to do a 12hr round trip to see her consultant. I just want things to be ok. And then this ‘friend’ boasts that another fabulous things gone right.
I know I sound bitter and twisted. But I’m really not. I’m the most positive, not jealous person you would ever meet. I just feel bitter right now. I want health and well-being.
Fml!! Over and over!! As I down another frigging glass of fizzy stuff!!

Oh Flossie! It's not fair, it really isn't. The best people have the worst luck. I don't think you sound bitter at all, just human. I had three miscarriages before my dd2 and definitely had flashes of green eyed monster, even though I had my lovely, troublesome but oh so rewarding dd1. I really, really hope you get some better news about your dd2's health too. Are they still trying things? I have another friend whose son has unexplained breathing issues too. They've been in the Brompton all Christmas bless them.

Dd is under the Brompton too. We go mid jan for more tests. It’s 6hrs each way so we tend to stay overnight. Pics of dd’s physical changes have been sent around the works and no one has seen anything like it. It’s crap. If only someone somewhere knew what it was. Knowing what it is could be half Way to accepting what it is. It’s so unpredictable and sudden when it happens. Just no rhyme or reason. That’s the hardest thing.
What’s wrong with your friends dc?

World. Not works

They call it viral wheeze but he seems to be getting worse and worse and it's basicallyundiagnosed too. He apparently aspirates liquids - he has to have a powder to make all his drinks like jelly. He was reasonably ok all summer but every time he gets any kind of cold it turns into pneumonia etc He was in intensive care under sedation for a few days and hospital for 6 weeks. He came home for a few days then back in for Christmas. They are home again now - meant to be seeing them nye- but it's always touch and go and is just shit really.

Poor lil man. Sounds rough. My dd aspirated too. As done from birth. Down to crap diaphragm muscles. Found food in her lungs!! Just rubbish!! Hope your friends lil man is on the mend soon. Just so scary x

Had not as. Bloody cava effecting my
Typing skills!!

Oh Flossie. Nobody could ever, ever think you are anything other than lovely.

We deal with the DC we have. XH used to spout all this crap about how brilliant I was at dealing with DC1. No, I wasn't. But he was hopeless, which left me with no choice but to carry on. DC1 needed at least one parent.

I would dearly love to give you a RL hug, Flossie. xx

Yes I was just thinking that you'd not be so far from me when you are there, though I imagine it wouldn't be practical to meet. One day!

Ah Flossie you aren't crap or jealous at all. It's a bit woo but shit things happen to those who can deal with it. The nicest, sweetest, kindest most genuine person I know is my dsis. She is amazing.

Her first dp she was with from being 17 was an absolute cunt to her. Horrendous stuff, like you read on some of the threads on here. She finally left him with her 3 boys and he turned up and held her for 2 hours at knife point.

He got a 12 month suspended sentence and fucking anger management lessons.

Her dd has epilepsy. Its controlled at present with meds but she ended up on life support 3 times after the recovery drugs she was given put her into respiratory arrest.

They finally get the epilepsy under control then dsis gets a diagnosis of thyroid cancer.

She just keeps getting all this shit thrown at her but keeps on being the same person. I would be soooo bitter and twisted and neurotic.

Meanwhile other people just sail through life, when the worst thing that happens to them is they lose a pet, or an elderly parent dies. Am not saying losing a parent isn't fucking hard but its the natural order of things isn't it?

Anyway. We are nearly on 900 posts. We need a new thread title for our shiny new 2019 thread that will see us all daintly supping a small glass of wine on a friday night while we relax in clothes slightly too big because we have lost weight in our immaculate homes whilst our children peck our cheeks and wish us goodnight after tidying the kitchen and not arguing about it and our bank balance goes up cos we all aren't hammered every single night.

So new title suggestions please and I will get it done as soon as we hit 950 posts or so.

I totally understand Flossie. I’m just back from visiting friends. They have three NT kids and a stable marriage. It was lovely to see them and I wish them no bad feelings at all, but it reminded me of what I’ll never have.
Have you read that poem about Holland?