Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

audacity, that’s my aim, too. Failing ATM, though. But glad you are doing better...

Thanks so much for the birthday love! I know I’ve only been here a few weeks but I feel like I’m among friends.
I actually feel like I made some peace with exH among all the madness the other day. I can’t see us ever being together again, it just doesn’t work, but making peace is good.
Obviously not AF tonight.
Anglaise I can definitely relate to feeling insecure in relationships and a bit all over the place socially. That’s why I drink, I think.
A friend of mine (male) went totally teetotal a few years ago, when he woke up in the park with a broken jaw. He still doesn’t know what happened.
He said he had to learn how to socialise again and how to deal with situations where he used to lubricate with booze. I’m a bit in awe of him, actually.

NC4 I'm glad you are feeling better and have made peace with exOH. It isn't easy to get over someone you love(d) and it takes time. You are strong and will get over him.
Funnily enough I'm never anxious, either socially or otherwise, I just drank wine because I liked it and the way it made me feel. But once you hit 50 and the menopause the physical affects of drinking well over the govt recommended limit are 50 times worse than when you are younger so it just isn't worth it.
Dion didn't make the hypno session (50€ here in France so cheaper) unfortunately serious issues with DS (age 11)at school, he started high school this year and his grades are well below what they should be because he is lazy not because he isn't capable. He can't concentrate on anything at school although strangely doesn't have the same issue with the Playstation. So that has been banned. If he doesn't improve he will have to redouble the year. DD just sailed through school I never had to check anything so I'm responsible in a way because I haven't been strict enough with him. And he is a very good liar.
He rarely sees his dad because he lives in the UK so I do all the bringing up (have done since he was a baby) and I really feel like I've failed big time so far. Hopefully it isn't too late.

It won’t be too late Anglaise. It’s just time for some tough love. No PS till all homework is done and checked seems like a fair rule. DS1 really struggled to concentrate at school (dyspraxia) and getting him through was a daily battle, so you have my sympathy there.

I overdid it on the Prosecco last night. I’d had a lovely evening too, and a couple of glasses of wine with my tea. There was no need to open the bottle, let alone drink it all. Birthday or not, it was just greedy. And now the waves of depression and remorse are washing over me....

I was af last night (hungover), and noticed the peeing thing! Like shedding all the weeks booze related water retention in one night!

Well done on your first few days audacity. Similar happened to me in the summer, although was sick in public place!! It was my wake up moment. I'd joined the thread before that but was doing very badly!

Hmmmm, well it was going well, then I drank a 2 bottles of wine on Friday, went out and the rest gets very ugly- anyway back in the wagon, day 5 and feeling different. I don't want to drink anymore, and I really mean it. Normally some part of me still wants alcohol, but not anymore. And I'm running and have lots of support including my mum helping with childcare. I'm also trying to be more sociable with friends, instead of hiding away in shame. I'm hoping I've turned a corner 😁

Belated happy birthday NC4! Glad you have found some peace with XH.

And glad you feel you've turned a corner Recovery. That's massive!

Sympathies to all with DC issues. I am a bit worried about dd1 (7). She's always been anti authority but very sociable but recently I've noticed she's been left out of lots of parties of kids I know she considers to be her close friends. She's been really good about it to be fair, but that makes my heart hurt even more. I took her plus two friends to their swimming lesson and it was squabble central with the other two siding against dd1 and I started worrying that she's alienating people. But I invited a different girl to play yesterday who is fairly new to school and it went really well and they both want to do it again soon so feeling better. Dd2 is easy in comparison and is only 3 but already has the same issue of one sided friendships too. Sometimes think it's tough being a kid. By the time you're an adult people are generally too polite to tell you they aren't that into you even as friends.

Have been reasonably moderate this week. Was AF Sun and Mon. Yesterday I had a plastic cup of wine at woodcraft folk but left it there. Out tonight with DH but won't get there till 9 so hopefully is self limiting and am normally ok at being AF on Thursdays as DH is out.

Morning everyone.

Very not dry here, in holiday mode already.

We go in a few hours, yay! Am so ready for a break, especially after the chaos of December. I still have a few bits to pack, need to defluff myself, some banking to do and a quick tidy round. No doubt I will be screeching at DH shortly as he leaves everything to me. Nobber that he is.

Children are hardwork. Angalise lots can struggle at 11. I think it's a mix of high school being very different and hormones kicking in. And friendship issues are even more difficult to negotiate. I used to worry about dd, she had 2 close friends but no real best, best friend and struggled with bigger friendship groups. But she is fine now at 14. They have to find their own way sometimes.

I won't be dry now for at least a week, sunshine is very thirsy making. But will hopefully moderate. Hopefully.

Hi everyone

Just trying to catch up but I seem to have missed so much!!
Life has been fast. Moved house a fortnight ago. Dd2 continues to be poorly. I let her go to school for couple of hours yesterday so she could go to her Christmas party, but ended up getting a call before it had finished..she was wiped out and looked hideous. So home again. We tried!!
Dd1 went over on her ankle yesterday at school and needed an X-ray but all is ok.
Thank god my parents are staying with me currently. I wouldn’t physically have been able to be in two places at once!! They’re here til tomorrow. It’s been lovely having them but means I’ve been starting on the gin at 6pm!! I normally only have wine, and wait til 8pm when I sit down to dinner!!

For all those of you with dc issues..I completely relate. Dd1 has awful friendship issues in primary. I was so worried about her going to secondary school. But she somehow flourished with friends then.
Ds was great at primary. Grade A for everything..went to secondary and was a complete knob. Got himself into major trouble, had police knocking on our door, was suspended from school!! Is now at uni and seems to be finally becoming sensible!! I hope!! Probably isn’t, just that I can’t see it, and he can get away with it!!

Frouby..have fab holiday lovely. My dad used to be a dick when it came to packing. So once, my mum told him to pack his own stuff. He thought she was joking. Til they got to their destination and he asked where his clothes were!!!!!!! They were back home still in his wardrobe!! He now packs everytime!! Have fun!!

Af last night. First in so so long

I didn't finish the bottle. First time in I don't know how long.
Have a great holiday frouby

Well done Wrongwayup and CottonSock.
I had a couple of beers last night, but rightly or wrongly, don't consider that to be an issue. Its the wine I need to address (unless I start drinking loads of ale as a substitute!)

Been very wet this week and tonight, despite having acid reflux and chewing gaviscon like crazy, I’m going to be soaking tonight!! Had such a pissing awful day!!

Hope everyone’s having a good weekend x

Are you ok Flossie?
If by good, you mean soggy, then yes....

Sorry your Friday was rubbish Flossie. I hope the following days were better. Weekend was ok thanks. Pre Christmas drinks have begun but I drove because the weather was so horrendous. So feel a bit like I've been cooped up but could be worse.

Tumbleweed on here this week....

I'm in the US and need to stop drinking. Tried AA but didn't help.

Sorry. Am in the absolute depths of unhappiness. Can’t describe it. No AF nights. DP. DC. XH. My parents. Christmas. No laptop, so reliant on the DC and their phones for internet. Everything is just shit, shit, shit.

Dion, I am sorry. Are you looking forward to Christmas, or is it just another hassle you don't need? I need to shift my arse and get ready.

I had delivery of the Christmas booze, so am wet every night and also in the gaviscon.

Dion..hey lovely. We all here for you. Sending you massive hugs and love. Xx

I find Christmas actually is a totally shit time for me mentally. The pressure for everything to be ok is almost too huge to cope with. All I want is for my family to be sat round the table safe, happy and healthy. I worry that dd will be poorly that day. I worry I will be poorly that day and won’t manage to keep things running smoothly. I’m so glad when we get to Boxing Day. The relief is soooo big!! I even find Christmas music hard to listen to. My dd has been so ill this year, that all the hype seems futile to me. God don’t I sound shit!! I promise I’m a positive happy person..it’s just Christmas that does my head in!!

We moved 3 weeks ago and I’ve drink seriously every day since. Not one dry night. And no moderation!!
Fml

Big hugs all round. I am dealing with Christmas by ignoring it as far as possible. I've found this surprisingly effective so far. Normally I spend my nights fretting. I am looking forward to it being over though.

Is very hard to moderate atm. I don't feel too bad about the Christmas party but slightly ashamed of polishing off quite a lot last night for no reason at all.

Didn't get a job I wanted but feel reasonably ok about that. DH has to have a CT scan "to rule out cancer". Not sure what to feel about that. He seems pretty calm so I am trying to be too.

Longest - so sorry to hear about both the job and dh. Such a worry re your dh. When is this planned for? Hope you don’t have too long to wait and can have your minds put at rest soon x

I don't actually know Flossie. I think that they have a target of two weeks for suspected cancer tests but last time he had one (a colonoscopy a few years ago now) it was over Christmas too and we missed the target. We are supposed to be away 2-6 Jan. Part of me feels like this shit has been going on for years so can't be cancer. The other half of me feels like we are heading towards sone kind of crisis. He was diagnosed with low pancreatic function in the summer but they never really investigated the underlying cause at that point, though he's had endless blood tests over the years that all came back clear.

Longest so sorry to hear about your DH, I hope the scan is negative for cancer.
Flossie for your and DD
Nothing is more important than good health and even though I'm not really looking forward to Christmas at least my DC and I have that. I have two close running girlfriends who have been ill this year and are unlikely to run again and even though I'm fed up at running at 7am in the dark every morning at least I can do sport!
Not very AF but certainly not soaking wet. Christmas will be quiet and relatively sober, just me the kids, DP and possibly his son so no pressure to eat and drink lots which I hate doing.
Was hoping to go to the UK during the school holidays to see friends and family but too much work here with my gites. I hope my DC won't be too disappointed, but they are used to having a quiet Christmas after 16 years in France. It only lasts one day here so that's and advantage, normal life resumes the 26th December.