Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

Welcome Vasilisa. Day 2 is fab, havent had a day 2 for aaagggeeees. Let alone a few weeks!

Anglaise I always feel like that when I have had too much. I drink nearly every day, but rarely get drunk. Usually 2 drinks, no maximum but rarely more than 4. And after 4 I don't sleep and get horrible beer fear.

Dion we have all been there. Some men are like class A drugs, really fucking bad for you, give you a horrible come down and make you hate yourself but are addictive as you feel so good when it's right. Be kind to yourself but also look at some tough love for yourself as well. It might take a while but eventually you will look back and think wtf did I do that for?

Not dry tonight but have had a lovely but busy day. Worked from 5am to 7.30am, did school run and went to ponies for blacksmith coming. Had a good gossip with yard owner who I moan a lot about as she is a pita. But it was nice to see her for the first time in weeks. Then had an hour on the allotment pottering and doing thechickens and cleaning them out. Home for 12, then a few more hours work, picked ds up and finished my work off. Was productive work too financially.

Made dcs tea and had a bath followed by a gin then a glass of wine. Have had my tea now (jacket spud with cheese and coleslaw followed by an aldi almond mincr pie which are lush) and am off to bed shortly!.

Am knackered. But it was nice to have a few hours at stables and not be able to dash off as blacksmith was running late. Have a quieter day workwise tomorrow so no silly oclock start.

Thread has been busy. Dion I hope you feel a bit better today. I'm sorry you feel alone at the moment.

Longestlurker, I'm going to read that article now. I've also been prone to depression, and postnatally after both my kids. 4 misscarriages and a horrible time conceiving. I'm glad it's all over and my youngest is approaching 2.5. I do wonder if my drinking was a rebound thing after the kids. It was a tough few years.

I was dry yesterday which is impressive for me on a Sunday.
I almost bought a gin selection pack today for my sister for Xmas. But I knew I would drink it and put it back.. I'm learning. It will need to be purchased much nearer Christmas to stay intact.

Welcome and wave to any new you new joiners.

Frouby what's for dinner?
Crikey you must be very tolerant. I think he would be getting a ready meal if I felt generous after the demands for a sultans feast@

evening - sorry to read heartache and dinner woes from the weekend. Hugs/playful arm punches all round depending on your dispositions...

Welcome Vasilia - congratulations on day 2! Frouby - that sounds like a lovely full and busy (in a good way) day. Longest - enjoy the theatre! Anglaise - sorry you had a blip... hope the argument has been resolved? NC4 - PJ's on yet?

back to the AF weekdays here although I'm considering extending into the weekend and even giving some consideration to AF through to Christmas. I find the Mon- Thurs relatively easy but then get annoyed with myself at the weekends so am considering the extension... We shall see...

Yep, PJs went on before Corrie. As a strategy it’s not a bad one actually. There have been a couple of moments this evening where I’d have been across to the shop for wine if I was dressed.

Day 2 here. I snapped at DS at bedtime. Feel bad at being annoyed, it’s not his fault, but I’ve only got so much patience.

I might bolster my efforts by treating myself to some new PJs.

Good night everyone and welcome Vasilisa. Theatre was good - we saw Hamilton which I booked months ago and have been looking forward to. I had an interval glass of wine but heading to bed now, having booked a cottage for a few days with dsis. Hurrah. Am out for drinks with friends tomorrow and with school parents on wed so those will be tests of my moderating skills but am pleased to be going out. Hope you're ok Dion. Anglaise don't beat yourself up and we'll done on the race!

Morning all

Up early for work but got it completed quicker than I thought which is a bonus. It feels very luxurious to sit and watch the news with a coffee in peace and quiet!

DH has had a hard time adjusting to me working again it has to be said. He is used to me putting a lot of time and effort into cooking but atm I am just too busy to fannyarse around making homemade guacamole and doing a 'simple' chopped salad to accompany a bloody chilli. It's chinese curry tonight so he will be pleased and its pretty simple to make.

Am just going to keep moderating from now until January. We are away in Tenerife the week before Christmas, then DH is off for 2 weeks along with the dcs so will definetly be needing a drink or two to keep me sane. I do actually love the Christmas break though. Normally when DH is off work he is stressing about work but because everything is closed over Christmas he does actually relax a bit. I was going to do a few days between Christmas and New Year but we shall see.

Have a quieter day today. I need to make a start on dds Christmas shopping but I think most of it needs ordering online so that will be easy. Ds is easy, there's a Smyths toys just up the road but might wait and see what he gets for his birthday first. I need to buy for a friend and also my lovely cousin and her wife but that's me done. Oh and DH but he will chose what he wants and then I will do the usual socks and smellies, think we are going to buy each other perfume/aftershave from the airport.

So am pretty organised really. Need a week of freezer surprise to make room for Christmas food tho, DH will definetly be moaning next week 😂😂😂

That sounds like a good start to the day Frouby. I wish I could be a morning person. I went back to bed when the boys had left this morning 😳

Day 3 AF for me today. Can it be done? I like to think so. I’ve made a chicken and leek pie for tea which is going to be lush!

Mmm pie. I am in the pub by the fire with a pint of cider waiting for my friends. It does feel good, I'll admit. Will try not to go mad.

Day 2 AF for me, full of cold so I think that's helping! Trying to make it to Christmas without a drink. Bought 2 new books to read about getting sober so will let you know if they are any help! Hope everyone has had a good (AF) day 😁

day 2 AF for me as well. It is DH's birthday and he's had birthday present gin but I was good and tried the seedlip - which was better than I was anticipating!

I quite like the pea seed lip. I’ve almost cracked it!! I e had FOUR af free days in last week and had within gov guidelines!! First time since I was pg I think. A few things have helped. My alcohol counsellor advised designating same days af each week, and acknowledging that it is hard but that it will get easier. I’m not drinking with dinner which helps, too. I read the sober diaries which was really good and funny. Hope everyone else is ok.

What’s pea seed lip? Sounds like a medieval ailment.

seedlipdrinks.com/shop?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4faPisX13gIVLbXtCh2gaw8qEAAYASAAEgJ4i_D_BwE

I didn't think seedlip was worth the.price tag. Sticking to my diet coke.
I'm on day 4 af today. It's def getting easier now I'm adjusting. There were months when I thought I would never get to this point.
Still can't moderate when I do drink. Have none in the house

Today is day 4 for me too. I feel good about it.
A few years ago I had CBT for depression and when I finished it, made a relapse prevention plan with my therapist to recognise and ward off future relapses.
I’ve been doing it for the last few days and the clouds seem to be clearing a bit.

How’s everyone else?

Hmm. That went downhill rapidly. Ex-H dropped by with some stuff. Smiled at me. Reduced me to tears. FML.

Back to pick myself up again. I thought I was stronger than that.

Oh NC4, hugs. If you can cope with that and still be on Day 4, you are very decidedly strong!

AF today after overindulging last night (after DD had an almighty screaming rant at me, listing every way in which I am completely useless). I finished off a bottle of gin, and now have no alcohol in the house at all. I am going to see if that makes any difference. I do have some Seedlip, but it's been there for yonks as I thought it tasted like mouthwash .

So that is two AF days out of three this week. No idea how many more there will be, but two is better than none. It was a very long and boring evening, not helped by having no internet for most of it.

Vasilisa, how are you getting on?

Am making this short as I have to go and take DD's phone and try to get some stuff ready for tomorrow... But hoping everyone is ok.

Hugs NC4. I was going to ask about the relapse strategy. What does it involve? Dion well done on AF X2!

Just got in from day 2 of pub. Not sure I can say I've moderated but I got away with it yesterday and think I have today, and has a nice time. Will be AF tomorrow.

Well, I fell off it, and I’m not proud, but basically:

Look after my house - I feel way better when my home is lovely If I feel good about my surroundings I feel better about myself.

Look after myself - amI eating well,sleeping well, keeping on top of the things that make me good?
Exercise, writing

Basically I know Im not ok when these things start to slide -my house is a tip etc
I have loads of warnings, but these are the first I notice and the easiest to act upon.

Oh my house is always chaos. I don't even worry about it that much any more because when I do have a few hours spars it feels a massive waste to spend it on housework. I am investigating robot hoovers and mops since we live in the future now. I agree with the rest of your strategy though- for me it is swimming, reading, music and the outdoors. I need those in my life at least a little bit. But it's so easy to let stuff drift isn't it? Even things you enjoy can feel like too much effort when you're feeling low, especially when you throw in weeks of coughs and colds.

I didn't get that job in Edinburgh, which is probably for the best because it was a bit dodgy job security wise and would have been a difficult one to call. I'm generally feeling happier in London again. I have good friends, a good job, I love the variety and buzz of London and I live close to the woods and heath and lots of lovely places. But it does feel like it's getting grimmer each day. I took Dd1 to the local station yesterday at 8pm to collect her grandma and honestly it felt like we were in the Wire. 2 separate druggies yelling at people, beds and stuff set up under the bridge, sirens every few mins. I walk past this stuff every day and its heart breaking and dd1 is getting pretty immune to it which really bothers me. But it'd be just as heartbreaking if I moved I guess, it would just be out of sight. This is ten mins walk from my house. Ten mins in the other direction is one of the richest neighbourhoods in the country and DD's school pals are pretty much all very wealthy and culturally very rich. They're exposed to such extremes.

Sorry,. Waffling. Am on the tube with time to kill.

Music and the outdoors are good for me too. When the weather’s nice (or just tolerable) I walk into work through a gorgeous park by the side of the river.

It sounds like you’ll be ok in London. Those things you mention aren’t exclusive to London, sadly. I live in a city in the North, not even a particularly big one, and we have people sleeping in shop doorways, druggies on the streets, knife crime, gangs etc. You just don’t hear about it in the national media. A lot of it is down to austerity and cuts to public services, and that is a national issue.
I’m feeling quite depressed by the news at the moment.

Hello,
Your relapse plans sound very good. Am not sure I could go the house one... am currently engaged in a battle of wills with DH about returning towels to bathroom etc. To be fair he does 90% of the washing up so he's not slovenly just has blind spots like we all do I suppose? As an aside there are robot mops?! I can only picture a normal old fashioned mop going about it's business solo - like a warped mop from Snow White or Fantasia 😂 I appreciate the technological reality will have moved on.

Day four AF here, but having health anxiety moments- lingering cold/cough is of course lung cancer and aches in body are signs it's spread. Believe it or not I am actually getting better with this anxiety but it's a bitch (obviously it isn't any way comparable to actual serious illness- indeed watching three close family members die in a short two year period is what has triggered this sleeping beast but it can be a pervasive little bugger)
Hope good days are had by all..

I’m not surprised you’re anxious HA. Sounds like you’ve had a tough time. Day 4 is brilliant. You’ve passed the hump now - you can easily go to weekend, or whatever your goal is.
I’m gutted I fell off it last night. I feel crap today. Not hungover, just really low. Yesterday was a bad day anyway, which is why I drank. Note to self: it doesn’t help; it makes it worse.

Sorry to hear about the anxiety HA. Have you found any effective strategies in the past?

Are you feeling any better NC4? I have low days that I think are hormone related and they are horrible.

AF tonight. In fact am in bed already.

I’m still quite down in the dumps. It’s after dealing with exH this week, I’ve taken a step back in my moving on.
I went to see a friend and her new baby this afternoon though. That was lovely. The baby has just started to smile, and she had lots of smiles for me 😊