Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

Morning everyone,
Am writing off the weekend and am back to AF days and hopefully time to develop a better strategy for next weekend.
I read a couple of blog pieces about sobriety and what struck me was the 'relief'of not having to make a decision about drinking. I can totally understand this.

Anyway, when is curry night? I can provide a butter chicken, chana masala, matar paneer and some baked onion bhajis (am thinking about our calorie intake with that butter chicken 😂)

Well if we don’t nail a bottle of wine each, we’ve got an extra 600 calories to play with. Butter chicken all round!

I'm salivating! AF last night. Tonight MIL is staying and we are celebrating her birthday but I'll try to stick to a glass or so. My mum stating later in the week, which is a bit more awkward but hopefully she'll agree to low alcohol. I might get some nanny state beers in - she likes those. I do too but they are £££.

Yes part of me is tempted by going totally AF. A friend did after a not very healthy relationship with alcoholic and she reckons it's very life affirming. I would need to get myself in a different headspace though. At the moment AF days do feel quite dreary.

Do any of you struggle with any other addictive behaviour? I'm quite bad with food and caffeine. I've never smoked apart from the occasional joint and haven't had one of those in years. Part of me wonders if they'd be better for me though!

longest I smoked on and off but had no problem in giving up and have been smoke free for 10 years. I never missed it a all. Wine would be more of a problem, but if I hadn't been able to moderate I would have had to go AF. Not everyone can moderate you only need to look at the Facebook Club Soda groups to see that! I am addicted to sport - if I don't get my daily fix of running, cycling or swimming (running mostly) I get really grouchy. There are worse addictions but I know if or when I get a serious injury it will be a real problem for me.
AF last night and at least until Thursday this week. DP away so no apéros - I never drink alone in the week.

longest I smoked for years but gave up easily when pregnant in 2001. I just had the odd one on a night out but could go weeks without.
Then about 2 years ago the addiction came back with a vengeance. I quit in June but it’s not been easy. I’m doing ok though.

I also struggle with snacking and am a little bit overweight which is part of my reason for cutting back the booze.

It’s like I have this empty feeling I’m always trying to satisfy, but nothing quite works.

NC4 I totally get that! In fact I'm waiting for an appointment to get the Mirena coil removed to see if that helps with my low mood but part of me thinks it won't really, because my low mood is based on perfectly rational existential angst about the futility of life and the world in general! Perhaps that feeling is a symptom of something though. I was prone to depression in my terms but was very happy for years before my dh's health went down the toilet and the world embarked on a suicide mission.

Anglaise - do you mind if I ask a question - you may have answered on previous threads so apologies.

Were you able to moderate successfully from the get go or did you have the "reward reflex" at the beginning? If you had to transition to moderation how long do you think it took?

Well I'm through the door and first night AF with a cup of tea not a glass of wine .
Listened to 2 hours of The Sober Diaries on the way back from a conference and while it's not gripping it's put me in the better mindset .
Have a lovely evening everyone .

HAHelp I can't remember if I answered on other threads! I just moderated from the start, I had quite a few motivators and decided to stop in the week and limit myself to 10 units over the weekend with no more than 3 in one go. I suppose that was my reward for being AF in the week. But with alcohol it is important NOT to go over 2 or 3 units because your self control goes out of the window. I had my wine as a treat before dinner, I didn't drink with or after the meal. I have quite a lot of willpower which helped along with the things I wanted to change in my life!

Hello I am new here and really struggling with my alcohol consumption. I did 7 months sober last year, then had a manic episode followed by a breakdown and my drinking has been escalating over the last few weeks, so much so that I have been drinking in the day (not every day). My mum has now moved in so I am not alone and can't purchase alcohol, the drs have given me diazepam to take whenever I want a drink and I have counselling starting tomorrow. I just feel so anxious and depressed all the time and drinking just takes it all away, then I'm worse the next day, it affects my meds and the cycle repeats. I don't know what else to do, I am desperate to change but feel stuck 😢

Diazepam?! Where the fuck are you?! I would be very wary of that as an alcohol replacement!

Well it's either diazepam or alcohol and I won't be off my face on diazepam like I am if I drink. It's the lesser of two evils. I don't take it regularly, just when I get anxious which normally leads to me drinking. I'm I. The UK.

Diazepam or other benzodiazepines are often prescribed to help reduce the withdrawal effects of stopping drinking alcohol.

I’ve heard of that as a treatment for physical symptoms of alcohol too. It sounds like you’re having a really hard time recovery.

I think I’d take the doctor’s advice here.

I am prone to depression and one of the reasons I want to cut back is for the hideous anxiety ridden way I feel the next day. It cripples me.

And yet it feels so good at the time. I need to shake that- play the film to the end.

I’m counting tonight as a success. We went to the fireworks - my friend came round for tea, and we had food and mulled apple juice. Can I keep it up for the week? I hope so.

Recovery - just reaching out to give you a hug. Sounds like you’re having a majorly tough time. I too have heard of diazepam to help with effects. I take propanolol..it gives me that chill effect that I get with alcohol. I try and use it instead of drinking. I too only take it when I’m at breaking point and want to gain control before I loose it. It helps.

NC4 - well done, that’s a success!!

Recovery, a hug from me too. I have also heard of Diazepam being used to help with alcohol cravings. It is obviously not the ideal solution, but arguably less un-ideal than alcohol (not least as gradual withdrawal from Diazepam/benzodiazepines can in turn be carefully controlled/monitored). I had some for a while (it was XH's, but he didn't like it so gave it to me), but I gradually used it up and probably couldn't get any more now. I saved it for times when I thought there was no other way to get through an evening. Interesting about the propanolol, Flossie. I had looked it up on Mumsnet, wondering if it would be any good.

When you say I just feel so anxious and depressed all the time and drinking just takes it all away, then I'm worse the next day, all I can say to that is you are not alone. NC4 says it too... and I think most of us could say similar.

Longest, I have always been prone to slightly obsessive behaviour (former anorexic). I'm now a bit obsessive about exercise (feel horrible, miserable, blobby if I am unexercised). Alcohol is the only substance I've ever become involved with, though that's hardly a great achievement, given how toxic it is.

Fed up as DC2 was supposed to be back at school yesterday but has a stomach bug so is still at home. FML.

Morning all

Recovery welcome. I hope you find some support here.

I still feel rough. Thought I was better yesterday, had a manic, busy day that started at 5am then finished work at 10pm, around kids and house and everything else. Woke up at 2am coughing like a 40 a dayer, couldn't get back to sleep until 4am. Then DH alarm went off at 6am, then mine at 7am and I turned it off and went back to sleep. Didn't wake until 8am, we leave for the school run at 8.15am 😂😂😂.

Got there in time, just, but had to use the car. Feel really ropey, was going to book a docs appt as I have asthma and (tmi) have been coughing up some remarkable looking stuff but now have a non productive dry asthmatic cough so not sure now. Temp ok, bit low if anything so no symptoms to treat.

Was AF Saturday night, had 1 small bottle of beer sunday and 1 g and t (that dh made me while I was in bath) last night. So not AF but very moderate.

Hoping to feel better soon. House a bomb, loads of work to do and currently drinking coffee feeling shit. Sigh.

Last night I drank the last of the wine in the house (cheap and quite nasty red gadzey) and that's it - I will not buy wine again until the weekend.

I am going to try and moderate this week, with the plan to be dry Monday - Thursday every week, and have max 3 units a Friday, Saturday & Sunday.

I will ask my dr about Proponolo but I am on other meds for my bipolar so need to see if this is ok.

Very tearful this morning, already taken diazepam, probably fall asleep soon. Kids are at school/childminders and my mum is here. Anxiety as I have a PIP assessment on Friday. Scared I can't stop drinking, would love to down a bottle of vodka right now, but know it will lead to more depression and anxiety. Got counselling today, hoping that will help. Thanks for the support and not judging, I feel like a terrible mother and burden to everyone 😢

Ah recovery, it sounds like you are having a rough time. I've been depressed a few episodes in my life, and I know how it consumes you. . Good your mum is there for support and hopefully you have a good relationship with your gp.

I drank heavily for 10 days on holiday and did first day af yesterday. Horrible headaches and general crappiness which I'm sure is withdrawal. Was tempted to seek through cupboards last night, but know we only have leftovers of lemichello, ouzo, archers- that's been there 10 years... I need to bin it all, but won't!

Recovery, you are working on it, that is an amazing thing. Keep going!

Recovery I hope the day wasn't too hard for you. Its good that your mum is there to support you and hopefully keep alcohol out of reach.
Defender90 your moderating plan is exactly what I've been doing for 14 months, I hope it works for you. Although the last month my units have gone up slightly due to DP being around more but I still can't drink more than 3 or 4 units in one go, I just don't want to anymore.

Shitty day. Yelled at the kids, cried, hardly eaten, been to counselling now sat exhausted on the sofa waiting for bed time. Had to cancel a friend coming over a i feel so depressed and anxious. Really wanted a drink but haven't. Think an early night is on the cards. At least it's another day sober!

Utterly shit and devastating day!! 6hrs journey to London to take my dd to see specialist. Horrid sad appointment. Had large glass of wine at station bar!! On train back to my parents now couple hours away. Then home tomorrow. God I’m going to be soaking wet tonight!!!!!!!