Letterbox

[MissFenella]

Is it usual/typical for letters from parents to include 'when you are 18 and we meet again....' type stuff.

Letter from birth mum included a few 'wonderful future together' type references.

Putting aside the heart crushing 'she thinks I am babysitting' element (because that is about me not the girls) how would you couch the tone to your children?

I'm bloody devastated about not getting a laurel though. That's hit me where it hurts - I'm weeping up here on my high ground.

You should be glad Pie - laurel is poisonous

The leaves and fruit pips contain cyanolipids which are capable of releasing cyanide and benzaldehyde. Benzaldehyde has the characteristic almond smell associated with cyanide.

1.5% cyanogenic glycosides are present in the leaves. During maceration, this becomes glucose, hydrogen cyanide (prussic acid), and benzaldehyde. Cyanide starves the central nervous system of oxygen and, thus, causes death.

Laurel has enough of the poison in the leaves to be used by entymologists as a way of killing insect specimens without physical damage. They seal the live insects in a vessel containing the crushed leaves.

Confusing the laurel for bay and using the leaves of this plant in cooking has resulted in poisoning.

Anyone at the top of the leaderboard gets laurels (temporarily).

But are we going to limit the leaderboards to adopters? Its a bit of a conundrum because if we do then we will be excluding all non-adopters and will be slated for it, but if we include non-adopters then very few adopters will be at the bottom of the point score and we won't be able to name and shame then for not doing well enough.

I was supposed to being conciliatory - and I genuinely did feel bad that anyone would feel put off posting on Adoption. I also did feel bad that contributions I've made over the years to threads by birth parents and prospective adopters and adult adoptees have basically been consigned to the trash as being worthless and off putting.

I suspect that last post by notanotherword was designed to be as inflammatory as possible - so ridiculously so that its a struggle to engage in sensible debate anymore.

Anyone at the top of the leaderboard gets laurels bayleaves

I feel terrible, not only do I only have -2 points and absolutely no laurels, but just last year I gave away my car because it was behaving badly.... I'm the worst adopter EVER.

I think you'll find that some of us have given up on sensible debate

Your comments to saturnvista are totally unacceptable. Pretty appalling in fact.

Also, stop telling people they are not allowed to post. As flaming and jamming say, if you think someone is out of line, report.

Tangerine, I have not lied and none of my posts have been inconsistent. You not being able to comprehend what someone says is not the same thing as them being a liar.

Kewcumber - I have not searched your name (can't be bothered, don't have time) - I remembered your name. I didn't call you disgusting I said I found the responses disgusting. It seems you cant cope when people respond like with like.

I'm still worried about your pointy head Kew. Can't be easy to get by - people must stare.

Yes, I do want to ask exactly the same question to people who haven't adopted at all. I suppose, perhaps unfairly, that it feels like prospective adoptive parents are the ones who actually had to think about it in order to reach the point of saying 'We want a healthy baby, as young as possible,' when they could have said, 'We're also prepared to consider older siblings or children with HIV.' I genuinely don't understand what we're all here for if not to do what we can to alleviate children's suffering. Also honestly feel very sad for all the wonderful children that adoptive parents miss out on as they sit on waiting lists for their healthy baby. I think five days in a children's home would cause anyone with a heart to line up for the privilege of taking home siblings, or a child with HIV.

I've heard a lot of hot air about how much adoptive parents just want to give a needy child a home etc etc. If that was true, we wouldn't need to relocate! The words 'great match for our family' set my teeth on edge. Like a matching handbag, do you mean? I would never look at my second child and think, 'pity he's not a great match for this family...'. It's not acceptable regardless of how the child has got there. And it's self-serving because whoever is going to look at a child with profound disabilities and think 'He'll fit in nicely?' Love isn't like a jigsaw puzzle where everything slots together so conveniently.

I suppose I think adoptive parents can come over a bit precious. Very touchy at any perceived slight as if they're fragile and endangered when in reality the people who are fragile and endangered rarely make it out of institutions.

A pointy head: '1. A person who, whilst most likely possessing above-normal intelligence, nevertheless annoys the living crap out of their friends.'

No one has been told not to post. You just have to run the gauntlet of Rottweilers, poisonous plants and kews pointy head. Keep posting - it's totally up to you.
If you think a post is disgusting then report it. I have no idea anymore to who you are referring but I'm still firmly in the "don't give a shiny shit" school of thought on your opinion.

Oh. While I have never searched for your posts, Kew, I have also noticed your name attached to comments that weren't the nicest in the past. No, I can't remember because they were not interesting enough and no I can't be bothered to substantiate this claim.

" child with HIV"

< scores off another >

< profound disabilities >

And another

You must have a full house on that bingo card by now, Stacey surely? Did you pop to the loo in the middle and miss some?

Forgettable and offensive posts. Thank God she has higher than average intelligence. I'm starting to think much of this is being aimed personally at Kew.
"Precious", "fragile" " matching handbags" - nope, still don't care. It's all a little deliberately inflammatory to genuinely care that this opinion is being held.