Adoption Tearoom - open for business

[MediumPretty]

or maybe a place for me to talk to myself . Not as glamorous as the One Child Families tearoom, just somewhere to have a cyber cuppa and chat.

I went to pick DD (adopted from China) up from school yesterday. Whilst waiting in the playground I got chatting to the grandma of one of her classmates. I find playground chitchat hard work sometimes and I made a lighthearted remark about life since we adopted DD. The perfectly nice Grandma said "it's hard bringing up a child who isn't your own". She said that 30 odd years ago she had fostered two boys for what should have been a few weeks but they stayed with her until adulthood - one was still living at home.

I told her that we think of DD as "our own".

Silence followed then (as the bloody school bell still hadn't gone), I said something inane about enjoying having a daughter and Grandma said "I feel closer to my daughter, than my two sons who are not mine".

She didn't mean any harm with her remarks but it was an insight into how some people view adopted children as somehow less than a birth child and I felt a bit deflated

Just wanted to offload - will nip to M&S for some scones in case any one pops into the tearoom.

Hello, Timster - glad you're no longer rinsing the mug before putting it into the dishwasher

A baby shower is an American tradition where a party is held, usually before baby is born, and friends get together and give the mum-to-be presents for the new child. How lovely that your friends are doing it for your two DC.

What an exciting time this is for you; and 6 and 4 are such nice ages - I didn't really enjoy being a mum until DD turned 4 and now she is 6 and a half she is fantastic company, I'm really looking forward to her 7 week break.

And as for short introductions ... we received 3 photos of DD and a medical report, 8 weeks later we were finally allowed to travel to China where she was literally just handed over to us for what they call the Harmonious Period where we took her back to the hotel and she stayed with us overnight. Next morning we went back to the Civil Affairs Office and legally adopted her. Just had a brief chat, through translators, with the orphanage officials, no contact with the foster family who had cared and cherished DD for the past six months .

Fortunately, we had no problems with DD attaching to us but have so many questions that we won't be able to answer when our little girl starts asking.

How's the girly bedroom coming along?

Oh, it's MediumPretty btw, have temporarily namechanged to reflect my complexion

Invited a mate over to help with the bed. Builder type and knows lots about furniture too. ;)
Got the bed put together and decided that it's going to need to be a custom fit cabin bed type thing, using the top bunk. Was expecting that, but now need to create a stable base for it to sit on. IKEA toy storage is going to do the job, but need to fix that to the floor and add some MDF to the side so the bed 'sits' on it safely. Screw it all together and Robert's your Dad's brother.
Right then, just need to feed myself now and then to watch some trashy TV until I fall asleep on the sofa.
DW is away tonight so I can watch whatever I want for a change. TopGear re-runs on Dave it is then. Night all.

Next 12 years, a write off? Oh crap really? I was looking forward to fun days and hellish nights, tantrums and tiaras, boyfriends and girlfriends, homework and proms, birthday party taxi service and "Can you come and get me" at all hours.
My life? I never had one, so I won't miss it. ;o)

What a classy lady!

I'm just seeing if there's a thread on today's Narey report on adoption. Did anyone see it? It was printed in The Times.

Hello everyone, sorry to butt in but have just joined Mumsnet as a mummy of two DD's, one just turned 17 who is our birth daughter and one of 3 who we adopted from our extended family. It seems really rare to find anyone who has adopted a family member but it looks like thefirstMrsDeVere has - am I right? If so I'd really love to have someone out there who understands the peculiarities of inter-family adoption - but perhaps not on this thread which doesn't seem to be the right forum... any advice you can offer a newbie to the whole Mumsnet experience would be very much appreciated! Thank you!!

Hi janetk, nice to have you on board. Yes, you're right that MrsDeVere has adopted a family member, and I'm sure she'd be very happy to talk with you (she's a bit busy tonight on the NoTW thread).

You could PM her directly - just find her on a thread (use search function) then click 'message poster' on the blue bar above her post.

Or you could start a new thread in this topic, which might draw in other people with similar experience.

All best and don't be a stranger..

I think it is subscription only, Mary. I've summarised some main points on the other thread, or I'll pop it in the post to you if you like

hi Janet - don't be folled by this lot offering you cups of tea or even a nice Latte. They don't actually turn up and give you one , I'm sure they could be done for false advertising but never mind [smug] I am sitting here with my real latte which I made myself whislt I take a break from the paint stripping (I think adoption was easier...)

I really want to read this Narey report myself. However, silly me didn't buy the Times, and I refuse to pay to read a paper online, when I can look at all the others for free!

Maryz - I know! Oh, if only I could have the computer to myself whenever I want it. But no, DD2 wants to play the Sims2 (constantly, I swear that game must be addictive)

Lilka, I have a copy that I have offered to send to Maryz. If she doesn't want it - or after she's read it - I can stick it in the post to you if you like.

That is horrendous, Maryz.

Am off now to find the incubator thread. will I regret it?

Oh Mary - those poor children

Hester - My brother usually gets The Times so I'm going to see if he has it, but if not, then thank you so much :) I'll PM you later

Afternoon all! Proud mum alert here! DS1 achieved level 5's for Maths and English in his SATS - what a clever lad! So pleased for him as he worked hard to get good grades to set him up nicely for secondary school!
I failed to understand DS2's teacher though - he turned 9 on Weds so in Y4 and at the younger end. For reading he achieved 3a (which means he is a smidgeon off level 4 apparently which is an average score for Y6) but for progress he was marked a C which means he is failing to sustain progress in this subject - goodness me, I was a little shocked as DS1 was on level 3c at the same time in year 4 (also a younger one, August birthday) and was marked a B by the same teacher. I boycotted parents evening as I would have got cross with the teacher and probably got into trouble (he doesn't like me very much and the feeling is quite mutual!)
Still we so hope that come September there will be room for DS2 at another school and we will move him for the final 2 years to a school where children are valued and the centre of the operation of the school.....
DS1 has really struggled since the bullying episode a few weeks ago but the end of term is in sight and will hopefully come sooner rather than later!
Happy weekends to you all!

Glad to hear DS1 has done so well despite the bullying Daisy - have a glass of Babysham to celebrate

Hic!

HI Mary, I'm here... oh [stares in disappointment at 9/10ths empty bottle of plonk and tortilla chip crumbs]

Hello! I am just off to bed though

Did you all miss me?