Adoption Tearoom - open for business

[MediumPretty]

or maybe a place for me to talk to myself . Not as glamorous as the One Child Families tearoom, just somewhere to have a cyber cuppa and chat.

I went to pick DD (adopted from China) up from school yesterday. Whilst waiting in the playground I got chatting to the grandma of one of her classmates. I find playground chitchat hard work sometimes and I made a lighthearted remark about life since we adopted DD. The perfectly nice Grandma said "it's hard bringing up a child who isn't your own". She said that 30 odd years ago she had fostered two boys for what should have been a few weeks but they stayed with her until adulthood - one was still living at home.

I told her that we think of DD as "our own".

Silence followed then (as the bloody school bell still hadn't gone), I said something inane about enjoying having a daughter and Grandma said "I feel closer to my daughter, than my two sons who are not mine".

She didn't mean any harm with her remarks but it was an insight into how some people view adopted children as somehow less than a birth child and I felt a bit deflated

Just wanted to offload - will nip to M&S for some scones in case any one pops into the tearoom.

and i am LOL at the thought of you in a white fluffy dress

Maybe your dd will surprise you with her response, Kristina?

I never dreamed of a wedding either. I've always been slightly appalled at the thought of wasting spending that much ££ on a glorified am dram dinner party.

I have to say - lesbian solidarity aside ("I must not make stereotypical assumptions"), from what you say the gf is rather annoying me. But I guess this is how it goes, isn't it? How many of our parents approved of the partners we had when we were 25? And how often were they right?

But really, what can you do? (Other than come on here and vent about it, which you are more than welcome to do, anytime )

Thnaks hester. And everyone esle. Its been really helpful to get so many peoples perspectives on this. Especially a parents as they are more sensible than most .

Two bits of great news in the space of a week! OK, this isn't as big as having a new LO in the family, but FINALLY DD2 has reached the top of the list for art therapy. The waiting has been hard because I think this will really be of benefit to her. Hopefully all being well, should start soon :)

Anyone been watching Educating Essex? I love the head, he's so committed to the kids..he seemed so heartbroken when Vinni went into care, he was fighting back tears :( I went to Channel 4's website and it seems things are getting better steadily for Vinni, which is good

How are you now Kristina?

DS has started writing a christmas list...I dread to think whats going to be on it

Great news, Lilka - I really hope it has a good impact.

I haven't seen Educating Essex, though I keep meaning to. I guess I've missed it all now? I read an interview with the Head and Deputy the other day, and thought they sounded lovely.

I'm trying to get my arse organised to get on with sorting out dd1's birthday party. It is her first and only 'big' one - hired hall and entertainer - and like a chump I booked it for the begnning of half term (not realising) and loads of people will be away. Feeling a bit gutted. How many do you think we need there to make it feel like a proper party?

I would say around 15 makes it a "big" party but you need to be sure you arrange the space properly to make it look like a crowd. SO bunch the eating area up so they are all squished together have the entertainment area somehwere else etc

Only 12 yeses so far. We may just scrape another 5 . I feel a bit gutted for dd. And really annoyed that I didn't invite the whole class - too late to go back now with a B list.

I'm having a crap mum moment. Actually, I'm having a crap day. You know, one of those when everything just kind of feels too much... Boy, do I need chocolate.

Hester, she'll love it no matter how many are there. You're thinking about it as an adult might, with that fear of having a party and noone turning up. She won't have that fear - this is her first party so she won't have any expectations.

Or if you really are worried about her being disappointed, could you reschedule the hall and entertainer and just contact those who've already accepted and let them know the new date? I did this with ds's party one year because it clashed with another boy's party and many of the same kids were invited to both. Ds came home from school one day and said X says he can't come now cos he's going to Y's party instead. My heart broke for ds and changed the date of the party straight away and still hold malice in my heart for the child who accepted and then declined when he got "a better offer"