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Original poster

All a bit complicated

243 replies

zeebrugge · 29/12/2010 18:36

I was adopted as a baby in 1971 and lived with my adopted parents until March 1987 when they were both drowned in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster. I was put in short term foster care and then long term foster care until I timed out on my 18th birthday.

I was allowed to visit my former home, on the day after the funeral, to collect my belongings but never stayed there again. When my aunt and uncle came back from Denver in 1989 they lived there for a while.

Now I can sort of understand why I wasn't in the will, being adopted rather than a birth child. But as somebody told me over Christmas, and why I am writing now, surely I was left something. Did I really matter so little to them?

OP posts:
MackerelOfFact · 05/01/2011 14:11

This is such a sad story. :( I can't believe how callous your aunt and uncle have been. I don't buy that they paid themselves an allowance to live in and maintain the house - what vested interest would they have in ensuring it was maintained if it's yours anyway? Utterly bizarre. Sounds more like they've just been embezzling the money while living rent-free in your house... and conveniently forgetting to tell you it was yours.

Great than you managed to get the photos though, and that you've finally been alerted to this appalling situation.

monkeyflippers · 05/01/2011 14:12

Get yourself a new solicitor as soon as possible and take them for every penny you can get! Also please, please call the police! You have been so unfairly treated and conned for all these years, you really need someone on your side here. The police can investigate all sort of areas which would be too difficult for you to look into and once the ball is rolling then the police will just get on with it rather then the risk of someone pressuring you to let it go. Please don't let it go!

So if they paid you an allowance where are they saying the money went? Also what is their excuse for not telling you that the house is yours, or are they saying they did?

They are complete and utter scumbags for doing this to you, your lovely mum and dad (which they are adopted or not) would turn in their graves. I would like to think they are ashamed of themselves (aunt and uncle that is) but they are obviously completely without morals.

I am shocked that no one else was looking out for your welfare at the time.

registrationdetails · 05/01/2011 14:21

I've been following this thread and have been so angry that I've been speechless.

It sounds like there may be culpability in 3 areas:
Aunt and uncle - removed you from the scene and stole your inheritance
Solicitors - messed up at best but could have been party to a fraud
Social Services - failed in their duty of care towards you

You need to speak to the police ASAP re the theft by your aunt and uncle because they may try to destroy anything that might incriminate them and also get an independant solicitor to advise you from now on.

You know now that your parents did love you and made provision and I'm so sorry for what has happened to you and hope that you will be able to get things put right.

mumofloads · 05/01/2011 14:45

zeebrugge I am so glad you have some photos. I hope looking at them hasn't been to hard for you.
I have an adopted dd and I can't imagine the heartbreak of her having no one to look after her if anything happened to myself and dh. I'm so pleased you now at least know your mum and dad loved you and thought they had provided well for you.
I can't imagine how cruel your aunt and uncle must be to do this to an orphaned child.

Please please get a new solicitor and contact the police before your aunt and uncle (and possibly your original solicitor) get a chance to cover any of this up.

PaisleyLeaf · 05/01/2011 14:49

They should go to prison for what they've done.

Pulling the wool over a teenager's eyes and packing you off to a foster home (that stole your wages).
And paying themselves an allowance? - on top of the £10,000 for the guardianship?

Disgusting. To just see pound signs at a tragic time when you've lost your parents.

We're all behind you zeebrugge.

maxybrown · 05/01/2011 14:56

I agree paisley Angry

Yes please do contact the police - this is not about who has the money/property etc - this is about a child (because you were little more than that) being mistreated and mislead Angry

legaleagle2 · 05/01/2011 15:31

So to summarise. A 16 year old girl loses both her parents. Despite being paid a significant sum to look after their niece her aunt and uncle put into a foster home where she is subjected to some moderate physical abuse and is also made to hand over half her wages. Meanwhile her aunt and uncle live rent free in the family home and, not content with that, they also pay themselves an allowance out of the estate.

Over the years I have met some nasty people. Indeed I have been to obliged to represent some in Court. For sheer calculated greed and nastiness this is probably the worst I can bring to mind.

Original poster
zeebrugge · 05/01/2011 16:17

I have had a frightening day. I went to the solicitors to pick up the photos of my Mum and Dad and they were really funny with me. They gave me the box, told me the letter was inside and then it felt they were wanting me to leave. It was raining and I wanted to look at the pictures but didn?t want them to get wet. In the end I found a seat in a shopping centre. It was lovely to see different photos of Mum and Dad with me as a baby and as I grew up. The one that made me saddest was one taken just a few weeks before they got drowned.

I remembered what people had said about getting my own solicitor so I walked through the town until I found one that said they did family law. I explained to the lady on the desk, then again to a middle aged man, then again to this mans brother who does major trials in London. The new solicitor said did I want to go to the police station to make a complaint. When I said yes he phoned them and spoke to somebody he knew.

When we got there I had to explain everything again. Then it was all written down and I had to sign each page. All this took ages. I think the policeman was getting quite cross. Not with me but what had happened to me.

I was getting quite frightened by now because I know that solicitors cost a lot of money. But he said there would be a queue of people a mile long wanting to do this case pro bono. Anyway he then took me back to the bus station and I came home with all my lovely photos.

OP posts:
HaveToWearHeels · 05/01/2011 16:24

oh zeebrugge I am now blubbing into a tissue in a crowded office.
Sounds like you have just started a journey that could restore your faith in human kind and get you what you deserve.
The first treasure you have found on this journey is a box full of wonderful memories, then a kind solicitor, and a policeman with a heart.
I am sure you will discover much more on your journey but you have made the first steps today, remember you have a lot of support on MN, I think your story has touched many people not least me......
I am now going home to cuddle my little girl.

bumpybecky · 05/01/2011 16:33

I've just read through this for the first time. I'm ShockSad and Angry all at once, and that's just me reading it.

zeebrugge, you must be feeling a bit shell shocked after what has happened in the last few days. I'm so glad you've got your box of photos. Be gentle on yourself, telling your story so many times over today must have been quite stressful.

monkeyflippers · 05/01/2011 16:47

Oh wow that's great progress, well done! Must have been quite a day for you. Did the police say what is going to happen next?

risingstar · 05/01/2011 16:51

zeebrugge- the original sols were off with you because they have realised that they need to be consulting with their professional indemnity insurers about your potential claim against them.

well done on today- i know that sounds crass but you have put the wheels in motion. You need to take care of yourself now- this must have come as an enormous shock to you and brought so much back that had probably been shoved right to the back of your memory. someone mentioned counselling earlier, maybe think about that?

so pleased that you have got all those lovely photos

memphis83 · 05/01/2011 16:53

oh zeebrugge what a shocking story, i hope that your aunt and uncle get what they deserve and this solicitor helps you get what is rightfully yours, sounds like the family solicitors could be in a lot of trouble too, I hope it all gets sorted please keep posting progress and enjoy going through your lovely photos, knowing after all these years your parents really did love you and want the best for you sadly their currupt family ruined this for you for many years but now you can look forward

lalalonglegs · 05/01/2011 16:58

zeebrugge: you haven't mentioned a husband or partner - you do have someone to help you through this, don't you?

StarPlayer · 05/01/2011 17:00

Zeebrugge your situation has made me cry.

I'm glad things are moving forward for you in a positive way.

Your parents LOVED you - they did not adopt you on a whim.

Huggs & kisses to you.

mumofloads · 05/01/2011 17:36

So pleased for you zeebrugge. You are being so brave.

You have done the right thing I know raking all this up may upset you but you must get what is rightfully yours.
We are all here to support you. *lalalonglegs raises a good point. I haven't noticed mention of a dp is there someone in RL who can support you as well.

Macrophage · 05/01/2011 17:58

Wow zebrugge, what an awful thing to have done to you.

I have nothing to offer you, I know zero about this kind of law but I had to post and say I am SO pleased that you have been to the police. These vile people deserve to go to prison for what they have done.

Good luck with it all, I'll be thinking of you with my fingers firmly crossed that your thieving family get their comeuppance and you get what you deserve and what your parents wanted you to have.

X

minipen · 05/01/2011 18:13

I am so pleased you have your photots and I am so glad you have someone to look out for you legally, you are so much in my thoughts. Did your Aunt/Uncle contact you at all during the years, also do you have anyone in real life you can speak to? If not you have MN Smile

TanteAC · 05/01/2011 18:17

I have been so touched by your story - please hang on in there. There may be tough times ahead, but it will all be worth it in the end. You are putting something right for your parents, which I am sure would have made them very proud.

I wish you lots of love and luck x

Original poster
zeebrugge · 05/01/2011 18:46

I've been sitting in my little house looking at all my pictures. It has been a lovely time for me although I have cried quite a lot as well. Sometimes I can almost hear their voices again as I look at the pictures.

I expect Aunt and Uncle are sitting in (my?) big house very worried about what is going to happen. I don't expect they know I have been to the police.

My husband gets back on Saturday. He works 2 weeks on and 1 week off. I have not told him all that has gone on yet as I don't want him to be worrying all the time.

OP posts:
Milngavie · 05/01/2011 18:52

I read your thread earlier but didn't have the words to respond.

You now know your parents loved you and wanted the very best for you. Your aunt and uncle are a whole other kettle of fish!!

You were very brave today and I am in awe of the courage you have shown.

nymphadora · 05/01/2011 18:53

Wow so you've done all this on your own? He will be v proud of you as everyone here is.

Xenia · 05/01/2011 18:56

Were you given a copy of the will?

Where is the money that was supposedly set aside for you?

get all the money you can out of the aunt and uncle first through the solicitor, but not in full settlement of all claims and then if they have any money then take action against them. If they have no money or assets it might be pointless to claim against them.

It's your house of course so you could move in tomorrow. It's sensible that you have got some legal advice however.

I think tonight you should go to www.landregistry.gov.uk/wps/portal/Property_Search and search for the property. You can download details of who owns it - doesn't cost much. The aunt and uncle might have tried to register it in their names or some kind of right to it after all this time and that needs to be resisted. They will need to be leaving their home and probably owe you rent over the 20 year period or whatever it is if all this can be proven.

SecretNutellaFix · 05/01/2011 19:00

zeebrugge- I have been reading this feeling so sick for you and angry as well.

I hope that your dh will be a massive support to you and I don't doubt that you will find a decent solicitor to take your case on. All I can say is well done of having the strength to challenge these thieving shitbags, and enjoy the memories of your parents who most definitely did love you. Will keep fingers crossed for the best outcome.

minipen · 05/01/2011 19:18

May be an idea to print this off to show your DH, I agree he will be incredibly proud or your strength and level headedness dealing with this. Give me a shout if you want to chat over photos, I have lots of time. I don't have many photos of my Dad (completely different circumstances) but I know how precious photos & memories can be,take care