Struggling with DD who has autism [Title edited by MNHQ]

I've had a crap weekend with autistic ds. Feel exhausted today and tearful

Does she go through 'cycles' of behaviour like my nearly 10yo? At the moment, he's very easy (albeit messy) but then he goes through phases of relentless violent, destructive behaviour and it's after a while of that that I feel I'm struggling to cope.

No, on the whole it was very supportive. Just a couple of people with autism themselves who struggled with it. But might watch said that it was a TAAT and that the nightwatch forum wasn't the place for a long conversation on the subject of the report.

I hate autism.

I’ve just had a horrible weekend with ds 23
whi also has adhd, my dd1 has asd and I have adhd, dd3 I also suspect has adhd.

my run in with ds who I love to bits has made me realise sadly I need to put some boundaries in place for now to protect myself and my dds mental health. He doesn’t live with us thankfully.

Solidarity to everyone struggling, people who don't have 'ND' children will never really get it, despite what they say. It's a hard, sometimes scary experience and when you've been repeatedly hurt, had things thrown at you, had your house destroyed and your stuff broken, you do end up feeling as though you're on the verge of a breakdown.

That's not to mention the CONSTANT worries about the future.

The other thread would have become a little too heated overnight I think (understandably so, it’s such a complex and difficult topic with strong feelings either side), and as @NiteWotcha said, it’s not the place for long-running conversations/discussions.

But this one can be a supportive space for you and others @lollipoprainbow.

I’m very sorry to hear you’ve lost your mum, no wonder you’re struggling to cope right now, on top of everything else. Have a and a today and good, long snuggle with DD (if she is the snuggly type).

Sympathies.
Today I am walking to the shop for carpet cleaner after my 14yr old threw spaghetti and meatballs down the stairs. That's after emailing school about her near meltdown earlier and not doing all her homework.

I would also be up for a WhatsApp group.

Yes that's me, ds is a pretty easy teen, don't have to worry about drinking or girlfriends, did great at GCSE's, doing A-levels, will probably be ok at uni......but then is going to have to cope in the real world.

Job interviews are going to be a disaster for him, he really struggles to talk to people he doesn't know well, constantly being rejected from jobs would put his anxiety through the roof and kill any self esteem he has. He could live alone but would never go to the doctors or dentist, would never get a plumber out if there was a problem or call the electricity company as he doesn't like using the phone and definitely not to call people he doesn't know. He would forget to do his teeth, would wear the same clothes till they fell off....He's so great but I have no idea how he is going to cope.

I'm planning on living till I'm 100 as I need to be around to help him navigate life, hopefully by then enough will be in place that he'll be able to cope!

I'll join you in a moan. Lost my temper with diagnosed 7yo DD and 'not diagnosed but if he's NT I'll eat my hat' 4yo DS this morning. Spent the morning chasing naked children around the house, forcing them into clothes, forcibly cleaning teeth etc as they blatantly ignored any other attempt for me to get them ready for school. Both DD and I cried on the drive to school. Then I had to beg school to take them for breakfast club as we were late. That's after a weekend where they repeatedly tried to wander off on a day out and were generally just a nightmare. I was even bitten right in front of Father Christmas. What hope have I got if they can't behave next to the guy that's meant to bring presents for being 'good'? Now I'm sitting at work staring at my screen trying to recover from the stress of it all. I wouldn't change them for the world but it's all so physically and emotionally draining sometimes.

That's it, isn't it? My mum died before she was 60 and as well as obviously being heartbroken, I was awake for hours every night thinking 'what if that happens to me?' In a way, I feel that we're lucky because my son is nonverbal and will never, ever be able to live independently so at least he will be looked after. But if we are not around, no one can love him as much as we do of course. I feel guilty but at the moment, he is generally a happy and content little boy who just wants his needs met!

I feel this thread. Not so much because of the behaviour (my autistic and ADHD DS9 is not very defiant) but because of how it holds him back. He overthinks everything and it's so damaging to his self-esteem. He hates that he can't cope or do some thing like his peers. It breaks my heart when he is trying his best to fit in and I can see the other kids are thinking the equivalent of WTF because he just doesn't react in a typical way.

I'd love a WhatsApp group. I have zero capacity to start or manage one but if there is one I'd love to join. It's a lonely place, this type of parenting.

@lollipoprainbow @Booklover3 @Bubl And anyone else I've missed - will try and start a whatsapp - so if you want to join PM me. Warning - I'm rubbish at technology so might take a while, also not in UK so just heading to bed.
XX to everyone on this thread dealing with autism, asd, adhd and everything else

Oops left you off last message accidently @BrioLover !