Should I advise my friend?

[FunPartyIdeas]

I don't know whether it's any of my business but...
I have an ex-colleague who is now a friend. She is younger than me - 30 (I'm mid 40s).
She is currently online dating and met a man last weekend for the first time f2f for the day. He is 34 ish. She has already told me she wants to marry him pretty much!
Anyway, she messaged me this morning to say he has come over from his place (about 1 hr away) to stay at her flat. He was there last night and slept in the living room.
Perhaps I'm being old but I worry about inviting a virtual stranger into her home? She has no parents to guide her.
Should I say anything?

She is a woman of strong Christian faith and it is not up to me to tell her that her views on sex before marriage are "wrong."

Do I think it is safe to invite a virtual stranger into your flat when you live in your own? No.

Of course you don't - no-one does and that's my point.

Not even this grown woman will think it's risk-free to invite a stranger she met online to sleep at her flat.

Not your business keep your nose out

She is incredibly trusting. She thinks he will absolutely respect her boundaries. Of course I hope he does, but I know what many men are like...

Then what's the point in you telling her anything?

You won't be the only person pointing out she shouldn't be online dating with anyone if this is how she is 🤷‍♂️

“Wants to keep herself for marriage” is so misogynistic she is not going to become a man’s property.

That’s one point of view about how to function in the world when you see something unsafe.
”Someone else will say something.”

They are her views - not mine!!!

There are men that do this also.

What does it matter? It is not a terrible thing. Certainly avoids some unpleasantries.

So just say that and ask her to text periodically? I’m not sure why you’re posting on here, or why we need your respective ages?

Yes I wondered about the ages too.

Unless the OP is saying she feels 'motherly' towards her or something.

But I'd say that's not particularly a good thing in a friendship between two adults.

So he stayed over and all went well?

Have you heard from her since then?

So you’ve witnessed her have her fingers burned lots of times in the past?

One night stands?

I cannot tell you how much I would have resented you at 30 if you'd spoken to me like my mother and warned me it wasn't 'safe' to have a man there. She has weighed it up and made a choice.

It's infantalising and offensive. She has not asked for your advice or opinion.

Agreed. Added to which this is a woman who works, has her own property and lives alone , and her own life beyond the OP. And her church and all the support from there. This will be no limp lettuce

What about them?

I don't understand what you're asking?

Lots of women have one night stands
and lots bring them back to their own home rather than go to his home.
Not unusual

Well, quite.

But are you saying you think this is risk-free behaviour?

The point is, it's obviously not and there won't be a NT adult woman in the world who doesn't know this.

Yes I know. Very risky behaviour.

Yes. The last guy she dated she told me she was marrying, within weeks of dating. She asked if my daughter would be flower girl.
Until she found out he definitely wasn't the type of guy she was looking for.

Of course there’s risk.

But loads and loads do it
and loads and loads are fine

My point is. It’s not unusual. And on a balance of probability will be absolutely fine

and indeed in this very case - he slept over and absolutely everything was Fine

And yet this woman has a full time job and lives alone in her own place, which she runs entirely independently?

She is starting to sound like a bit of a red flag tbh!

She does, but she is absolutely desperate to be married so she can have a baby.