Teenager`s depression is ruining my life

[sincerestwonders]

I`ve been quite upset lately regarding my oldest child. Noticed upsetting and depressive behaviour in teenage girl, aged 17 (17y 9mth):

1. says she is lonely all the time, she is actually quite social and extroverted,she actually has no friends or peers her own age. She is home educated and we live in a very small town where the other residents and what peers her own age there are (of which there arent many as most of the towns residents are middle aged commuters) tend to ignore her/leave her out. Theres also a dire lack of social spaces in our local area for youths- most kid or retiree orientated.

2)says she is ugly, apparently we cant get braces/teeth fixed on NHS (too late to join waiting list), cannot afford private. Noticed she has been eating noticeably less food (observed her cutting all food into quarters, now only eats three quarters of what I serve her, drinking large amount of water). Shes 5ft 4, 75kg and wears size 12/14 clothes.

3)has no idea what to do post 18. The idea was to send her to college next year, but she expresses just a generic (apprenticeship) or low payed retail jobs. Definitely doesnt want to go to university, going to be difficult with 1 gcse, even though she is doing english and maths functional skill level 1 this year. I told her to do freelance part time like me but hasnt favoured this.

Personally I think she has depression. I was considering talking therapy, is this the best option?

Sorry you’re having a hard time. There’s quite a lot to unpick here.

Why was she home educated? Does she have any SEN? Has she been socialising whilst being home educated? How did she do this? What do you mean when you say that all the young people leave her out? Does she have any hobbies or go to any clubs? What is she interested in or good at?

She may well be depressed. Talking therapy won’t help if she’s got nothing going on in her life.

OP - you have posted about your children before. You have utterly failed them.For eating disorders, start with the GP.

Have you enrolled your son at school yet?

You had a thread about this yesterday.

Let the poor girl go to school / college and make some friends.

Encourage her to get active and meet some friends that way.

Why can't she go to school

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5581917-is-life-always-this-crappy

All your answers are here, just skim the OP’s replies and weep for that poor girl.

Your title is her depression is ruining your life.

What about her life?
Get her to the GP in the first instance and then to college where she can meet some people her own age.

X

Poor girl.

This poor child has been neglected horrifically. I find it upsetting that you keep posting about it like she’s the one making your life difficult.

She’s about to enter adulthood completely unprepared having had her needs unmet as a child.

Poor kid if this is real. You say her depression is ruining your life, when it sounds like you have actually and actively ruined hers either with your own mental health or intelligence. You’ve isolated her and limited her learning to the point where she doesn’t have options, and you’re blaming her depression for impacting your life. What were you expecting to happen?

She's ruining your life? You've ruined hers....

You’ve got 2 current threads about this

Jesus, this again? Did you enjoy all the outrage you stirred up last time?

You’ve completely fucked up as a parent. Your poor daughter

Poor girl. She should have been in school. You've totally failed her. Get her into college, so she can start to build a life.

The fact that you think the main impact of HER depression is to ruin YOUR life is very telling.

I've read your other thread and there's really nothing more to add. You have essentially done this to your daughter and it's awful.

YOU RUINED HER LIFE!!!

1 gcse? Which job will she do? Get her to a college asap which will take her

Sounds like home schooling your daughter has done her no favours at all.

Yes, your daughter most likely has depression. It is no doubt caused by the neglect and abuse that you have inflicted on her. You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself for what you've done to this girl.

This is so sad. That poor girl.

Jesus christ shes back again. Honestly OP you must be the most self centred person I've ever met. Your poor poor daughter. I hope she finds the strength to leave your grip.

You posted able this a day or two ago in parenting and apparently other times too. Go read them and the responses you had and do something instead of continuing to post,

Having seen your multiple posts OP, I imagine you'll get up one morning after she turns 18 and find her gone. Is that what you want because that is where you are heading?

For God's sake give the poor child some freedom and send her to college.

What are you hoping for from this new thread OP?

There is an epidemic of kids like yours about to be launched in life. Those parents who took kids out to home educate and failed miserably. It is a choice and one which needs hard work - which many parents do and have well rounded and educated kids. You, OP, have not done this and as a result have failed your child. If you have done six hours of education five days a week why on earth does she only have two qualifications and not the two most important ones? I really hope
she goes to college and is allowed to grow and make her own decisions.