Rules for being old

[TheFamousSix]

This is a bit mean spirited but I am writing myself a list of rules for when I am old based on the things I am struggling with regarding my own parents.

My list so far

Your kids do not care about your friends' illnesses (unless it impacts you eg your friend is dying or you are caring for them)

If you wouldn't say it to your daughter in law then don't say it to your daughter (eg judgement of parenting things)

Only offer food once, or twice max. It is not generous to offer a dozen times, just annoying.

Any others?

Mischance puts it perfectly ,

Early 60s, no children. We've never hoarded, have already set up a digital archive of good family history photos, for relevant cousins etc., and destroyed the unknowns, have never collected niknaks, don't have a stacked loft. I do think habits start well before 'old age', so imo better to start to break them early if possible and sit down to head off issues at the pass.

Stop with the performative shock and horror about how much things cost nowadays. Inflation is real, nobody likes it but they don't want to hear about how you fed the whole family for ten bob a week and still managed to save for Christmas.

'The government' does not run care homes and does not get your money if you go into one. Care homes are private businesses.

Stop asking your daughter and granddaughter to sort out and renew your parking permit every year

If you are too old to sort out your own parking permit, you are definitely too old to drive.

This.
Just like hotels/airlines/restaurants/supermarkets etc.
Do you resent giving those business your money to improve your quality of life?How do you live, spending nothing at all? 😂

Do you resent giving those business your money to improve your quality of life/

I resent money lining the pockets of rich companies rather than paying and supporting the carers properly. We need a National Care Service - bring it on Andy!

But I do take your point - if you need something (e.g. a stair lift, a home carer) and you have the money to pay for it then just do it!

You are correct, care homes can be private businesses,but why should i have to sell my nouse to cover care home costs when some people get it for free?

Because they dont have any money. And you do.

True. I agree. Although the fact you have a house means you can buy a nicer level of care than someone who only has £23k and therefore goes into a state run carehome.

For the same reason I pay council tax and my neighbour doesn’t.
People with the mean to pay for things pay for them /those don’t are subdidised.
No different to care.

simpsonthe cat, i dont have money, my only asset is my home, i have worked since the age of 15 for a measly state pension and a works pension that takes me roughly over the qualifying limit for pension credit by £12 a month!

What a hideous thread. "a bit mean-spirited" my arse

MN doesn't half love a legitimate excuse for slagging off older people

I am an old person and want to avoid being the type of older person that would exploit ‘my age’ to cause distress to my children.

I suspect you've never looked round any care homes. They're all private. Some nicer than others but if you're self funded the fees will be subsidising the residents who are state funded. Same care, same rooms. We looked at loads before mum died.

Perhaps the government should be running good quality care homes, with insurance schemes

You suspect wrong. Unfortunately.

Obviously you can pay for a swanky care home. Which is much nicer than a care home that is less expensive. The state wont be housing people in the swanky care home. You can also pay for care at home if you can afford it. Even if you have advanced dementia.

This is the solution

Feels a bit like turning the clock back!

When I was an adult social worker all but a handful of care homes were LA run, funded by central government, local rates (as were) and the benefits system.

No greedy investors to feed; and properly paid, trained and supported staff.

Than Maggie appeared ..........

But prime world not v accept that basic provision nowadays. The 70s had different expectations.

There are many people in that position and unfortunately that's life. I don't mean to sound dismissive, but it is.
I also had my first job at 15 when I left school.

We are lucky enough to be reasonably comfortable and I would not hesitate to sell my house to fund a care home if it became totally necessary.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

64

lol was thinking of starting a new thread with a poll-at what age fits ‘old’ start.
I don’t think it’s an actual number but when you have sit down to lace up trainers. Or when you day’ in my day..’

If mother "is deemed to have capacity" there will be no putting her in a home.