Would you kick your kids out at 18 or let them stay as long as they want?

[Ursula14]

What’s your opinion on the meme that (white) British parents (in common with other North-Western European cultures like German, Scandinavian, Dutch etc and American, Canadian, Australian etc) kick out their children at age 18 and tell them to make their own life?

And that by contrast, Southern European/Eastern European cultures and Arab/Asian/African cultures seek to have their children live at home as long as possible?

Do you agree with this practice or not?

Fair enough. I think the only way I could happily live permanently with my adult children was if I was fabulously wealthy and we all lived in sections of a very large manor house like Lawrence Lewellyn Bowen does.

That way everyone can have some space.

@Ursula14 why do you want to know? You’ve not volunteered your opinion.

Do you all really want to live with your adult kids partners? I don't. And I am Asian. Most of my extended family live in multi generational set ups- not all in this country- and nearly all the women are miserable. Works great for the men mostly, but some of them are miserable too.

I wouldn't. I wasn't ready to stand on my own two feet at 18 and I don't think many kids are. Mine will stay home as long as they need to. What I don't like is that children in care are usually booted out at 18 because carers aren't paid after that. It's wrong. Most aren't ready, especially after a really tough start that leaves many of them damaged and vulnerable, so how are they expected to cope.

The situation is so very circumstantial though. I think it isn't a general thing for parents to kick their children out at 18 and nobody I know of other than through work has been. But I can see a number of reasons why it may happen.

Once child benefit is no more, it costs money to keep someone in the house. If they are unable to help with costs, it can just be unaffordable for some. And if a single parent, adds another 25% onto council tax bills once there's a second adult in the house.

You could live in a tiny cramped house with everyone doubling up in small bedrooms, and younger children needing more space as they grow.

And of course there are many reasons why the child's behaviours and attitude cause them to be thrown out e.g. refusing to do anything in the house or pay any bills, smoking cannabis, bringing very undesirable people in the house, being abusive to the other members of the household or even harming them, smashing up the furniture etc, stealing from the house... the list can go on.

On the other hand you may have reasonably well behaved children and plenty of space and money. When the children start work, if they stay at home they pay something (even if a token, or just by offering to pay) towards their keep. They do their fair share of household tasks like cooking, washing & cleaning, and not just their own.

Or your child may have some form of disability which would make life much harder if they had to move out.

Everyone's personal situation is different, as are everyone's children. It would be impossible to say either way is "right" or "wrong".

I've not seen it but that meme is clearly a crock of shit. Noone I know has been kicked out of their parents at 18 unless they didn't get on and there were troubled relationships already. I'm not from a privileged background either. Don't most kids these days have to stay with parents because they can't get a job and even if they can they can't afford to private rent.

im from a south European country and have family in 4 other south European countries and the reason that happens is because housing I so expensive that young adults can’t find any, there is however a tendency of letting them mush out of mum and dad for ages and very few pay rent or help with expenses , that is ridiculous imo .
I have to say I would never throw my kids out but I would probably push them a bit if they don’t leave by early 20s , this generation is very dependent as it is so to allow them to just stay home and out no real obligations will just make it worse

What a strange post! Is that what you and your friends/family do, because I don’t know anyone that has thrown their dc out at 18!
Im wondering if this is a ‘fishing’ post to see if people think it’s ok, so you can throw out your dc!