Would you kick your kids out at 18 or let them stay as long as they want?

[Ursula14]

What’s your opinion on the meme that (white) British parents (in common with other North-Western European cultures like German, Scandinavian, Dutch etc and American, Canadian, Australian etc) kick out their children at age 18 and tell them to make their own life?

And that by contrast, Southern European/Eastern European cultures and Arab/Asian/African cultures seek to have their children live at home as long as possible?

Do you agree with this practice or not?

Not sure what meme or why people would agree with one - but I left home at 18 and never went back except for odd occasions when I moved back to my home town and was looking for a rental. No huge reason I was just ready.

my eldest boomeranged back from Uni and is working but pays a small ‘rent’, DD2 is at uni and probably won’t come back - she’s an adventurer like me, DD3 is 17 and working- at 18 she’ll pay the same as her big sister.

Only issue for me is I want to leave - I want to sell up and move back to my roots, be mortgage free and work less - so two years from now they will need to self support or move in with dad!

It used to be the case, but is not these days due to the economic situation being so bad.

Mine are welcome to live with us for as long as they like. Two are at uni now but I'm fully expecting them to move back in after uni.

Stay as long as they like. And come back if necessary.

I don’t believe that’s the standard Western option. It certainly was in my day because we WANTED to launch our in our own because it was feasible. We were able to do this AND afford immediate rented housing and know that buying was within reach in the short/medium term. Completely different scenario now.

All mine have stayed at home to enable saving to purchase as this would be completely out of the question if needing to pay sky high rents. Due to the high cost of property it’s not even saving up for the deposit that’s the issue, it’s having well over minimum deposit so repayments allow you to eat basic food and have normal electricity rather than live by candle. Mine all know how to run a household so there will be no problems on that front when they leave.

They can stay here for however long they want to, forever if they like.

@HoppingPavlova not strictly true in my case - I had 10 years of rooms in shared houses and grotty bed sits and finally purchased a house at 28, admittedly cheap as it was in a rough area, but my wages where also a lot lower than now.

You can buy a 1 bed or 2 bed place here for around £150k so still accessible to young adults

As long as they’re paying their way there’s no issue. I cannot understand grown adults living with their parents and not contributing to the household though.

I think believing a meme is quite strange
however I have never known an 18 year old kicked out of home.

according to uk gov stats based on the census the average age to move out is 24, up from 21 a couple of decades ago

I’d have them stay at 18 - 25 but I’d want them to want to go and travel and stay somewhere else eventually.

Mine can stay at home for as long as they want or need to. I've still one at home in his late twenties, his older brothers boomeranged back and forth until they eventually moved out for good. If they ever needed to live at home again for any reason, they'd be welcome.

My son will be 18 soon and there’s no way I’d kick him out!! This is his home and always will be.

WTF?
It’s my kids home!
why would anyone make their kid intentionally without a home?

I tentatively broached the idea of DS paying rent- he earns well-and my DH actually had tears in his eyes at the very thought and completely vetoed it.😉

Mhhh I have never know anyone kicking their children out of their house. I want mine to live with me forever 😂. My husband disagrees 🤦‍♀️

I would never charge my kids rent.

That’s lovely but lots of people can’t afford not to

How old are they? You might change your mind when they are adults, and might be less cute!

Well my mum is white British and I was kicked out at 16 she did the same to all her kids, so nothing I did wrong. I know others it also happened to all mothers were white British. I have friends from other races and it did not happen to them so think it was(?) more common in white British families

😂 very likely. They are 13,11 and 10. Boy, girl, boy.

My friend did this, there was no animosity or anything she was just wanting to live a quieter smaller life i guess, her kids were not far apart in age, the youngest went to live with their dad at 19 the others had their own places. It worked well. I hope it works out for you .

Fair enough. I don’t know peoples situations and wouldn’t judge just speaking for myself.

Mine is 19 and knows that he can stay for as long as he wants and will always be welcome back.

No one I know (white British) has kicked their kids out at eighteen. I have one still at home at twenty four (and working and saving hard) , and that’s not unusual around here. More unusual to have dc living at home past thirty years old.

I’m not aware of the meme, and in my experience it’s not reflective of British society.

I don’t know anyone who was kicked out at 18.

Obviously it happens, but I’d be surprised if stats showed that it was common.